Hello everyone! I'm glad some people have been enjoying my random writing and figured I should do a post like this. I was not expecting over 200 likes in what? three weeks? Idk since whenever I first posted. But I would like to know some of you better and figured I'd start that with this post!
Fun Facts:
Firstly I am a demisexual lesbian that goes by she/her (though I don't mind they/them) so that may explain the smut fics...
I'm dyslexic so some spelling and grammar may not always be correct
Yellowjackets is probably my favorite show, why I'm using it to get back into writing
Speaking of that I am extremely gay for Lottie and Nat (plus their actresses)
I do go to university and have j*bs so I may not have consistent posts/weird schedules :(
(I will try my best to upload when I can when my classes start up)
What I'm Willing to Write:
Yellowjackets obvi :D
Maybe in the future I'll try branching out into other fandoms I'm in
Fine with romance and simple smut
character x reader and character x character
mild violence/violent themes
just any cool idea I can research and feel motivated about
*What I'm NOT Willing to Write:
anything gross...
no men :D
certain kinks (please ask & elaborate)
non con (again please ask)
I will never make you guys suffer through oc x anything. I'll have strong ideas for a reader's personality + whatnot but never an oc
Special Note: I put the asterisk there because I may be ok writing those themes in a mild manner or if it works with a certain idea but it may not always be the case. Just ask me first and elaborate as much as you can cause I'll be honest, if I get uncomfy I will say no :(
summary: After the ceremony and wedding night your wife has oddly been sending mixed signals, avoidant one day then passionately doting on you the next. Being left by your lonesome in the grand Matthew's estate causes a rift she's eager to mend
tags: loneliness, angsty slowburn married couple, not a happy honeymoon, inaccurate flower language if you squint, reader can't escape the silly (has a mental breakdown), angst and comfort, actual smut this time, fingering, bathtub sex, charlotte talks reader through it, 3.9k words
a/n: I am convinced lottie is both the most awkward yet smuggest bitch there is
Days following the wedding night were a blur of gilded pleasantries and quietly suffocating. You barely saw the wife that had been so eager to ask for your hand, once she had it the Countess often seeked retreat within her corridors.
You never sought her out either, enduring her presence at the fancy dinners and court appearances where she returned to the role of a doting wife just to flee behind closed doors. Kisses on your cheek and knuckles in the eyes of the court, fresh pink or rugosa roses appeared on your vanity every morning, and the way she whispers in your ear during carriage rides was the most affection she’s provided.
One day she’s sending fine gems to your room accompanied with little notes on how radiant you’ll look then the next day one of her staff members will shoo you away from her study claiming she has important matters to attend to. Most often than not there were letters informing of urgent matters that kept Charlotte captive in her private study.
It was frustrating though you didn’t miss the sporadic affection, you didn’t want to marry her in the first place. Arranged marriages like this didn’t operate under love and passion, that was a guise they used to make young maidens more comfortable being shipped off to whatever wealthy man could afford them.
With nothing but time to spend inside a grossly oversized estate, the labyrinth of twisting hallways became impossible to navigate. Despite weeks residing there, attempting to chart which corridor led where it wasn’t uncommon to lose a sense of direction.
Instead of the dining room you starved in the winery, accidentally used the maid’s passages, shooed out of the archives when searching for fresh air, and it had been reported that you’d end up sleeping in guest rooms after giving up trying to find yours.
Today would be like any other that followed the hollow routine. After a dull dinner by your lonesome with yet another letter from Charlotte claiming to have urgent matters there was nothing more desirable than slumber. Wanting to simmer down about the life you’d been tossed into, upset that you hadn’t been given any say, desperately homesick for a time before court life in the kingdom, and a deep loathe for your wife.
Stuck with storm clouds above your head, strikes of lighting grew inside your mind with each wrong turn. Gathering up the heavy dress skirts with a groan you decided you couldn’t possibly lose anymore dignity if you ran around the opulent hellscape.
After countless misleading doors in copycat hallways none had given any direction to where your chambers lay. Ignoring the quizzical looks from maids and onlooking staff is what led you to bursting open another identical door only to be met with the Countess herself scrawling something down surrounded by books, her top unbuttoned slightly as the opened window welcomed a warm breeze.
Looking up from her desk those familiar doe eyes met yours, hair tussled as she nearly knocked over a candle burning its last hour. “My darling, what a pleasant surprise. Do you require something?” She flashed that smile you had seen too many times.
At first you swore it was delusions that made her ask for your hand, but after seeing how she saved that smile for prying eyes you weren’t sure anymore. “No, Countess, I am perfectly fine”, you grumbled.
“Sweetheart, how many times must I tell you this? I am your wife and we are in the privacy of our own home, call me Charlotte.” Sliding away from her desk she strided to the doorway where you stood, catching your wrist before there were any efforts to leave. “Tell me what is the matter.”
“As I stated previously I am fine, Countess” you slide your wrist out of her reach. There was little remorse when she frowned at the insistence with her title though you figured it was best to brush it aside. “It is late and I am simply returning to my chambers, I do not need anything from you.”
You heard her sigh as you turned away to resume the search for said chambers. “If you’re retiring to your chambers then why stop at my study?” Pausing in the middle of the corridor the need to shoot her an unladylike look felt necessary, especially when Charlotte took that to slip into something more smug.
“Darling, do you require an escort back to your chambers? I’d be more than happy to”, that stupid smirk of hers grew. “I do not need your assistance in finding my way back, I know where I am going!”
Suppressing a snicker at your frustration she followed closely behind as you stormed off, watching as you checked another set of nearby doors. Time stretched on while hastily searching for something remotely familiar that could hint to where safe haven was in order to escape her.
It didn't help that she watched every move, eyes following to where you looked or which door you reached for next. “Sweet girl, let me escort you to your destination, it’ll save us both the trouble.
For someone acting observant it was clear she didn’t see the tears forming. Standing in what felt like the millionth dead end clutching the soft fabric of your dress, staring at the patterned wall as if it could open up a hole to swallow you whole.
Instead of a magical exit you saw dread. Further realization that this pristine prison will hold you in its grip until your final breaths. Everyone called this place your home except for you, if it was home you would know where to find your bed. Home shouldn’t be tiptoeing around the woman you’d married, nor should it suffocate you slowly.
It took moments before you felt a hand on your shoulder, reminding you of reality although still engrossed in the trance. “Come along, love, let’s get you to bed”, Charlotte softly called out, still oblivious. “No…”
A dull numbing sensation spread as you swatted her hand away without a thought. Tears silently flooding down your cheeks when finally pulling your gaze from the empty wall. “I am not going anywhere with you. I am not your love, I am simply some new piece of decor you miscalculated”.
Stepping back her expression darkened, grasping at the fact she may have overstepped. “Darling no, why would you say that? I love yo-” before Charlotte could finish her words the sudden crash ended that thought.
Standing before Charlotte was you cornered at the end of the hall over a shattered vase, tears streaming, teeth bared, and chest heaving. “You do not love me! I can’t comprehend why you keep me here. You shove me aside, keep me trapped indoors, you only act like a proper wife when there’s an audience.”
Another crash followed before your mind could keep track, joining the sullen vase pieces was a nearby console table on its side. “You are a horrible wife and I abhor you!” Vision blurred from the onset of tears that didn’t falter, keeping you from seeing a distraught Charlotte unsure to look at you or the brazen scene that unfolded.
A pounding to the head and ache in the jaw followed feeling your back hit the wall, skirts bunching up and hair loosely falling out of its neat bun some lady’s maid carefully did prior. Choking out sobs everything felt painfully numb, wanting to hide from the cruel reality that was getting tiring to burden.
“I want to go home.” Those small words snapped Charlotte out of her shock, seeing her wife who had proudly scolded her the first night they met, who had been such a beautiful bride, now be reduced to a scared and confused little girl.
Risking sharp glass wanting to cling to her ankles or the storm currently inside her wife’s head she sat down next to you. “You are home, we’re both home”, she stayed quiet. Frowning at your head shaking, she lifted your chin. “Hey, look at me, we’re home. You are home and you are safe here.”
“This isn’t home”, another sob narrowly escaped you. Running a hand through your displaced hair Charlotte inched closer. “Then I need to do a better job of making it feel like home” whispering into your temple.
Neither of you knew how long time had passed in the dim hallway. Any staff that threatened to intervene Charlotte waved off, keeping your head resting against hers as her glare shot them down. Eventually she rose to her feet, hoisting you up until she was certain you’d be secure in her hold. Walking down the quiet corridors, hands on your back and thighs as she made her way to your chambers.
The tears came to a halt once she nudged the door open with her boot, gracefully setting you on top of the damask coverlid. She didn’t reach for the strap of your dresses, alternatively detangling your hair and removing the tight heels. Afterwards she scrounged around for extra linens, only stepping foot in your chambers on the wedding night she required a moment to locate what she was looking for.
Once returned she placed thick blankets over your frame, ensuring comfortability. Seeing the old jar of lavender on the nightstand, she swapped it out with fresh honeysuckle from the garden. The smell of it lingered, overtaking the dried out sprigs of lavender that had failed to cleanse the room.
It helped fully stop any remaining tears as you nestled into the linens, Charlotte sitting at your side, resuming her gentle administrations to your hair. Confident that you had fallen into a comforting slumber she adjusted the blankets one last time, pressing her lips to your forehead. “I’m sorry, my love.”
The next morning you awoke to the fresh sweetness of the new flowers left on your vanity, courtesy of you already know who. This time a delightful bundle of providence roses that likely had to be imported, the dainty pink petals adding vibrance to the monotone chambers.
Though the excitement was temporary, spotting a note next to it you had a feeling you also knew what this was about. Picking up the loose paper you glanced at the swirling loops that belonged to your wife’s hand.
Instead of a letter of notice it was an invitation, your wife extending an offer to accompany her in perusing the estate grounds. After a second outburst directed towards her you figured she’d shut herself in more or have discovered a loophole in voiding the marriage contract. A miracle you’ve made it this far with no threats involving decapitation.
Donning one of the pelisses that came with the new extravagant wardrobe courtesy of your affluent wife, it only took two wrong attempts to find the courtyard she asked to meet in. Another shock came seeing Charlotte standing beside the outer stone stairs not in her usual trousers or blouse, this time a cream floral empire gown. Casual for the occasion on top of it being scarce spotting her in any dress.
“Countess Matthews, you request my attendance?” She turned upon hearing your voice, extending an arm when you reached the last steps, managing a brief kiss above your wedding ring. “I did request to see you, looking ravishing as ever I might add. Need to see you in that color more often.”
Every instinct screamed trap, that her cheery mood and sudden desire to revert back to her coquette manner after last night didn’t quite align. Though a small part inside warned to stay on her good side, not to anger her in fear of what a plutocrat such as herself could do not only to you yet the family that dumped you onto her lap.
“Thank you. It’s a rather pretty shade of lilac, you have good taste, Countess.” Allowing her to take your hand she began guiding you onto the lush grounds. “I’d say it's more of a heliotrope, but regardless you’ll manage to outshine every flower here.”
The first part of the stroll was silent, an arm wrapped around yours, the periodic pause to admire the flora, then being met with breakfast out on the gazebo. Vines spiraled around the columns, petals graceful falling around the entryway while the swans made their grievances known from the nearby lily infested pond.
No staff were present, just two steaming cups of tea, a teapot, and a tray of pastries most likely fresh from the oven. Charlotte went ahead pulling out the chair for you, poured your tea, went as far as importing berries grown in the village you grew up in to make the tarts.
Midway through polite conversation and three pastries later she cleared her throat, snaking her hand across the table to find yours. “My darling, I hope you’ll forgive me. I cannot stop dwelling on your words last night, and frankly I’m rather vexed. Not at you, never at you, but because you were right. I am a terrible wife.”
“Charlotte”, you started, only to be stopped with her other hand. “No, my love. I was not a good wife, please let me change that. Starting today I’ll be the proper wife you deserve. I want dinners with you, no more ‘urgent matters’, to be a wife you feel at home with.”
Using her free hand she pulled out a folded piece of paper. “I’d like to increase your earlier pin money. I should have transferred enough for you to redecorate the estate, perhaps another expansion to your wardrobe. It was cruel that your uncle only allotted two dresses for you.”
She spoke as if she was informing you of a shopping list, not redecorating her estate her family had owned for who knows how many generations. On top of that mentioning potential hobbies. “Countess, you must be jesting with me.”
“I would never do such a thing. You deserve to feel at home, burn the estate down for all I care. If my wife is happy then I’m happy.” She waved her hand dismissively at said estate. “Burn down all the properties if you’d like, build a new home to your liking. That’ll give the ton something to chew on.”
Finally letting go of your hand she resumed slowly stirring and sipping her tea, looking out onto the pond. Apparently she was rich enough to build new properties from scratch at will, deeming that a normal and casual conversation with her wife over muffins.
“Speaking of that, we have another ball in a few days. I’m assuming you’ll accompany me there?” The social season was coming to a close so only a few remaining events were left to attend, high praise if you could secure a Matthews in attendance. “I believe you assumed correctly.”
A lingering sense to remain skeptical stuck over the next few days as Charlotte made herself more available. Having her private study and chambers to herself was still common but now she had nearly every meal with you, insisted on more elaborate gifts, dare you say she finally realized she skipped over the courting part and is trying to make up for it now.
On the day of the ball most of the day was spent preparing. Not much else to do in the meantime so might as well try looking your best for tonight. Midday a maid had drawn up a bath, boiled water carried up to the copper tub in the side room of your chambers with some oils mixed in.
Dismissing your helpers you figured today they could tolerate not assisting you with basic hygiene just this once. The side room door was left ajar though the minimalistic walls trapped the steam. Only disrobing when the water was no longer scalding to the touch.
When settled in, a knock from the door appeared. Too relaxed to care, you hummed at the noise in acknowledgement thinking one of your lady’s maids thought of something to help with. “My, don’t you look comfortable.”
Immediately shooting your head up was Charlotte standing in the doorway holding a pastel box, shamelessly admiring your figure in the steamy water. Bracing to cover yourself you sank lower in the tub, hoping to shield some of her view. “Countess! You cannot barge in like this!”
“Why not? You are my wife and this is my house. Besides darling, I’ve seen you undressed before.” She set the box down on a nearby stool, enjoying your reaction. “That would be correct but you are not supposed to be here. Now shoo!”
“Oh how you wound me, sweetheart. I came here to deliver the new dress I bought you but I think I’d like to stay.” Step by step she made her way to the edge of the tub, pulling her blouse off. She continued with the unbuckling of her trousers leaving a pile of clothes, not caring they got wet when adding herself at the opposite end of the tub.
“Good heavens, what ever are you doing?, you asked, still attempting to cover yourself. “Isn’t it obvious? I’m enjoying a bath with my wife.” Her expression never once faltered, even as her foot slowly nudged at your thigh.
“Come now, I won’t bite. Unless you’d like me to.” Charlotte’s hand brushed away a strand of your hair, her eyes meeting yours. Convincing yourself it was solely the steam that brought forth a rush to your cheeks you swatted at her hand, temporarily leaving you exposed.
“This isn’t proper and you know it.” Before you could make contact her hand flew up to grab your wrist, pinning it to the side of the tub, using it to take advantage by leaning closer. “There’s nothing improper about this, about time I adequately tend to my wife” she murmured into your ear.
Closing the gap her soft lips met yours, her free hand cupping the back of your neck as she tilted her head in order to get a better taste. It was hungry, sending jolts down to your core inhaling her need for you with each kiss. She leaned closer, bracketing her knees on the side of your hips as her tongue began to explore past your lips.
A whine threatened to expose you feeling her bare chest pressing against yours, creating friction with her stiffened peaks. Acting out of pure wanting instinct your hips ensured they were flush with hers, chasing the rising pleasure.
“Let me feel you, my love. Grant me access, I beg of you.” She breathlessly let out, tracing your neck with bruising nips. Her other hand slid down between your breasts, giving a firm squeeze before further journeying to dig into the inner thigh. With little room in the metal tub there was no other choice when you could feel her breath through the steam reaching the shell of your ear and her digits mere inches away from where you needed her.
“Do it.” No hesitation was required, a sudden shift sent water overflowing the tub dampening the stone floor around it. Hovering above your own body with beads of scented water dripping from her arms and abdomen her hands latched onto your hips. “Open up for me sweetheart, spread a bit wider for me.”
The edge of the tub jutted out into your back, soon finding that was a small price to pay for what came next. The spreading of your legs welcomed the now warm water to what was most sensitive, feeling one hand guiding you open while the other reached in.
Using the tips of her fingers Charlotte found your slick hidden in the depths of the bath, managing to coat a thick enough layer the oily water couldn’t wash off. Contrasting her sudden and former impulsive actions, her digits leisurely rubbed at your folds, taking time to feel their goal and further spreading them.
Her soft lips returned to their rightful place attacking your neck and collarbone, littering the damp skin with blooms of red and purple. The sensation lulled your brain, dizzying jolts of sweetness arriving in waves with each suck and brush over your entrance. “Doing so good for me”, she cooed.
A twitch to the thighs alerted you when her digits grew bold, not yet pushing through as they teased the slick hole. “This won’t be like last time, I promise you sweetheart. Won’t hurt this time. Are you ready for me?” Her low voice as her fingers bordered the line between teasing and the sweet vow of pleasure. “Im ready, Charlotte.”
At your command her digits eased their way in, kisses planted on your cheeks at every whine you released, slowly following the trail inside. “You’re doing so good for me darling. Being so good for me”, breathless she was making her way until the latter knuckle could snugly enter.
“Good girl, taking it so well”, another kiss to the temple as she slowly pulled back her fingers. A moan filled the steamy chamber when the repeated rhythm of her fingers pushed in and out, gradually increasing in pace. “You feel so good, sweetheart. So good for me.”
With increasing pace your hips acted on their own, aimlessly bucking into her hand, no longer caring if the staff outside could hear Charlotte spending the afternoon bringing her wife bliss based on the shared moans echoing in the steamy chamber.
Rapidly hitting that sweet part inside Charlotte took great pleasure in watching your eyes roll accompanied with the occasional twitch of your legs or the way your hands gripped the side of the tub. “Come on, you’re almost there, I can feel it. Let go for me, love.” Your only response was a high pitched moan, needing more in order to make it to the end. Clawing at her back your legs lifted themselves to tightly secure themselves around her waist, allowing you to better move against her.
“That’s it, that's a good girl. Use me. Use me to obtain your pleasure. Gods you feel so good against me,”she babbled, drunk of the feeling of you coating her fingers and the way she stole each of your moans with a hungry kiss. You could feel it, the tightening in your abdomen as Charlotte continued with her brutal pace, pushing you onto the ledge.
“Char- Charlotte! I’m close!” Another loud moan shattered the near silence of the room. “You can do it sweet girl, I got you.” Giving one last nibble on your neck her forehead pressed against yours, waiting as your walls clamped down around her.
Finally after another thrust of her long fingers your head tipped back to release a final cry. Charlotte’s pace never wavered as you spasmed around her, releasing into her hand the oiled water that grew colder by the minute.
It was only when you began catching your breath Charlotte ceased her actions, slowly pulling out her soaked fingers to give them a gentle lick. “You taste divine my love”, entering her fingers into her own mouth to devour more. Once satisfied with her fill she stepped out of the half empty tub.
Reaching for a warm kettle and a powdery smelling soap. “You did good my dear, now rest.” She poured in the warm water, feeling the sudden warmth spread around your ankles making its way towards your chest. Stepping back in she dampened the soap, pulling your limp body to rest against her bare chest. Warm soapy suds covered your body as she meticulously scrubbed off any grime and lingering mess.
Gentle hands massaged at your wrists once the skin was clean and clear of any dirty soap bubbles, still placing kisses all over your damp hair. The warm water soon fading as she pulled your body out in order to dry your hair. “You’ll look absolutely stunning tonight. Though no image of you will be greater than the one I had just witnessed.”
I got 5-6 drafts and absolutely no motivation to write, please bully me into writing them 😔
DO IT. FUCKING WRITE. WRITE MUST WRITE MUST WRITEWRITE MUST WRITE MUST WRITEWRITE MUST WRITE MUST WRITEWRITE MUST WRITE MUST WRITEWRITE MUST WRITE MUST WRITEWRITE MUST WRITE MUST WRITEWRITE MUST WRITE MUST WRITEWRITE MUST WRITE MUST WRITEWRITE MUST WRITE MUST WRITEWRITE MUST WRITE MUST WRITEWRITE MUST WRITE MUST WRITEWRITE MUST WRITE MUST WRITEWRITE MUST WRITE MUST WRITEWRITE MUST WRITE MUST WRITEWRITE MUST WRITE MUST WRITEWRITE MUST WRITE MUST WRITEWRITE MUST WRITE MUST WRITEWRITE MUST WRITE MUST WRITEWRITE MUST WRITE MUST WRITEWRITE MUST WRITE MUST WRITEWRITE MUST WRITE MUST WRITEWRITE MUST WRITE MUST WRITEWRITE MUST WRITE MUST WRITEWRITE MUST WRITE MUST WRITEWRITE MUST WRITE MUST WRITEWRITE MUST WRITE MUST WRITEWRITE MUST WRITE MUST WRITEWRITE MUST WRITE MUST WRITEWRITE MUST WRITE MUST WRITEWRITE MUST WRITE MUST WRITEWRITE MUST WRITE MUST WRITEWRITE MUST WRITE MUST WRITEWRITE MUST WRITE MUST WRITEWRITE MUST WRITE MUST WRITEWRITE MUST WRITE MUST WRITEWRITE MUST WRITE MUST WRITEWRITE MUST WRITE MUST WRITEWRITE MUST WRITE MUST WRITEWRITE MUST WRITE MUST WRITEWRITE MUST WRITE MUST WRITEWRITE MUST WRITE MUST WRITEWRITE MUST WRITE MUST WRITEWRITE MUST WRITE MUST WRITEWRITE MUST WRITE MUST WRITEWRITE MUST WRITE MUST WRITEWRITE MUST WRITE MUST WRITEWRITE MUST WRITE MUST WRITEWRITE MUST WRITE MUST WRITEWRITE MUST WRITE MUST WRITEWRITE MUST WRITE MUST WRITEWRITE MUST WRITE MUST WRITEWRITE
Oh look at that I've mysteriously finished the third regency chapter. What a strange and unrelated coincidence... Anyways, expect an update later today :D
May be my last update for awhile with classes starting soon
summary: Natalie if she was having a baby with her partner both in and out of the wilderness, having some obstacles to overcome
tags: jealously, pregnancy + birth, post partum depression/rage, mental instability, paranoia, protective Natalie, comfort & angst, non sexual nudity, mentions of violence, long list of headcannons...
a/n: might be out of operation for a bit (got my wisdom teeth out) meaning I may not write for a bit, please accept this as a worthy offering
Doesn't matter if you got pregnant right before the crash with someone like Shauna or if you managed to end up getting pregnant with Natalie's child in the wilderness
You are Natalie's partner so that automatically makes her the parent regardless of the situation, she'll be scared but so willing to help with every step
She hunts for you! Wants to make sure you and your baby have enough to keep going, even if it means sharing her rations with you
Holds your hair whenever morning sickness acts up, rubbing your feet, and kisses your belly when she can
When becoming the queen she makes sure taking care of you is apart of her duties so of course you share a bigger hut where a makeshift crib is tucked away
She gets nightmares :( Natalie fears being a bad parental figure due to her own childhood and constantly worries about your health and having a baby out there. She doesn't want what happened to her or Shauna to happen to you and the baby
Isn't until you give birth to a baby girl that survives the night she's relived kissing your forehead with tears and wanting to immediately hold the baby
She had stayed for the entirety of your labor and delivery so she's definitely not going anywhere for the next few days
You wake up at some point after your delivery to Natalie topless, only wearing some shorts with the baby on her chest because she wanted to try skin to skin bonding
She tries various ways to bond with the baby so she'll nap with the baby, constantly try playing, has full on conversations with the baby, and even tries a few lullabies when fussy at night
Natalie who gives you breaks to rest so she'll be walking around doing her queenly duties with a baby strapped to her chest
Loves that the baby has some of your features and claims she's pretty like her mommy and knows she's going to be defenseless when the baby grows up because of it
Has to break up fights between you and Shauna because she thinks it's "unfair" your baby got to live and hers didn't...
Natalie who felt guilty leaving you and your infant alone during the hunt with Shauna spiraling out of control but knew she had to get help for both your sakes
Comes back terrified to find Mari dead and you injured from Shauna trying to take the baby away
When rescued Natalie is constantly on alert keeping Shauna and the press away from you, after Shauna trying to take your baby you don't let anyone but Natalie near the baby
The hospital was hell when you'd hiss and fight doctors trying to tend to the baby, permanently scarred from past experiences
Natalie who still hasn't left your side even when the doctors claim to not seeing post partum rage this aggressive, she understands why you're so protective of the baby but still wants you to get helped
She stays in your hospital room with the baby calming you down after fighting another nurse, having nightmares, getting confused on where the baby is, and all the outbursts you may have
Once you're finally discharged Natalie swears off booze and drugs, even tries making money to support you both
You find a place that's low profile so the press or anyone from the team can't find you, plus Natalie doesn't want what's left of her family to "taint the baby"
Coming back home to discover Natalie building playsets, having money to spend of diapers and bottles now that she's not buying drugs, she even bought a little raccoon onesie for the baby <3
Natalie who is proud to see your progress, she knows the trauma and post partum had hit you hard so eventually seeing you act more gentle and calm around people is a milestone
She loves coming home to a baby that's excited when mama gets back, enjoying the snuggles she can get with the two of you
Still fears she's going to be a bad parent but cried when the baby first called you mommy and when the baby began to shakily wobble on two feet
Natalie who wouldn't trade you or the baby for anything, she knows both of you had come a long way for this to happen
summary: What could Natalie possibly see in him? With winter approaching and little to eat, desperation is lurking around every corner the longer you endure Natalie and Travis's new relationship. If only you could prove you'd be so much better than him after a midnight heart to heart
tags: jealousy, starvation, cheating, comfort & angst, degrading terms, swearing, mention of death/dying, mention of weed/drug, mention of sexual content, making out, nsfw, fingering, inexperienced reader, 3.6k words
a/n: Pass the controller Travis, mom said it's my turn with red bra Nat
Since the plane crashed the leaves had shifted from lush greens to a kaleidoscope of browns and oranges as a winter chill slowly circled the cabin. With the approaching season change the warmth wasn’t the only thing fleeting. Like the temperature, tension was decreasing everyday.
Hunger became a familiar presence in the group as animals made themselves scarce. Teammates were quick to turn upon each other, to strike and bare their teeth similar to the predators hidden in the forest beyond. The ugliest of them seeping into your own heart: jealousy.
Hanging the torn linens up on the cabin porch the distant sound of rustling grew closer until a familiar flash of bleached blonde came into view. Feeling your heartbeat quicken you gazed upon those dazzling eyes and how her lips pursed. A beautiful sight in the mist of doom and despair, though something shattered when seeing those chipped nail poshed fingers laced with his.
It wasn’t hard to notice Natalie and Travis had been sneaking off to who knows where doing what everyone was imaging. Another eye roll as Van repeated their beaver season joke, glares following them, and the way the other girls whispered when the two walked past them coming back with no sign of dinner.
In the middle of survival these two were spending their time getting way too cozy, or maybe you thought that because you wanted to be the one she dragged off into the woods. To feel her lips upon yours, what holding her would be like, or even to have her just look at you once the same way she did towards him.
You know she’d be better off with you, it made sense Mari called him hot on day three but Natalie? He had pointed a gun to her, was a sexist jerk to almost every girl here, and you heard him feed fire to the slut rumors that followed her in the middle nowhere.
Pushing down that jealousy you carelessly continued hanging up damp linens and clothes that were still wearable, though not without a glare at Travis guiding Natalie inside. What could she possibly see in him?
Since they came back with dark spots on their necks, dinner was whatever berries were left and scraps of deer. No one was happy with unsatisfied hunger lingering and the chilly breeze was whispering promises of a sealed fate. That ever present sense of dread was a raincloud hanging over the group as they prepared for bed.
No dance parties, no truth or dare, no seances, no giggles before slumber. All faith and hope had left long ago, hard to have a sleepover when death was drawing closer with each empty mouth. Despite the growl of your stomach it wasn’t the malnutrition keeping you awake, it was the envy and cracks lining your heart forcing you to remain awake in the middle of the night.
Just before your eyelids felt heavy enough the creak of the door jolted you. Against better judgement you abandoned the thin blankets, shuffling to the front door now ajar. The cool air raised the hairs on your arm, soft hums of the remaining insects could be heard in the distance, and a teary eyed faux blonde burying her head in her hands.
“Nat?” The simple call of her name caused her to stiffen, as if a dagger had been plunged into her. “What the fuck are you doing here?” At her hiss you felt your heart clench, she remained curled up on the cabin porch. There wasn’t much light, it was hard to see the moon and the fireplace was reduced to flickering embers so it was difficult to see her watery eyes.
“Natalie, why are you out here?” There was no invitation to sit with her but you did anyway, trying not to visibility wince when she scooted away. “I just needed some air, that’s all”, she mumbled.
“Really, then why don’t I believe you? Seems like you just wanna freeze your ass off out here.” No response, unless a quiet huff from her counted. “Seriously, what’s going on?”
“Just go back inside”, Natalie gruffed. With the minor breeze her hair shifted showing more of those watery eyes. You had never seen her like that before but there was something oddly beautiful in a tragic way, the hesitant tears highlighting those dark eyes of hers. “Nat we’re teammates, we’re supposed to rely on each other.”
“Yeah, like the same teammates who expect me to hunt for them just to continue calling me a goddamn slut! We’re out in the middle of fucking nowhere and they still pull this bullshit.” The dying fire light in the cabin managed to catch on her rings while her hands ran through her hair. “It’s so stupid and pathetic”, a small whine came out of her.
So that what was bothering her. Made sense considering most of the girls, including Travis, felt obligated to make comments on her vices. Back home locker room and hallway gossip was about which guy she probably sucked off, what she did when skipping class, and it didn’t help whenever she showed up to practice hungover.
Though those weren’t the reasons you had fallen head over heels for her. Sure it was nice that she was pretty but there had been depths to her that you discovered when being on the same team as her. She was surprisingly skilled on the field, she never brought anyone down despite how many people tried tarnishing her, and loyal to her team to the point she was willing to sacrifice herself in this wilderness for them. You knew she didn’t deserve any of this.
“You’re right, it is stupid. They’re stupid for saying that shit about you. You do so much for us, not fair they treat you that way”, slowly you reached for her. Wiping a small tear that had dared to roll down her cheek. It was a minor victory when she flinched yet didn’t pull away.
“I know I’m not some kind of saint but they think I’m a whore, they all do. I’ve only slept with like three guys and that makes me a slut?” It took Natalie a moment to look at your reddened cheeks to realize what she admitted.
“I wasn’t- shit. That doesn’t help my case but I swear, I’m you know”, her harsh glare softened as she looked outwards into the trees while her rambles abruptly fell short. “I do know. Mari literally lost Danny to his own cousin and I don't think Jackie can say anything regarding the whole Jeff thing.”
At your words her gaze returned to you, the tears drying up. “Yeah, they act all high and mighty frowning on my life when we’ve all done that stuff. Mari alone even. Seriously we’ve all done that so why be a bitch about it. Well, everyone but Misty probably.”
Now it was your turn to stiffen, right everyone on the time had done something like that. Except you and Misty that is. “Right yeah we’re mature enough to not be weird about it. Like you said, almost all of us have done that.”
She cocked her head at you, inching slightly closer. “You good there?” her voice is a bit hoarse like degrading velvet. “Yeah! Totally, I’m good.” Ducking your head to twiddle with the hem of the sleep shirt.
Silence lingered between the two of you, even the remaining creatures that existed beyond the cabin had either stilled or decided to give the two of you privacy. “You haven’t, have you?”
The red on your cheeks returned at her words. How she was tearing up by her lonesome minutes ago with the nasty words of your teammates swirling in her head, now smiling as she stretched out her legs asking you about that out of all things in this hellscape of reality. “I… Is it that obvious?”
She shrugged taking in your guarded body language. Natalie saw the red of your cheeks with the dying flame light leaking out of the cabin window, tense shoulders, shaky hands, and the switch up wanting to be further from her. “Obvious to me.”
She snickered at herself, and maybe at you, though when she was done she nudged your shoulder with hers. “Relax, obvious to me cause you’re the one that talks to me the most when we had practice.” She leaned back against the coarse wood of the outer cabin wall having enough of the chilly breeze blowing up the porch steps.
“I mean, I never heard you talk about anyone in the locker room, nor have I seen you sneak off with anyone at a party, plus I’ve seen the way you look when Randy tried hitting on you.” You break the nerves to groan at that. You almost forgot about Randy bloody Walsh trying (and failing) to flirt with you before giving up to have a go at Shauna who was equally unimpressed as you were. “Don’t remind me. He actually thought writing my name in the snow last winter would win me over. Why are you friends with him?”
“He has great hookups, can be a fun time when he follows through.” You had to shudder at the mere thought of what you poorly interpreted. “I beg your finest pardon, Randy Walsh is one of your three guys?”
Her jaw dropped, pushing away up from the wall to look appalled at you. “You think I screwed Randy? Fuck no! His cousin is a dealer, sometimes manages to get good weed. I punched him for looking at my bra strap when we first met!”
Afraid you were going to get similar treatment your hands flew up in surrender. “Nat!” your voice cracked. “I’m sorry I just thought because you said, well, that…” Glaring you down a few more seconds she sighed. “Didn’t mean it like that, but yeah he’s just a hookup for weed ‘n shit.”
She settled back onto her place laying back on the cold wall, staring up at the closed porch ceiling. Taking a risk you proceeded to lean near her, shoulders brushing against each other. “I mean, you seem to have shit taste in guys”, a low mumble passed between your lips risking even more.
To your surprise she managed a weak laugh despite the small grin forming. “I’ll give you that”, her voice rasping, “not like there’s much better I can do.” Something hurt when she said that, the hot waves of envy were slowly trickling in but heartbreak followed with it.
“I get Travis is the only guy here but, really him? You deserve better-” an interrupting scoff from Natalie caught you off guard. “Are you kidding me? First you try to pull me out of my little pity party and now you’re pulling this crap on me? I should have known you would be like them too.”
“I am not like them!”, the two of you are surprised no one nestled inside had awoken from their slumber due to your outcry. Running a hand in your hair while gathering your thoughts a sob threatened to choke out. She really didn’t get it, did she?
“Nat, please, I think you deserve better. I don’t understand why you let yourself be pulled down by guys like Travis. He’s a jerk! A big sexist jerk!” You didn’t even care she was glaring at you (which was kinda hot), holding this back will kill you before the starvation or incoming winter would. “That’s not fair”, a sliver of her accent shone through with her anger. “It’s true. He pointed a loaded gun at you and now you’re probably off sucking him off when you’re supposed to be hunting!”
“You don’t get to say that.” Against her best efforts tears were welling up in her eyes again, her scowl barely hanging on. “No Natalie, you deserve someone that isn’t an asshole. Someone who thinks you’re only good to push around or getting on your knees.”
Needing space before you definitely woke the others by yelling you got up, not bother dusting yourself off or making any additional comments. It was movement on instinct, desperately wanting to get away to process and cool down. Nor did you want her to get more pissed off at you.
However you felt a hand grab your wrist before you could take another step. Natalie looked up at you with watery eyes, lips pursed, and gripping you like she was scared she somehow wouldn’t see you again if you were to leave right now. “Wait, please.”
Finally letting some of those sobs out she pulled you back down. “Please, I don’t want you leaving me too.” Never in your wildest dreams would you imagine Natalie begging with you, let alone for you. “You’re right, he is some dumbass jerk but I don’t know what else to do. I just know I can’t have you turn on me like the others.”
She might as well have pointed her rifle and shot you in your soft, bleeding heart. Ugly envy turned to overwhelming guilt that shattered everything inside. You wanted nothing more than to have her pick you, not date or hookup with anymore loser guys you wished to be in order to earn her affection.
It was best to keep silent, fixing this mess you caused wouldn’t be easy though you’d let this whole cabin and hell burn for her. The closest she’s been with you was that one time she was severely hungover at practice where she tripped into you, it had been embarrassing but that paled to this moment.
Kneeling down you reached for, pulling her in and feeling angry sobs on your neck as she buried her head there. One hand going to her faux blonde hair, starting at her roots peeking through and combing through to the damaged bleached ends. Her shoulders slumped when hastily wrapping her arms around you. Your chin resting on her head as it took everything to not join her tears.
“I don’t know if this will mean anything to you but, I wouldn’t be a jerk like him, or the other two.” It was supposed to be earnest and tender yet you felt a pause in tears, only to discover a weak laugh. “Bold of you to assume Travis is one of the three.”
That made you pause, still holding her and now realizing she was basically on your lap. After minutes of her breaking down she was saying this now? “You’re telling me you have Travis haven’t?” Wiping her eyes though not deciding to move away, shaking her head. “No, we have. He just hasn’t made me uh… not important.”
This was not what you expected Natalie to admit while being held in your arms, having to control yourself so your jaw doesn’t drop. “He doesn’t even make you feel good?” you asked, causing her to groan into your neck.
“Can’t believe I’m telling you this but, basically, yeah. Seems like he doesn’t even care if I feel good or not. He just expects me to get him off then calls it a day when he gets jerked off.” She murmured into your neck, slowly tracing your upper arm.
Lifting her chin to meet your eyes, you frowned. “Look, I’m not an expert but you deserve to feel good too. There should be someone who makes an effort that you’re enjoying it.” Her gaze searched yours for what like an infinity, making you think you overstepped or said the wrong thing.
It was almost fully pitch dark out with only the inside embers crackling and soft breeze daring to make any sound when you felt her lean in. Her lips were cracked without any balm in late autumn, yet it was the best thing you had in so long.
The kiss was hesitant, her still vulnerable, trying to test the mood while your brain had completely disconnected and praying you weren’t gonna mess this up. Soft tentative kisses transformed into something needy and desperate as a low moan slipped from the lip she was biting down on.
Reality blurred between the current hellscape wilderness and heaven being delivered to you as her tongue slowly made its way in. You welcomed the intrusion, opening your mouth as her head tilted to ensure she had control. Hands wandered while entering a state of steamy bliss. Your hands entwining in her hair as hers began pulling at your shirt, snapping you out of the trance.
“Nat, wait. What about Travis?” Recovering from the sudden rush of oxygen after shoving her tongue down your throat. “What about him?”, she gasped. “What about him? He’s your stupid boyfriend or whatever he is!”
“Don’t fucking remind me! He’s not my boyfriend, he's a jerk I’ve been needing to feel better about myself or whatever pathetic reason everyone thinks I’m some trailer trash whore!” Her hands remained on your shoulders, not bothering to look directly at you.
“I would kill to be in his place but not as some temporary replacement when you feel shitty about yourself.” Still panting you gripped her harder, stuck between your desire and morals.
“Tell me this means something, Nat. That you truly want this, want me. Tell me and I promise I’ll show you just how much I care.” Desperation won out, pleading with the girl in your arms to give you a real chance. Since before everything went to hell your heart was set on her and this may very well be your only chance.
“Don’t believe anything you’ve heard about me, it actually means something to me.” A chill ran down your spine feeling her fingers brush your cheek, biting back another moan feeling her hips shift. She positioned herself above you, pushing back against the wall as her knees went on either side of your hips, looking down at you like maybe you were the answer.
She was a woman starved and needy, wanting everything she never got to have. Instead of lust it was power and a semblance of connection she hungered for, letting down all defenses. The brisk air did nothing to halt her efforts, straddling your lap she kept her gaze on you when lifting her shift that was discarded without a second thought.
You could have died a happy woman with the marvelous sight in front of you. Already rocking her hips in a slow rhythm, her red bra was nearly eye level with you. That sight was breathtaking enough where you didn’t care about the embarrassing whine that came out.
No longer holding back, rough nips littered her neck as you tasted the grime and sweat that was a result of her hunting expeditions and lack of proper hygiene. It was salty and earthy, a taste you never wanted to forget. You were no better than a kid in a candy store, with grabby hands reaching for the bra clasp while continuing to ravish her neck.
“Nuh uh, I don’t think so. There are better uses for those hands. Come on, show me how you should use them.” The disappointment was fleeting, a sadness that her cleavage will remain covered but the whispers in your ear were your command.
After losing that battle you were ready to win a war. Looking up at her your kisses traveled lower to the tops of her clothed breasts, leaving marks on the soft skin exposed. Listening to her you made use of those grabby hands, one clutching her waist as the other slowly trailed down her stomach to slip under her pants.
Her grunts at your efforts were punctuated with the rock of her hips, grinding them down on your abdomen while you discovered the wetness collecting in her panties. The tattered cotton was damp with her slick which only fueled your eagerness to please. Stuffing your hand further down her pants you found a way beneath the soiled fabric, feeling around the slick that began coating your fingers.
“You weren’t kidding about him not getting you off”, a quip on your end that released a growl from Natalie. “Shut up and touch me!” her hips bucked into your hand. Your hand gliding through her folds and face buried in her cleavage that was displayed beautifully in that red bra.
Eager to please (and being inexperienced) things were a bit clumsy. Natalie pulled on your hair, at some point her knee jabbed you, and having to take a few minutes to feel around. Never did you think Natalie Scatorccio would ever grind on your lap while soaking.
After a good while just rubbing and feeling around she got impatient, encouraging you by rutting her hips and yanking your hair harder. Slipping one finger inside her she shielded her moans using your neck, biting down on it to leave a mark.
It took another minute to figure out a pace that drew out breathy moans from her lips, clenching around your digits. “Yeah, right there baby, right there.” Her hips bucked once more as you found that spot inside her, repeatedly hitting that until her eyes rolled back.
Not long after getting the hang of it you felt her walls begin to flutter as slick dripped down your hand and some gathering on your thigh. Her quiet moans ringing in your ears as you attempted to pump your fingers faster in hopes of making her finish.
“What the hell?” The sudden intrusion forced both of you to freeze. In the doorway leading inside was Travis hearing the noises only to find your hand down his half naked girlfriend’s pants. “Shit”, Natalie cursed out.
summary: With Charlotte's proposal you have no choice but to accept her hand in marriage. How will you navigate high society and being the new countess consort?
tags: forced engagement/marriage, slight emotional manipulation, poor attempts of historical accuracy, nsfw, loss of virginity, unpleasant first time, g!p lottie, reader is afab, slowburn, 3k words
a/n: Here you go anon! And there's more yet to come >:)
Silence quickly flooded the dining room, everyone frozen as the Countess’s words. This hadn't been what you were expecting, surely you had misheard her words. Charlotte was still kneeling before you at the dining table, intently awaiting a response.
Your family had also reacted in shock, your uncle hoping a well off lord or duke would be fascinated with you but not the Countess Matthews herself down on one knee asking for your hand in marriage not even twelve hours after first meeting.
“I request for your hand in marriage, do I have it?” Charlotte asked again, her eyes softening. The wave of confusion was still washed over you, attempting to process if she was serious.
Last night you had insulted, yelled, and practically ran away from her So why was she down on one knee? “Your ladyship,” your uncle chimed in, “you wish to marry my niece?” At the sound of your uncle’s inquiry Charlotte snapped her head back up to him, dusting herself as she stood.
“Yes, sir, I know it may appear unorthodox but I desire your niece’s hand in marriage. Do I have your blessing?” Stunned at the offer, your uncle let out a chuckle, wiping at an imaginary tear. “Countess, I respect your presence in court but you marrying my niece? What would your house, your family think if you married her? Why would you wish to marry my niece?”
Before your uncle could ramble on any longer Charlotte raised her hand. “Let me stop you there. Ever since she raised her voice-” Cutting her off was the sound of your uncle slamming against the table, roaring straight at you. “She did what towards you?”
“Let me finish!” Charlotte leaned over the table, next to where you sat. Up close you saw the clench of her jaw, the way her eyes narrowed, a faint scar hidden under her bangs, and some remaining beads of sweat from when she rode under the morning sun.
“She did raise her voice at me, precisely why she’s the perfect match for me. I have yet to see any of you fools call me out on my nonsense, your niece was the only one brave enough to challenge me. Having someone to keep me in line is exactly what I need so please, may I have her hand in marriage?”
As quick as she was to silence your uncle with that classic Matthew’s sternness, she was faster to soften when asking for a blessing again. For someone who had been forced into a life of court it was jarring to see her voice wavering, the difference between her at a gala or meeting with the lords to her pleading to a man ranking much lower than her was surreal.
Reaching for her trouser pocket she pulling out a slip of paper with a sigh. “I have more than a proposal for you,” sliding the document over to the baronet. “Is this a deed of annuity?” he questioned.
“I didn’t want it to come down to this but yes. In exchange for your niece’s hand in marriage I’ll grant you a handsome allowance. As my wife I’ll grant her the latest fashion trends, her choice of estate to live in, and she’ll be well cared for.”
Seeing the number on the document was enough to make the men in your family have a second heart attack, they didn’t expect an allowance over triple their current assets. “I grant you my full blessing for her hand in marriage!”
That was the final blow, you hadn’t managed a single word during the entirety of that conversation and suddenly you were now engaged. An answer was given for you watching your fate be sealed with the baronet signing the deed, legally binding you to Charlotte now. “Don’t I get a say in all this?” you quietly looked over at them.
Your uncle belted out another chuckle as Charlotte’s grin dropped. “My dear niece, this is a union with the Countess Matthews we’re talking about! Another proposal this attractive won’t come to our house again.” It was too late anyways, you saw the signature on the deed and Charlotte, of course, was already revealing a ring.
“My betrothed, I know this isn’t how you imagined this going but I promise you to do everything in my power to provide for you”, Charlotte lowered her voice, reaching to push a strand of hair behind only to be met with you pulling away. She sighed acknowledging your resistance yet like last night she stayed persistent.
Getting down on one knee again she slipped the opulent ring onto your finger. A shining diamond surrounded by smaller rubies on woven like gold bands now resting on your finger, the cold metal contrasting her warm lips lingering on your knuckles. “I pray that soon enough I can prove to you the desire I feel is genuine, rocky start and all I’ve already grown smitten, for you have captured my heart.”
Days after your sudden engagement life became a blur, not having much say in the wedding preparation. If you didn’t have a choice in your betrothal why would you have any now? Besides, Charlotte had it all planned out.
Within the week your uncle had already spent a good amount of this month’s allowance sprucing up the townhouse and making small contributions to the wedding that made his newfound wealth possible.
Met with a frown, the ribbons of the corset grew tighter as some poor maid had been tasked with dressing you for the engagement celebration. You had yet to see the dress itself, though the Countess claimed she had a dress being shipped from Paris. Claiming her bride to be deserved only the most luxurious designs on their special day.
Being the first one in the season to be engaged was the talk of the town, not to mention bachelorette Countess Charlotte Matthews finally settling down after years of dodging swooning ladies. Though not a single soul could figure out why she immediately decided on some obnoxious baronet’s niece.
As eager Charlotte had been to show off her future bride, she surprisingly let your uncle be the ball’s host, though he seemed more interested in flaunting new wealth and relations with house Matthews. The once dull and barren entertainment room became a proper ballroom for the first time. Albeit rather small garlands were hung, lively music played, and new furniture brought the room together; earning some new respect for your uncle.
With funds going towards the wedding and residence you’d have to wear that same dusty pink gown you wore when first meeting Charlotte. Even with new wealth coming from the allowance your family still had lengths to go to no longer be the poorest house.
Looking in the mirror that pale rose fabric nearly looked white with the grey trim in the evening light, an unfortunate resemblance to a mousy bride. You were a small sight standing next to your beaming uncle welcoming party goers who were interested in the future Countess consort, speculating what made Charlotte select you in a sea of marriage candidates.
Speaking of the Countess, she had to arrive fashionably late in order to make her grand appearance. Music and chatter dipping the second she strided into the ballroom, just as confident when she proposed. Donning an actual gown for once she made her way towards you once coming into her view.
Every fiber of your being wanted to run as she approached with her wide grin. “My venust darling, how delightful it is to have you in my sights again”, her hand took yours, kissing the knuckle as she leaned down.
It might as well have been a searing brand she placed there, making it difficult not to flinch in a crowded ballroom where all eyes were on you. Watching every move, the forced smiles, the way Countess Matthews doted on you so sickeningly sweet. You couldn’t reach any wine to numb the sensation, the entire night being passed between uncle and fiancee, admiring what you stood for instead of who you were.
You didn’t even know who you were. A village girl plucked at random by a strange uncle riddled with false promises, gone was the girl who loved her ocean and mountains, replaced with some vessel whispers labeled as a consort and bride.
The laughter of a lady felt excessively loud, the clinking of glasses piercing your mind, and the horde of plastered smiles in every direction. With your mind swirling it took longer to realize Charlotte snaked her hand around your waist, “care to dance with me, my darling?”
Darling. The main way she’s referred to you since the contract had been signed, since you officially became her newest asset. She was the Countess Matthews whose word became social law and whose money could buy her anything. It was the same currency but everyone agreed a shilling from a Matthews was far more valuable, meant you were on their radar.
She was the woman no one could resist, you gave in due to the sparkling gem wrapped around your finger. The only choice available was letting her guide you to the center of the ballroom as the music shifted, violins redirecting the melody to something slower than the previous lively tune.
It had been days since you had last seen her, forgetting how she towered over you. Her onyx dress a drastic difference from your plainer one. The jewels on a single bracelet outshone the elegant parure the other ladies adorned. She began to guide you with one hand holding yours while the other rested on your waist, both of your dresses twirling with practiced movement.
“I wanted our first dance to be at the wedding but I can’t resist you, sweetheart.” Her tone had been quiet, eyes sparkling under the chandelier above. Never did her eyes stray away from your face, holding you tightly against her as she moved in tune with the melody.
“Perhaps it is best we save some gestures for the wedding, Countess Matthews”, a small plea hoping you could delay some of her affections. “Please, call me Charlotte, I am your betrothed after all.”
Charlotte, not the Countess Matthews that was appropriate for this setting. She may be rich enough to do what she pleases but you weren’t, titles had to be used here. You believed she had to be delusional, that is was the only reason to explain all of this. Why she sought you out, her proposal, and the fact she was acting as if this was a grand fairytale love story instead of a transaction.
“Countess,” you repeated, “we are in the public’s eye. Nor are we properly wed so forgive me for trying to maintain decorum.” At your response she merely sighed. “Very well then, after the wedding you may call me Charlotte.” As the music faded she slid her other hand to your back, slowly dipping you low to the polished pine floor.
The wedding itself was held in a grand chapel, one you had a feeling the Matthews had some sort of influence over rather it was assistance with bookkeeping or donations. Fresh flowers were hung at every corner, pews wrapped in silk, and a chandelier brought in just for the occasion.
While guests trailed in, you took in the perfectly tailored dress that still managed to suffocate you. The bodice skillfully crafted with delicate beading, embroidered tulle layers, a matching veil reaching your waist, orange blossoms woven into the styled hair, and a string of pearls choking you.
The strum of instruments was your queue to make your way to the aisle, sealing the deal. It was a miracle the floral bouquet in your shaky hands hadn’t wilted or tore them, a vice like grip as the altar slowly came into view.
Countess Matthews stood there, her knees faltering a brief moment upon seeing you. In her finest silks and jewels she froze, watching every step you took towards her having to mentally inform herself this was no dream.
Your uncle and cousin sat up the front, being the only family attending your wedding, no tears in their eyes as they waited for confirmation that their end of the bargain will be fulfilled. Once stepping onto the altar, silence seized the room. The priest took his time with the ceremony, reading long scriptures until it came down to the final part.
“Countess Charlotte Matthews, do you take this woman to be your lawfully wedded wife?” There was no hesitation from her, grabbing your hands to pull to her chest. “I do, I absolutely do.”
The final blow came when the priest turned to you, “and do you take the Countess Charlotte Matthews to be your wife?” The deafening silence returned once more, swarming you intensely, feeling the weight of it in your throat. You turned to your uncle watching you like a hawk to ensure his allowance, the whole high court waiting with baited breath, then back to Charlotte still holding your hand. Her big brown eyes swallowing you whole.
“I do.”
Tall windows and various paintings appeared every few feet in the labyrinth that was Charlotte’s estate, her main estate that is. Your heels clicked on the dark wooden floors as the fading rays of sun followed your meek shadow as the Countess guided you through the infinite twists and turns. The drawing room alone rivaled your uncle’s shabby townhouse.
“Come now, my darling, we have urgent matters to attend to”, her voice much softer now. Earlier Charlotte had been louder and filled with pride at the celebration of your new union, though it was possible the thought of a wedding night made her anxious as well.
The room she brought you in was spacious as it was filled with every amenity one could need or want. The cream vanity with real silver accessories, a side room already equipped with a copper tub, plush lounge sofas, curtains hanging from the ceiling to conceal the bed, and an exquisite view of the estate garden from the balcony.
Locking the door behind her Charlotte advanced to the bed, standing before it, unusually quiet. “I suppose this is it?” you murmured. After receiving a nod in response you slowly made your way to the bed.
You weren’t exactly sure what to expect but you understood marital duties were to be performed. Not much discussion about what it entailed found its way to you, though you had a feeling Charlotte knew what to do.
Since the day you met you didn’t think you’d see her this quiet, almost small looking but she reached out to the strap of your gown, rubbing the fabric between her thumb and fore finger. “May I?”
May she what? You didn’t fully know what but your role as bride was colliding with that of a wife, knowing this had to be done. Once she got confirmation she kissed your cheek, gradually lowering the gown straps, eventually pulling the delicate material down your hips.
Now in a corset and undergarments she guided you onto the bed, your back laying on the soft sheets as she undressed herself. Leaving a pile of clothes in her path Charlotte leaned over you, seeing the tight fabric straining against her chest.
Her dark hair was a curtain surrounding the two of you, shielding the view of her placing kisses around your jaw. Not fully undressed but enough to feel her warm skin brushing yours and soon enough a feeling of hardness pressing into your thigh.
“How is this, darling?” Charlotte croaked out between placing kisses on your neck and shoulder. The sensation was unfamiliar, the nerves unyielding though it wasn’t the most unpleasant feeling. “Continue, we have a wedding night to finish”.
At some point all clothes came off, a nude Charlotte above you stroking your hair as she positioned herself. “This next part may hurt and I apologize for it, though I believe you can handle it. I’ll be gentle, my love.”
Before you could respond to her you felt movement, her length starting to press into you. Her hand glided into yours on top of a nearby pillow, lowering herself further. She wasn’t wrong about the feeling, the pain making itself present the further she pressed, letting her know through a quiet series of grunts.
“You’re doing well, you’re taking this so well. It’ll be over soon, I promise.” Her lips reassuring you with each kiss she peppered down your body. She couldn’t help the dull pain growing yet she tried to provide comfort.
Her thrusts were slow, careful, afraid to cause more harm than what was expected. Doing her best to quell that ache she left dark marks along the side of your neck, thumb rubbing your wrist, and shifting tactics to take a nipple into her mouth.
The dual sensations made your brain fuzzy, looking down at her head bobbing around your exposed breast as she moaned. Soon enough her thrusts quickened causing a whine to escape your lips.
Releasing your nipple she rested her forehead on yours. “We’re almost done, my love. I swear we’re almost done.” Her hips grew frantic, her cheeks flushed, and anxiety lingering in her expression. Seconds later you felt a release from her, warmth spreading where the ache was that abruptly left you feeling empty when she removed her length.
“There, all done now. I’ll return back to my chambers now,” she planted a kiss on your forehead. Untangling herself from above your body she reached for her discarded clothes, carelessly redressing herself in a slow manner.
When turning to the door she paused, looking guiltily at you. “I hope tonight wasn’t too painful or unbearable, this wasn’t pleasant for me as well. Please send word if you need anything?” Covered only in sheets you lifted your head in her direction, giving her a curt nod.
“Right, goodnight my darling” her eyes lowered. Seconds later she was gone, leaving you alone to your own devices in such a large room. A taste of what the rest of your life will look like.
summary: While navigating your new life in court as a low house you stumble upon Countess Matthews at a gala without realizing her status at first, causing her to keep her identity secret
tags: probably not fully historical accurate, Lottie is an entitled brat, reader is kinda a brat too, no smut just poor attempts of courting, minor drinking mentioned, sorta angsty?, 2.7k words
a/n: hello there, this is my first fic and first time posting so pardon me if I'm still learning stuff! had this idea in my head and randomly decided to write it. I would like to do another part to continue the fic but I doubt this will get much traction lol (basically I'm trying to convince myself creative writing in highschool wasn't useless and I can still write while in college)
The summer breeze was your savior, the coolness of it against your neck relieved the storm currently swirling in your mind. Downstairs the clinking of glasses and endless chatter that was nothing but frivolous gossip made the idea of bashing your head into the ivy covered wall seem appealing. Either that or the corset holding you in a death grip will make you faint before you can act upon that thought.
This wasn’t where you thought you’d be. A manor belonging to who knows which rich snob with a gala below in full swing. The glow of it and silhouettes looked daunting instead of a fairytale everyone made high society out to be. You weren’t supposed to be here, that was the only thing you were certain about.
Mere months ago some long lost uncle you never met took you under his wing, claiming he finally became wealthy enough to join the ranks. A measly minor baronet who gambled with investing in trade, whom no one in court took seriously, but still acquired a title of sorts. With no daughters of his own he turned to you. Promising you an education and a life away from your village, just to turn you into a bargaining chip. To secure more influence he was set on finding you a suitor.
Why you were hiding brooding on a dark balcony hoping time could freeze, though no amount of time could fully prepare you for this life. To make matters worse footsteps were approaching, likely the owner of this lavish manor or maid that’ll direct you back to the social bloodbath that was downstairs. Before you could gather your dress skirts and flee a figure was already crossing the open double doors. In the moonlight revealed long dark hair, silken shirt, and quite possibly the tallest woman you’ve seen.
“I’m assuming you’re here for the same reason as me?” The woman approached, taking a place next to you, a charming smile on her lips, yet not fully containing the cockiness some of the noblemen possessed. “Depends, are you seeking a moment of peace as well?” You answered back. She dressed slightly like the men downstairs yet still laced with feminine elements. Her silken shirt was a bit more lower cut compared to some of the court men, a hint of rouge dusting her cheeks, and her trousers leading to heeled leather boots.
“Perhasps…” Her smile grew ever so slightly before turning her head away to over the balcony railing. That same summer breeze filled the silence for a few minutes, she tilted her head towards you. “Although, I wouldn’t mind if my peace were to be disrupted.” Nevermind, she dressed and acted like them too since she was shamelessly raking over your appearance. Your dusty pink dress was loose in some areas while the grey ribbon and frills did nothing but pinch at your skin, obvious it was bought hastily if you looked at it too long.
“You must hail from the new house I heard about. The baronet is trying much too hard downstairs, clear that his new assets couldn’t afford him any proper etiquette.” Of course she had seen your uncle and knew about your new house. Most of the houses were as old as the kingdom itself or had ties to wealth almost as old, while the ink to the deed of your uncle’s townhouse had barely dried. Also didn’t help that the drab pink and grey were colors no other house had wanted to claim, leaving it as your family’s only choice of house colors.
Despite the months of tutoring that was forced upon you it was difficult to remember which lord and duke was which. Seeing only the cream top and black trousers you still had no idea who this mysterious attractive stranger was. “Pardon the informality, ah… who might you be?” To your surprise you were met with a grin, “should I be offended that I'm not as recognizable or is this my chance to impress you before the court gossip finds you in regards to myself?”
The longer you spoke with this woman the more entitled she seemed. An urge to smack that smug grin off her appeared but unfortunately that was against your etiquette tutoring, meaning you’ll have to stand there enduring it all. The woman kept her grin as she leaned closer, giving you a better view of her doe like eyes. Big and beautiful under the moonlit hue, too bad she was starting to become a little insufferable.
“And where would be the fun in that? Maybe once I’d prefer my status to be left out of the conversation, isn’t that why we’re both here?” A sigh left your lips, at this point it was a troll asking more than a riddle three instead of some attractive stranger. “As a critic of my flashy uncle, I don’t see how you’re an improvement waving around whatever title you possess despite claiming to sweep it under the rug for this discussion. Unchaperoned, mind you.”
Either this woman had another level of ego you had yet observed in court or maybe she was smooth inside her head but her grin held firm. “Been a long while since anyone was that bold with me, I’m honestly flattered. Especially from such an exquisite beauty.” You felt some heat flood your cheeks but annoyance lingered from her obnoxious attempts.
Still disgruntled that your alone time was interrupted, at least for a moment the high stakes of high society dulled when this woman welcomed the informality. Though perhaps some properness was needed before things got out of hand. “For someone who’s been asking many questions, you do not seem to care in answering them”, you shot back.
“You would be correct”, the woman nodded, “it must appear unfair to a lady such as yourself to deliberately be neglected such information.” She slowly leaned off the balcony railing, lowering herself to grab your hand to no longer tower over you. Pressing her lips to the back of your hand she looked up at you. “I would be Charlotte, Countess Charlotte Matthews.”
It was at that moment you knew you messed up, horror replacing your expression as she still held your hand. This was the countess and a lady such as yourself had been nothing but borderline dismissive of her, believing she was another stuck up duchess or lord. Not one of the most wealthy and influential houses outside of the royal family. If word got out not only had you treated her in such a casual manner on top of the fact you were currently unchaperoned with her your uncle might as well feed you to the wolves.
“Countess Matthews? Why… I thank you for this but I best be returning to my uncle now.” A smile was plastered on your lips yet the panic gilding through them was painfully present. However an attempt to flee was futile, as you turned to rush out Charlotte continued to hold your hand. “Will you not keep me company any longer? Your uncle had mentioned-”, still in the midst of your panic you cut her off with a jerk of your hand. “Another time, Countess, my uncle will grow worried with my lingering absence.” A weak and vague excuse yet one that got you out of her reach.
The loss of contact caused her expression to falter for the first time since this encounter. The smugness drained out, replacing it with a baffled look while those doe eyes searched for something in yours with slumped shoulders. Chatter and laughter could be heard below as you stepped back to straighten your gown. “How quickly will he notice your absence? If it’s being unchaperoned that you're worried about, I assure you that I can be a gentlewoman.”
Even when no longer having contact she kept herself leaning towards your height. It makes you still, especially when she pairs it with courting regulations. Before you could respond Charlotte steps back to clear her throat. “What about a proper introduction this time? Everything you’d want to know about my status, my assets, my intentions… your uncle seemed interested in my family’s trade routes. I can promise you the finest silks from the east.”
Charlotte Matthews was one of the most powerful and influential members of high society, definitely the wealthiest one in any room. Nearly all eligible bachelorettes were trying to win her favor in hopes of securing an engagement that could provide a life of comfort and influence to whoever could successfully sell off one of their maidens. Yet here she was offering you luxury and a glimpse inside the renowned, though ostentatious, Matthews family.
“It’s not that,” you struggle to stammer out. “It’s quite private and dark here. Wouldn’t want anyone to have unsavory thoughts if we’re caught. I do believe it’s time to return to my uncle.” You hoped this time she’ll take the hint, that you wanted nowhere near someone so full of herself. Though apparently the word no wasn’t something the affluent court goers weren’t informed of. “As stated earlier I’ll make no such hasty advances, I do try to be a gentlewoman. Perhaps I could give you a tour of the grounds? We’ll be in view of everyone so no would suspect any-”
“Enough!” At first you didn’t believe that slipped out of your lips, the same ones that were painted rosy to politely nod at whoever you were told had a large enough inventory or impressive trade negotiations, however you didn’t stop there. “This level of vanity may be acceptable for your house but I will not tolerate some conceitful miscreant such as yourself!”
It kept coming out, you hadn’t been given any wine nor mead, the etiquette lessons were supposed to acclimatize you to court life yet her persistence was the straw to break the camel’s back. “You are no gentleman if you feel entitled to corner me or any lady in this fashion. I do not find you charming, I am repulsed by your disgusting amount of wealth, and you don’t have my reputation in mind by trapping me here with no chaperone present. I shall be returning to my uncle before he questions my whereabouts”.
It didn’t sink in what you had done until you saw her stiffen, mouth agape with widened eyes. Neither of you moved for what felt like an eternity. Eventually Charlotte realized she had no choice but to accept defeat, pushing herself back to the railing no longer meeting your gaze . “My apologies, you are right. We wouldn't want to worry the baronet, it’s time to end matters here.”
She looked stunned, not fully believing a woman of her status could be denied. Regret flashed over you but made no effort to show empathy or remorse for your actions, simply nodding your head at her as she willingly let you go. Scurrying back to the growing noise of music and chatter the dread settled back in.
Charlotte had spoken with your uncle briefly prior to that moment on the balcony, that was made clear earlier so you could only hope word about your prior interaction won’t find its way to any prying ears. Including your uncle, the man who believed you will be the key to his success if he can find you a decent enough match to secure him more power. If word got out he wouldn’t send you home outside the kingdom, no, that would be exactly what you’d want. If he were to find out he’ll find a way to ensure life in the smoggy metropolis.
Upon traversing back to the ballroom below the man himself was currently in the middle of a conversation with two stuffy looking lords while nursing a drink. Didn’t have to worry about anyone noticing your missing presence by the looks of it, though it was for the best you fled the upstairs before a certain countless decided petition for your family’s exile.
The rest of the night was a soul sucking blur with the gilded discourse of courtly matters, gawking ladies tripping over themselves over possible suitors, not to mention your uncle droning on about his new ‘lavish assets’ he and his son will enjoy. Luck faintly smiled upon you since Charlotte had yet to make another appearance in the ballroom, no sign of her dark hair or those doe eyes. Not even a surprise appearance as you left the manor with your uncle and cousin into the carriage. An uneventful ride that allowed you to replay tonight’s events with the repetitive clackering of the horse’s hooves against the road until the small townhouse tucked between the others came into view.
In the morning last night played in your head in a dream like haze instead of some cosmic joke the universe thought would be humorous. How the moonlight caught her chocolatey deer like eyes, the softness of her lips when pressed against your hand, and despite the velvety tone her arrogance had shone through. Those fleeting moments ringing in your head as you sit at the dining table stirring your tea with untouched breakfast growing cold. Your uncle not noticing the way the spoon constantly clanked against the cup or how you bore into it like the sugar and milk swirling inside of it could give you answers as to why the countess had been eager to keep you on the balcony, until you harshly barked at her.
The dining room was fairly quiet as the early rays of morning leaked through the grand windows with the scatter of maids and off hand comments your uncle occasionally made. You didn’t raise your head when the doorman made his way to your uncle, keeping his voice low. Not a single thought about it as you imagined how it’ll feel to be shunned at galas, not if much will change given how new and unliked your house was.
What finally made your head snap up was the booming echo of the double doors being flung open. In that moment you had a feeling your fate was sealed when familiar dark wavy hair came into view. Dressed borderline scandalous in riding leathers and a loose unbuttoned shirt came in the Countess Matthews, immediately catching the attention of your uncle and cousin, alarmed that one the most influential members of court came to your dining room unannounced before the sun could fully rise.
“Your ladyship? Ah yes, Countess Matthews, a delightful surprise for you to stop by, and so early might I add.” Charlotte continued her stride towards the dining table while your uncle struggled to string together a few coherent sentences, “what do we owe the pleasure of your visit?”
In your chest your heart began frantically beating, fearing the worse was about to come in exposing last night’s behavior that would surely get you beheaded. She stood in front of the table where you were sitting, making eye contact with your uncle as she discarded her coat to a nearby maid. “I had the opportunity to meet with your niece last night, sir.”
“Did you now?” You felt your uncle’s gaze land shift to you cocking his brow, finally putting two and two about your disappearance last night. This was the beginning of the end, you felt it, between Charlotte’s inscrutable expression and your uncle gripping the table, this was not looking good.
You also had a feeling you knew why Charlotte was here, you were the lowest of the low houses yet had the nerve to insult the most affluent person in the ballroom. Honestly, it was foolish to think she’d let it go and no consequences would follow.
“Yes, sir, we had a peculiar discussion last night. And I have some choice words I’d like to share with your niece regarding how she spoke with me.” Her eyes narrowed at you as she hovered above you, even from a few feet away you felt her looming presence.
Your uncle was about to speak but was cut off by Charlotte abruptly taking long, quick strides towards where you were sitting. All you could think of was this being it, you finally pissed off the wrong court member and she was going to have you beheaded or jailed for life because you couldn’t keep your mouth shut.
Her gaze was serious as she knelt down to where you were sitting, ready to receive whatever punishment she was about to bestow after exposing the reality of last night. Expression unreadable as she lowered her head letting out a quiet sigh. When her gaze returned to you something hopeful glinted in her eyes.
