Warnings: Chuuya typical swearing, Some Spiciness at the end but nothing explicit
A/N: this took way too long to write but here we go! The second part will be all the fun smut that didn’t make it into this chapter, so if you’re not one for NSFW content, this chapter is the safer one and can be read on its own.
“So Boring.” Dazai whined as he reclined back against the office couch, hands cupped over a set of large black headphones on either ear, listening to what the rest of his coworkers couldn’t even guess.
“If you’re so bored, Dazai,” Kunikida shouted from across the room at his desk. “Then maybe you should consider actually getting some work done instead of lounging around like a lazy lout!”
Dazai ignored him, favoring more to focus on what he was listening to. As far as anyone was concerned, he was probably listening to music, or something of the sort, but in truth, the sounds berating Dazai’s ear drums right now were far less entertaining than a random radio station. Port Mafia meetings were SO BORING! Dazai didn’t miss them, they dragged on and on through sister factions, supply chains and intel gathering, all things that Dazai didn’t particularly care about.
Then why, you may ask, had Dazai placed a wire tap in the main meeting room of the Port Mafia? Well that was easy, because you see, a certain firey red head was present during this meeting, as was required of all Port Mafia executives, and Dazai may or may not have planned a little surprise for his favorite slug, and he was desperate to hear his reaction.
“And what of the branch in Poland?” Mori’s voice rang through Dazai headphones.
“Production is progressing as planned, sir.” Higuchi responded. “By next week I expect we’ll be ahead of schedule.”
Well that wouldn’t do, Dazai would have to find a reason to schedule a trip to Poland. Priorities for later though, it was about time for his little surprise to show up.
“Very good, and what about—“ Mori’s voice cut off at the sound of a knock at the door, the indicator of fun to come. The sound of the door opening rang through the headphones as foot steps entered the room.
“Sorry for the interruption sir,” An unfamiliar voice squeaked, they must be new. “But I have a delivery for Executive Nakahara.”
Bingo.
“From who?” Chuuya’s voice finally came over the headphones, Dazai was wondering when he’d finally speak.
“I’m unsure, sir. The delivery was anonymous, it requires your signature though.” Dazai recognized the vague sounds of a pen scratching on paper, indicative of Chuuya accepting the delivery. “Very good sir, I’ll bring it right in.”
Three… two… one… Dazai was giddy in his seat.
“The hell is this?!” Chuuya exclaimed, almost loud enough to make Dazai have to pull the headphones from his ears. He struggled to suppress this giggles at chuuya’s response, it was exactly what he was hoping for.
Kouyou’s laughter soon filled the space. “Well, well it seems our little Chuuya has quite the secret admirer.” She said between giggles.
Dazai only wished he’d had a video feed too, oh to see Chuuya’s face at what was surely sitting in front of him right now. A bouquet of roses, the brightest red Dazai could find. Stage one of his game, his masterful plan to get all of his favorite reactions out of his tiny slug.
“My, my, Chuuya, it seems you’ve had quite the effect on someone. Is there a note?” Mori asked, also sounding equally as amused.
Dazai couldn’t risk leaving a note. Knowing Chuuya he’d recognize Dazai’s cadence or handwriting anywhere, and would be able to piece it together that the flowers were from him, and that would end the game far too soon.
Getting Chuuya angry was one thing, it was fun but the effects faded quickly, far too quickly for Dazai’s liking, but get him flustered and that could last hours, not to mention a few ulterior motives Dazai may have had for choosing that specific gift, far more entertaining on a boring Monday morning.
He heard Chuuya sputter out a few incoherent sounds before he finally choked out. “No, nothing, just flowers.” He could imagine the look on Chuuya’s face so well, his cheeks would be the perfect shade of red, probably enough to match the roses, his blue ocean eyes blown out wide. His back would be perfectly straight as he tried to process what was in front of him, possibly his shoulders hiked up to his ears. Dazai regretted not planting a camera.
***********
Hacking into Chuuya’s security system was easy enough, no matter how many times he changed the password, his dog would always be predictable. So it was no problem stalling his security cameras just long enough for Dazai to make his way up to Chuuya’s apartment, just long enough to install a few audio taps, and just long enough to leave another bouquet of flowers, this time an attractive bunch of red camellias.
Dazai sat relaxed in his dorm, headphones pressed tightly to his ears as he waited for the tell tale signs of Chuuya arriving home. With what Dazai pulled the day before, with those roses, he expected Chuuya’a reaction to this gift to be just as good.
He didn’t have to wait long. Soon enough he heard the sound of footsteps approaching the door, a heavy sigh indicating a long day at work and probably a desire for bed. The footsteps only got heavier and heavier as Dazai imagined Chuuya finally seeing what lay in front of his entry way.
“What the fuck?” Chuuya sounded exasperated. Dazai could practically see his reaction, confused but intrigued look on his cute face, eyebrows probably pushed together like they always did when he was thinking about something too hard. He heard the sound of Chuuya picking the bouquet up, the crinkle of plastic in his hands. He imagined he was searching for a note, one that once again would not be there. “For fuck’s sake, leave a damned note.”
“But that would ruin the game, mon slug.” Dazai said only to himself. Chuuya would recognize his handwriting immediately, and it was far to early to end the game yet, after all, Dazai was only just beginning, he still had another piece of his plan.
*********
Chuuya was startled at the announcement he had a delivery. A delivery of what? He hadn’t ordered anything, and certainly not anything that would be delivered right in the middle of a meeting.
“From who?” He asked the delivery boy, who nearly trembled when addressing the executive directly.
“I’m unsure, sir,” He choked out. “The delivery was anonymous, it requires your signature though.” the boy’s hands shook as he handed Chuuya a clip board and a pen, which he readily signed his name on before the boy disappeared through the door once again, only to re-emerge with the largest bouquet of red roses Chuuya had ever seen in his life.
“The hell is this?!” He exclaimed as the bouquet was handed to him, his eyes wide at the unexpected gift.
“Well, well, it seems our little Chuuya has quite the secret admirer.” Kouyou teased, to which Chuuya sent her a glare that had she been anyone else, would have shut them up and possibly even encouraged them to leave, but this was Kouyou, and she only giggled harder at his flustered look.
The roses were beautiful, each one perfectly shaped, the brightest red Chuuya had ever seen, the petals were silky and lush, it was clear a lot of care had gone into crafting the bouquet.
“My, my, Chuuya, it seems you’ve had quite the effect on someone. Is there a note?” Chuuya was already searching for a slip of paper, anything to indicate who the flowers were from. Who the hell sends flowers and doesn’t say who they are, doesn’t even attach a little note like “From your secret admirer” or some shit like that. It was just flowers, no note, no indication of the sender, and Chuuya’s face was far too hot for his liking, and it remained that way for the rest of the meeting.
Flowers during the middle of a meeting was one thing, but somehow dodging his security cameras to leave yet another bouquet of flowers at his door was something else entirely. The bouquet of red camellias stared at him from the floor just before his door, like they were laughing at him. They mocked him as he plucked them from their resting place.
“What the fuck?” Chuuya hissed. “At least leave a note or something.” He did like camellias though, they weren’t his favorite flower, but they were beautiful, and the red ones were particularly difficult to get, especially in Japan. Whoever this mystery person was, was really putting in the work, Chuuya was honestly pretty impressed.
********
Chuuya was already expecting the next gift; two bouquets in a row? That ment a third was on its way. However, it had been a week and there had been nothing. He’d spend the better part of the last seven days obsessing over one) who would be brave enough to try and send such a direct message to a Port Mafia executive and two) when was it going to happen next.
Well seven days after the initial bouquet of roses, Chuuya got the answer to one of those questions, and this by far was the most unexpected gift of them all.
He was just starting to lose hope, maybe two was the magic number, and his secret admirer was done, which despite the obvious peace and quiet that would eventually bring, also made Chuuya a little disappointed, the flowers were beautiful and he’d be lying if he said he didn’t have a soft spot for them and the effort someone was putting in to get them to him. He was just coming to terms with this new revelation when he walked into his office that morning, coat held by one hand over his shoulder and a tired yawn escaping his lips as he crossed the threshold of his doorway, it was far too early and he’d hardly slept the night before.
However, when he spotted what was so delicately placed on his desk after he walked in, he certainly was awake now. It wasn’t a bouquet, instead it was a single flower, a beautiful vibrant red Tulip, just one, laid delicately across his desk, a matching red bow tied around the stem. Chuuya nearly dropped his jacket at the sight, just staring at the flower for what felt like hours.
Having a bouquet delivered to his work and leaving another bouquet at his door was one thing, but breaking into his office, without being caught on either cameras or by security, in the office building of the most dangerous organization in Yokohama, just to leave one singular flower, that was another thing entirely. It was at that point Chuuya began to have suspicions, maybe this secret admirer wasn’t as secret as he thought.
A plan of his own began to form as Chuuya sat at his desk, twirling the single tulip between his fingers. If this was who he thought it was, and he was pretty certain he was right, then there was certainly an end goal to be reached, a message to be delivered, if only he could communicate through actual words instead of bombarding Chuuya was flowers, not that Chuuya minded them, though he’d never confess that out loud.
Chuuya spent a good hour and a half of that morning researching flowers and their meanings. Dazai wasn’t one to pick a flower just because it was pretty, he never did anything that wasn’t deliberate. Red roses - love and passion, red camellias - romance, and red tulips - lust. Flowers certainly wasn’t the way Chuuya was expecting Dazai to say it, but he had to commend his creativity.
********
Dazai would admit, perhaps the tulip left in Chuuya’s office was a little on the nose, certainly his favorite mafioso would begin to suspect him now, but would he be able to connect the dots behind Dazai’s reasoning? Being familiar with Chuuya’s critical thinking skills, Dazai wasn’t very hopeful. He sighed as he reclined back in his seat, a pile of paperwork still left sitting untouched on his desk.
“Everything okay, Dazai?” Atsushi’s voice broke through Dazai’s thoughts. He turned to look at the boy, who sat beside him, a mildly concerned, mildly curious look on his young face. Dazai gave a small smile.
“Just waiting to see how a plan turned out.”
“What plan?” The boy tiger inquired.
“Getting a message across to someone who’s ability to grasp hints is severely impaired.” At his words there was a knock on the agency’s door, to which Naomi got up to answer.
“I have a delivery for a mister… Dazai Osamu.”
“For me?” Dazai questioned as the delivery boy approached him.
“Yes sir, if you could please sign here.” The boy said before handing Dazai a clipboard and a pen. He signed, the delivery boy taking the clipboard back and exchanging it with a long thin box, sure enough it was addressed to Dazai.
“What is it?” Atsushi asked, leaning over Dazai’s shoulder to peak at the gift.
“Maybe someone’s been kind enough to send a bomb and finally kill me.” Dazai only jested. He saw Atsushi shy away only slightly, but it was clear he had the entire rooms attention. Without another word he popped the seal on the box, tilting the parcel over to slide out a long wooden case. The wood was fine, a brilliant cherry wood, varnished beautifully and clearly expensive. There were no engravings or anything to indicate who the case was from. The case was held shut by a single clasp, which Dazai easily popped open, opening the wooden box to reveal a single beautiful red rose, the stem was held in a delicate satin bed, the petals carefully placed in the box to ensure they wouldn’t be crushed with the case’s closure.
“It’s beautiful.” Atsushi described in awe.
“Who the hell would send you something like this?” Kunikida inquired, the entirety of the office echoing the same question, albeit silently.
Tied to the stem of the rose was a delicate ribbon, and tied to the end of the ribbon was a single note, and upon reading it, Dazai could only smile.
It seems someone has discovered the game.
***********
Chuuya was exhausted, he’d spent the day putting out fire after fire, first there was an issue with a supply chain at the other side of town that he had to sort out, which resulted in more murder than he was planning on today, one of their warehouses on the East side of town had been broken into and of course he had to deal with that, and then as icing on the cake he arrived back at the office only to find a mountain of paperwork on his desk, which he got through, albeit begrudgingly. He was determined to throw his phone out the window if it rang one more time today.
The click of his door unlocking was a welcome sound, he was beyond ready for a shower and bed. His apartment was dark as he walked in, just as he’d left it, although something felt off.
Turning on his light, chuuya was greeted with a surprising sight. A fresh vase of flowers perched perfectly on his bar, the flowers a combination of red roses, camellias and tulips, a delicate satin bow wrapped around the glass neck, and one of his favorite chokers clasped above it.
“My dog is quite rude.” Chuuya spun to only be greeted by the image of a certain mackerel lounging on his sofa, his tan coat hanging on the rack by the door. Chuuya felt the familiar heat of rage building inside his chest.
“How many times do I have to tell you to stop breaking into my apartment!?” Chuuya shouted, angrily tossing his coat onto the coat rack along side Dazai’s.
“I mean honestly, is this any way to speak to your master?” Dazai held up a familiar white note, one Chuuya distinctly remembered tying to the rose he’d sent to the agency. It read ‘stupid mackerel’.
“It’s called leaving a note, something you should do when sending someone flowers.” Chuuya crossed his arms over his chest and cocked his hip out as he eyed his uninvited guest, who despite his show of anger, the mafia executive was not surprised to see here. He knew what he was doing the second he sent that rose.
“But that wouldn’t be nearly as fun! The whole intention was to play a game of fetch, and my dog did so well despite being and idiot.” Dazai teased, pulling out a familiar rose and holding it out in front of him.
“I’M NOT YOUR DOG!” Chuuya barked. Dazai smiled as he stood from his seat, rose being laid gently on the coffee table before the detective approached. Suddenly the air got far to serious for Chuuya’s liking, Dazai’s expression switching from teasing to affectionate. It was quiet for a moment before Chuuya spoke up. “You could have just communicated normally you know.”
“And what’s the fun in that? I wanted to make you work.”
“Bastard.”
“Did you learn a lot about flowers?”
“More than I thought I ever wanted to.” Dazai’s hands were on his hips in a second, his grip was tight but loose enough that he was still giving Chuuya an out if he wanted it.
“And what did you learn from the ones I sent?” He was closer now, close enough that Chuuya could feel his words on his skin, his breath on his flesh. The grip on his hips burned and the feeling in his chest became all consuming. It wasn’t anger anymore, but a burning ache that seemed to pull him forward, just a few inches was all it would take.
“I learned that you’re an idiot.” He said finally, and closed the distance. The kiss was chaste at first, just a simple press of lips, then Dazai’s grip on his hips tightened and his own hands found their way to the collar of Dazai’s shirt, pulling him infinitely closer.
Chuuya found his back against the wall and his fingers tangled in Dazai’s hair before he knew it. Dazai’s hands trailed up his sides, their touch hot irons even through his clothes. If someone had told him when they were 15 that one day he’d have this man’s tongue in his mouth and hands on his body he’d have punted them halfway across the city, but here he was, desperately trying to memorize Dazai’s taste.
He wasn’t sure when the feelings started, probably sometime around 17. After Dazai left he thought they’d just go away with time, that he’d heal and close that door behind him, but the second that bandaged asshole walked back into his life that door swung right back open.
Dazai trailed his lips down Chuuya’s throat, nipping at his tender flesh, placing claiming marks in places he knew would be difficult to cover, not that Chuuya particularly cared right now. His head knocked against the hard wall as Dazai bit down between where his shoulder met his neck, a harsh bite, prying noises that had Chuuya been more lucid, he would have been embarrassed about.
He tangled his fingers in brunette waves, yanking hard enough to draw a gasp from Dazai’s lips before they were once again occupied with Chuuya’s own. He let Dazai explore his mouth, let him pull him closer, reveled in the way his bandaged arms wrapped around him. He gave another harsh tug to his hair, drawing out another gasp. Breaking the kiss, Chuuya set to work placing his own marks on the flesh of Dazai’s throat that he could access. He bit down hard on the skin just above his bandages, drawing damn near the most seductive moan out of the man before him that he’d ever heard. That would be a fun mark to explain to the armed detective agency.
“Have fun explaining that to glasses tomorrow.” Chuuya said as he laved the mark with his tongue. He could hear Dazai’s amused smile as he spoke.
“I’ll tell him the truth. My dog bit me.” Chuuya bit him again, this time significantly harder, drawing the slightest hiss from Dazai’s lips as he abused his tender skin.
Chuuya shoved Dazai over to the couch, toppling him down onto the cushion before climbing into his lap, Dazai’s hands once again finding his hips as he forced him down onto his lap. A tiny thrust up from Dazai pulled a moan from both of them before Chuuya once again set to work memorizing the inside of Dazai’s mouth with his tongue. Dazai’s hands were at the buttons of Chuuya’s vest, nimbly working to rid him of the offending garment, which he proceeded to throw across the room once it was removed before yanking Chuuya’s shirt up, untucking it so he could slide his hands under it and flatten them against Chuuya’s back, shifting him closer and providing a roll of his hips once more.
Dazai’s fingers were cold as he moved from Chuuya’s back to his stomach, tracing up to his chest. Chuuya ground down against Dazai below him, swallowing his moan. The wash of no longer human across his skin, down to his bones, the constant buzz of for the tainted sorrow quietted, his mind was fuzzy with nothing but Dazai and getting closer, getting more of him, tasting him, devouring him whole, and Chuuya imagined Dazai was having the same thoughts. He could feel Dazai hard beneath him, he was in no better state, his tight pants a little too tight as he rolled his hips once more. Then it happened.
Buzz…buzz…buzz
Everything halted. It was Chuuya’s phone, which prompted Dazai to remove his hands from inside Chuuya’s shirt and grab it from his back pocket before Chuuya could react.
“Have a boyfriend I should know about?” Dazai teased as he held the phone out of Chuuya’s reach, letting it ring.
“Shut the fuck up and give me my phone!” Chuuya barked back, finally snaching the phone from Dazai’s grasp just in time to answer it. “This is Executive Nakahara.”
“Executive Nakahara, so professional.” Dazai murmured as he set his attention on placing more marks on Chuuya’s neck as he listened to the phone call. Chuuya landed a well placed punch Dazai’s shoulder in response, not that it did much to deter the man.
“Yes boss, of course.” Chuuya answered, choking back a moan when Dazai rolled his hips up once again, paired with a harsh suck to the sensitive area just below his ear. “Y-yes I can be there in 20 minutes.”
“No you can’t.” Dazai mumbled against his skin.
“Yes sir.” Chuuya finishes before hanging up the phone. He tosses it onto the couch beside them as Dazai hugs him closer.
“Absolutely not.” Dazai says sourly. He trails gentle kisses up Chuuya’s neck as his arms tighten around his middle. Chuuya’s hands find his shoulders, trailing up his neck and into his hair. “You’re staying right here, we’re not done.”
“You know I have to go, Dazai.” He doesn’t try to pull away yet though.
“No you don’t.”
“Yes I do,” Chuuya waited for an answer, when it didn’t come, he continued. “Osamu.” He said into his ear. He rarely called Dazai by his first name, even after so many years, he only used it when he needed to. And here, he knew he needed to. He needed to convey that this wasn’t just a fluke, that when he left he would be coming back and had every intention of picking up exactly where they left off. Dazai met his eyes, and in that moment Chuuya realized how much he liked being able to see both of them, his hand came to rest on his cheek, thumb stroking the skin under the eye he used to keep covered. He leaned down and connected their lips one more time, the kiss was sweet, it was gentle. “Rain check.”
“Promise?” Dazai whispered against his lips.
“Yes.”
“Good, because I can’t have my dog running away you know, maybe I should get you microchipped.” Chuuya stood abruptly.
Whenever I see people discoursing online about how all fiction must model good behavior and explicitly state that any bad behavior depicted is wrong, lest someone in the audience mistake it for “glorifying,” all I can think of is that line from Arrested Development where Buster, in his mid-30s, objects to something by saying “that’s not the way mother is raising me”
Like yeah maybe YA books and kids’ cartoons have a responsibility to demonstrate the difference between Right and Wrong, since the audience is, like, actual children, but if you’re consuming literally anything more advanced than Disney XD’s Ducktales, you should absolutely be expected to bring your own moral framework from home and not need your media to spoon-feed morality to you
if you see a show about a a man manufacturing and selling methamphetamine while abusing his wife and murdering people and you can’t tell whether the author intends for you to think his actions are right or wrong? That might be more your problem than the text’s. You might just, at that point, be an idiot.
Spent my whole life being sure I'm asexual but for some UNFATHOMABLE REASON the only thing I'm sexually attracted to is Viktor from Arcane. Like why, out of all possible things.
Lol I know the feeling😂😂 probably because we know he’s not actually real so there’s a level of safety there. I am also Asexual, and I feel your pain😂😂
I’ve officially started working on the requests I got yesterday! I got called into work so I’m a little late but they’re getting done!! Also I decided to keep my requests open for the foreseeable future for BSD, FO4 and Hazbin Hotel, so if anyone has any other requests or prompts or headcannons feel free to drop them in!
