THE STURNAHOLICS MEET THE TRIPLETS: APOCALYPSE EDITION
It was supposed to be a chill day. Emphasis on supposed to.
The Sturnaholics—Elle, Cherry, Leonor, Leilani, Meira, Moya, Lele, Mari, Stella, and Angii—had somehow secured meet-and-greet tickets for the Sturniolo Triplets. Don’t ask how. Probably illegal. Maybe sold their souls. No one cared. It was happening.
Be normal. Smile. Don't scream. Don’t cry. Don’t die.
Five minutes in, the plan was already burning in hell.
The Morning of the Meet and Greet
"WAKE THE FUCK UP, BITCHES, IT’S GAME DAY!" Elle yelled, slamming a frying pan against the wall.
Cherry screamed and fell off the couch.
"I WAS HAVING A DREAM ABOUT NICK, YOU FUCKING WHORE."
Leonor threw a pillow across the room, nailing Meira right in the face.
"IF I DON’T HAVE PERFECT HAIR FOR CHRIS, I’M KILLING MYSELF," Leonor declared dramatically, hair rollers flying.
Leilani sat up, bleary-eyed. "Wait... where the fuck is Moya?"
Moya was nowhere to be found.
Angii checked the bathroom. "NOT HERE."
Stella checked the kitchen. "NOT HERE."
Mari checked under the table. "WHY THE FUCK WOULD SHE BE UNDER THE TABLE?"
Lele shrugged. "Maybe she’s on FaceTime with Matt. Manifestation is real, dumbasses."
At that exact moment, Moya burst through the door, Starbucks in one hand and a giant cardboard cutout of Nick in the other.
"I FUCKING FOUND HIM IN THE TRASH BEHIND TARGET," she announced proudly.
The house looked like a battlefield.
Hair straighteners were on fire. Mascara wands were being used as weapons. Someone (Cherry) was crying in the corner because her eyeliner wasn’t even.
Leonor and Leilani had locked themselves in the bathroom, threatening to fistfight anyone who knocked.
Moya kept pacing back and forth mumbling, "WHAT IF I FORGET HOW TO TALK? WHAT IF I BARK? WHAT IF I MEOW?"
Mari, completely unbothered, sat calmly painting her nails black.
"If y'all pass out, I’m stealing your meet and greet time," she said casually.
Lele was blasting "Watermelon Sugar" by Harry Styles at full volume, dancing around in booty shorts and yelling, "I’M GONNA MAKE CHRIS FALL IN LOVE WITH ME IF IT’S THE LAST THING I DO, MOTHERFUCKERS."
Meanwhile, Stella and Angii sat silently on the couch, shaking like chihuahuas.
"What if they think we're ugly?" Stella whispered.
Angii nodded solemnly. "What if they think we smell?"
Cue a collective panic attack over spraying seventeen different perfumes at once.
The house now smelled like Bath & Body Works had been set on fire.
They got there two hours early because Cherry threatened to physically fight anyone who dared to be ahead of them in line.
Waiting in line was a fever dream.
The Sturnaholics took about 500 blurry selfies, practiced poses, practiced fake laughing, practiced fake normal human behavior.
Someone farted and blamed it on a passing toddler. (Elle.)
Finally, finally, finally—
Chris, Nick, and Matt walked into the room.
No breathing. No blinking. No thinking. Just pure, raw, dumbass energy radiating off every single one of them.
Leonor gripped Leilani’s arm so hard Leilani shrieked.
"IF I PASS OUT, DON’T LET THEM TAKE UGLY PICTURES OF ME," Leonor whisper-screamed.
Chris waved at the group, smiling.
Lele immediately started sobbing.
"I LOVE YOU," she wailed, clutching Mari like her life depended on it.
Mari, completely emotionless, just said, "Be fucking cool, you simp."
Elle shoved Cherry toward Nick.
Cherry, in pure panic, yelled, "NICK I LOVE YOUR HAIR YOU SEXY RAT MAN."
Cherry stared at him like she’d seen God himself descend from heaven.
Moya finally got shoved in front of Matt.
Moya opened her mouth to say hi.
Instead, she fucking barked.
The entire room went silent for 0.3 seconds before Matt burst out laughing, slapping his knee.
Meira, never one to be outdone, dropped to the floor and did the worm across the carpet.
Chris lost his shit. Nick looked traumatized. Security looked scared.
Angii and Stella, still holding hands like they were entering hell together, finally reached the triplets.
"Hi," Angii said, voice cracking.
Stella just whispered, "Matt’s so fucking hot oh my god," loud enough for Matt to hear.
Stella collapsed into Angii’s arms.
They all stumbled out of the venue an hour later, dazed and traumatized.
Moya shrugged. "Worth it."
"You literally died and resurrected like Jesus."
"You traumatized a security guard."
Lele wiped tears off her face with her sleeve. "I told Chris I’d marry him. He didn’t say no. He didn’t say yes either. But he didn’t say no."
Mari patted her on the head. "Delusion is powerful."
Stella and Angii just sat on the curb in silence, processing.
Finally, Stella whispered, "I can never show my face in public again."
Angii nodded. "I’m becoming a nun."
Elle stood up, raising her arms like a preacher.
"We did it, bitches," she yelled. "We met the triplets."
"And we embarrassed ourselves," Cherry added.
"And we traumatized Matt," Leilani pointed out.
"And we broke security," Leonor said.
"And I wormed," Moya beamed.
"And I’m never getting over it," Mari said.
"And I'd do it again," Lele grinned.
The group burst into laughter, the sound echoing down the street like a threat to society itself.
The Sturnaholics had arrived.
@dolliraez @cherryswifeyy @scorpio1205 @luvs4matt @vanteguccir @jointlesss @leonorsbubble @leisturni @sturns-mermaid
pixelskylines
germansingergirl
dailybridgerton
andulkaphoto
janainaart
tangentwithtanner
ellievsbear
