Get out of here
requested
summary: a confusing relationship with gator in high school gets even more confusing when you leave for college and he doesn't. but when you come back 3 years later, you realise distance will never remove him from your heart.
cw: enemies to lovers, (fake) enemies with benefits (there was always feelings there), soft!gator, gator has a praise kink, oral (f receiving), piv, such a sappy soft ending, sorta angsty/sad bits
a/n: my longest fic to date eek, i spent so long on this and im so proud of it
wc: 4k
"surely there's somewhere you really wanna go?"
you were sprawled half over gators naked body, your own covered by the thick quilt of your bed. his fingered played absentmindedly with the strands of your hair that had fallen free from your braid.
it was the last night of summer break before senior year, college applications had been sent, final exams were pending. the last day of pure freedom you spent with gator
speaking about random topics you were only half engaged in, your focus was more on the steadying thump of his heartbeat. it was warm, natural, comforting. so unbelievably fucking complicated.
"the beach maybe, i've never been"
"what?!"
"yeah.. i think that's where i'd go"
you dreamt that night of the beach, of you and gator at the beach on some sunny day far into the future. where getting out of leigh was a possibility, something guaranteed.
you and gator had a confusing relationship during the last two years of high school. you weren't dating officially because god forbid he'd be seen with you.
and honestly, you had a rep of your own and didn't want to be seen with him either. but that didn't stop you both from being so unbelievably drawn to one another.
your crowd and his didn't mix. he was a jock; disgustingly popular and a massive bellend. you were a nerd; quite and reserved with only a close circle of similar type friends.
everyone thought you hated each other, you had an almost famous rivalry in your school. he drove you up the walls, you pushed his buttons, your arguments were explosive until one day they just fizzled out between your sweat slicked bodies, crammed together in a random bathroom at a house party.
from that day, you fell in love. you managed to see the true gator for who he was, and the last 18 months of school became the best months.
but no one knew that you and gator saw something in each other. you saw a quiter, vulnerable side to gator. he equally saw a louder, more outgoing side to you.
you were career driven, desperate to get away from leigh and everything that attached itself to that place. gator on the other hand didn't care, he had a stable job reserved for him, one that he could flex and boast about and not have to go to any lengths ready, waiting for him the second he graduated.
in the silence of the nights that you spent together you saw that frail boy who was just desperate to be loved, to be seen, to be wanted. needed.
each time you lay, skin to skin under his cool cotton sheets, you peeled away his tough exterior piece by piece. and it was fair, because he did the same with you.
so much you quickly ended up as each others life line, the only person who know every thing, the first person to hear about a new thing.
but again no one knew, and that made it so much more complicated that it needed to be. because it was great that no one knew, it was just yours, something so delicate and personal that no one could take away or hurt.
however then came the pressures, the hiding, the secrets, the arguing. his friends hated you, your friends hated him. you were constantly stuck in a cycle of arguing at school because you had to, then only a few hours later making it up to each other in the back of his car.
it was the perfect mix, which is exactly why it couldn't work. not in that moment anyway.
even though it was never labeled, you broke up with him a few days before you left for college.
it ruined him. the one person he let in, the one person he could be true with, the one person who put up with his bullshit who was always there and understanding when he just wanted to let out his anger. she left.
the 'breakup' was messy. but you wanted it to be. you wanted to be angry, even though you felt you shouldn't, it felt wrong. after all there wasn't technically anything to break up.
it was more breaking the news to gator that you were leaving.
"two states away.." you whimpered, bracing for gator to go mental, silent tears already rolling down your cheeks.
you'd gone to his like normal, but you didn't step foot actually in the house. he looked like a kicked puppy when you didn't kiss him the second you arrived. and that moment you knew this was going to be one of the most difficult things you'll ever do.
"two states!"
"i have to go"
"sugar ya can't leave?"
"yes i can- unlike you i have dreams" you provoked him, needed him to be angry at you, as if that would make this easier.
"you'll never get out of here- no one does"
"you don't know that!"
"yes i do" he laughed. "your books and your college and your confidence don't change nothing"
"well maybe you just don't have dreams" you retaliated.
"we're all stuck here- you'll find out soon enough"
after a long hour filled with tearful begging from gator, you left him crying on his porch that night, destroyed yourself, without saying a proper goodbye, and didn't call. it killed you to do so, you missed him so much the second you turned away.
and you couldn't even tell anyone or confide in someone else over your heartbreak because they didn't know.
until you finally arrived at college a couple days later. this was the fresh start you'd been dreaming of for years. it was hard to swallow the fact that gator wouldn't be there.
because that tiny part of you had hoped he would be here too, getting a fresh start for himself with you. the first night was heartbreak all over again, so bad you phoned him and left a shaky voice mail when he ignored your call. a voicemail he never had the guts to listen to.
then came your roommate. someone you didn't know, a new person. someone you luckily got on with straight away.
after only a week you were best friends, and she knew everything about you and gator.
finally you were able to grieve.
and she was there after each holiday when the heartbreak would happen again.
because going back home during the holidays meant seeing gator, and that meant all your previously suppressed feelings came rushing back because you'd never ever fallen out of love with him.
especially when you woke up in bed next to him countless times after you'd both assured it was the last time.
"gate we can't keep doing this" you said between kisses the christmas of your first year
"just this once, let me have you just once more please" he begged, eyes glassy and desperate.
"you said that the last two times- this isn't healthy"
"i need you, it's all i think about"
"we should talk gator about us"
"don't need to sugar- just let me have you tonight"
despite your words, it happened again, and again, but you couldn't resist. plus stepping into the police force meant each time you came home he just got fitter and fitter.
which your roommate definitely didn't think was a valid reason, her being the one to deal with your reignited feelings, doubled and worse. especially when in your last year he ended up back in your regular phone list.
she had a point, you were basically torturing yourself with sleeping with him every time you went home just to leave him all over again and cause yourself agonising pain.
but the pain was addictive. and only he could sooth it.
after three years, graduating college should have been a celebration, a fresh beginning full of hope and pride.
but there was one thing in your mind; gators words. gators words from three years ago that he said just to make you angry.
"you'll never get out of here"
because in the few weeks you'd been back home, that was starting to seem more and more true.
no jobs relating to your degree came up in the area, or the surrounding areas. hell there were barley any regular weekend jobs in your area you could get.
no job, no money, no way of getting out.
you moved back in with your parents only a few streets away from the tillman ranch where gator still lived with his dad.
despite the fact you'd been home for over 20 days, and gator knew, you were yet to see him. you hadn't seen anyone from school really, having distanced yourself from pretty much everyone as soon as you could.
he haven't even text you. which was weird because for the last year he'd message at least once a week. links to social media, memories from your school years, random things just to piss you off.
sometimes, always later in the night it would be "i miss you".
he was normally high, fresh of a fuck from some girl he'd met at the bar, a girl he didn't know the name of but knew she looked like you.
you'd not mention it again even though it made your heart ache and your stomach hollow, tears seeping into your pillow as you slept. ignoring the messages from the guys who were interested in you, the guys you just couldn't bring yourself to be fully interested in back.
but that was the past now. now you were back home, now you had a chance to make things right with him, to talk.
you weren't planning on actually doing that tonight, definitely not but sometimes the universe has a way of pushing you into doing something it knows you were procrastinating.
the bar was dimly lit, pretty quiet for a friday evening but you didn't mind, if anything you preferred it like that. made it feel like there was less people there to possibly judge you.
but then the door opened and you just knew. you could tell by the shift in the air, by the way the door opened, by the sound of the boots on the hardwood floors, the sound of his voice at the bar.
gator.
before you could think about it, you stood slowly stepping towards the figure out the bar. He was standing away from you forearms pressed onto the edge of the counter, his shoulders tight and guarded, hair loose and falling into his eyes.
sliding next to him, you rested your arm next to his close enough you could feel the heat of his hand radiating onto yours. turning your head you face him, gators eyebrows are furrowed and his jaw is set tight, back teeth grinding together and a habit that you knew all too well.
"gate?" you say quietly, cautiously, just loud enough to be heard over the dull hum of the radio.
his head turned so quick you thought it may fly off, brows shooting up in shock as he took a slight step back when his eyes focused on you.
you looked prettier than ever, slightly tired and kind of soft around the edges, one maybe two drinks in gator assumes by the flush on your cheeks that's starting to seep across to you ears.
"sugar.. you" he stutters.
"you knew i was home"
"yeah i did.. i thought maybe ya wouldn't want me botherin ya, now yer a college grad an' all that"
"i was waiting for you to call, fuck i thought you'd come round" you laugh, a tired almost disappointed laugh.
"though bout it, what ya doin 'ere anyway"
"same as you i can imagine"
on the bar counter, his hand inches closer, hardly enough to even see it. your eyes stay locked on one another, having already run out of words. well you could think of a million words to say, you could definitely think of three words to say but the weight of the small space between you crushes them.
but when the edge of his pinky finger grazes yours, neither of you can hold back. your gazes don't even drop to one others mouth before youre on each other, lips crashing together in a kiss that has already said more than you could piece together in your mind.
your hands leave the bar, wrapping around gators neck and anchoring him down as his arms cradle your whole body, pulling you so close to him you'd assume he was trying to smother you.
inside your chest, your heart beats dangerously fast, finding and matching gators like they've not been working properly without one another.
"gate" you whimper against his mouth.
"i'm here" he pulls back just enough to talk properly, your noses still touching.
"take me home"
"your place?" he confirms, already reaching to grab his keys.
"no. yours"
he looks at you for a moment, then smiles and kisses you again before dragging away from the bar and to the door, out into the cool air of the july evening.
throwing yourself into the passenger side of his cruiser, you reach over the console to grab gators jaw and pulling him in for another kiss.
now you've had the taste you can't stop, like literally need his warm lips against yours like you need oxygen in your lungs.
"princess, cmon i gotta drive"
"i've missed you”
"i know i missed ya too, fuck yer killin me"
he pries you off him, reaching over to secure your seatbelt for you in an excuse to steal another kiss, which you give over without a fuss.
your fingers lace together and rest on your thigh as gator drives to the ranch, a short drive that you were shocked he even drove to in the first place having been able to walk.
headlights flood the gravel ground of the ranch, illuminating the house and stables and fields you knew all too well, the porch that hosted the worst night of your life.
"gate" you interrupted him as he got out the car.
"what?"
"can we.. go in the back"
as if he knew, he nodded and helped you out the car, sealing his promise with a short, passionate kiss. his arm snaked around your waist as you walked around the house to the back door, the one that opened out into the kitchen across from the stairs.
"is anyone home?" you ask as the door opens to an eerily quiet house.
"nah- dads got the campaign next week so he's took the family to some place outa town"
"why are you here" you followed up as gator guided you up the stairs.
"that doesn't matta, 'ere with ya ain't i- that's better than anythin with them"
you smiled and linked your arms around his neck, kissing him deep as he walked you blindly into his bedroom.
that's when your hands began to messily rip away gators clothes, his doing the same to you. the mixed lot of fabric fell in random piled strewn out across his room, until you were both left completely bare.
gator was the one to break the kiss, instantly dropping his lips to your neck, sucking and biting marks into the skin before moving to your chest. he licked over your swell of your tits, pulling your peaked nipple into his warm mouth.
arching into him, you let out a content sigh, hands threading into his hair as his head travelled further and further south. licking over your belly, he dropped to his knees face to face with your burning core.
heat simmered low in your belly, turned up a notch from the pure sight of gator on his knees, looking up at you like you were the only thing in the world.
his hands pushed your hips to sit back on his bed, the mattress springing slightly under your weight. once you settled he pushed apart your thighs, drinking in the sight of your slick-shiny cunt.
inhaling through his nose, gator pressed his lips to your inner thighs, switching between them as he breathed in your scent, the scent he's been craving since the last time he saw you, since the last pair of your panties he stole had lost theirs.
"gate" you carded your fingers through his hair, so desperate and achy for him now.
gator buried his face in your pussy, eating you out like a man starved, in the way he knew you loved so much, in the way you had taught him to. the wet heat of his tongue pressed against your slit before his lips enveloped your sensitive clit.
the sounds coming from his mouth were wet and lewd, almost inaudible by the sounds coming out of your mouth, high, breathy moans and whimpers getting more desperate as you tumbled closer to your climax.
"oh fuuuck- yeah gate just like that- ugh that's so good, baby you’re so good" you choked out.
your praise made gators heart pull and his cock twitch almost painfully, bringing two of his fingers up to prod at your entrance, sliding in to the knuckle and curling at your sweet spot.
"gate- oh fuuuuck i'm so close"
falling down on the mattress, your back arched, pushing your hips up as you began to practically hump gators face. he moaned into your core, the vibration sending you over the edge, your pussy gushing and fluttering around his fingers as your clit throbbed against his flicking tongue.
gently, he rode out your orgasm, bringing you to the point just before overstimulation, hungry for more.
"taste so sweet, fuckin addictive she is" he stood, easing his fingers out of your hole and sliding his whole hand up your pussy.
"get up here" you demanded.
pushing on his shoulders, gator fell onto his own bed watching as you swung your leg over his hip, straddling him. his hands settled on your wait as he pushed himself up against the headboard so he could look at you.
look at you properly, the way he's been wanting to look at you for years.
"go on sugar, make yourself feel good on me, i ain't goin anywhere- 'm all yours" he whispered against your forehead as you watched your hand traced between your bodies.
wrapping your fingers around gators cock, you stroked him from base to tip, catching his precum with the pad of your thumb and bringing it back down his soft length.
he’s warm and heavy in your hand as you held his cock to your dripping pussy, letting your arousal cover him in a shiny layer of wetness.
guiding his head to your entrance, you move your head so you can press your forehand against gators, both watching when he disappears into your welcoming heat, filling you up with that familiar stretch.
whining against his mouth, you sink down all the way until your ass if flush against his thighs. you sit for a moment, re connecting your lips together before testing a shallow roll of your hips.
"fuuuck" gator moaned, his grip on your waist tightening for a second.
raising up until his tip was just grazing your entrance you slammed back down, setting a quick pace where gators cock kissed your cervix with each bounce.
his hands slid to your hips, helping your movements as your lips latched onto his throat, sucking a dark hickey into the skin covering his pulse point.
"shit gator- aah" you moaned and mewled into his shoulder hearing his own breathy groans above you and feeling the rough patch of hair on his chest brush against your sensitive nipples.
"god i missed ya"
"missed you so much" you slurred, overwhelmed by the feeling of gator just everywhere.
he sat forward, pushing his chest flush to yours as he started to shallowly fuck up into you, meeting your movements half way. the new angle sparked a fire in your belly, a second release close in sight.
throwing your head back, your arms wrapped around his neck as his locked around your waist, holding you so close as he mouthed at your throat.
"baby- feels so good, you’re so good f'me gate"
your praise again made gators cock twitch inside you, swelling slightly as he tried to hold back from cumming right then.
"yeah good- i'm good- just fer you" he repeated your words like a prayer as his lips found yours again in a messy kiss full of tongue.
"im so close gate- right there fuck"
you ground your hips down into him frantically as he continued to buck his up and meet you, the course patch of hair at his base creating the perfect amount of friction against your pulsating clit, just enough to snap the band in your lower belly.
"aaah- fuuuuck"
you arched and threw your head back, pressing your chest into gators as you shook in his arms, pleasure blooming from your centre and shooting up to all your limbs.
letting out a chest groan, gator followed behind you, pulling your down onto him and cumming hard inside you, filling you up until he felt his own spend dripping out onto his thighs.
"oh my god" you panted, collapsing forward onto gators chest.
"i love you" he whimpered above you, just as breathless.
"really?”
he hummed in confirmation, sliding his and your body down the bed until you were laying flat over him, your head resting over his heart.
"i love you gate"
you felt him exhale in relief underneath you, holding you closer and starting to rub soothingly over your back.
you fell into a brief moment of quiet, something reassuring but also so terrifying. the realisation that you'd confessed to loving each other crashing down along with the fact that was the softest sex you'd ever had with gator.
"what yer plans then, gonna leave me again, like always" he grumbled, trying to blur the tone back into how it normally is after you'd slept together.
"don't say that i had to go back"
"well ya don't have to go back anymore so what? ya always know"
"i don't.." you swallowed back the tears that were threatening your waterline. "i don't know"
"ya must know something"
"i know i really don't want go without you"
"go where?"
"anywhere, we could get out of here.." you whispered into his shoulder
"it always pissed me off but this is one of the things i liked about you- you always believed you could do something great"
"why don't you believe you can too"
"cuz sugar im realistic"
"that doesn't have to be the reality"
he scoffed and continued tracing patterns against the soft skin of your back.
"we could get out, together" you lifted your head up, finding his eyes.
"you really think so" he asked, a small glimmer of hope behind his eyes that you'd only seen maybe once or twice.
"you just need to belive a bit harder"
you shifted to settle on his front properly, resting on your elbows beside his head, cupping his jaw in your palms.
"we can go anywhere you want. say the place we'll go right now" you nudged your nose against his, watching his eyes flutter shut.
he thought about his job now, how he just walked into it and never gave anything else the time of day. opening his eyes, he looked to the door that was still open, having had no need to shut the emptiness out.
"really?" he whispered looking away from the empty house and back to you with glossy eyes.
"we're adults now gate, this isn't wishful thinking anymore"
a flashback to this exact same conversation 4 years ago crossed your mind, only a few days before your first day of senior year. even though you seemed confident this whole time, you knew you were still a kid at the time, and nothing was a promise.
but not anymore.
"there's no one stopping us- i was always gonna come back for you"
"the beach" he whispered against your lips. "can we go to the beach?"
you let out a watery laugh and nodded before sealing your plans with a kiss.
