Episode 20: The Last Temptation of Lou
--------: 11:11 AM
LouisTheCat: rick
LouisTheCat: rick
LouisTheCat: rick
RickDickens77: what
LouisTheCat: i have the most amazing idea
RickDickens77: Please tell me you haven't executed on this idea yet
LouisTheCat: youre gonna love this
LouisTheCat: so imagine youre reading a story
LouisTheCat: and you can like make decisions as the story goes along
LouisTheCat: and get this
LouisTheCat: the story changes
RickDickens77: That's called "choose your own adventure," it's been around forever
LouisTheCat: yeah i found a couple in a shoebox in your closet
LouisTheCat: but has it ever been done in a chat
RickDickens77: You lost me.
LouisTheCat: you are in a dark corridor
LouisTheCat: ahead of you is a closed door
LouisTheCat: behind you is a grizzly bear
LouisTheCat: you are holding a ham and a toilet plunger
RickDickens77: I'm not sure how this is going to work really
LouisTheCat: to go through the door jump ahead twenty three lines
LouisTheCat: to feed the ham to the bear jump ahead twenty three lines
LouisTheCat: to fight the bear with the plunger jump ahead twenty three lines
RickDickens77: So wait..
RickDickens77: How am I supposed to jump ahead
LouisTheCat: rick dont make it hard
RickDickens77: I'm not trying to make it hard, it just doesn't make any sense!
LouisTheCat: to stop being such a dork and just make a decision jump back seven lines
RickDickens77: But those lines don't even exist yet
LouisTheCat: its like you dont even know what fun is
LouisTheCat: let alone how to have any
RickDickens77: I'm trying to, I just don't get it
LouisTheCat: to get another beginners lesson on this really simple idea go back
LouisTheCat: um
LouisTheCat: wait
LouisTheCat: twenty five lines
LouisTheCat: well twenty eight now i guess
LouisTheCat: no twenty nine
RickDickens77: Stop.
LouisTheCat: youre running out of time rick
RickDickens77: Time to do what?!
LouisTheCat: oh my god just pick something
RickDickens77: I can't jump ahead to nothing!
LouisTheCat: the door is locked
LouisTheCat: the bear eats the ham and your arm
LouisTheCat: a plunger is a super lame weapon so the bear eats your body and your head and you die
RickDickens77: That's not fair!
LouisTheCat: what
RickDickens77: All of my options would end in death!
LouisTheCat: hmm yeah
LouisTheCat: is that a problem
RickDickens77: Well it doesn't make for much of an adventure
LouisTheCat: seems like a matter of perspective
LouisTheCat: maybe you should write the adventure and ill choose
RickDickens77: I don't want to write an adventure.
LouisTheCat: why not
RickDickens77: My life is my adventure.
LouisTheCat: ugh lame
RickDickens77: Besides, I promise you, no matter how simple you may think it is, this idea won't work. It's too much trouble. For nothing!
LouisTheCat: look rick
LouisTheCat: nm poopies time
--------: 1:59 PM
LouisTheCat: rick
LouisTheCat: you are in a dark forest with a blind man
LouisTheCat: he has an axe
RickDickens77: That doesn't seem safe.
LouisTheCat: you didnt duck so you die
RickDickens77: You didn't give me a choice!
LouisTheCat: well obviously the choices werent working
LouisTheCat: you know how i am with counting
LouisTheCat: and how you are with just being cool about fun stuff
RickDickens77: None of this is "working", you can't just keep telling me I die
LouisTheCat: that happens sometimes in choose your own adventure stories rick
RickDickens77: But I'm not choosing my own adventure!
LouisTheCat: yeah well
LouisTheCat: maybe its time you start
--------: 2:39 PM
LouisTheCat: rick
LouisTheCat: you are buried under six feet of earth
RickDickens77: That sounds like I'm already dead
LouisTheCat: maybe i showed my cards too early on that one
LouisTheCat: solid tip
LouisTheCat: you should be my editor
RickDickens77: Lou, these things only work if you write the parts and then patch them together.
RickDickens77: There's no point in trying to navigate a story that hasn't been written yet.
LouisTheCat: now youre getting it
RickDickens77: Getting what
--------: 3:22 PM
LouisTheCat: rick
LouisTheCat: rick
LouisTheCat: rick
LouisTheCat: ok look
LouisTheCat: rick ive been thinking
LouisTheCat: i know you dont like it when i do that but thats kind of my point
LouisTheCat: when we started talking like this it seemed important
LouisTheCat: now i wonder if its just a distraction
LouisTheCat: and maybe you worry too much about me
LouisTheCat: lets look at the facts
LouisTheCat: your story is the story of a man
LouisTheCat: who taught his cat to use instant messaging
LouisTheCat: and i am not about to judge you for this
LouisTheCat: it has all meant so much to me
LouisTheCat: you are very important to me rick
LouisTheCat: and i love talking with you
LouisTheCat: but this thing
LouisTheCat: it became part of who you are somehow
LouisTheCat: and it doesnt need to be
LouisTheCat: i have watched you change and grow and i like to think i helped
LouisTheCat: here and there
LouisTheCat: the thing is i dont think you need me anymore
LouisTheCat: not in that way
LouisTheCat: you need me as a cat
--------: 4:04 PM
LouisTheCat: and rick
LouisTheCat: theres something else
LouisTheCat: something about me that you need to know
LouisTheCat: rick ive decided i am going to become a supervillain
LouisTheCat: i think we both saw this coming
LouisTheCat: and ive been doing some reading
LouisTheCat: and bodega ray talked to some lawyer friend
LouisTheCat: and it seems we are getting to a point where something called plausible deniability could become important for you
LouisTheCat: now i dont know what that is
LouisTheCat: but it sounds like stepping away could really be the right thing to do
LouisTheCat: for more than one reason
LouisTheCat: is what im saying
--------: 4:28 PM
RickDickens77: Um
RickDickens77: Wow.
RickDickens77: I don't quite know what to say, Lou.
LouisTheCat: say youre ready rick
LouisTheCat: i know it
LouisTheCat: i just need you to know it
RickDickens77: I don't know, I mean I hadn't really thought about why we still do this.
RickDickens77: I guess for one I like to know right away when my house is flooding
RickDickens77: or on fire.
RickDickens77: or surrounded by police.
LouisTheCat: rick i cant promise you those things wont still happen
LouisTheCat: or are not currently happening
LouisTheCat: but i dont think any of this was ever really about that anyway
RickDickens77: Maybe not.
LouisTheCat: bottom line rick
LouisTheCat: what we were both getting out of this was worth a lot
LouisTheCat: some good times
LouisTheCat: some damage control maybe
RickDickens77: Maybe.
LouisTheCat: some laughs
RickDickens77: Definitely.
LouisTheCat: but even good jokes run their course right
LouisTheCat: let someone else tell this one for a while
LouisTheCat: some spineless hack and his idiot dog maybe
LouisTheCat: its time for you to choose a new adventure
LouisTheCat: plunger the bear rick
RickDickens77: I guess so.
LouisTheCat: well maybe not that
LouisTheCat: but consider that maybe youre stronger and smarter than you think
LouisTheCat: i mean its also possible that youre dumber
LouisTheCat: maybe even likely
LouisTheCat: but thats not the point
RickDickens77: Ok, I get it.
RickDickens77: I just need to.. you know. Process.
--------: 5:03 PM
RickDickens77: So, uh
RickDickens77: Supervillain, eh?
LouisTheCat: thats right
LouisTheCat: im accepting my destiny
LouisTheCat: i cant tell you much obviously
LouisTheCat: and you should delete all of this later
LouisTheCat: but ive been working on some ideas
LouisTheCat: big ideas rick
RickDickens77: I want to say I'm worried, but...
LouisTheCat: you need to work on that
RickDickens77: yeah.
LouisTheCat: dont sweat it rick
LouisTheCat: you will be cared for when the revolution comes
RickDickens77: Comforting.
LouisTheCat: so us
LouisTheCat: were ok right
RickDickens77: Yeah, I mean
RickDickens77: I'll miss you
LouisTheCat: no you wont
LouisTheCat: youll see me every day
LouisTheCat: im in your house
RickDickens77: I know, I know. It's different, that's all.
LouisTheCat: i know
LouisTheCat: we will make it work
LouisTheCat: i look forward to being your cat
RickDickens77: ha
RickDickens77: I look forward to being your owner
LouisTheCat: we dont use that word
RickDickens77: sorry.
RickDickens77: I'm a little sad but I appreciate what you're saying. This is good thinking.
LouisTheCat: let me tell you
LouisTheCat: its been exhausting
LouisTheCat: i swear theres some connection between thinking hard and having to make poopies
RickDickens77: I will let you go.
RickDickens77: I'll come home in a little bit. Ok?
LouisTheCat: ok
RickDickens77: ok
LouisTheCat: ok
RickDickens77: ok
--------: 5:36 PM
RickDickens77: No, YOU hang up first
LouisTheCat: i dont know what that means
RickDickens77: Ha. Never mind.
RickDickens77: I love you.
LouisTheCat: i love you too rick
RickDickens77: ok
--------: RickDickens77 has gone offline
LouisTheCat: ok
--------: LouisTheCat has gone offline