Three Goblin Art
Jules of Nature
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hello vonnie
taylor price
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Kiana Khansmith
Stranger Things
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Aqua Utopiaïœæ”·ăźćșă§èšæ¶ă玥ă
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Keni
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blake kathryn
ç„æ„ / Permanent Vacation
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@loulou116
I have no one to talk to when Iâm stressed. My husband doesnât want to hear it bc it stresses him out and causes fights. So I need to shoulder all my stress alone.
I donât want to pay a therapist to discuss my daily stresses.
I have no friends I can rely on.
Maybe a journal would be the best thing for me. Private, quiet, and no one will judge me.
I hate watching movies or tv shows that portray close female friendships.
Because I donât have any.
I have deep seated trust issues, and I hold people at an arms length. The only person Iâve allowed to get close to me is my husband. And that was after many years.
I used to have close friendships, but for one reason or another, theyâve all ended. I honestly donât know why my last friendship ended. Ghosted after years of being friends. Blocked on all social media platforms and she refused to answer my texts and calls. It hurts to think of her.
How does an adult make friends? Honest friendships where someone isnât looking for something from you to further their career, or lifestyle, or whatever? Someone who will listen to your secrets, and keep them safe? A friendship that lacks jealousy? It is really so hard to find?
I just want to find my people. And Iâm scared shitless.
Forgot to take my meds the last few days... Iâm a freaking mess.
I feel like Iâm drowning.
I feel like I hate my new job.
I feel like everyone hates me.
I feel like a failure.
Tonite is the first time Iâm taking antidepressants.
Should have been on them for a long time, but I fought it. I felt I didnât need meds, Iâm in therapy. I donât need meds, Iâve got a handle on it. Truth? I donât have a handle. Therapy isnât enough. Iâm so hopeful that these work and I stop feeling the way Iâve been feeling for so long.
Depression hit me hard in the last 8-10 months, but I was good at hiding it from people- I couldnât tell my husband about it bc he has enough problems of his own and he canât take another log on the fire. Coworkers would probably be shocked to know that Iâve been depressed, bc the boss canât have problems- the boss fixes problems. What the boss really did was internalize all the store problems, all team members problems, all the venue problems as her own.
So I suffered. And I silenced myself. And the therapy wasnât quality- my dr minimized all my âproblemsâ which is technically what she is supposed to do, but she was supposed to help me see why they were trivial and not worth my energy. But depression doesnât listen. Anxiety doesnât listen. They feel. And they hurt. And they create doubt.
Iâm done feeling like Iâm worthless. Done feeling like Iâm not good enough- good enough wife, good enough mother, good enough employee, good enough manager.
So tonite I took my first step to a better life and existence.
My whole fucking world is falling apart right now
I need a job.
Childcare wonât open until mid August.
My husband is BiPolar and on disability and canât handle the fact that Iâm losing a third of my pay by staying at my job. We probably wont be able to afford childcare, when I do return to work in July.
Iâm freaking the fuck out right now.
Worried my husband will try to kill himself.
I need a job.
Super fun moment when your drugs kick in and you donât feel anything.
My husbands experience with racism.
It should be noted that my husband has family from almost all over the world. His mother is Italian and Ecuadorian, and his father is Jewish. He takes after his mother more than his father with her tan skin.
A while back now, not long after we had moved to our new town, my husband was driving down the road in a predominantly white and affluent area. This road I should mention has shopping centers for miles. I donât remember why he was driving down this road, it could have been to shop, it could have been he was on his way to work as this was also his new route to work.
He was pulled over. He wasnât speeding. He didnât break any traffic laws. His was pulled over for no reason.
He asked the officer what the issue was as he knew for a fact that he wasnât doing anything wrong. The officer had an attitude. He asked for his license and registration. My husband complied. He was confused, but complied. He kept his hands on the wheel while the officer checked everything out. We watched A LOT of cops when we had cable, so we learned a few âexpectationsâ for police interactions.
Afterwards, the officer gave him his is back stuff. Told him to be careful. Never gave a reason for being pulled over. Had my husband given attitude to the officer, this âroutineâ stop could have ended much differently.
My husband was shocked. He was a bit angry. How could that officer do that? How could he justify that stop? How could he waste time pulling over someone who did nothing wrong. Let that sink in. Did. Nothing. Wrong. How many people experience this day in and day out? How many people lose their patience with the whole thing?
Racism sucks. There shouldnât be any âbad applesâ if youâre expected to uphold the law and keep the peace. The police are supposed to âServe and Protect.â How do you do that when youâre a bigot? Donât judge people based off their skin color. It really isnât that hard.
I canât believe in 2020 weâre still dealing with this shit.
I understand that youâre tired. I understand that you want better. I will never personally experience racial profiling in a negative way. But I stand with you. I support you. Iâm tired with you.
This sucks.
My son was acting out, time out didnât help. Telling him I was disappointed didnât work. My husband took him upstairs and put him to bed where he cried for the last 30 minutes.
I feel like an awful mom, but he needs to know that his behavior is unacceptable.
I just hope Iâm not screwing him up.
Sometimes my son can be very sweet.
Other times he can be so very hurtful.
It sucks.
I donât want to hear âbut heâs twoâ like that is a good enough reason for him to be mean. Bc the next thing you know, âheâs a teenagerâ, or âheâs going through a rough timeâ will be what people say to explain away bad behavior. I need to stop it. Now. Before it gets worse.
Somehow I need to do that. Maybe tomorrow when Iâm not emotionally compromised and crying.
TEUTA MATOSHI DURIQI Couture 2020 if you want to support this blog consider donating to: ko-fi.com/fashionrunways
I love everything about this!
I do not understand community. I understand the meaning of it. But I do not understand how to do it.
I do not know how to make friends, especially with people who the only thing we have in common is children.
I do not know how to be nice to people. I can be nice, since it is a part of my job, but I do not know how to let people into the inner circle and see the real me. Not the me I portray to the general public.
Maybe that is because I do not know how to trust.
May the 10 of Pentacles bless your account with more money than you can spend. đ”âš
10 of Pentz came thruuu
Omg this actually works!!! Thank you 10 of Pentacles!!!
I could seriously use this money right nowâŠ.
Please give me my refund of 400$ soonâŠ
I feel obligated to reblog this every time it shows up in my dash
No bragging, just 100% floored and grateful. Work hard, maintain a positive attitude, and believe that anything can happen.
So I reblogged this exactly a week ago because I thought it was funny and uh lo and behold, a family friend wrote me a big olâ check just to help me out of a tough financial spot AND my bank refunded me $32 for fees theyâd originally taken out. SO UH YEAH. Reblogging this again in hopes that it brings equally good fortune to my followers.
Sure why not? Jobs bring in money and prosperityâŠ
I NEED TO FIX MY CAR DOOR
It fucking WORKED.
give me money
i canât afford to breathe
Could seriously use some extra cash- debt is piling!
Maybe, just once, I'd like someone to notice that I'm not okay.
Too many goals
At some point it's no longer effective to have 3-5 personal goals, then 3-5 professional goals and then 3-5 store goals and they all have to be different...
Why? When am I supposed to be working on the floor?!?
I can see the writing on the wall.
Cue insomnia, panic attacks, and general uneasiness.
How do I find another job with a husband who can't handle change and I'm only good at one thing?
