⥠22 year old working girl and your typical filipino panganay. Feel free to roam around my space where I may share my personal experiences or sentiments. Maybe random things that I thought of while commuting in metro? I don't know. I hope you enjoy my page! âĄ
Since this is the first time that Iâm gonna write on this blog again. I wanted to compare how I was before and how I am now. I think it is important to acknowledge how you have grown through the years, change is inevitable and good change should be acknowledged. For me, nothing is more satisfying than realizing that your are turning to a person that you will be proud of.
Most of us are raised to be pleasant, kind and more of those positive traits that our parents, teachers and sometimes our religion taught us to be. As the years go by we learn to become the opposite and actually enjoy it. I learned how to curse, to judge people and be mean to others. But that is all part of growing up, we either outgrow or keep these traits regardless if it positive or negative. That is all up to you and you alone. We have our own free will.
I know what kind of person I am and I never expected to be the girl I am today. I went through being judgmental, mean and competitive in a not so friendly way. I wouldnât say that I am not that person anymore but I manage to control my what they call today âtoxicâ traits and keep them at bay where they wouldnât hurt other peoples feeling.Â
I love how we grow emotionally as well. I could go ballistic over an argument with someone about a certain topic or situation years ago but right know I can simply disregard and just back off a conversation instead of wasting my time on arguing with someone who doesnât know how to absorb what youâre trying to point out the way you do.
If you noticed how I wrote about "Things To Realize To Get Over A Fuckboy,â 3 years ago? and how I gave my insights about relationships and break ups? I totally have a different understanding of these things now and trust me I laughed way too hard when I went over those articles of mine before. I was 19 and naive and overly emotional thatâs for sure.
Hi! Itâs me! I will try to find time and start posting again here in tumblr. Itâs finally good to be back though, and I am excited to share a lot of interesting things  again (well I hope it is interesting for you though). So much have changed and I definitely has tons of contents Iâd like to share.Â
The last time I posted on this tumblr page was 3 years ago. I was 19 back then and the last thing I shared with you guys is about a trip I had in one of Antipoloâs resorts. I didnât even know how to properly do blog that time.Â
This time I would probably share the relevant things that happened to me and experiences that you might relate to. I looked back at my posts on this page and I really had fun because I saw a lot of changes in myself and some characteristics that remained.Â
I hope this time I could write more about stuff that will actually be helpful, some real life happenings and the things that I learned as the years went by. I felt like I have grown as a person and I wanted to share it with the people who will read my articles and maybe you can pick something out of it.Â
"@blvckfame: Iâm scared that one day youâll stop loving me maybe youâll get tired of me I donât know if I can take the pain of you leaving me."
Being in a relationship with someone you seriously love is the most wonderful thing that could happen in someones life but behind all the rainbows and butterflies lives the gloomy idea of losing it in a blink of an eye. Today it is called "The Inevitable" because you can't stop it from happening, can't you?
 Have you been thinking at the back of your mind the idea of the person you love being in love with someone else? How about doubting if he/she feels the same way? You'll never know unless stated but you can never be sure. I think most of us are afraid to face this what they call "The Inevitable." Well who doesn't? Break ups are the worst, heartache is always associated with all types of aches in your body as if it can't function when you're in the middle of a heartbreak. Is it really inevitable? Does it always have to come to an end? Maybe or maybe not. The least you can do to prevent it is to love the person and show him/her that youâre happy being with them.
Love that person as if youâre the gonna lose him/her the moment after. Donât overdo this one youâll look pathetic just at the right amount without making him/her feel uneasy as if he/sheâs gonna die tomorrow. Just show your affection wherein if ever he/she broke up with you he/she canât say anything bad about you because you loved âem the way you know right.
Donât make him/her feel replaceable. Nobody wants to feel this way, donât make that person you love feel like you can find another in a snap.Â
Enjoy the moment. As much as possible try not to talk about possible break-ups and stuff, enjoy your moment together and just treasure each other.
IN CASE OF INEVITABILITY:
Even after all of the great things you did and the best you did to keep it going and still it didnât work maybe itâs not the right relationship for you. If it is, maybe itâs not yet the time for you two to work things out the way you want it to.
You may still love each other but something else is keeping you from being together well maybe because itâs how things work.
Never lose hope, never lose faith and love. True love is just around the corner and even if you found it already or youâre in the process it doesnât matter as long as you know how to love the right way.
Iâve always been that girl who has an endless list of insecurities and some people (tbh most of them) donât understand it.
Acting like you donât care about what they say but you really do.
That âwala akong pakeâ or âi donât even give a single f*ckâ type of lines that you donât really meant (even though you wish you did) because you donât want them to know that they affect you.
Remembering everything they said.
âvisible na yung blackheads moâÂ
âwhatâs your height again haha youâre so maliit?cute though.â
âbakit ang dami mong scars sa legs?â
âdo you still eat youâre like butoât balat na? / wow youâre so... uhm chubbyâÂ
Sugar coated or not, there are just things that echoes in our head. Every day we try to get rid of the flaws but itâs not easy, even if we know that they donât intent to make us feel bad about ourselves we just canât help but think that way.
Self pity.
I will never be that tall, i will never be that pretty, iâll never be like her or anyone else who matters. Frightened by the fact that even if youâre beautiful inside, no one will notice it unless youâre good-looking. Feeling miserable about yourself because you know na wala ka ng magagawa. I will never be as tall as her, my skin will never be fair like hers, and my face will always be this way and wala akong magagawa but to accept that this is me, and this is my faith.
Constantly checking if youâre still ugly.
Checking some other girlâs account to see if sheâs still killinâ it with every photo then go back to your profile to see if youâre catching up. Not because youâre competing but because you want to see if youâre improving... and realize that youâre not. Sometimes I copy the way she poses like bagay kaya sakin yung ginagawa nyang pout face na pa smile? but realize that youâre just mocking yourself and try to hold your sh*t together and try not to break down.
Not knowing how to receive compliments.
âHey! Youâre looking great tonight.â But when you looked at the mirror you saw nothing but chaotic amount of make up but still doesnât work for you. Receiving compliments that you know is not true but still is given to you to make you feel good is not cool. I am the only one who pity me, not other people because it makes me pity myself even more. This is the reason why receiving even the most sincere compliments makes it hard to believe and difficult to accept.
The desire to change.
I want my hair to be like this, i should wear heels often to look taller, i want my lips fuller, how can i make myself look curvier, i should change the way i dress, etc,. These are just some of the things that I wanted to change since then because I think itâs the way to get rid of all my insecurities. I want to be someone people will adore, remember and treasure. And you cannot be treasured if you donât look valuable just like precious stones and gems, so a gem I must become.
It is hard to live with a lot of insecurities, not all people have tons, some only have one but no one lives without any. Â It is a burden to live with it but sometimes we just have to accept it. We are all born unique but not flawless and it is upon us to learn how to live with it. A flaw is not a flaw if you learn to embrace it and live with it as if it is not an imperfection.
No my birthday is not on the 29th of April but on the 22nd. But me and my family decided to celebrate it on the 29th for some reason.
It was the most exciting, nerve wracking, and probably the most sumptuous birthday party i ever had. And probably one of the most memorable moment of my life so i really had to write something about it.
Me and my parents prepared for this a month before and we did our best to make it look simple and elegant. Every girlâs (well most of us i guess) dream is to have a grand birthday party for our 18th birthday but in my case I have to keep it modest yet classy.
My choice of venue was Ressieâs Gardenville in Cainta Rizal. The setting was so beautiful and my choice of color was black and white because I wanted my dress to stand out (to be honest I got the idea of colors from Julia Barrettoâs 18th birthday). It was exactly how I wanted it to look.Â
And as for me Iâm very satisfied with my look thank you to the hair and make up artist that my mom hired. My shoes is a Valentino Rockstud inspired heels and I bought this cute pair of earings somewhere (itâs cheaper than it looks, i still have to make tipid because there are still many things to be done and in this way iâm already helping my mom with the expenses). My gown, ugh yes my gown was designed by me of course. My favorite color, bold, striking, classic red.
The Gown!!!
Iâm the girl who loves being adored, i like standing out and catching eyes. Papansin ba ganun. So even though alam ko na Iâm going to be the princess for that night i wanted to make sure that no oneâs gonna be in the spotlight but me (Attention seeker much? Wala ng iba ako lang!) So I made the dress code black and white. Now about the dress, itâs very halata naman na itâs red, because i love red, and itâs the usual ball gown with embroideries and shiny things and i wanted it to be backless because yun yung gusto ko and itâs my party so i decide. I love this gown so much that i want to wear it everyday only if i can.
My 18 roses, candles and treasures was not complete because some of them was not able to come but still I am very lucky to have this party. My cousin played the violin for me and I danced with some of the most important men in my life, i received gifts, wishes and sweet and inspiring messages that i will treasure for as long as i live.
All in all the party was a blast, my family was there, my bestfriends, my classmates, my and all the people i expected to be there was present during my 18th Birthday and I enjoyed every minute of it. It was good while it lasted. It was one hell of a party, hoping that itâs not the last lol. Well, thatâs it! Hope I gave you a glimpse of my birthday with this little blog entry. Iâm legal!!! âș
Thereâs always that one boy (fuckboy to be exact) that will jump into your life and make you the happiest girl alive and then mess up your whole life the moment after. Most girls go through this and itâs hard darling, I know. But you have to put your shit together and get over this one and donât let the darkness devour you, help yourself move on a.s.a.p.
âIâm serious about you, youâre everything to meâ Bullshit. Forget what he said, he never meant any of those. Heâs not going to do the things you though he would when he said âIâll do everything for you because i love youâ after giving you fake forehead kisses so stop hoping for it.
Accept the fact that you are dumb enough to actually buy the sweet things he said and the fake efforts he made. The truth will set you free and the truth is you are naive girl deceived by an asshole who is now ruining your happy life. He left you hanging on to nothing and end up dating another girl thatâs even less prettier than you are a few days after you decided to finish your business. He acted as if you never knew each other and never sent a single text message since then.
And you have to realize that whatever you do he wonât drive down to your place at 2 am and stand outside the pouring rain to tell you heâs sorry. He wonât ask your friends for help because he doesnât care anymore and maybe if he did text one of your friends perhaps itâs because heâs trying to hit her too. Heâs not going to send you flowers at school and heâs not gonna bring you krispy kreme doughnuts too like what he said when he promised that he wonât disappoint you. Â
He might look like the man of your dreams, act like it and fake prove it to you but he isnât because if he is then you shouldnât be reading this right now. Heâs evil, and evil doesnât take form of the ugly creatures with green or black aura surrounding it but instead it will form into something beautiful or someone youâve always dreamed of.
Like reverse bittering, instead of thinking about the good things you thought you had together, think about the worst things he did and thatâll make you realize that thereâs nothing good to recall about him and perfectly get over that fuckboy at once.
Itâs all in the process and itâs gonna take some time but remember that time us the best healer of all. Youâll get over that silly fuckboy and find yourself laughing about it in no time. Show that dude that he shouldnât have played with a girl like you.
 Charming, smart, cute, caring, sweet and selfless?
Whatever you dream your future boyfriend will be. If this man appeared right in front of you Iâm sure that youâll do your best to be noticeably adorable and engaging so heâll approach you but what if he didnât? Maybe itâs time for you to advance.
You may think heâs the man for you but does he think youâre the woman for him?
If you think you finally found the guy you want to start a serious and long-term relationship with, you better make sure he thinks the same way about you. If a man is interested in you heâll find every little way to bump into you because if he really wants to talk to you, believe me he will. Here are some guidelines to look through if you think youâre ready to make a move and keep this guy interested in you.
Donât overplay the hard-to-get attitude.
Of course, iâm not saying go display how much you want him. But do give him a slight hint that you might give him a chance to go out with you or maybe by simply letting him have your phone number. Let him approach you, do not push him away and donât limit him by making him feel that heâs only a friend. You might regret acting up like he doesnât stand a chance to you & he might end up not trying at all.
Show him that youâre interested.
Give him a call sometimes or send a random text so he knows that you remember him. You donât wanna overdo this or youâll appear to be the clingy and needy type of girl that you donât want him âyetâ to see.
Wait for him to make plans.
I know that waiting for him to ask you out is frustrating because you know itâs possible that he may consider dating someone else but you just have to hang in there and stay calm. If you think heâs giving you enough attention then thereâs nothing to worry about. Remember asking someone out is very nerve wracking so itâs not easy for him too. So when the moment comes be sure youâre free or cancel anything planned or else you might call off the fortuity to be with the man of your dreams.
Let him notice that you care about him.
A simple âdid you have your breakfast?â for concernment or maybe âyou should smile often, itâs captivatingâ for admiration and âthank you for todayâ to show appreciation. These are some of the little things that will draw him closer to you. Just make sure itâs fair to the both of you and youâre on a stable see-saw that doesnât drastically goes up and down. Keep it balanced, itâs a matter of give and take right now (for now).
Donât be scared to ask him questions.
âDo you wanna go out again sometimes?â
âAre you officially courting me?â
âDo you want a commitment?â
âAre you serious about this?â
This is somehow very crucial. I know itâs not easy to bring up questions like these because the answers might be really frightening (trust me, i know). But boys feel the same way like the time he asked for your number, the first time he asked you out or the moment he asked if he could get a kiss. Remember that these questions are the beeping signal that he needs to move the relationship forward and if he tries dodging or disregarding your questions iâm telling you to get the broom and sweep the junk out.
Donât fight.
An early relationship should be exciting and fun! Thereâs no time to fight and itâs too early to fight. Donât get mad at him for simple reasons and you just started so there should be no room for it. Though this is inevitable for every relationship but learn to forgive your man and he will do the same. Maximize the happy moments and minimize the wrangles. Stay away from complications by simply telling each other how you feel (which is hard, i know) but itâs the most effective way to understand each other.
Go slowly but surely.
This, my dear is a very special tip. Since this is the man of your dreams we are talking about and you want him to be your long-term boyfriend you donât want to rush things. I repeat âlong-term boyfriendâ and you donât want to rush things. You want this guy to stay with you for as long as you can imagine and that doesnât mean a month or two. Most relationships today doesnât even last a week because of the fact that people scamper like a child to get into a relationship like âoh! we met yesterday, had fun today and weâll be breaking up tomorrowâ. I mean if you want this to last you gotta make sure that youâre both on the same page, that youâre both serious and willing to commit each other. And be patient, thatâs the key.
But of course these are just simple recommendations from a simple girl who promotes long-term relationships and believes in true love even if itâs already 2015. However there are no guidelines or doâs & donâts that will always be exactly helpful because relationships are hard and will always be hard but the right ones are always worth it.Â
A better love life to all of us! Comments are appreciated and may be given through the ask page.
Knowing that college girls like us are only a couple of years away from the real world with real work, we should already have plans for the future. Ambitious women like us should always be one step ahead and swear to our future Louis Vuitton bags and Louboutin pumps that we will never settle for less. I have here a checklist of goals for my fellow gals who wants to be labeled âMs. Independentâ.
1. Get your dream job.
Honey if you can visualize yourself still depending on your parentâs money 3-5 years from now you are not on the right path. Iâm not trying to say get out of your parents house and live on your own right now but if you want to be independent start off by earning your own money. Go get your requirements and resume and head to the company of your dreams and make sure that youâre going to love that job because if you love what you do then it wonât even look like a job! Start low (but if you can hit a higher target in the first try then why not?) and start saving. Do not! Seriously do not spend your salary in a shopping spree (yet)! You have to save baby girl! Always remember that thereâs a bigger future for that money you got.Â
2. Get yourself a place of your own.
From time to time you wonât realize how much money youâre making if and only if you save properly. And the next thing you want to provide yourself is a cozy little apartment! Remember, it doesnât have to be big but you have to make it comfortable because itâs where you will reward yourself a goodnight sleep, maybe just an afternoon nap or a late night chill. You just have to put all your stuff in your cozy space and decorate it the way you want because itâs yours! Just keep in mind that youâre paving your way to the top so itâs okay to begin with a dainty apartment up to a bigger and nicer one! See at this point of time youâre not even depending on your parents for a place to sleep. Wow such an independent woman.
3. Treat yourself right!
Nothing is better than spoiling yourself sometimes. Maybe a day out with friends, shopping, eating at somewhere nice, shopping, out of town with your family or maybe shopping? (did i mention shopping that much?) I believe that most females sees shopping a very stress relieving habit. Buying something nice for yourself for getting a promotion or even without getting any promotion wonât hurt nobody right? As long as we donât overspend of course. If you know you have a little to much money why not spend it on something that will make you feel rewarded right? Every independent woman deserves to be happy! See you donât even have to have a boyfriend to buy you nice things! All you need is your happy self and your wallet.
4. A sweet ride.
No way! Youâre taking the train with your newly bought Louboutins!? Hell no girl! Go get yourself a ride and keep that gorgeous and expensive heels comfortable. Youâre not making those babies suffer the wrath of the city pavements. You made money and bought designer shoes because you feel like it, now get yourself something nice that has four wheels and will take you to gorgeous places (and yes that includes work). Look at you, youâre the girl of any manâs dreams, successful, beautiful, and holla at that vroom vroom! I bet they wonât approach you if they know your shoes are worth double their paycheck.
5. Someone Special
Lastly and optional, you might want to get someone who will support you and love you even if you donât feel like you need it. A man who will see you as a simple girl tryna make her dreams turn into reality. Itâs not bad to be devoted to those dreams but it would be triple the fun and excitement when youâre pursuing it with someone who will help you get up and fix your shit together whenever youâre ready. Well you know what they say âno man is an islandâ âș
PS: this will take time and patience.
So goodluck Future Ms. Independent! Show the world your worth.
