surbhi

her/theirs. only for love.

[lovelettersandjournals]

i want so much that’s not here and i don’t know where to go

i try to write something but my words feel like they are broken.

wrote another essay for Substack. you may sit with me while i lend my thoughts open <3

[barghestia]

love is not control, love is not a locked door. people are free to come into your life and leave as they will. the people who matter will show up for you and forgive you and choose you. you're going to be okay. you're going to miss people and you're going to meet new ones. you'll fall in love with new cities and you'll make a new favorite meal. letting go is what makes it stay, so let go.

[lovelettersandjournals]

i do think sitting with your grief for a longer time makes you forget it. my words start fumbling if i speak about my feelings for too long. the grief doesn’t actually goes away. but i believe it just hides away in deep corners. like you do feel it in the pit of your stomach and the depth of your heart but it disappears from the surface. and that’s why you can never tell any body why you are feeling low or disappointed.

[dogpuppy]

[kosmogrl]

[lovelettersandjournals]

the intimacy of speaking through the eyes.

[lovelettersandjournals]

it’s okay if we aren’t mean to be, you can keep pretending to be mine and i can keep pretending to be yours

[lovelettersandjournals]

—surbhi via lovelettersandjournals

[diary entry dated feb 28, ‘25]

[lovelettersandjournals]

once in awhile, you feel so many emotions all at once that you freeze. you become numb. i think numbness is not feeling nothing, it is rather feeling everything. and it all gets tangled up. you are unable to name the emotions. so you just say you don’t feel anything. that you are numb.

[lovelettersandjournals]

believe me taking long walks at night is better than throwing hands.

[lovelettersandjournals]

let yourself be a human.

i sit here in silence.

wrote something awhile ago <3 give it a read if you are having a hard time sitting with your emotions :)

[lovelettersandjournals]

at times, i feel putting him into poems might draw him closer to me but instead, i only discover the depth of longing and the ache of what can’t be reached. how much more i’ve yet to yearn.

[lovelettersandjournals]

to be honest, i just get distracted easily, even from suffering. i can’t even focus my mind on where and why it is hurting, for a long time.

[lovelettersandjournals]

i may act nonchalant but my head keeps hurting, i wanna lay my head in his lap and want him to message my hairs

[tuhainkahan]

“why do you always leave without saying anything?” my (ex) best friend asked me.

“people leave when they have nothing left to say.” i replied.

[lettersinarchive]

“something so terrible inside my chest, like a hollowness, a void and the remembrance of you not being mine.”

— lettersinarchive.

[lovelettersandjournals]

letter to my 19 year old self

things which carried me this year and continues to carry me further.

published my second article on Substack and yapped a lot in it, so please give it a try <3