Home Is Wherever Im With You @lovelybones-lonelyhearts - Tumblr Blog

I've realized I'm so annoying and overwhelming almost every one hates me. Lovely.

oift-deactivated20200815

There wasn’t yelling. There wasn’t fighting. There wasn’t “fuck you” and “I never loved you” and “I’m not going to miss you.”

There were two tired hearts. Still beating, but no longer in sync. Four eyes that never seemed to meet at the same time. Twenty fingers that no longer entwined. Two pairs of lips that hadn’t met in months.

So we said goodbye. We said we’d keep in touch. We said “good luck,” and we meant it. And it hit me:

I spent so long being mad at you, that I forgot you were human, too. That we were both flawed. That I loved you, I loved you, I loved you.

I still do.

“i’m sorry for not realizing you were doing your best”

fadedheartbreq-blog

“when you left there was a lot of rain. And I don’t mean just outside, I mean everything was just very gloomy and dark. I remember there was a lot of tears and not just regular tears.. there was sitting on the bathroom floor tears, breaking down at our favorite makeout parking place tears, crying in the shower tears, having a panic attack the first time I saw you since we said goodbye tears. just a lot of tears. It was the type of pain that I always felt, it was just always there, my heart just felt so damn empty all the time. everything hurt more without you & I couldn’t stand the intensity of my feelings and the lack of yours… I just couldn’t believe how one-sided things could be. I’ve been trying to distract myself from all this pain but it always comes back to you. I will never not wish that things could have worked out between us. I wish we could have been more, I so badly wish things could have been different with us. but they aren’t and I have to wake up every morning knowing that.”

— Journal entry October 17, 2018

carsonsucks

xhondervishi-deactivated2022082

You don't know pain until you gotta force your heart to stop loving somebody.

it eats me alive.

“I don’t understand. I can’t understand. I will never want to understand. How you could hurt me when I put my blind trust into you? How you could betray me when you clearly knew my feelings? I suppose it’s better this way—for me to not understand, for me to simply continue hating you. This way, I don’t have to believe that you did something acceptable.”

— this way, you were never real.

#laylay