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Clarice Lispector, A Breath of Life

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I have been thinking a lot about "Anticipatory grief " lately.

"I love you so much that, I know one day losing you will be devastating for me. I haven't lost you yet but I already miss you, we still have time, but it won't be enough for me. I think about how much I will miss those sweet and sarcastic talks with you. How much I will miss those days while we sit near the river and talk to each other about our day and our lives. I think, I will miss listening to new soothing music with you, you always have had an excellently unique taste in music, my love. I think about what I would say at your funeral, and say some of it to you now cause, I need you to know how loved you, before you drift away in the midst of lost souls. You will go where I cannot follow you, but I know you will never really leave me, you will be here to take me with you, one day when everything turns quiet, your voice will be only voice calling me, it won't make it hurt less but it is a part of healing somehow".

Wrote the old man looking at his lover sleeping peacefully by his side.