...warnings…anxiety attack, mentions of not eating, insomnia
...characters...Y/N, (OC) Lilith, (OC) June, Chan, Jisung, Hyunjin(rest of members mentioned)
...synopsis...No one ever really knows what they wanna do in their 20s, but Y/N has always known what she was going to do. So, she began the journey to her dream and is so close to reaching it with no distractions at all. Until she is thrown into a project with Hyunjin, a fellow senior in college, and he introduces her to a few of his friends...connecting with one in particular...
Her whole plan is soon thrown off the track she’s had it on for 21 years….
A/N: I haven’t properly edited this chapter yet, but I wanted to get something out.
Now that our regular class finals were over, Hyunjin and I were working overtime for the day we had left for our project. We were so close to getting where we needed it to be for his presentation of it and I was getting antsy. Currently, I was holed up in the producing studio I knew that later he would be at the dance studio across town. And, if I am being honest, I haven’t spoken to anyone in almost two days. Not even Hyunjin to discuss the project, granted he was too busy perfecting his routine to notice. In turn, this meant that I haven’t properly eaten… I had no one to drag me for coffee and something to eat and I have been too wrapped up in either the studio or my room on my computer to notice anything else.
My phone has long been put on Do Not Disturd and I was finally getting somewhere with the background vocals. I’ve never been this picky with my songs, but I think since the main music part is mostly just me, I am overthinking it. I’ve never had to do main vocals and I am by far the best singer there is, but in the end had to for this so I’m kind of stuck with it.
Although it was on Do Not Disturb, my phone would still occasionally light up with various notifications, and the last time it did, it was 5AM. My body was aching and I was having a hard time keeping my eyes open. I knew I was not going to be able to continue on properly with being as tired as I was and I hadn’t slept in over 24 hours and a little nap wouldn’t hurt. I set an alarm on my phone for 45 minutes and rolled up my hoodie as a make-shift pillow and I rested my head on it and let sleep take me in it’s comforting embrace.
-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-
I was awoken by someone’s hand on my shoulder, calling my name. It was Han Jisung. How the hell did he get in here? I shoot up straight and look around, slightly confused as to where I was…but it all floods back rather quickly, “Ji? What are you doing here?”
He meekly brushed a few strands of hair out of my face as he responded, “I was getting a studio for Chris and I before he got here and the receptionist asked me to check in on the person in here because they’ve been in here since yesterday morning…have you eaten anything, Y/N?”
I stretch widely and got up, back to my seat at the desk and shake my head, “Too busy. I’m okay, though- thank you for checking on me I probably needed to wake up soon anyway-wait…what time is it?” My body panics slightly.
Jisung looks down at his watch and responds, “It’s 6:30, why?”
“Shit, I was supposed to be awake an hour ago…it’s okay, Ji. Again, thank you, but I have to get back to work. But, please tell the receptionist I’m okay.” I dismiss him rather quickly.
He mutters something as he walks out hesitantly.
I continue to work, going in and out of the recording booth…deleting and rerecording clips here and there, adjusting the bass and trebel, the balance between vocals and instrumentals, going back through the whole song until I was satisfied. Which eventually happened. Only, it was 8:45 by the time that happened. But, finally I was done…and it was basically a whole new song, for the most part. I knew by this time Hyunjin would be at the dance studio, so I decided to head straight there.
Picking up is favorite drink along the way, which the shop owner decided to give me for free this morning for some reason, I made it to the studio by 9 exactly. I quietly made my way into the building, trying not to disrupt anyone and found Hyunjin stretching to soft music. The temperature outside left a bite of cold in the air in the studio, but I’m sure once he got moving he would be grateful for the temperature.
I mumbled a ‘good morning’ to my friend as I handed him his drink and I sat on the couch, legs folded under me. The tall man went from being on the floor to towering over me in a heartbeat.
“So I got a call from Jisung this morning…” he started off.
“Oh, yeah? Saw him this morning briefly, one of the few people who have woken me up that haven’t gotten their eyes clawed out, by the way.” I respond with a gravelly voice.
“Mhm, he told me that you haven’t been out of the studio in almost 24 hours?” He states frustratedly.
“Yes, I got caught up, what’s the big deal, Hyun?”
“The big deal is that you haven’t eaten either, Y/N…you need to eat, and sleep.”
“Don’t worry, I grabbed a snack on my way here, ate it already…mom.” I mumble the last part, because I felt like I was being scolded by my mom.
“Okay, well you probably didn’t eat enough, so what is going to happen is you are going to take a nap here so I know you are actually sleeping and once you are awake, we are going to get you some real food.”
“I’m not gonna say no to sleep right now, that’s for sure.”
He tosses me his hoodie and I opt to use that as a blanket, once again, I fall asleep rather quickly and stay that way, even over the music and the dancing in the background. You would think the sounds would keep me from falling asleep, normally they probably would, but in the moment, they lull me to sleep instead.
I only wake up once and it was when Felix and Chris stopped by, Chris had a blanket in hand and was more than ready to swap out Hyunjin’s hoodie for a proper blanket. He sat next to me, just above my head…and for some reason, I rested my head on his thigh. He stilled for a moment, before relaxing and laying his hand on my arm. I couldn’t help but fall asleep once again.
-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-
I wake up from the feeling of strong nausea. And an extremely tight chest…
I shoot up from my position on the couch, interrupting whatever conversation everyone was having, and darting to the bathroom. Nothing came up, but I sat there dry heaving for a while. I’ve always hated getting sick in this way, I always felt helpless and no matter what, I always wanted my mom. I suddenly started crying, I felt like shit, hungry but too nauseous to eat.
My blood sugar was definitely low and my mental health was now taking a drop. And I realize how hard it was getting to breathe.My breaths come out in sporadic huffs as I try to catch my breath just so I could begin to take slow breaths, to calm myself down. I didn’t want anyone to see me like this, especially not Chris. With shaky hands I message Hyunjin, asking him to come into the bathroom.
Within a couple of minutes, he’s running into the enclosed space. My hair, once pulled up into a bun, was now hanging in the hair tie by my shoulders. It was hot, too hot and I felt like I was going to throw up, even though I knew I couldn’t. He took a hair tie off his wrist and pulls my hair up, my head lulls back as he does so and he grabs my hand and sets it over his heart. There’s a loud roaring in my ears and I can hardly hear what he is saying but by the gesture, I understand that he is attempting to get me to breathe at the rate he was.
Suddenly he grabs his phone and dials someone, I still can’t hear him and I am at the point where I genuinely feel like I’m dying. My chest hurts, my throat hurts, and my lungs are beginning to ache from lack of proper oxygen. I see Hyunjin stand up and pull away to wet his hands under the faucet, coming back to put cool water on my forehead and the base of my neck. Out of the corner of my eye I see movement, but am unable to focus…or even care. Hyunjin goes out of view and Chris comes into view, my hand is pulled to his chest and his heartbeat is more noticeable than Hyun’s. He grabs my face so that I am looking at him in the eye and I begin to faintly hear him,” In, out, in out.”
He keeps a steady tempo to it as he continues to instruct my breathing and he hesitates to ask, “Would it be better if I hugged you?”
I nodded, knowing that deep pressure has helped with attacks like this in the past for me, and once he wraps his arms around me, I am able to relax. My breathing doesn’t let up right away, and I am a little more aware my my surroundings, but I am able to request that he hug me tighter. I sigh out in relief once he gives me what I ask and I rest my head on his shoulder, noticing that Hyunjin had left.
Once I calm down a bit more, he asks if I need a minute alone. I nod my head in response, needing to wet the cotton-mouth I have going on. He lets me know he was just going to be back in the studio whenever I was ready to come back. I rinsed out my mouth and walked out the door anyway, wiping the tears that gathered in my eyes. As I entered the dance studio, I noticed we had a few more additions to our little gathering. Everyone was here at this point, I made eye-contact with Chris as everyone still socialized amongst each other and signaled for him to come outside the door. I saw him grab my bag and say something to Hyunjin before following me out.
He made sure the door closed behind him as I spoke, “I think I’m gonna head home, I’m just not feeling it.”
He watched me closely before taking a deep breath through his nose, “Not feeling it, or not feeling good?”
“Both?” I stated, unsure.
“Have you eaten anything?” He asked, knowing the answer already.
“No.”
“Let’s eat before you go home.”
“Chris, I’m not really-”
“No, for my peace of mind, I need to see you eat something. Jisung told me how he found you and that you hadn’t eaten. You need to eat, even if it’s something small.”
I think about it before giving in and he’s driving us to a local cafe.
Chris and I sat and ate for about an hour before he took me back to my apartment, walking me up.
I felt the warmth of his body following behind me, guarding me…like I’m going to run at the first possible moment. I knew he was worried about me, he was the only one who really hid it well around me. And the past few weeks we’ve grown closer, we’ve gotten each other to open up and have even spoken countless times through text and over the phone. It was in this moment I truly felt feelings friends aren’t supposed to have for each other. I wanted nothing but him in my life. In this moment everything was quiet with him, the stress was gone when I was with him. I was happy and safe when I was with him.
With him, everything was perfect.
I pulled my keys out of the pocket of my coat, in doing so my bag slid off my shoulder. He caught it, slipping it off my arm so that he could hold it. Before I could turn the knob to open the door, he softly grasped my upper arm, “Y/N, wait…”
My head cocks slightly to the side, “What’s wrong? Are you okay?”
He looked like he was in pain, like, physical pain. I grab his hand off my arm, my fingers knotting with his and let out a hum in questioning, asking for an answer. He nods his head and whispers, “Yeah, I’m okay, I just…”
He suddenly pulled me closer to him, still speaking in a low voice, “Tell me if you don’t want this.”
“Want wha”
He kissed me, and it took a heartbeat for me to completely wrap my head around it and reciprocate but once I did oh. I parted my lips, asking…begging for more. I hear my bag drop to the ground as he brings one hand up my body to rest on my hip, the other on my jaw, the tips of his fingers curling in my hair. I pulled him closer by his waist, wanting our bodies welded together at this point. I take a chance and nibble on his lower lips, earning a groan from deep in his throat. My body filled with heat and I wanted more. But I didn’t get more. He pulled away, his body tense and shaking slightly.
“Yeah, I’m okay, pretty girl.” He said to me, still holding me close to his body. For a few moments, we stayed like that. Until he pressed a few more light kisses to my lips, then my right cheek, left cheek, forehead,nose, jaw, and finally to my neck. I gasped from the sensation, my body still humming.
He actually pulled away this time, leading my body back and handed my bag back to me, turning the knob that I had barely gotten a chance to unlock before he kissed me. He turned my body, pressed a chaste kiss on the crown of my head before leading me in my shared apartment.”I will see you later, pretty girl. Get some sleep, yeah?”
I nodded, pressing my lips into a fine line, closing the door as he walked away.
------------------
Thank you for reading, let me know what you thought!
…pairing…Chan x reader
…w.c…2.4k
…genre…slice-of-life, college au!
…warnings…swearing,
…characters…Y/N, (OC) Lilith, (OC) June
…synopsis…No one ever really knows what they wanna do in their 20s, but Y/N has always known what she was going to do. So, she began the journey to her dream and is so close to reaching it with no distractions at all. Until she is thrown into a project with Hyunjin, a fellow senior in college, and he introduces her to a few of his friends…connecting with one in particular…
Her whole plan is soon thrown off the track she’s had it on for 21 years….
-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-
“Shhh, you’re gonna wake them up, pabo.”
“Well with your loud feet, it’ll be you first.”
“Ooh, go get Lilith, she’d kill to see this.”
“She’s sleeping, leave her alone, I already took a picture.”
“Okay, prev.”
“Han, Hyunjin, if you two don’t get out of my room, you can find somewhere else to sleep tonight. She’s still asleep and I’d like to keep it that way.” I feel Chris’ chest vibrate slightly as he threatens his two best friends.
I was too embarrassed to open my eyes and look at the man who held me while I cried for 45 minutes last night, so I keep my eyes screwed shut as I heard shuffling down the hallway. I feel a comforting weight on my hip, leading to my back and feel him pull me closer to his body. I stir slightly and he tenses up briefly and his breathing isn’t as deep as it was, but I hear the rhythmic beat inside of his chest speed up to a quick tempo. I knew that I couldn’t stay here much longer, so I weakly opened my eyes and glanced at him through my lashes.
We lay there in a silent understanding, what happened last night wasn’t going to be mentioned…he knew I was embarrassed by the sudden show of emotion I sprung on him. He pauses as he begins to pull away from me, looking as if he’s having a fight-or-flight response. For a heartbeat, he embraces me properly and plants a kiss to my temple. Feather-soft and so quick I feel as if I imagined it, “I’ll be here to catch you at your lowest.”
So quiet I barely hear it…am I still drunk?
Swiftly he pulls away and gets up from his position on the bed, leaving me feeling cold. He slips out the cracked door and I begin to get up as well, knowing I need to brush my teeth,
----------
“Y/N, you know we are both not going to stop bothering you about this. What happened last night…and this morning?” June begged for me to reveal what I’ve kept from them since we left the apartment.
She was right, I knew I was not going to stop hearing about this unless I talked to them about it. So, I turned around as we were approaching our dorm door, “I’ll tell you if you tell me. Where did you and Felix run off to last night?” My eyebrow so high, it was probably found orbiting the planet.
We all shuffled into our living area and they sit down, ready for a de-brief. Before I continue the conversation, I pull out a few mugs and begin to make us all coffee, knowing we each had a massive hangover and were in desparate need of caffeine. The aroma of the dark roast wafts through the kitchen and makes it’s way into the open living room.
The two of them scatter to the hot mugs that made their homes on the counter, waiting to be picked up and the contents customized. “So, in the time that you two managed to sneak out and the hour you were gone, what did you even do?” June is prodding much more than I would expect out of her.
I shrug in response, “Like I told Lils last night, we just walked to get food. I hadn’t eaten all day and he offered to go with me.”
Lilith takes a break from drinking her coffee and peers at the two of us over the rim of her purple Kuromi mug, “Both of you have a lot of explaining to do, that’s for damn sure. First, you- Miss Innocent,” she eyes June, my own finding hers as she laughs nervously, “I know Fefe over there definitely has a thing for you - I mean who wouldn’t, look at you…and you can cook. You’re like every traditional guy’s walking wet dream.”
The three of us laugh briefly before June speaks, “Honestly, Felix and I just talked, kind of just got to know each other a little better. You know, he told me he bakes as a hobby. He makes brownie batches for the rest of the kids pretty frequently.”
“Ohh yes, and they are divine!” I answer excitedly “what? Hyunjin brought some to practice once…they’re so melt-in-your-mouth good. You should convince him to make you some one day.”
We silently continue to drink our coffee and I can tell Lilith has finished hers by the way she looks back at me, “Now you, ma’am have explaining to do for the two of us. Chris?”
I shrug and slightly zone-out, focusing on a light that reflected off the coffee table in front of me, “I already told you what happen-”
“But how did you end up in his bed this morning?” Lilith interrupts me.
This time I sigh, “After everyone fell asleep, I couldn’t get comfortable and had to go to the bathroom then we ran into each other in the hall. We talked for a little and he offered me his bed because I told him I was on the couch and…” my cheeks grew warm remembering how open I was being with him.
“And…?” June was literally at the edge of her seat.
“We talked about family…how I missed mine and how he missed his-let’s just say the night ended with me crying in this man’s bed and telling him how bad of a daughter I felt like I was and how Jeongin reminded me of my little brother.”
“Definetly not the turn I thought that was going to take, but so cute for sure.I give it a month.” Lilith suggests.
I still don’t get why people keep saying things like that, “What’s that about?”
“You’ll see.”
We leave the subject as is and socialize about our finals that we have to finish taking today and tomorrow. I had three left total, my project with Hyunjin due in three days-the project I was definitely the most stressed about. June seemed to have her recipe down, just a few tweaks in the presentation of it and she’ll ace it. As for Lilith, she’s got everything on lock-down, she wants us to see it when it’s ready. All I have heard about the project has been from Chris and all I could get out of him was that it was going to be “the cutest thing ever”. Based on his hesitence to tell be and the way he told me, I really don’t believe the man.
June breaks the silence by announcing that she has to get dressed and bathed so she can go to class to take one of her other finals. As soon as she leaves the room a practically jump on Lilith and rush out a quick sentence, “Now we have to find out how to get them together, they would be so cute oh my gosh.”
Her eyes widen, “Bitchhh I was just about to say the same thing! Couple of the year type-shit.”
“Okay,game plan…”
------
Sitting in a quiet room…deafening kind of quiet is the one thing that can drive me to the brink of insanity. I always hated taking tests, not because of the pressure, but because I am unable to focus on anything but what is going on in my brain. With how quiet the room is, I feel like I can hear all the electricity moving in my brain at the moment. I put all my focus into remembering the answer of the simple question in front of me. It is literally the last question of the test and I have 30 minutes left to finish.
Once I make my final choice, I to a quick double-take on all my answers and make sure everything is the way I need it before taking it back up to the professor and she reminds me that I am free to leave since I am finished. She wishes me to be safe and that she would see me next week for our last class of the semester.
As I walk out the door of the room, I hear my phone ping with a text.
H: Meet me at the studio ASAP
M: On my way now
Luckily the studio isn’t that far from the class I just left, so I begin the short trek there as I ponder on how I did on the test. I’ve been stressing this test the most, but I knew by the study guides that most of the questions had a “two choice answer” giving you a second best to trip you up.
I walk through the corridor of the university’s study section, seeing many familiar faces. Once I get to the desk, the receptionist immediately recognises me and simply says, “Studio 8.” and hands me the keycard to the door. Before I could get to the door, Hyunjin calls me.
“Y/Nnie, before you get here, could you pick up a few drinks?”
“Hyun, I’m already here…” I open the door, absolutely expecting to see this fool holding his phone against his face.
“How are you already here?”
Instead I am met with a face I’ve quickly become fond of.
From the other side of the room, the man speaks, “Y/N, how did you-”
“I think the receptionist may have mistaken me for someone else. So sorry, Chris.” And I just leave the room, extremely confused.
On the other end of the phone I hear Hyunjin ask, “Y/Nnie? I meant the dance studio, I probably should’ve specified.”
“You think so, dumbass?”
I hang up and fumble to put my phone in my hoodie pocket, nearly being hit by the door behind me.
“Oh, Y/N I’m sorry, I didn’t think you’d be-”
“No, no, Chris, you’re good, I shouldn’t have been standing so close to the door to begin with.”
A smile made it’s way to his face, “I was just finishing up, actually, did you need to use the studio?”
I shake my hand in a decline, “No, not yet, Hyunjin just forgot to specify which studio to meet him at and I guess the receptionist just got a bit mixed up with who was in each studio…I was actually headed to the dance studio.”
He scratched the back of his neck slightly, “Would you want a ride there? I’ve nothing to do basically the rest of the day and before you say ‘no’, the studio isn’t very far from the apartment any way.”
I give in probably a little too quickly, but the shuttle traffic around this time is dreadful. I give him a little warning that Hyunjin asked for drinks, which he obliged to easily.
------------
I don’t know who his mother is but she raised a man, that’s for sure…and I mean a man. As we approached his car, he opened the door for me repeated his actions of the previous time he picked me up…only that time we had the girls with us. I don’t know what came over me, but as he drove, he kept one hand on the wheel and the other on the center console between us and I couldn’t help but eye them.
The human body, in a way, was such a beautiful thing. The Greeks were right to make all the art they did based off human anatomy. Which is what I couldn’t help but compare him to right now…from his veinous hands to his broad shoulders that I could still see a proper outline of through his thick hoodie, and finally to his neck. I could see his steady pulse beat at the base of it, just where his hoodie began and I knew it wasn’t polite to stare, not in the slightest but something just drew me to him.
Suddenly, he turned on his blinker and stopped the car, indicating we arrived at the convenience store just a block away from our destination.
The two of us got out of the car and properly greeted the store owner once inside. I searched for the drink I knew Hyunjin always asked for when we bought from here and once found, I grabbed my a few of them. I grabbed a drink of my own as well as a snack for the two of us, Chris following me in silence the whole way. Approaching the counter, she gave me the total and before I could even pull out my wallet, he’s already inserting his into the card reader.
My head swivels to his figure and I begin to open my mouth he shushes me, “Too late, already paid for.”
“Well, thank you…you know you didn’t have to, right?” I spout.
He grabs the bag off the counter and thanks the owner and leads me back to the car, “Yes, but I wanted to.”
The bag is placed in the back floorboard and we head back on our way to the studio. The trip was short, of course…and something in me wished for it to be longer. Once he found proper parking and we both got out, I offered to carry the bag and he declined…several times. He leads us to the front door, letting me punch in the code before I lead us to the room where Hyunjin was.
The energy inside was definitely high, our song going in the back. I open the door and was greeted with a oud scream from no one else but Han Jisung, “Well look what we have here! Hyung I have tried to find you for a few hours! Now,” his voice lowers now that the music has lowered and that the pair of us were a lot closer, “ I see where you have been.”
Hyunjin snagged the bag from Chris and thanks him breathlessly. Hyunjin and I begin getting caught up in our own conversation as Jisung and Chris get caught up in their own mini-heated argument.
My dark-haired friend begins downing his first drink before he starts teasing me about walking in with Chris, which is exactly what I expected from him.
“So has he kissed you, yet?” he asked me with wide eyes.
“Hwang Hyunjin, we are just friends.” I hit him on the shoulder, heating up in the face slightly.
“Well, no one seems to have told him that yet. Cue the heart eyes.” He states bluntly and he begins to take another drink. Only, as he does so, I squeeze the bottom of his bottle that isn’t covered by his large hand and he sputters and chokes slightly from the intrusion of liquid that goes up his nose.
“Thanks for that…”
--------------
Thank you for reading, let me know what you all thought!
...synopsis...No one ever really knows what they wanna do in their 20s, but Y/N has always known what she was going to do. So, she began the journey to her dream and is so close to reaching it with no distractions at all. Until she is thrown into a project with Hyunjin, a fellow senior in college, and he introduces her to a few of his friends...connecting with one in particular...
Her whole plan is soon thrown off the track she’s had it on for 21 years….
-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-
“Minho, I’m telling you it won’t be that bad, just come over for a little bit.” I plead with my brother over the phone. Lilith, June, and I were all getting ready to go out with the boys. Lilith has dubbed the group “The KIds” because they act as such at times around each other. I am begging my brother to come, he’s been friends with a few of them for a few years, so he knows the group…and I haven’t seen him in a couple months.
“It’s not that I don’t want to come, Y/N, it’s that I have plans already with Jihyun…it’s our one year and I’m kind of planning something big.” He quietly tells me. Then it dawns on me…he’s going to propose to her! I am not going to stand in the way of him doing so, I love Jihyun, she’s an angel and definitely balances out my brothers asshole personality.
I sigh, defeated, but understood, “Okay, but you two be safe…and don’t do anything I wouldn’t do.” We said our goodbyes and let each other go so each of us could get ready for our respective plans.
I let the girls know that we’d be one kid short, but they were both familiar with Minho anyway from many visits to see my family they tagged along on. We all bonded as we got ready, June asking if her outfit looked okay, whilst her makeup was perfect…as always. One of us were blasting music, not too concerned about getting a noise complaint. Most of our neighbors were older, mostly deaf people who loved all of us anyway. I sat in the bathroom sink, setting braids in my hair to tame the rat’s nest that didn’t want to lay down no matter what I tried.
I begin humming along to the song I figured out was coming from June’s room:
You’re the only one who makes me laugh
So, how can my day be bad?
It’s a day for you
Coffee in the morning, you and the sun
There’s a brown hue in your eyes
How pretty it is
I think I’m in love
Once my hair is put up, I go with simple makeup, not skilled or patient enough to do a full glam look. A pink hue brushes across my lids, glitter catching in the right lighting. I feel giddy for some reason, but chalk it up to meeting a few new people.
I look at my watch, it reading 6:32PM, and a text from Hyunjin comes through.
H: Chris is out getting some drinks for tonight, do any of you have a preference of alcohol?
M: Lilith is a tequila girl, I’m sure any brand is fine…June is a fruity girl, so sweet wines or Margarita’s are her thing, and I’m sure anything you guys have will be fine with me! We’re finishing up and will make our way over there.
H: I’ll let him know, and how are you getting here? Bus?
M: That was the plan
H: Don’t worry about it, I’ll have him pick you up-I have your address saved, so I’ll just send it to him!
I sent him a “thumbs up” emoji and go to my room to get dressed. Deciding on a casual street look, I let them know that we were going to be picked up. I turn off all the unnecessary lights and wait in the kitchen for them, sipping on a glass of water until they’re ready. I hear my phone ping from my side pocket, pulling it out I see a message from an unknown number.
“Who’s that, Hyunjin? We’re ready, just gotta throw our shoes on.” June informs me as I open the message.
UNKN: Hi, Y/N, it’s Chris, Hyunjin gave me your number-I hope you’re okay with that. But, I’m pulling up outside your apartment whenever you’re ready.”
M: You’re good, I don’t have an issue with it! We just have to out our shoes on and we’ll be out there!
C: Sounds good, I’m the only car out here, I won’t be hard to spot!
The three of us throw our shoes on our shoes and meet Chris, who is standing by the front passengers side of the car, on the phone with who I quickly learn is Changbin.
“No, Bin, I’m not gonna do that. I’l explain later, we’re headed back, yeah,yeah,yeah…”he hangs up and smiles at us with his warm smile that makes you feel like nothing could go wrong in the world. He opens the rear door first, my two friends all but throwing themselves into the backseat. He turns to me, “So much like the kids, huh?”
I put my hand on his shoulder, “Oh, baby, you don’t know the half of it.”
His laugh makes something in me stir, not unwelcome, just foreign…and he opens my door, his hand acting like a cradle for my head and he closes it behind me. Before he could make it to the driver’s side I hear from the backseat,”Bitch, I’m telling you…”
I sharply ‘shush’ both of them and he climbs into the driver’s seat, checking the rearview mirror before driving to our destination.
-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-
We’re welcomed by a loud ‘hurrah’ once we enter the large apartment, Han taking the drinks I insisted I take from Chris, who also had his hands full. Once we all settle down…as much as that way possible. We all mingle and get comfortable with each other rather quickly, Han velcroing himself to me as soon as we sat down. He and I talked mainly about my brother, the two of them being pen pals for forever and finally meeting when they happened to meet at college, which Lee Know graduated last year since he started early. I found myself being so fond of every single person here.
After being so focused on studying and trying to make everything perfect, it’s so nice to be able to relax a little bit. After a few glasses of wine, it dawns on me that I haven’t eaten anything all day and I’m feeling warm. I decide to break away from the group to head to the kitchen for a much needed glass of water. I easily find where the kept their mugs, regular glasses not so much, so I settled for a cute mug that looked like it was handmade. I use the water dispenser on the fridge and nearly down what I put in the cup, filling it up as quickly as I downed it.
There’s a shuffling behind me and I slowly turn and see Chris, who’s neck is probably the same shade as my face right now.
“You okay?” He asks, his accent thick and low in his throat.
“Uh, yeah, I just realized that I hadn’t really eaten anything today, so I’m feeling the alcohol more than I normally would.” I giggle out, embarrassed.
His mouth takes shape in an ‘o’ and he quickly rummages through the fridge, asking me if there’s anything I was craving.
“Now that you ask, I’m really craving some Taiyaki, it sounds sooo good right now. But, I’m not too picky.”
He pulls his phone out of his back pocket and begins scrolling, “There’s a place a few blocks down that’s still open if you’re down to walk.”
I smile, closing my eyes in bliss from the sweet treat I am going on a journey for, “Sounds amazing, I’m down for anything as long as it involves Taiyaki.”
He leads me to the front door, somehow avoiding the large group in the living room, who were now playing Truth or Dare. I could hear Changbin and Seungmin shouting profanities at eachother as Chris closed the door.
We walk side-by-side, starting off with a bit of small talk. We find ourselves walking half a normal pace, taking fifteen minutes to get to the small hole-in-the-wall street stand. Chris practically begged to pay, which I wasn’t given much of a choice considering I had left my wallet at his apartment. I let out a sound as soon as I took a bite into that delicious pastry. We strayed a little off the original path we took and we talked about anything and everything. Talking mainly about our friends, noting that June and Felix seemed to have taken a liking to each other and we have made it our mission to see if we could coax them together. After about twenty minutes we made it back to the apartment, the group still as lively as when we left. No one made any comments to our absence much to my surprise and we just slipped back into the group as if we never left.
“Okay, okay, so I think it’s Chris’ turn to pick-Channie-hyung what do you wanna play next?’ Jeongin asked sweetly, definitely not sober.
Chris decides on Mario Cart on Felix’s Nintento Switch they hooked up to the TV in the living room. The first ones to play were Felix, Chris, Seungmin, and Jeongin. The rest of the group cheered them on from the sidelines, and suddenly I feel surrounded. Surrounded I was, by Han, Hyunjin, and Lilith. All three of them started at me, Han speaking first, “Don’t think we hadn’t noticed you two slip out.”
Lilith looks at me, betrayal in her eyes, “Yeah, I mean, I didn’t at first, Shortstack over here was the one who pointed it out to me.”
I raised my hands in surrender,”I didn’t eat anything today and was feeling the alcohol a little too much and Chris asked if I wanted to go grab something down the road. That’s it, guys…”I look at Lilith pointedly, “dont start this crap again, please.”
“Ooh, what crap, I wanna know?”Hyunjin butts in.
“That Chris is in love with her.” She blurts.
I start,”He is not i-”
“Aahhhh, he so is. Y/N nah, this man is obsessed.” Han cuts me off.
I interject before I am interrupted again, “We met for 8 minutes two days ago.”
Hyunjin quickly lets out a short sentence, “8 minutes too long.” He shutters as if to shake off a memory.
Lilith puts a hand on Hyunjin’s shoulder, which surprises me in itself, “Bitch, he looks at you with hearts in his eyes.”
“Okay, I’m not entertaining this conversation anymore, we are just friends. The end.” I cut sharply.
After that conversation, I definitely needed a couple more drinks. I head to the kitchen and grab a bottle of soju and a shot glass, bringing the first two glasses to my lips immediately. By the third, Jeongin walks in…so red in the face. Poor baby. He reminds me of my younger brother that I haven’t seen in a couple of years and I feel the need to just protect him from the world.
“Noona, are you okay? You keep wandering off…”
“I’m okay, Jeongin, just trying to soak it all in.” I respond.
He pulls out another shot glass and pours himself a glass, throwing it back as quick as I did the first two. From there he and I found ourselves with a soju bottle each, on the kitchen floor laughing about…nothing…absolutely nothing. I quickly learned that Jeongin’s natural habits really came out when he drank. He called me ‘noona’ and continuously spoke formally to me after I told him not to bother with it. It wasn’t long before June came in, looking for me,a dn probably now a little sober than me, too.
“We’re gn’na spend the night here, yes?” she asked, slurring slightly.
I stumbled into a standing position, “No, we gotta get home, we can’t invade their home.”
“Y/Nnie, don’t worry about it, we do it all the time…well not all the time, but often. We have plenty of spare mattresses,” Han pointed out, almost the whole crew coming into the kitchen at one.
“And I can’t go to sleep with a clear conscious with you guys taking the bus this late, it’s no bother-swear.” Chan pipes up.
-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-
The kids had just enough spare toothbrushes for the three of us between the seven of them, Changbin and Hyunjin made up all the mattresses and throwing a bunch of spare pillows and blankets on them. Changbin took a mattress, Seungmin and Jeongin shared a mattress, I let Lilith and June share the last mattress and I took the couch. It didn’t take long for all of them to pass out, Changbin snoring slightly with his neck at such an uncomfortable angle. After a few hours of me tossing and turning, my brain just couldn’t shut off after what Han, Hyunjin,and Lilith said earlier. Did Chris really like me? Does he look at me with ‘heart eyes’? Then my thoughts went to all the exams I have left this week, my math one stressing me the worst. I got up for what felt like the fifth time to go to the bathroom, I took care of business and on my way back to the living room I ran into a shadow-keeping in a scream. I was quieted by a hand over my mouth and a voice close to my ear, “It’s just me, don’t wake them up, they all are a pain to get back to sleep.”
I playfully push him away and whisper, “Chris, you scared the shit out of me. “
He chuckles lowly, “ Well it’s a good think you just went then, yeah?”
I push him once more and he grabs my wrist as we start having a conversation in the middle of the hallway.
“Can’t sleep?” He asks me.
“No. My mind just won’t shut off…and the couch is a little uncomfortable”
“Oh, tell me about it-wait- they didn’t give you a mattress?”
“I didn’t give them a choice,I knew I’d have a hard time sleeping.”
“Well, do you want to share my bed? Respectfully, of course. I mean, I can even make a pallet on the floor.” He offers.
“I’m not gonna kick you out of your bed, and I’ll just keep you up.”
“Y/N I wouldn’t offer if I thought you would keep me up, I couldn’t sleep either and just heard someone else up. I really don’t mind.” He opens his door behind him all the way and I make my way in.
He shows me where everything is and tells me to make myself comfortable. At first I lay on the right side of the bed and realize it’s warm from him laying there, so I quickly slide over to the left, climbing under the sheets. He did the same, putting a pillow between us so I’d feel more comfortable, he faced me and brought the comforter up to his chin and sighed.
“Chris, do you miss your family in Austrailia?” I ask abrupt.
He quickly propped his head onto his palm,” Yeah, I mean of course, I feel like I’ve missed out on so much with all of them. Hannah is now a high school graduate and my brother is growing up so fast that I’ve lost track. I try to talk to them when I can but it can be hard for sure. Are you missing your family?”
I begin to fight back tears, the alcohol still burning in my blood, “Yeah, but I’ve been trying to keep it all pushed down so I didn’t think about it…but hanging out with Jeongin tonight made me realise how much I really missed them. He reminds me of my little brother so much at times.”
I quietly begin to cry and he just slowly pulls me into his arms, whispering soothing words into my ear. Soon enough, my brain quiets and eventually just shuts off altogether, taking my consciousness with it.
Thank you for reading, let me know what you thought!!
...synopsis...No one ever really knows what they wanna do in their 20s, but Y/N has always known what she was going to do. So, she began the journey to her dream and is so close to reaching it with no distractions at all. Until she is thrown into a project with Hyunjin, a fellow senior in college, and he introduces her to a few of his friends...connecting with one in particular...
Her whole plan is soon thrown off the track she’s had it on for 21 years….
-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_ -_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_
The next morning, after maybe two hours of sleep, I stopped at the local student coffee shop, grabbing something for me and Hyunjin before heading to the bus top for a 15 minute drive to the closest stop to the dance studio Hyunjin and I have been using for the last couple of weeks. He said that rather than having to rent a room through the school, he knew the owner of a local one that hardly anyone used anymore. I’m sure the owner was more than happy to have both our company and our generous donations, since she refused to let us pay by the hour like she required for the public.
I punched in the passcode she offered for Hyunjin and me before pushing my way through the creaking door, the bell above ringing. I heard slow beats in the studio and I made my way in, assuming it was just going to be him. Little did I know, he was going to have two friends with him. I knew both, thankfully, I wasn’t very open to dancing in front of strangers…another reason I wasn’t a choreographer. I saw Jeongin conversing with Felix, who I met a time or two when I would meet Hyunjin at his dorm. I brought Hyunjin his coffee, then properly greeted the two other men in the room. Felix, surprising me with a hug, “Y/N, I’ve missed seeing you, Jinnie’s been hogging you up in studios too much. You need to come by the dorm sometime. I know I wouldn’t be the only one who’d ap-”
A loud clap sounded from the other side of the room, “Okay! You two heathens have two choices, sit on the side quietly or leave-your choice!”
Jeongin made a face at his demanding friend and dragged Felix to the bench spanning the side of the room the the right.
Hyunjin had me set our drinks where we wouldn’t spill them and we decided to start at the hook of the song. I watched a few feet away from him, so I could gauge where he had gotten with the choreo. I put in a few suggestions that made the dance look like it would flow more with his body, surprisingly enough, he took the offer, stating that it felt more natural anyway.
One..Two…Three…Four…Five…Six…Seven…Eight
The counting Hyunjin showed to me consistently sounded through my head and I jumped in when it felt right, following his languid movements. Once the song came to an end, our breathing slightly elevated he turned to me and smiled, “Why don’t you dance with me more? Ooh, I can ask my instructor if I can bring you on and make it a duet?”
I laugh with a hand on my chest, “Hyunjin, you’re being generous, I do NOT want this to be a duet, I will ruin your grade, I swear it. I am entry level, at this point you’re a pro, I am not willing to bring your final grade down. If you’re up for it, once you get your grade back, you can alter the dance as a duet and we can try that as a side project?”
He thought about it for a moment and his face lit up,” I love that idea! So, be prepared to be amazed and tired. But, I still would like you to practice with me, the studio feels empty dancing by myself.”
He gave me little puppy-dog eyes and I caved, “Okay, okay. Just be patient with me, I’m still new and learning.”
After a little “hehe” he started the song over and we started from the top, working on parts we each thought we could change slightly to make more impactful. Every once in a while, Felix would offer suggestions that neither of us thought of due to being to wrapped up in our own bubble of creativity. After an hour and a half, Hyunjin received a phone call and I gave him the go ahead to answer it. This giving me a break to drink water and to cool off. I pulled my arm out of the sleeve of my sweatshirt for more ventilation, leaving my sports bra slightly exposed. In the mirror in front of me I saw Jeongin turn a shade of crimson and choke on whatever he was drinking in his cup, Felix beside him starting to let out a broken chuckle. I hear my phone begin to ring and I jog to answer the call fom Lilith when I pick up I can hear the white sound from being in a vehicle,”Y/Nnie? Can you hear me?”
“Yes, love, what’s up?” I play with the end of my sleeve on my sweatshirt, a habit I’ve never been able to break.
“All the dance studios are full at the university and I remember you telling me about the one off-campus you guys used, do you mind if practice is over there today or would we be intruding?”
“Not at all, girl, come on over- you have my location, right? Just put it in and I’ll send you the code to get in, or have someone come down to meet you.”
“Sounds good, we’ve got like five minutes left, but I’ll let you go so you can continue practicing!”
With that she hung up before I could even ask who “we” were…
I feel warmth behind me, only for it to be Hyunjin towering over me, “Chris is on his way, all the studios are full at uni and they need a bigger space.”
I let out an “uh-huh” muttering that Lilith said the same thing. Felix said that he would go down to let them in once they got here and told us that we could just continue with what we were doing. With that being said, Hyunjin decided to show me one specific part I couldn’t get down because of the way he moved his hips and it just felt unnatural. He watched me attempt to do it, and waited a couple of beats.
“Is it okay if I touch you? I don’t wanna make you uncomfortable.” He asked.
I nod, “Hyun, I don’t think there is anything you could do at this point that would make me uncomfortable…unless it was kissing, that’s a different story and we know what happened the last time you kissed a girl.”
He looked at me with a “go to hell’ look and placed his warm hands on my waist and he asked Jeongin to play the music at a specific part. Once Jeongin pressed ‘play’ Hyunjin stepped behind me, looking over my shoulder still keeping a respectful distance away from me. Once the music began to flood out of the speakers, the man behind me began to move our bodies the way we had written out. I imprinted the way my body was supposed to move in this moment into my brain, trying to remember the way my muscles pulled at my back and thighs.
I looked at my partner through the mirror and asked him if we could run it again, hoping I could finally get this one right. He agreed and I walked over to his phone, rewinding the song and pulled off the rest of my sweatshirt, discarding it in the corner. We bagan moving again, midway through I started feeling anxiety rising in me the closer we got to the part we just went over.
It didn’t take long before we were interrupted by cat-calls from none other than Lilith, with two strays in tow. Chris and Han shyly made their way to us, Han quietly introduced himself and shook my hand. Chris shook my hand and said a quick ‘hi’ before hugging Hyunjin and quickly making his way to Jeongin, greeting him like a big brother would, sitting on top of him and rubbing the top of his head.
Lilith, on the other hand, yanked me to the side, “Okay you slut, whatcha doin with the little dancey dance there? But also, not bad..”
I just shrugged, “Hyunjin and I thought it would be a great idea for me to learn the routine because he wants to make it a duet once he finishes his exam, and he was talking about putting it on his socials with the song. All about publicity, babes.”
My friend squinted her eyes at me before calling over Han, “ Han, Y/N, Y/N, Han…or Jisung, he’ll respond to either.”
“I’m not a dog, Lilith,” he turns to me, “it’s nice to finally properly meet you, we’ve heard so much about you!”
“What the hell kinda stories does she tell you guys?” I let out with a nervous chuckle.
“ Now I said nothing about- OW!” Han was interrupted by Lilith stomping her foot ontop of his.
“Shut the hell up, shortstack.” She grits out as she turns to me “but, can we see the whole thing?”
My arms cross as a shout out to Hyunjin on the other side of the studio, “Hyun, she wants to see a run through.”
Before I start the music I let out a little disclaimer, “Now, the track isn’t finished yet, we’re still touching it up, but this is the main sample of it.”
“I hope you know we wanna see you dance with him too.” Felix requests.
Suddenly I feel shy, “Felix, I don’t know…I don’t feel comf-”
“Do it! You’re too hot to not do it!” Han shouts from his little corner, “Do your little dancey dance.” He sings out.
I give in, first throwing on my sweatshirt I had discarded in the corner, finally pressing play and getting into place.
I put all my focus and energy into getting this whole thing right, wanting to prove to myself that I can do anything I put my mind to. The last note rings out and I feel like I am dying for air…real air. I need to work on my stamina for sure. Hollers echo around us and Hyunjin embraces me in a hug, his arm lazily slung around my shoulders, “Y/Nnie, you did so good for a producer!”
“THAT’S where I know you from! Y/N, do you take Professor Kim’s Producing class block?” Han asks, running up to us.
“Yeah, have him every Monday, Wednesday, and Fridays.” I inform him. From there, he gets so excited and begins asking questions.
“What row do you sit it? How come you don’t talk a lot in class? You should’ve introduced yourself to us!” This little man doesn’t stop rambling, and I already adore him for it.
Through a few chuckles I explain that I sit directly behind him and Chris, and that I actually record the class to I can take proper notes later and didn’t feel the need to talk. We all get acquainted more while Hyunjin and I take a break, laughs sounding through the room frequently- the company feels nice…feels warm. After being a part of a few side conversations, I watch how well Lilith gets along with the other four. I notice how quiet Chan was and I accidentally make eye contact with him, my face heating up slightly and I send him a reassuring wink. He blushed and a smile grows on his face, he pulls his ball cap down and looks into his lap.
“So when are we all free so that way we can have a hangout night, I’m sure since I like you two, the rest of us will get along well.” Hyunjin asks loudly, pulling my attention away from the blushing man.
Suddenly I find six pairs of eyes are on me, questioning me in silence.
———————————
Thank you for reading! Let me know what you thought!!
...synopsis...No one ever really knows what they wanna do in their 20s, but Y/N has always known what she was going to do. So, she began the journey to her dream and is so close to reaching it with no distractions at all. Until she is thrown into a project with Hyunjin, a fellow senior in college, and he introduces her to a few of his friends...connecting with one in particular...
Her whole plan is soon thrown off the track she’s had it on for 21 years….
“So, how many exams do you two have left for this week?” June voiced across from Lilith and me as she sipped on her latte.
I snort sounded out to my left and my red-haired friend spoke a little louder than she probably meant to, causing a few pedestrians to glance in our direction, “FOUR, and Professor Leslie is riding my ass for my grade…I do have a life outside of college!”
The three of us chuckled to another as we continued to talk about how our classes have been since we last saw another, our trio has been wrapped up in perfecting each of our majors to even think about a time-out. With Lilith having a major final in her choreography class; she has to choreograph her own dance with a person from a producing and songwriting class. This trio-final rests heavily on all three of their grades. June has been up in the kitchen cooking up storms of various dishes for her major final, Lilith and me being her taste testers. Me on the other hand, I’m in a similar boat as Lilith, only…my choreographer,Hyunjin, was short a songwriter.So, I have to both produce and songwrite for this project. I somehow managed to wrap the him into helping me write the lyrics as well, giving the pair of us extra credit rather than just myself. Hyunjin has proved himself competent enough, both of us have spent more time together than I am able to sleep these days. He’s even brought me in to the choreography area of it, letting me add in a few touches of my own.
I swear I talk to him more than I’ve talked to either of my friends in front of me. Although, the two of them have heard the many stories between the pair of us, and vice versa with Lilith. Whom of which has found herself hating the hell out of my partner, even though her two partners are both best friends with him and roomates as well. So, she sees quite a bit of him…
I have yet to meet any of Hyunjin’s roommates or friends, I’ve only met a couple of his friends, one of them being my brother…the other being their youngest of the group who took us out for coffee since we pulled an all-nighter the other day.
I let the two of my friends converse with each other about how close each of them are to finishing their major finals…while I feel like Hyunjin and I are so behind. Just then, I get a text from the devil himself:
H: What class block do you have today?
M: I’m done with everything I need done for today, what’s up?
H: I was checking in to see when you wanted to link for the final?
M: I can meet you in about 30, I’m catching up with my girls right now.
H: Take your time, I know you don’t meet them much lately! I’ll meet you at the studio lobby so we can check in our time.
M:Sounds good, I’ll see you then!
H:Tell Lilith I said ‘hi’ ;)
I smirk as I slide my phone into my bag as face the ladies in front of me,”Lils, Hyunjin said ‘hi’, by the way.”
Lilith rolls her eyes as she takes a chug of her boba through the thick straw, “What is with him? I’ve told him sooo many times already I don’t like him and to leave me the hell alone, I already hear the stories of him getting around, I’m not about to be another notch on his bedpost.”
I look at June and give her a glance through my lashes, a knowing look. Lilith loves to say she won’t give in because she’s heard the stories, but I’ve also heard the truth…Hyunjin has hooked up with one girl and it didn’t go well because he got so nervous that he ghosted her. Since then, he’s just thrown himself into perfecting his craft and he’s definitely been perfecting it. June and I have spoke on several occasions about it, rooting that one day Lilith will let my new found friend in, she’s been hurt too many times by many people and I know Hyunjin would be a good match for her. So, on the down low, I’ve been doing my best to play ‘Cupid’.
“He’s really not all that bad, I’ve never had this much fun and ease collaborating with another class before and he’s really good at what he does-and a gentleman about it most of all.” I state with a teasing tone.
“That’s because he has that face…you know, that face…can-make-you-believe-anything-kinda-face.” Lilith struggles to find words as she tries so hard to sound confident letting this out in a quick breath.
I break the blinding silence we sit in for a couple of minutes by suddenly speaking, “Speaking of, I actually have to meet him in a few minutes in the studio, you two, if you need anything just call me-one of us will answer. I love you, get back to the apartment safely please!”
I give each girl a quick kiss on the cheek as I dash out to the bus stop a couple of blocks down.
-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-
I get to the studio lobby with five minutes to spare, finding Hyunjin on one of the study chairs with his headphones over his ears-grey hoodie covering his long hair. I check-in with the receptionist on the last studio slot available, grab him and head to the door. Once we get to the door, he drops his headphones to his shoulders and asks me how my time with my girls went. I swipe the entry card as I span through our brief time together with a wistful smile. I sit in the producer’s chair as he makes himself comfortable on the couch behind me, “You miss them, huh?”
I nod and turn to my counterpart, “Yeah, we always usually eat dinner together at the apartment and every week we usually have a night out or game night where we don’t do much…but lately we’ve all been too stressed or busy. Granted each of those were my ideas, so who knows…maybe they’re glad they don’t have to do those until we aren’t busy anymore.”
He violently shakes his head, “If either of them love you just as much as you clearly love them, then they miss you just as much.”
A hum makes it’s way out of my throat and I turn back to the workstation and begin to run back through our work once I pull it up.
We are working for two hours before he offers a break, he can tell I am not satisfied with what we have and that I am getting irritated with myself.
“Hyun, I can’t stop where we are, I have so much to edit, I kind of wanna scrap this section. It just doesn’t sound good. A song should not take as long as I have spent on this one.” I let out as I massage the base of my skull, about to press play for a full run-through of what we have. Hyunjin grabs my hand, restraining it and before I can protest, he speaks, “Okay, I get it, trust me…but we need food at least, yeah?”
I nod in response, “Why don’t you go grab something to eat and maybe I can get somewhere with this?”
He mocks my response, but gives in…takes my order and leaves the room so I can chug this slow-moving train along. I honestly feel so bad that he got stuck with me, I’ve dabbled in a few songwriting classes, but never wanted to commit to them. He swears that I’m a genius with the pen, but I think he was just buttering me up to play nice. After a few edits on the soundboard, I step into the studio and begin recording soft adlibs. My throat starts to feel tight and dry from lack of hydration, so I step out and grab a sip of water before restarting the recording and redo the short clip. Once I hear the music stop in the single headphone I had pressed to my ear, I hear cheering over the mic from Hyunjin, “Yes,” he drags out, “it sounded so heavenly, so lovely…and I hope you don’t mind me bringing in a friend of mine, he’s a couple studios down and I asked for his advice. You know what they say about an arist not seeing the beauty in their work, so I brought the audience, so maybe you will finally believe my words.”
He can be so dramatic sometimes, grabbing his chest and making a pained face like I just stabbed him. I see someone to the side, but am unable to see their face due to the glare in the window. I step out of the recording booth and am met with a wide smile and a handshake from a man that is about a head taller than me. He sports a hoodie similar to Hyunjin’s-just in black-a ball cap, and sweats. I recognize him from my Producing class, he sits just a row in front of me and I’ve had a slight crush on him for a few months now-too scared to approach him. There’s no way he’s single…
I firmly grasp his hand in return and introduce myself, “I’m Y/N, I’m Hyunjin’s final partner.”
He responds with a squeeze of my hand, “Chris, Hyunjin’s friend and roommate…well one of them.”
I giggle slightly, the sound almost foreign to me, “Nice to finally meet you, Chris, I’ve heard a lot about you.”
If looks could kill, Hyunjin would be dead. My friend holds his hands up, a sign of his innocence and I grab Chris’ attention again, “No, Hyun has only told me who you are to him, you’re actually partnered up with one of my best friends for the final, Lilith.”
That lights up his face, “Ahh, she’s a good one, we cut up well. Her and Han fight like brother and sister so often, I feel like a father.”
I raise my brows in a not-so-suprised expression, “Sounds about right, I’m gonna apologise on her behalf, I know she can be a handful. You should see how she is about getting up in the morning, I feel like a mom,” I laugh…missing the company of my friend, “granted, she doesn’t sleep well, if at all. Now my other roommate, I swear she sleeps enough for all three of us.”
It’s at that moment, I realize that our hands were still clasped in front of us. I suddenly let go and turn around, trying not to meet either of their eyes and sit in the chair in front of me as I change the subject, “ So if you’re up to it, I can show you a few seconds of the track.”
Chris brings up the other chair from the corner of the room and sits to the right of me. I press play and let the R&B inspired beat flow through the speakers. Hyunjin and I both agreed, after looking at thousands of dance videos, that his dance style would look beautiful with a sensual r&b vibe and we went from there. I gauge Chris’ reaction and I am horrified by how openly disgusted this man looks about the track. I stop it where it feels right and his face then changes suddenly, “This is so raw and beautiful…why do you hate it? Hyunjin said you thought about scrapping the whole thing-do you realize how good he’s gonna look dancing to this?”
I am stunned for a moment, does he need a mirror? Did he know the face he was making five seconds ago? Before I can get my words out, Hyunjin interrupts me, “Y/N, he likes it, trust me-the face you saw…that’s his “this shit’s really good” face. I know, I’ve talked to him about it, he’s made that face to my dancing before and I almost cried. He’s not lying, promise.”
I spin around, “Hyunjin, it’s not that hard to make you cry.”
He made a gesture to me and Chris put his hand on my shoulder as he got up, “Trust me, it’s good, I’m not a very good liar-ask him.” He begins to walk away and he leans in my ear, speaking low enough that only I hear him, “Don’t throw it away, if anything, put it out.”
And he walks out the door, closing it gently behind him.
Hyunjin all but jumps on me, “You like him, yeah?”
I shook my head and begin stuttering, “ Hyunjin, I don’t even know him.”
He cackles for a moment before speaking breathily, “I mean the way he works! You perv!!”
Now embarrassed, I turn and just respond with a short ‘mhm’ and he and I continue working. I strictly speak about the project, but he consistently brings up Chris and somehow I redirect it back to the track. He eventually drops it and we go back and forth for another two hours after we eat.
Being the gentleman he is, he drove me to my shared apartment and made sure I made it in okay since it was pretty dark out and out corner streetlight was out until further notice. I bid my friend good-bye and grabbed my eyes off my belt to unlock the door to my home. Suddenly I am being bombarded by my two friends with so many questions as soon as I walk through the door. Holding my hand up, palm facing them, I take off my coat and my shoes before going to the kitchen in silence to grab a quick drink. Lilith and June stand on the opposite side of our kitchen island and both speak at the same time again.
“Okay, okay, one at a time please!” I shout, a headache coming on from the chaos.
June gestures for Lilith to speak first, “Bitch, you didn’t tell us you met with Chris today!”
“He soooo likes you, Y/Nnie.” June speaks up.
I look at the two across from me in confusion, “What? He was in the studio for all of 8 minutes…I was in there for about four and a half hours, he doesn’t know me enough to like me.”
They both look at each other with the same expression, then back to me as Lilith begins again, “Really? Because those 8 minutes must be seared into his brain then, because he was late for our little choreo session…I mean HAN of all people was there before him, Chris is never late. And when he got there he was all jokey and smiley. I’ve spent enough time with this man to know he isn’t always like that, in fact, he’s rarely like that unless he is with all his boys, so shut up. You two are made for each other.”
8 minutes. That’s all we spent together and these two lunatics are jumping to a relationship, they truly are crazy…
I scoff, “Yeah, and you and Hyunjin are gonna get together. It was 8 minutes, guys. If the man spends even a fraction of his time doing what I do, then it was probably his first time seeing a girl in weeks, chill.”
The both of them hold their hands up, knowing I’m done with the conversation and they each go to their rooms in silence. Suddenly my phone goes off and it’s Hyunjin:
H: So how do you feel about our friend groups meeting this week?
M:I’d have to talk to the girls, but I’m sure they’re already down…
H: Good, all three of you need a break and to spend time together again. Also…Chris has mentioned you a total of three times since I’ve been home.
M: You’re funny, Hyun. Go get some sleep and I’ll let you know when we’re all free in the morning.
H: Say what you will, but if anyone else came to compliment your work, it would’ve taken a lot more time to convince you how good it is already.
M: He’s in my Producing class, and I know that he knows what he’s talking about, he’s really good at what he does, so I’m taking his advice.
H:Mhm. Say what you will…I say a month.
M:??
H: You’ll see, I’ll see you in the morning for choreo, angel!
It took him two weeks to find you and that was it. Two weeks of sleepless nights, of barking orders at his men, of calling in favors and threatening every informant in the city. He called in every favor he’d been owed in order to find you.
You didn’t leave breadcrumbs - which wasn’t to be unexpected. You'd been friends with Chan for years before you started your friends with benefits situation and you’d picked up a lot along the way.
But the way you had just vanished didn’t sit well with Chan at all and he was someone who prided himself on always being ten steps ahead. The two of you had been sleeping together for the better half of a year now, never discussing what it meant for either of you and he assumed you’d ran because you got scared and he was desperate to find you. Chan had never felt so helpless before
Until now. Until you.
The shitty motel door slams open, frame splintering as it hits the wall. You jolt where you sit curled on the bed, arms wrapped protectively around your belly as if shielding the baby even though it was inside of you. His eyes land on you—and for a second, he doesn’t speak. He just stares. His breathing was heavy, his chest was heaving. Rage burning in his eyes. The only time you’d ever seen him this angry was when someone had broken into his house and stole some of his diamonds.
“You have any idea what the fuck you’ve done to me?” he finally says, voice low and shaking with restraint. He stalked slowly toward the bed, drinking in every inch of you as you stared at him, swallowing thickly,
“I thought you were dead.” He growls out. You scramble to stand up from the bed, voice trembling. You’d been trying to think of what to say to him and how to deliver the news but it all felt impossible
“Chan—”
“You didn’t answer my calls. My messages. My men couldn’t find you. Do you understand what kind of hell I went through—”
“I’m pregnant.” You finally cut him off, dropping the bomb that you’d been holding in for two weeks and all that was met with was silence.
He freezes mid-step, looking at you as he drank in your appearance. You were in a summer dress, a tiny bump on your stomach. The rage in his eyes vanished leaving nothing but confusion and hurt there in its wake. You swallow hard, pressing a hand to your belly.
“I didn’t know what to do. I thought if you found out, you’d—” His brows knit together as you speak.
“Thought I’d what?” You look down at the floor, tears spilling down your cheeks.
“I thought you’d make me get rid of it. That you’d say it was a liability, or too dangerous, or… I don’t know. I panicked.” Chan’s whole body deflated like a balloon he felt as though the air had just been punched out of his lungs. The thought of you assuming he would make you get rid of your child killed him inside.
“You thought I’d do that to you?” His voice breaks, tears building up in his eyes as you looked at him, he slowly sat down on the edge of the bed.
“You think I’d make you get rid of our child?”
“I didn’t think I would have a choice,” you whisper, dropping beside him as he placed a hand on your thigh and gently rubbed your skin. You hated that the first thought you had was him making you get rid of your child but his world was dangerous, something he reminded you of quite frequently.
“We’re not in love. We were just… a thing. And I didn’t want you to feel forced into anything.” Tears silently rolled down his cheeks as his hand shakily reached out toward your stomach,
“Can I…?” You nod, tears streaming freely now as you sniffle. Chan moved so slowly and carefully until his palms rest gently against your stomach and he lets out a soft sigh, finally feeling as though he could breathe again now he’d found you. Slowly he got up and knelt in front of you.
“I don’t care what we were,” he says quietly. “This changes everything. You change everything.” You look down at him, stunned. You had at least expected him to yell at you some more or be pissed off that you’d hidden it for so long.
“You’re not angry?”
“Oh, I’m fucking furious,” he chuckles bitterly, looking up at you with wet eyes.
“But not at you. At myself. For making you feel like you couldn’t tell me. For being so wrapped up in control and power that you thought I wouldn’t want this…Or you.” His hand slides into yours, fingers interlocking tightly and squeezing gently. There was nothing in this world that Chan wouldn’t do for you.
“I want it. I want you.I don’t care how dangerous my world is, we’ll protect this baby together. And if anyone comes near you…” His jaw tightens at the mere thought of it.
“They’ll beg for mercy I won’t give.” You crumble into him, sobbing into his shoulder, squeezing him close to you and he pulls you close, determined never to let you go again.
MINHO:
Minho found you after weeks of you being gone. Weeks of him thinking the worst thing in the world happened to you.
Weeks of tearing every single place apart, he knew you would have run to, but you were nowhere to be found. Your friends hadn't seen you - or so they said. The guards hadn't seen you even leave the mansion, and now he'd finally gotten you.
Thunder sounded around him as he stood in front of the run down building you’ve been hiding in, his hands clenched at his sides and his jaw was hurting from how hard he had it clenched.
He didn't bother to knock, he just shoved the door open and it slammed against the wall behind it. He'd always had a flare for dramatics. But the moment he saw you his heart picked up.
You’re there. You're safe. You're not bleeding in a ditch, no one took you. You were safe. Standing by the window in an oversized hoodie, arms wrapped around yourself like a guardrail. You turned around to face him, your eyes widening.
“Minho—”
“Why?” Just one word from him. He didn't move, he didn't blink. He didn't even want to breathe in fear of you sprinting out of the room and running away from him again. You took a step back, you weren't scared of him in the slightest, but the sight of him so angry sent a chill down your spine.
“I—”
“Why didn’t you tell me?” His voice stays quiet, but there’s a sharpness under it, the kind that cuts deep. You swallow thickly as you look at him,
“I spent weeks thinking something happened to you. That someone took you. That you were lying in a ditch somewhere, bleeding out. The number of hospitals I ransacked trying to get to you..." Guilt slammed into your chest. You hadn't expected him to come hunting for you. You figured he'd leave you alone. The two of you were just friends with benefits, something he'd reminded you a lot of.
“I didn’t know what else to do.” Your voice was shaking, the only thing calming Minho down as he looked at you,
“So you ran?” He arched his brow up at you,
“I panicked.” He sucks on his teeth as he steps inside, shutting the door behind him in an eerily calm way. You hated seeing him so calm; you'd expected him to be pissed off.
“You’ve never run from me before, even when we've fought.”
“Yeah, well, I’ve never been pregnant before.” You defended, and that was the only thing that silenced him. It was as though someone had shot a gun into the air; you could practically hear the rain leaking through the roof. Minho's breath caught in his throat,
“You’re pregnant?” His eyes flicked to your stomach, but you were in an oversized hoodie. You nod, eyes filling with tears, everything you'd been holding in for weeks coming up.
Minho didn't move or speak, and that was worse than him being angry with you. You'd rather take the yelling than his silence.
“I thought you’d… I thought you’d tell me to get rid of it,” you whisper, taking in a shaky breath as you shook your head and rambled on,
“That you’d say it was too dangerous. That it would ruin everything. That I was stupid for not being more careful...T-That we shouldn't have a kid.” His brow furrows. Did you really think so little of him?
“You think I’d make you get rid of it?” You couldn't bring yourself to meet his eyes.
“You’ve always been clear about what this is. Friends. No strings. And this? This is a string. A whole fucking knot.” You said as you brushed your hand over your stomach. He breathes in deeply through his nose, then slowly walks toward you. When he reached you, he didn't touch you—just looked down at you,
“I kill people, yeah. I run a syndicate. I’m cold. Calculated. But I’m not heartless. Not to you...I thought I'd made that clear to you...For you, I'd burn down the world." He whispers, his hand slowly moving up to cup your face in his hand, running his thumbs under your eyes to remove the tears. Your chin trembles as you tear up again, shaking your head.
“I didn’t want you to hate me.”
“Hate you?” he scoffs with a small smile.
“I’ve been trying not to fall in love with you for months. And now you’re carrying my kid, and you think I’d throw you away?” You blink, stunned.
“Wait, you—” His hands move from your face and gently against your stomach, smiling to himself as he runs his fingers over your stomach.
“I will protect you both. From everything. Even me.” He smiles as he looks down at you,
“You should’ve told me. I should’ve made you feel safe enough to.” He shakes his head at himself, mad that he'd somehow made you feel unsure if you could share things with him.
“Are you… mad?”
“Fuming, baby,” he says, looking up at you with raw honesty. “But not at the baby. Not at you. I'm mad at myself for ever letting you think I wouldn't want this...A family with you..." Minho leans forward, pressing his lips to your forehead.
“You’re not running again. Got it?” You sniffle as you nod and cuddle into him.
"Got it."
CHANGBIN:
Everyone had given up hope on finding you, and Jisung had tried to convince Changbin that it was time to let you go. That if you hadn't been found, you clearly didn't want to be, but there was no way Changbin was going to drop any of this. He refused to stop hunting for you when you had unfinished business.
No one walked away from Changbin, and certainly not you. The two of you were best friends long before you started sleeping together, and he wanted answers. He deserved them.
"She's inside, boss," One of his men told him as Changbin stared down at the shitty apartment building in front of him. It had taken two months to track you down, and here you were. In a shithole in the worst place in the country. God, he could already tell how much of a security risk this was for you to be here, and there was no way you were staying.
Within seconds, Changbin was inside your apartment, the door wide open, making you jump up from the sofa,
"Changbin, what the fuck?!" You scream, seeing him standing there with a lock-pick in his hands.
"Me?!" He yells as he slams the door shut behind him, slamming it so hard he is sure he heard some of it crack,
“What the actual fuck, Y/N?!" You flinch, shrinking back instinctively. He’s never yelled at you before. Not like this. Not with so much pain in his eyes and voice.
“You disappear without a word? You block me, vanish into thin air—do you know what that did to me?”
“Changbin—” You try to speak, but he wasn't going to let you, not when he'd been dying at the thought of something being wrong,
“No!” he shouts, his heart had broken when he'd woken up to find you missing from his side.
“You don’t get to say my name like that and pretend this is normal. I thought you were dead! I thought someone took you. I was ready to fucking destroy the entire city to find you!” Your throat tightens, you weren’t ready for this, you hadn't thought he would find you yet. You thought you had time to figure out something to say to him.
“I’m sorry,” you whisper.
“Sorry doesn’t fucking cover it!” He yells out, he didn't want to yell and scream at you. He hated the fact that you were scared, but he'd been just as scared when you weren't home.
"I-I was scared," You stuttered a little, and your hands clenched by his sides. There was something about the stutter that made him pause. He took in the sight of you, the oversized clothes, and the way you had your hands on your stomach, and something clicked inside of him.
"You’re pregnant,” He said slowly, his eyes slowly drinking in your appearance.
"Y--yeah. Yeah, I'm pregnant." You whisper, waiting for him to say something, but he just stared at you, his hands unclenching as he pinched his thigh a little.
“I didn’t know what to do,” you continue softly, moving toward him slowly, not knowing if he was ready to be approached, but you'd fucking missed him.
“I thought you’d be furious-"
"I am, but not because you're pregnant, I'm fucking pissed because you ran-"
"I-I thought you’d make me get rid of it.” You rushed out, cutting him off as he stared at you. His face screws up as he stares at you, the thought physically hurting him.
“You what?”
“You always said we were nothing more than friends with benefits. We were just having fun, messing around and-" Changbin's eyes find yours, and you cut yourself off. There were tears building up in his eyes, bloodshot as he shook his head.
“I never knew how to ask you for more." He whispers, you open your mouth, but nothing comes out. Out of all of the things you expected him to say, THAT wasn't one of them.
“Can I…?” He asks as he looks at your stomach. You nod, tears welling in your eyes. Changbin dropped to his knees as he let out a small sob mixed with a laugh.
“There’s a baby in there,” he whispers, his thumbs gently running over your stomach through the hoodie you were wearing.
“Our baby.” He grins up at you, and you whimper, dropping to your knees in front of him,
"I was scared, Binnie, I'm sorry." You whisper, and he shakes his head, cupping your face in his hands.
“I’m scared, too, angel. I want this...I want us, I want a future, and god, I can't wait to be surrounded by our kids." He chuckles, his cheeks turning pink as he looks at you.
HYUNJIN:
You should have known better than to hide in the city, but you thought hiding in plain sight would have worked, but somehow you'd been found. You'd burnt your SIM card, changed your name, left no digital trace of yourself, but Hyunjin would never stop. Not until he found you, and you'd expected that.
What you hadn't expected was the sight of him now, standing outside of your door, piss wet through, his hair in all kinds of directions, and breathing heavily from how quickly he'd raced up the stairs to your door. One of his men had seen you going into the hospital, and so he'd followed you home.
"Hyunjin..." you breathe, your heart racing a million miles a second as you stand at the door to your apartment. The apartment that made him want to burn the whole place down. When he'd seen you walking inside, he'd panicked, this was where one of the biggest dealers in the city lived, and the idea of you being anywhere near him made his whole heart beat.
But as he stood in front of you, he didn't speak, he didn't move, he just stared at you. As if he were trying to commit your face to memory in case you vanished again.
“Hyun—” you tried again, but he cut you off.
“Why?” The sound of his voice was broken, wrecked. He looked like he'd barely slept in weeks, and you looked down at your hands.
“I had to—”
“No.” His eyes flutter shut, like hearing your voice physically hurts. He'd been preparing himself for the worst. He figured you'd gotten hurt or kidnapped...maybe you'd even found someone else, but he hadn't prepared to hear your voice.
“No, you didn’t. You didn’t have to leave. You didn’t have to disappear. No note...nothing, you were just gone...” You try to speak, but your throat tightened up. A sound down the hall made him freeze, and he moved you inside the apartment, softly closing the door behind him.
“I thought you'd been taken, tortured for information...Worse. You removed every tracker I had for you. So why...Why did you leave?" He looked at you, and there was something different about you, but he couldn't work it out yet.
"I didn’t know how to tell you, Hyunjin.”
“We used to tell each other everything..." He whispers, making the guilt practically crush you. The two of you shared every single detail about each other with one another, but this...it felt different.
"So what couldn't you tell me?" He moved closer to you, and the words came rushing out,
“I’m pregnant.” Everything inside the apartment stilled. Just the soft sound of the smoke detector beeping alerted you that time hadn't actually stopped.
“I was scared.” You admit, and Hyunjin felt as though his heart had dropped out of his chest and shattered on the floor in front of you. Hyunjin never wanted to scare you,
"Of me?” His voice cracked.
“You always said your life wasn’t meant for softness...Or families. You’re the one who told me love was a weakness, that kids were liabilities. I thought if I told you, you’d say to get rid of it...” Hyunjin's face twists into hurt as he looks at you,
“You really think I’d make you kill the only good thing I’ve ever created?” The question stung, and you looked up at him,
“I didn’t want to give you the chance.” Hyunjin drops to his knees in front of you as he shakes his head.
"The baby that's in there," He says as he touches your stomach,
“It's a part of me. A part of you..We created life together, little muse.” He looks up at you, you run your hands through his wet hair, and you tear up. Who would have thought one of the toughest mafia men in the country would be so soft for you?
"You're the one real thing I have left in this life, and now there's more of you...You think I'd get rid of that."
“I didn’t want to trap you,” You cry, and he shakes his head at you,
“I was already yours. You trapped me long ago when you agreed to sleep with me.” He chuckles as you slowly sink down onto your knees with him, and he cradles you into his chest.
“I don’t give a shit about what I said before. I don’t care if it’s dangerous or messy. I want to protect this. You. Them. I’ll burn everything down if I have to.” He tells you as you move closer to him,
"You're not staying in this shit hole either, you're moving back in." He grumbles as he looks around at the disgusting apartment.
JISUNG:
The women's shelter you were working in was letting you sleep in the office during your stay there. They were allowing you to hide out while you tried to figure things out, whilst the owner encouraged you to tell Jisung about everything you weren't sure how to yet. Things were complicated.
Jisung had started up a friends-with-benefits situation with you because it was easier than a relationship, but a baby? A baby would throw a wrench into the works and wreck everything.
You just needed some time to think things through and decide what you were supposed to be doing.
"Where is she?!" You heard someone boom, and you instantly knew what was going on. Your heart raced as you stared at the office door, waiting for him to come in.
Someone must have denied knowing what or who he was talking about, as a string of curses flew from his lips and doors began to slam all the way down the hall.
The door to the office slams open so hard the frame shudders, and there he was. Soaked in rain and sweat, his eyes wild as he stares at you.
“Y/N?!”
“Jisung—” Within seconds, he closed the distance between you, his face was flushed as he took your face into his hands, turning you to light as if he was looking for signs of abuse or something being wrong. Once he realised you were fine, he shoved himself away from you.
"Are you fucking kidding me right now?! You just vanished? No call? No text?!" He stared around at the office, it was obvious you'd been staying here, but he couldn't think of why. He provided you with everything, a roof over your head, meals...Everything but you was staying here?
"I thought you were fucking dead! You've been hiding out here?" Your throat felt as though it was closing up. You hadn't expected him to see him so raw in front of you; usually, he was calm and collected and held everything inside.
“I didn’t know what else to do,” you whimper out, shaking your head.
“Bullshit!” he snaps. You always knew what to do, even in dangerous situations.
“You always know what to do. Fuck, you've been with me in shitty places, you've handled shootouts and stakeouts and interrogations like they were nothing. But you run from me? Did I do something wrong?” He panics, he'd been wrecking his mind for days since you'd disappeared, trying to figure out what he could have done to make you go.
"I was scared...Okay? I-I didn't know what to do! I was terrified." The air turned thick as Jisung looked at you,
"Of...of me?" He asks softly, and you sigh, shaking your head.
"Jisung-"
"Tell me...Was there someone else?" He knew he never gave you the chance to find someone else; you didn't even leave the mansion.
“…I’m pregnant.” You finally say, looking up at him. If you could see inside his brain, you would know the loading symbol would be there right now.
“I’m pregnant and it's yours..." You whispered, and Jisung shook his head. Slowly moving away from you as he leaned against the wall, his face crumpling.
"Y-You...You ran because you're pregnant? You were scared?" Tears fill your eyes as you shake your head. Things weren't exactly clear between the two of you; lines had been blurred since you started fucking.
"We...We were friends with benefits, Jisung. We made it clear it was just gonna be fun and no pressure, and then I took that fyucking test and I-"
"Did you think I'd make you...get rid of it?" He had to force himself not to cry as you looked at him. You looked broken, but he was too; it didn't just affect you.
“I didn’t know,” you sob. “I didn’t want to find out the hard way.” You cry as he moves toward you.
"We were sleeping together...We'd never labeled anything. I-I thought we were just...Sleeping together," Your words were coming out rushed and jumbled, and Jisung sighs reaching out and touching your cheek,
“I didn’t just sleep with you because I could.” He was nervous, his voice shaking. He'd been terrified to admit for a while that he wanted you because he was madly in love with you.
“I did it because I love you. But I thought if I said it, I’d lose you.” Your breath catches in your throat as you look up at him, and he chuckles softly.
“And now here we are. I was losing you anyway. Almost.” He smiles as you lean into his touch,
"I love you too, Jisung." You whisper before he kisses you softly.
FELIX:
As soon as that test had turned pink, you'd made plans to go home, just to get some space and think. You just dipped out of the house, you didn't tell Felix where you were going, and you didn't tell his men either. You hadn't thought anything of it; you figured it would be no big deal. You went home every now and again anyway, but you were wrong.
Felix took out the key to your apartment - the one you didn't even know he had and he opened the door
The door creaks open slowly, making you freeze on the sofa, you were half-curled up under a blanket, heart in your throat. You slowly reached out for the hockey stick you kept nearby. You'd been with a mafia don, you knew better than to sit alone unarmed,
but then you heard his voice, his tired and hurt voice.
“Angel…?” He stepped into view, and he relaxed a little seeing you there like nothing was wrong, but as you turned to face him, your breath caught in your throat. Felix looked completely broken. His eyes were red, his skin pale, and his hair was disheveled and under a hood. He was wearing a fucking hoodie instead of the suit you'd grown used to him wearing. You sat up quickly, dropping the blanket from your body.
“Felix—”
“You're okay.” His voice cracks as he studies you, his mind had been running overtime trying to convince him that something was wrong when you'd vanished from his grasp.
“I-I thought someone found you. Hurt you. I checked the hospitals. The morgues. I called in every favor I had.” He whispered, he didn't sound angry, he just seemed upset,
“I’m sorry,” you say as he looks at you.
“No, don't say sorry. Just tell me why. Why would you leave me like that?” You open your mouth, but you have no idea where to begin. It wasn't just something you could drop on him, but you knew he needed to hear it. It was his child, too.
“I’m pregnant.” The entire air in your apartment shifted, and he looked at you, tilting his head as if he'd misheard you,
“C-Come again?" He asks, his voice shaking a little as he looks down at your stomach.
“Pregnant. It’s yours. W-We're...We're having a baby, but-” Felix cut you off as he drops to his knees, touching your stomach and lifting up your shirt to expose the tiny bump on your stomach. You braced yourself for anger, you'd been beating yourself up thinking he was going to be pissed at you, but he was...crying.
Tears were spilling from his eyes as he shook his head, his lips trembling a little.
"We're pregnant...We're having a baby..."
"I... panicked a little. When I found out I...I just...I needed space. I didn't know if you wanted me...us.." Felix reeled back as if you'd just slapped him.
"You think I wouldn't want both of you? Jesus, angel. I would have dropped to my knees and begged you to marry me if you asked."
"Lix-"
"I've been hopelessly in love with you for years, angel. I'd do anything you ever wanted." He admits, as you laugh weakly, wiping the tears that were escaping from your eyes.
"I love you, too, Lixie."
SEUNGMIN:
“How did you find me?” You whisper as you look at Seungmin. He'd walked into the motel room like he owned the place, and he was calm. Too calm considering you'd been on the run for the last two weeks. He shrugs emotionlessly, and you feel a pang hit you. You had no right to feel hurt; you knew that, but it didn't mean you didn't feel it still.
“You left behind a messy trail. I thought I taught you better. People always do when they run scared.” He states as he looks around the room, his eyes scanning as if he were looking for something in particular. Your heart twists tightly, and you realise it might have already known what you were hiding.
“I didn’t think you’d—”
“What?” His voice is low, cutting you off quickly as he narrows his eyes at you.
“Didn’t think I’d care?” He asks you coldly, causing you to flinch.
“I looked for you for two weeks. Lost sleep. Canceled every deal, every meeting. I had every asset looking for you; all my manpower went into hunting for you."
“I had a reason.” You state, and his jaw ticks, a smirk tugging at the corners of his lips.
“I hope to God it’s a good one-"
“I’m pregnant.” You say cutting him off, and the cold look on his face vanishes within seconds.
"I ran because I was scared you'd want me to get rid of it...." Seungmin felt as though you were ripping his heart out of his chest.
“You really think that little of me?” He mumbles, sinking onto the chair that was inside the motel room. You watched him closely and sighed a little.
"You always said nothing was serious...That love is messy, your life was shitty, and you didn't allow any kind of softness to show. That people like us don't get families or anything good." Seungmin cursed under his breath and ran his hands over his face. He'd always been good at keeping a distance between you, putting that stretch between you so he wouldn't have to risk losing you.
“I was talking about me. I was trying to protect you. From me. From the world I live in...But you're in too deep for me to ever let you go.” He says that as you move toward him, he pulls you toward him by your hips, making you stand between his legs.
“You didn’t want a family.” You whisper, but he shakes his head at you. It wasn't that he didn't want one.
“I never expected to be blessed with one. But you didn’t even give me the chance to think about it.” You swallow hard as you look down at him, his eyes are burning with tears threatening to spill.
“You really thought I was capable of that?” His voice softens, barely audible. “That I’d make you end it?” Tears were already streaming down your face, and you sobbed a little, the sound breaking him,
“I didn't know what to think, okay? I was scared of trapping you. Forcing you to take care of me." His fingers brush over your hips softly as he nods his head. He was doing his best to see things from your side.
“I’ve done some fucking shitty things,” he murmurs. “But I would never hurt you. Or this child.” He shakes his head, kissing your stomach as your lip wobbles.
“I didn’t think you wanted me,” you admit, and he stood up, bringing you into his arms, your head resting against his chest.
“That’s the problem, isn’t it? I spent so long pretending I didn’t, you believed it.” He sighs, kissing the top of your head,
"No one's taking you or my child away from me." He promises as you cuddle closer to him.
JEONGIN:
This cabin was out in the middle of nowhere. No one, besides you and your brother, knew that this place existed, and yet there was a knock at the door. Your brother would have let himself inside. He had the key; he wouldn't knock.
But there it was again.
Swallowing the lump in your throat, you put down the book you were reading and crept over to the door, peeking through the peephole to see Jeongin standing there. He looked broken, his shoulders hunched over like the world was sitting on them, and his eyes were red. Jeongin never cried in front of anyone...not even you.
You knew you couldn't hide from him forever, but you'd come out here for some space to think, trying to give yourself time to come up with what to say to him, but it appeared as though you had no other choice now. You slowly unlock and pull the door open with a shaky breath.
“Jeongin…”
“You’re here,” He whispers, before you can respond, he wraps his arms around you and brings you into an embrace, your breath catching as you hated the way you relaxed instantly against him. But as quickly as he had hugged you, he let you go.
"You ran off," He grumbles, and you move so he can come further inside, shutting the door behind him,
"I had to," You whisper, running your hands up and down your arms in a self-soothing motion as he shakes his head at you.
"You left...Ghosted me. No call...no goodbye....I-I...I didn't know if you'd died or someone took you!" His voice was cracking as tears threatened to spill down his face; all he'd done for the last week was hunt for you, cry, and hunt some more.
"I-I've been fucking terrified." Guilt crushed down on you as you looked down at the floor,
“I didn’t do it to hurt you,” you whisper.
“Then why?” He begged, he was desperate to know if he'd done something wrong or if he'd hurt you in some way. He'd wrecked his brain trying to figure it out, but nothing would make sense.
"I'm pregnant...Innie...and it's yours," the words came out, and instantly he looked at you,
“I didn’t know how to tell you. I thought… I thought you’d be angry. Or scared. Or that you’d make me get rid of it.” He looked pained by that alone, and you sighed,
"You think I'd do that?" He was offended, and he had every right to be.
“I-I don't know! I panicked...You kept m-mentioning how you're one of the youngest mafia dons in Seoul and know you’re still figuring everything out. I didn’t want to dump this on you—”
“You’re not dumping anything on me.” His voice finally rises, anger spewing out as he realizes you'd run with his child inside of you.
“You’re carrying my kid. And you didn’t even give me the chance to step up.” Tears blur your vision as you whimper a little.
“I didn’t want to force you into something you weren’t ready for.” He stalks his way toward you, stopping in front of you as he shakes his head,
“I’m not ready,” he says, breathless. “I don’t know how to be a dad. I don’t even know if I’m good at being your friend.” Your heart broke hearing the cracks in his voice, and he smiles weakly,
“I'll learn to be ready...I'll learn everything I need to." He states as he slowly reaches his hand out and settles on your belly, a warm smile spreading over his lips,
"Holy shit, we're gonna be parents," He chuckles before tears roll down his cheeks, and he wraps his arms around you. Because no matter how young or unready he felt, he was going to stay, and there was no way in hell you were going to go through any of this alone.
Chan was working on his laptop when he heard soft snores coming from his lap. Slowly, he froze a little and looked down at you, stopping mid-task and smirking to himself as he saw how peaceful you looked. You always tried to stay awake with him whenever he was working late, but every time you ended up asleep with your head in his lap or some other way.
Slowly, he brushed a strand of hair out of your face and watched you with a soft smile, butterflies erupting inside of him as he looked at you. Within seconds, though, he took out his phone and took a picture - just for himself - to remember how sweet you looked. By now, there was a large folder full of pictures of you sleeping against him or on the sofa inside his office.
MINHO:
"Hyung, Yn is asleep." Jeongin suddenly whispers through the quiet room. You'd joined the boys for a night in with a movie, and you'd once again fallen asleep halfway through the film right against Minho's lap. Looking down at you he had to force himself to hide the smile that was threatening to show and he rolls his eyes in front of the others, pretending to be annoyed with how quickly you'd fallen asleep, but while they weren't looking, he slowly traced invisible patterns into your skin while you slept. Secretly, Minho loved it when you would fall asleep against him because it meant he got to have some peace and quiet with you.
CHANGBIN:
As soon as Changbin realised you were asleep, he turned stiff and awkward, not wanting to move in fear of you waking up, he looked down at you and smiled to himself. You looked so peaceful,
"So pretty, baby." He whispers as he looks at you. Proud of himself that you felt safe enough to sleep against him, flexing to the boys that you'd fallen asleep against him, and he was clearly comforting to be around. Whispering sweet nothings to your sleeping form as he ran his fingers over your skin and just enjoyed the feeling of you so close to him.
HYUNJIN:
Hyunjin watches you sleep with your head on his lap, tracing his finger over your features, starting with your jaw and cheekbones, gently brushing his fingers over your lips, and smiling to himself. Luckily, his sketch book was within reach, and he slowly began to sketch you, capturing the peaceful moment just for himself.
Soft kisses were placed on your forehead every now and then, and he placed a blanket around your body since it was on the back of the sofa.
JISUNG:
Once Felix had pointed out to Jisung that you'd fallen asleep against his lap, Jisung went into panic mode,
"What do I do?! Do I move?! Can I breathe?! Do they need a blanket?!" he whispered to Felix who was holding back a chuckle seeing Jisung freaking out a little.
"They've been asleep until now, Jisung...Just relax," he whispers back to him, and Jisung nods with widened eyes, staring at you as you sleep. Smiling to himself as he snuck a photo of you, turning it into a video and speaking in a cute voice,
"Cute, Jagiya sleeping against me."
FELIX:
Without even hesitating, Felix reached for the blanket behind him and gently draped it over your body, grabbed a pillow, and slowly - and carefully - lifted your head and placed the pillow on his lap so it was comfier for you to sleep against him. Smirking to himself as he ran his fingers up and down your back, softly humming songs to you as he looked down at you. Smiling like you were the most precious thing ever in his life.
"Love you, baby." He whispers as he places a soft kiss on your temple and you snuggled closer to him.
SEUNGMIN:
You hadn't meant to fall asleep, but as soon as Seungmin noticed, he smirked to himself,
"Great, guess I live here now," he joked sarcastically, moving himself around to make sure you were in the most comfortable position you could be while on his lap, and he grabbed his phone, scrolling for a while. Seungmin loved it when you slept against him, even if he did make jokes and tease you about it days later, he always enjoyed the silent and quiet moments he got to spend with you, just like this. He wouldn't change a damn thing about it.
JEONGIN:
The moment you shifted a little and moved closer to Jeongin, he stiffened up a little, nervous to mess up your sleep, and he tried to stay as still as possible for you. A subtle blush began to overtake his cheeks as he smiled to himself.
"Channie-Hyung, they fell asleep." He whispered over at Chan, who was in the kitchen, coming over to look at you both as he took a photo with Jeongin's phone and smiled, leaving you both alone on the sofa. Jeongin smiles and puts his hand gently on your arm, grounding you in your sleep as he did his best not to fall asleep with you.
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