Love, Melancholia

Me, myself & I.

[lovemelancholia]

This place is my safe heaven.

[lovemelancholia]

That’s why i cannot talk to you

[lovemelancholia]

As you grew older:

Having a good beer and playing song in youtube is a form of comfort.

[lovemelancholia]

Once I paid everything, I will break up.

I will get back my freedom, my happiness and the whole of me again.

I will never believe in this shit.

[lovemelancholia]

Thank you Coach Geza.

Rest in Peace.

Sorry I didn’t save enough to go Hungary to visit you.

But thank you so much for supporting me in my fencing years and standing up for me when I get bullied.

I love this pic cos u every time say me HAHAH. You never once raise your voice at me even if I did badly in my competition.

Missed you and thank you.

[lovemelancholia]

Joining the I met my younger self for coffee

She is early, I was late.

We both look almost the same. I guess we both are vain. We both order the same drink, tea.

As we started our conversation, I realized nothing much changed. I see a girl hopelessly in love, searching for the right Love.

I told her the right Love will only comes when you have learn how to love yourself right. Prioritize yourself first. Never look for love in Guy if you do not learn how to love yourself.

Be independent, earn more money so you will be happy.

But don’t waste these money buying friends. It’s fine that you have no friends. They don’t deserve to be your friends because they are jealous of you.

Earn money and let them be more jealous of you. Pray to Jesus, let him get the RIGHT ONE for you.

Continue to be pretty and hardworking. Love yourself. Jesus is always there for you. Believe and have faith.

[lovemelancholia]

Don’t know why.

Maybe being in debt is the only way to keep me alive.

Reached all the goals in life.

Lived the fullest.

What is there for me to do?

[anditslove]

Billy Chapata, Chameleon Aura

[lovemelancholia]

God is great!

I am so excited for this new journey and I prayed all thing will be good.

Thank you Jesus. <3 God is really great.

[lovemelancholia]

When I was young I told everybody I want to get married before 30. Now I am 30 and I do not want to get married.

In fact the word married scares me.

[letsbelonelytogetherr]

— David Foster Wallace, The Pale King

[remanence-of-love]

[originalromanticsir]

I've never done that. When I know, I know,

And that's all I need to know.

[typewriter-worries]

The Glass Essay, Anne Carson | Molly Brodak, Molly Brodak

[multivious]

[anditslove]

Margaret Atwood, The Blind Assassin

[journalofsolitude]

Morgan Harper Nichols’ ‘Let July be July’

[lovemelancholia]

Reach 30 but inside is just sadness and emptiness.

I thought things will go smoothly but nope, it doesn’t seem like it but I am still holding on to that hope.

I pray to Jesus please let it all goes smoothly. Let me have another job so my income can be more stable. Let me have my bonus. Let me clear all my debts. Please. That’s my birthday wish.

I pray all this in Jesus name Amen.