Specifically my - for the majority of my life - horrible, unfair perception of men. And how it prevented me from even attempting transition.
"Men are gross, men are rapists, men are violent, men are inferior, men are nothing but danger."
So therefore, I, believing the gender I was assigned as - a "man", a "boy" - am gross. Am violent. Am dangerous. Am a potential rapist. Am inferior. Being hurt by men just solidified this for me.
Everything remotely masculine became a threat.
When dysphoria started hitting me like a truck in my teens, I didn't allow it to speak a word. "I just want to escape manhood", "I just want to deny the fact that I'm inferior", "I just want to pretend like I'm anything but a rapist waiting to happen", "I just want to blend in and seem safe to others while being a threat", "As if I could be a woman. As if I could be someone that has any value."
Even though nobody that I was around really perceived me as a man. I was... "something". Too feminine and 'cute' to be a man, but socially I'm supposed to be one... some weird "thing" this one is. "This thing" is safe to be around. "This thing" is not really a man, so it's okay.
And well, in retrospect, they weren't wrong. I'm not a man. Not a woman either, even if I do choose to use "transfem" as one of my ever shifting labels.
But I have seen myself and other people act this way around trans men and other genderqueer folk. "This is not a real man. This is safe." Never said directly, but always present. How fucking ridiculous is that. That's fucked up.
When I am reading the experiences of struggling trans men, masc-presenting enbies, queer or GNC men in general, when I see transfemmes that over-idolize femininity, views of TERFs and radfems that fetishize their perception of feminine and demonize what they perceive as masculine, queers that parrot their words...
I see a repetition. "Men don't deserve to exist". Whether it is an internalized 'truth' that transmascs or any masc presenting folk are struggling with, a trauma response from those that have been hurt by men, or a direct attack at anything that attempts to find beauty in manhood.
And it is horrible. It is saddening, and it is damaging to us all.
Because, fuck my brain.
Men are beautiful.
Men are wonderful.
And hell, we need more kind men. Kind men that love, that support, that grow.
Systemic patriarchy fucks everyone over. Even when it benefits some.
Saman Yasin, a 27 year old Iranian-Kurdish rapper was arrested in early October for supporting the protests over the death of Jina Mahsa Amini.Â
Saman was arrested in his home on October 2 on the charge of waging âa war against God.â
Iranâs penal code prohibits acts of ârebellion,â including aiding and abetting anything that âcauses severe disruption in the public order of the state and insecurity.â Any person found guilty of doing so will be considered âcorrupt on earthâ and sentenced to death.
Apparently, he is being held in Evin prison, along with thousands of other political prisoners. He has been tortured physical and mentally.Â
His family hired a lawyer for his case, but the lawyer was not allowed to see Saman. His lawyer was not allowed to be resent at his trial. In fact, these âtrialsâ are nothing but sham trails. Prisoners are tortured for false confessions, which are then broadcast on state TV to discredit them before the sham trials.Â
Saman sang about inequality, oppression and unemployment. â
Saman and over 15,000 other political prisoners are facing execution. Please spread the word. Do not stay silent.Â
I love people who make others feel seen, heard, appreciated, supported, and loved. People with gorgeous hearts, open minds & gentle energy. The rare gems who make you feel deeply understood, give you total freedom to be yourself and make you feel beautiful, just for being YOU.
If you are on any social media, like Instagram and Tik Tok, then you can understand the title very well.
But if you don't know (you're either living under a rock or you're an angel who's able to keep themselves away from social media toxicity) then lemme tell you, a clip in which two animated character can be heard saying "Hmph, women" followed by a laugh while sipping on their coffee, has gone viral and has now become a trend.
The clip of the animated character is from a video on YouTube called, "Infomercial: The Pill", posted on 9th October,2017.
Now taking inspiration from this trend (seriously?) people has started commenting this phrase (Women â) on most of the posts where females are shown doing something silly. (Basically stating every women is idiot and has no common sense.)
Like I saw this reel on Instagram where a girl walks into a glass door. And unsurprisingly the comment section was filled with "Women â". What does that even mean?! Do you think that this can't happen with boys? That the glass doors have magnet that only attract a person with long hair, face full of makeup and wearing a dress? (that's how you'd define "women", won't you? Typical.)*groans in exasperation* Let me just tell you this real quick, this the act of walking into the glass door, can happen to anyone regardless of the gender. I know it may come as a surprise but 'Men' can also accidentally walk into glass door. (Shocking! I know.) .
*there are many more like this*
Should we start writing 'Men â' below the posts that states "A man raped a women" again? Should we comment 'Men â' when we read about a husband beating his wife to death, again? Should we start saying 'Men â' when we hear about drunk fight break out between men on stupid topic? Why can't we write 'Men â' when a women is forced to abort or give up her new born girl child?
No. No, we can't do that. Because these same people, who get a kick out of writing 'Women â', will come out with a Big Banner saying "NOT ALL MEN ARE SAME!" . Oh, look at the irony, will ya?!
If you don't like to be stereotyped then DON'T stereotype others. (yeah, it's that simple.)
And you know what i have noticed? When someone does something stupid, they say "Oh! you are so dumb haha!!" but the moment a female does the same mistake, comments like "Girls are so dumb" and the infamous "Women â", are said. Do you really not see what the problem is? (I leave it to you to really think about it.)
What I actually want to say is we can't go around making assumptions and generalizing stuffs about anyone or any group of people, be it for men or women. It also doesn't mean that we start commenting 'Men' as a revenge or something because; firstly, it won't achieve anything and secondly we would be doing the same thing i.e. Stereotyping. If it's wrong when people stereotype women, then stereotyping men is wrong too. [ Stereotyping anyone is wrong.]
As you may have able to tell the topic hits too close to home. So thank you for reading my (not so) slightly intense rant. :)
You can read my blog on Abuse here.
Please stay safe. Keep smiling. Drink lots of water. And I believe in you that you're capable of achieving whatever goal you've set for yourself. All you need to do is keep faith in yourself :)
I'm all ears if you wanna talk to me about anything. You can message me here on tumblr. (:
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