Pick Up Quotes

"Find: Funny Lines, Famous Quotes, Jokes, Emotions, Greetings, Goodbye’s, Love, Prayers, Thoughts, Feelings, Arguments, Famous Phrases, Proverbs, Etc. They are all here."

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Put all your eggs in one basket and—WATCH THAT BASKET. Puddn’head Wilson

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He is useless on top of the ground; he ought to be under it, inspiring the cabbages. Pudd’nhead Wilson

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Noise proves nothing. Often a hen who has merely laid an egg cackles as if she had laid an asteroid. Following the Equator

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There ain’t no way to find out why a snorer can’t hear himself snore. Tom Sawyer Abroad

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Unexpected money is a delight. The same sum is a bitterness when you expected more. Letter

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We have no thoughts of our own, no opinions of our own: they are transmitted to us, trained into us. A Connecticut Yankee in King Arthur’s Court

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There isn’t anything you can’t stand, if you are only born and bred to it. A Connecticut Yankee in King Arthur’s Court

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Few of us can stand prosperity—another man’s I mean. Following the Equator

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I believe you keep a lawyer. I have always kept a lawyer, too, though I have never made anything out of him. “Author’s Club” (speech)

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To succeed in other trades, capacity must be shown; in the law, concealment of it will do. Following the Equator

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It takes your enemy and your friend, working together, to hurt you to the heart; the one to slander you and the other to get the news to you. Following the Equator

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You can straighten a worm, but the crook is in him and only waiting. More Maxims of Mark, Merle Johnson, Ed.

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The holy passion of Friendship is of so sweet and steady and loyal and enduring a nature that it will last through a whole lifetime, if not asked to lend money. Pudd’nhead Wilson

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It is your human environment that makes climate. Following the Equator

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Constellations have always been troublesome things to name. If you give one of them a fanciful name, it will always refuse to live up to it; it will always persist in not resembling the thing it has been named for. Following the Equator

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When it comes down to pure ornamental cursing, the native American is gifted above the sons of men. Roughing It

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The idea that no gentleman ever swears is all wrong; he can swear and still be a gentleman if he does it in a nice and benevolent and affectionate way. Taxes and Morals (speech)