So. You're aromantic. I wish I could say I'm happy for you. I wish I could say that I am truly happy that you know a little more about yourself,but the truth is I can't. Does that make me a bad person? Does that make me selfish? You'd hate me if you knew, so I'll put on a smile and pretend that everything's okay. Pretend that I'm not in pain, fighting back tears. I am happy for you, but not for me. I know you can't help it, but neither can I. I know that in a way I wished for this. I wished that I could know what you truly thought of me, I wished that I could have some sort of closure. But I also wished you'd fall in love with me. I wished so many times, so why did no one listen? Why am I destined to be single forever? Why am I destined to constantly fall for those I can't have? Those who don't want me. I want you to hold me. I want you to kiss me and hold my hand. To hug me when I'm feeling down, to keep me safe. I suppose you can do most of those things whilst still remaining friends with me, but it's not the same. It doesn't have the same level of intimacy love does. Am I unlovable? Does everyone just hate me? I hate myself. I should be happy. I should be glad you're happy. I'm not. I'm despicable. I hate myself. So much.








