nine years
i doubt anyone will actually read this but i got EMO on my drive home from school today.
i keep all of taylor’s albums in my glovebox and the other day, as my friend and i were leaving Michael’s (part of a WILD saturday night), i asked her to pick an album for us to listen to on the way home- she picked Fearless. we sang (screamed) along to all of the songs and i felt like i was 15 again.
today while driving home from nashville, i realized fearless was still in the stereo. i turned off the spotify playlist i was listening to and switched to fearless. i immediately began to think about how different my life would be right now if not for taylor.
i started my fourth year at belmont in the fall- my fourth year living in nashville. i live in a house off campus, so for the first time it really feels like i live in nashville. i discovered belmont on a trip to nashville with my mom the summer after my sophomore year of high school. we went down to nashville to see the speak now tour exhibit at the country music hall of fame. we also checked out some of taylor’s favorite nashville spots that she mentioned in that us weekly collector’s edition magazine (remember the one i’m talking about??)
i completely fell in LOVE with nashville. the people were so kind and there was this magical feeling in the air. this was around the time i started thinking about college, and as we were driving around i saw a sign for belmont. i’d never heard of belmont, but i immediately put it on my list because i was so in love with nashville. and somehow, it all worked out.
i recognize that i am extremely lucky. it doesn’t “all work out” very often, but for me, it did. i’m not sure what i did to deserve it, but i’m endlessly thankful. a whole lot has changed since my freshman year of college. there have been some “how can this even be real i didn’t know this kind of happiness exists” moments and there have also been some “i’ve never felt a low like this i’m not sure if i can do this anymore” moments.
all of this to say, my life would be VERY different right now if not for taylor. i wouldn’t have taken that trip to nashville and i’m not sure i would’ve found belmont. i wouldn’t have the same friends- the people who are so incredibly important to me. i know i would’ve gone to a different college (probably one closer to home) and i’m sure i would’ve had the same highs and lows, but i’m so grateful that this part of my life has taken place in nashville.
i’m graduating in december (i student teach next semester) and i’m planning on staying in nashville for at least a few years. life is really good right now y’all. it hasn’t all been rainbows and sunshine. it hasn’t been easy. it’s been really difficult at times. i’ve had lonely nights and days filled with anxiety, i’ve cried and sobbed on the phone with my mom, i’ve wanted to just give up and hide under a rock for the rest of my life. but i made it through the really, really hard days to discover that the really, really good days are worth the temporary pain.
in june, this blog will turn 9. NINE YEARS OLD. i realize i’m rambling at this point, but stick with me. i never really had a strong group of friends in high school. i felt lonely much of the time. navigating high school alone is scary, but i knew that at the end of the day, i wasn’t really alone. y’all played such a vital role in my life. i’m so grateful for the time you extended to me, it means more than you’ll ever know. i know i’m not on here often anymore, but i just wanted to say thank you. thank you for (almost) nine years of good, bad, and ugly.
and thank you, @taylorswift. my life sure would be different if not for you.
