ind. multi muse ... ft. characters from various media. this is a dynamic driven blog. i prefer a small, but interactive following. interactions ic and ooc are a must. there will be mature (and possibly triggering) subjects present on this blog - including procedural shows, and lots of trauma portrayed in various forms. this blog is to highlight the flaws and struggles of being a person, of feeling, and the consequences of all that. do not interact: if you're below the age under twenty one + if you're a personal blog. please remember to always curate your own dash, as will i.
LINKS: THE RULES. THE ROSTER. MEMES. roster under the cut.
muselist primary - available to all. check exclusives listed.
off campus + sports, dean heyward di laurentis. (exclusives: allie hayes (♡), garrett graham, john tucker.) hannah wells. (exclusives: garrett graham (♡), allie hayes.) john logan. (exclusives: garrett graham (♡), grace ivers (♡), john tucker.) shane hollander. (exclusives: ilya rozanov (♡).)
modern tv + books, isabel 'belly' conklin. (exclusives: conrad fisher (♡), jeremiah fisher, laurel park, steven conklin.) billie black. (exclusives: n/a.) violet eaton. (exclusives: n/a.) tabitha garrison. (exclusives: n/a.) bridget von ascheberg. (exclusives: n/a.) indigo 'indy' ivers. (exclusives: n/a) miller montgomery. (exclusives: n/a.) lorelai 'rory' gilmore. (exclusives: n/a.) elizabeth 'bess' taft sinclair. (exclusives: n/a.) penelope 'penny' taft sinclair. (exclusives: blythe raleigh.)
procedurals, connor rhodes. (exclusives: samira mohan (♡), carol danvers (♡).) hailey upton. (exclusives: n/a.) jay halstead. (exclusives: lois lane (♡), erin lindsay (♡).) josephine 'jo' wilson. (alex karev (♡), eddie diaz (♡).) emma nolan. (exclusives: n/a.) kelly severide. (stella kidd (♡), carol danvers (♡), eddie diaz (♡) leslie shay, matt casey.) * kelly is not open to new ships. kimberly 'kim' burgess. (exclusives: adam ruzek (♡).)
* .℧ ﹠ M. DONNER , there something sacred here between them ... something built in the ruins of death and grief and anger. the easiest thing it does is keep her up late. the midnight moon high in the sky. what she doesn't say— what she doesn't think she has to say because haymitch has been inside her walls at this very same hour— is that she isn't sure when the last time she properly slept was. something wild and rabid and hungry burns away in her core. it makes it hard to sleep. as if her bones are gnawing on themselves. never fed full. too much like the damned, just to realize she has always been the damned anyway. the path of healing weak against her rage. how could she heal when half of her will always be dead? it isn't a luxury, to be able to pinpoint the exact moment in time where she knew thee would always be something burning inside of her. AND IT'S WHY SHE CAN'T SLEEP. ( why haymitch will have her through every long night until the light billows through her curtains at next sunrise ) merilee lives in the dark. and it's a sick thing ... since she used to be all light.
her chest bloats with a breath. a lapse between his words and her own and the words writhe on her tongue. then, you should have stuck to your guns. you shouldn't have had ally's. CORRECTION: YOU SHOULDN'T HAVE LET ME BY YOUR ALLY. ❝ oh, hay ... it's too late for that. ❞ her voice is unnaturally soft. woven in love, in something just for him ... nobody else gets to see this side of her. there isn't anyone left alive who knows of its existence. they whisper about what she could have been like. if she wasn't reaped, would she have been kinder? would she still walk on sharpened knives? bare a tongue of ferocity? she rolls her eyes, then, taps her finger against the glass bottle she'd taken from him. ❝ i go and this comes with me either way. ❞ he won't get rid of her that easily. in his heart of hearts, she thinks he knows that too.
❝ i don't know if eager is the word i'd used, but you sure seem eager to get rid of me. not that i'm surprised. i thought you'd bare a couple more teeth though. ❞ curfew swallowed the night before she had a chance to venture back across the unpaved road. she could break the rule ... it wouldn't be the first one she's broken, and she's sure it won't be the last. THE FIRST IS STILL A SCAR INDENTED ON HER NECK FROM THE TRAIN RIDE THAT STARTED IT ALL. ❝ i don't think i have many barters with peacekeepers left in me. ❞ she could go until the soul was sucked out of her but she thinks there's less hours until dawn than the peacekeepers would give her. stretching back into the chair, maysilee reaches her foot out to nudge his leg. an innocent gesture of sweet surrender. ❝ so this is a favour of equal opportunity for us both. ❞
it was like their rot was the same. like the scent of decay was following them around - like everyone around them saw four ghosts hanging out, but maysilee and haymitch knew better. sure, the ghosts just out of their reach were the four ones standing next to them. his ma with her tear stained cheeks as she waved goodbye to him. his brother asking him to come back home. lenore dove with her hands around his neck. he stole her life, he stole her freedom. all for what? for loving him despite the fact that he was a hopeless fool? - he should've kept his head down. he should've been quiet. this had been his last year in the pot of rotten gold. he had gone free, but no.
it was too late now anyways. merilee was gone, and lenore dove was gone. ma and sid burned up in the fire, but whatever was left of them was buried in the night alongside maysilee's other half. maybe she thinks of her as a better half. she'd be wrong. maybe she's right. but to haymitch she only has good sides. riiiight until she takes his bottle. it was the last one in the house, so he was particularly attached to that. he had to go outside in the morning to get more. more loot for his blood money. maybe he'd see burdock and asterid and their little girl - no. he's choking on that image too. another name for someone to announce, and another life to lose for entertainment while what? while he and maysilee stand and watch. " you can't take that from me, i still feel myself breathing. " and it isn't spoken in spite. it doesn't come through gritted teeth. it's tired, he's so tired. he wants to lie down, lie down and fall into an endless sleep. he doesn't want to witness another sunrise.
the nudge of her foot is welcome, she's always welcome, he only lies about that at least seven times a day. but he usually doesn't mean it. if there's one person he doesn't get sick to his gut whenever seeing these days? it's maysilee donner, his co-victor. and maybe she's the reason he hasn't drank enough for his heart to quit on him yet. " i don't think you realize what would happen to me, if they took you too. " he whispers out in warning, before he picks up her foot. giving it a small squeeze before he starts kneading at it to keep his hands busy. when they're busy with maysilee? he doesn't feel the sticky blood so much. " what favor am i doing you? - i'm not sharing that, " pointing to the glass bottle in her hand. haymitch hadn't been drinking enough tonight, because he still cared whether or not he was alive.
@lovetold liked a lennon harding starter for billie black.
SHIT, SHIT, SHIT. she's gonna be so late. horseriding before school didn't normally cause a ruckus but she'd fallen asleep way out in the grass and she has twenty minutes to get out the door and the few miles to the high school. digs through kitchen drawers, pawing at items for keys, before she lifts her head and calls, “ mom! hey, mom? do you know where the keys are? ” grass is sticking out of her hair, sleep still in her eyes as she yawns. THEY'RE GONNA CALL HER HORSE GIRL EVEN WORSE NOW. turns her head toward the other with lips pressed tight together. “ i fell asleep. did dad or uncle cole take the truck? ” maybe she'll get lucky and get to stay home from school. she can help out, muck out stalls or whatever. help with lessons. her favorite place in the world is at gold rush. school, with half rancher kids half spoiled ones, has never been lennon harding's favorite place on the planet.
billie black was a horse girl through and through - but she was more now too. she was a wife, and a mother. and she loves those titles just as much, if not a little more. but you better not tell her horses she ever said so. so billie's walking around the love cabin in her riding pants and a polo, ready to get started on work, thinking that both her children are already at school, so imagine her frown when she hears the voice of her sweet baby girl call out for her. and the truck keys her husband had, so she groans as she peeks her head out from upstairs. " lennie, we thought you'd gone with your cousin since we couldn't find you anywhere. the boys, " her husband and brother-in-law. " have the truck. there's no getting out, kid. wait, was this part of your evil mastermind plan for me to ask you to help me out instead? wicked smart, don't do it again though. "
and then she ties her hair in a ponytail while walking down the stairs to see her kid. kissing her cheek, because this kid was amazing and well, of course she was. billie had been cooking her for nine months. " school's so awful that we're skipping now? " concern colors dark brows on lightly tan skin. she's worried, maybe even fussing. she loves being a mom, but she had never been as worried in her entire life, as she was now raising two kids. her fingers move to brush over hair that is so much like her own, and the worried frown sweetens into an adoring smile. " how 'bout this. i need to ride this new horse we've got, just to get a feel of her - you grab a more steady one, like mister black, and we take a ride around the pasture? you can tell me where you were, and why you've got grass in your hair before eight a.m? " she has a inkling feeling that she already knows, that her daughter is so much like herself.
・ ⸺ ⋆ he didn't want to be grumpy with pippa. there were plenty of other things he'd rather be with pippa ... some were innocent, most were dirty. a few he was certain she would like. he couldn't stop thinking about the look on her face when he bought her her dream guitar. HER VOICE, as she sang some of her written songs for him. HIS SONGBIRD. so he was going to try to be less grumpy. show that he liked having her here, rather than push her away.
“ I MADE PANCAKES. ” jamie says again, because apparently he couldn't say much else. not when he knew exactly what she was doing on the other side of his wall. money he spends on this place, and the walls are paper fucking thin. his mouth open to speak again, but in bounces in daisy ... tail wagging, going straight for pippa. UNDERSTANDABLE. “ she's a mouth-breather. ” it's grumbled, going back to plating breakfast for them. “ and apparently has to sleep beside me, under the covers. HAVE YOU BEEN TEACHING MY DOG BAD HABITS? ”
there's hearts in her eyes, especially as they shift between him and the cutest little four legged girl in her arms. eyes so soft. tender to match his flame, not to make them rise higher, but maybe to tame and shape. " you made pancakes. " she nods in agreement, because he stated so twice now and because the scent of the sweet baked pancakes were tickling her nostrils and teasing her stomach. she was so hungry, and ready to eat before taking miss daisy on her first walk of the day. she had big plans about the park, including a frisbee. so she puts down daisy with a kiss to her head, watching how she runs straight for jamie - as her second choice. and maybe that makes her feel a little special. at least someone in this house was happy to have her around.
" she is not a mouth-breather! she's a girl! we don't do things like that, and no men certainly gets to claim so, and especially in public. " eyes glimmer as she watches him, teasing him with so much heart. he couldn't keep being grumpy with her - right? she'd thaw him up eventually, with so much charm and kindness. " maybe i can feed daisy her breakfast while you.. portion ours? " smiling as she bounces with a certain pep in her step. walking to the cabinet with her food, rattling the little cup before putting some to the bowl. then adding a bit of water to make the sauce and kibble mix she loves so much. " i haven't been teaching her bad habits! she knew them all on her own. " but now she's blushing, because she has been sleeping with daisy in her bed for weeks on end now, and she only just realizes that maybe she shouldn't have. " i'm sorry. i'm going to take her to the park today, and um.. i'll keep my door closed from now on, if that's what you prefer. "
