เญจเง ... LET'S GO DANCING IN THE RAIN ... เญจเง
ind. multi muse ... ft. characters from various media. this is a dynamic driven blog. i prefer a small, but interactive following. interactions ic and ooc are a must. there will be mature (and possibly triggering) subjects present on this blog - including procedural shows, and lots of trauma portrayed in various forms. this blog is to highlight the flaws and struggles of being a person, of feeling, and the consequences of all that. do not interact: if you're below the age under twenty one + if you're a personal blog. please remember to always curate your own dash, as will i.
LINKS: THE RULES. THE ROSTER. MEMES. roster under the cut.
muselist primary - available to all. check exclusives listed.
off campus + sports, dean heyward di laurentis. (exclusives: allie hayes (โก), garrett graham, john tucker.) hannah wells. (exclusives: garrett graham (โก), allie hayes.) john logan. (exclusives: garrett graham (โก), grace ivers (โก), john tucker.) shane hollander. (exclusives: ilya rozanov (โก).)
modern tv + books, isabel 'belly' conklin. (exclusives: conrad fisher (โก), jeremiah fisher, laurel park, steven conklin.) billie black. (exclusives: n/a.) violet eaton. (exclusives: n/a.) tabitha garrison. (exclusives: n/a.) bridget von ascheberg. (exclusives: n/a.) indigo 'indy' ivers. (exclusives: n/a) miller montgomery. (exclusives: n/a.) lorelai 'rory' gilmore. (exclusives: n/a.) elizabeth 'bess' taft sinclair. (exclusives: n/a.) penelope 'penny' taft sinclair. (exclusives: blythe raleigh.)
procedurals, connor rhodes. (exclusives: samira mohan (โก), carol danvers (โก).) hailey upton. (exclusives: n/a.) jay halstead. (exclusives: lois lane (โก), erin lindsay (โก).) josephine 'jo' wilson. (alex karev (โก), eddie diaz (โก).) emma nolan. (exclusives: n/a.) kelly severide. (stella kidd (โก), carol danvers (โก), eddie diaz (โก) leslie shay, matt casey.) * kelly is not open to new ships. kimberly 'kim' burgess. (exclusives: adam ruzek (โก).)
โฝ INT. OUTSIDE CONNOR'S APARTMENT, LATE AT NIGHT. CONNOR RHODES: FINALLY SUCCUMBING TO THE THICK TENSION AND COLLIDING FEVERISHLY. @lovetold
three sharp knocks echo through the empty corridor. for a heartbeat, carol considers bolting. she counted the number of seconds the short walk from the elevator to connor's door took herโfifteen, to be preciseโand she should still have time to run in the opposite direction before he ever finds out she was here. however, before the regret can fully entrench itself and trigger a flight response, the door swings open, and she finds herself a deer caught in the headlights.
โย ย hey,ย ย โ carol scrambles, pale-faced and wide-eyed, her pulse racing at a pace the cardiothoracic surgeon standing in front of her would likely find concerning. โย ย sorry for turning up unannounced, and this late nonetheless. i'm sure you were asleep already. i just knew if i didn't come see you right now i never would've.ย ย โ
her lips part to suck in a deep breath, lungs expanding to a painful point beneath her ribcage, and then a deluge of all the words she has choked on, been terrified to speak, since fate brought him back into her life after nearly twenty years. โย ย i've loved you since i was thirteen, and when you left me behind, my heart shattered in ways i could never heal. this whole time, i've tried my damnedest to convince myself that i hate you for it and that i'm angry, i really have, but i don't and i'm not. how can i blame you for protecting yourself when i did the same thing? and if you still mean what you said about giving us a second chance, i'd like to take it. the truth is, i can't breathe without you.ย ย โ
no more regrets. carol lunges across the threshold, taking connor's face into the cradle of her hands, her mouth crashing feverishly against his. there's the beard that wasn't there the last time they kissed all of those years agoโlong yet well-kempt, rough against the softest parts of herโbut other than that, he tastes exactly as she remembered, of the pretentious vanilla lattes he would order even as a teenager. he tastes like the only home she has ever known.
connor had been through so much grief that he tastes ashes when he walks around, but breathing in the air of the same city as carol danvers? he could breathe a little easier. somehow, knowing she was within his - not reach, he was still losing her. but that she was within his atmosphere again, that he could see her bright like the milky way guiding him home? that was life saving. he would never sign a dnr if carol danvers was the last thing keeping him alive.
he's not asleep when it knocks on the door. he probably shouldn't open this late; he isn't actively expecting anyone, but his heart is full of hope and anticipation. for her, always for her. so when he opens, and he spots the panic in her eyes, not fear, just.. the look of someone who hadn't expected this homecoming either. connor greets her with a smile, and yeah. she's probably right about the cardiothoracic surgeon wanting to check her pulse, but not with worry - just so much homesick that he was choking on it in the midst of the hallway to an apartment that doesn't feel like home, and probably never would.
" i wasn't. " he's quick to clarify, only to be stunted a bit by her words, but he listens and lets her reopen her heart for him. and if anyone knows hearts? it's connor rhodes, but there's one heart he's always going to recognize just by the sound of it. the same heart that was standing in front of him right now. " i wouldn't blame you. i never blamed you for not answering my letters, carol. i got out before you did, and my biggest regret in this life is that i didn't just wait one more stupid year and take you with me. "
but before he can talk himself into his home again, or further away, she's kissing him and connor can see the whole damn universe. every star and planet she's obsessed with appears in front of his eyes. his hands are quick to find her hips, then her waist. moving up and down to get familiar with this body too, the older version of his first love, his true love. and he loves everything he feels, but even more so, he loves that kissing carol feels just the same as it did the last time they did. except her lips aren't salty from the pain he was causing her by leaving, this kiss doesn't taste of agony - it's a new hope.
โฝ INT. THE DANVERS-SEVERIDE HOME, EARLY MORNING BEFORE THE START OF KELLY'S SHIFT. KELLY SEVERIDE: "COME HERE," SAID SOFTLYโNOT URGENTLY. JUST WANTING TO BE CLOSE AGAIN. @lovetold
โย ย sure you wanna risk being lateโagain? i fear boden's finally gonna run out of patience and demote you one of these days.ย ย โ the teasing aside, carol combs through the tousles of her hair with a set of fingers, pulling back the pieces that irritate her eyes, and shifts into the inviting crook of kelly's arm. she presses a balmy, open-mouthed kiss against his pec, gently scraping her teeth across the sun-freckled skin, before pillowing her head in the same spot.
glancing over at the alarm clock on the night stand, carol is relieved to note that they still have over an hour before her husband has to be out the door. their mornings are rarely this quietโor uninterrupted, for that matter. if not already awake, they could expect a barrage of kids to storm the bedroom somewhere in between six and seven am when kelly is at home rather than on shift at the fire station. today, there are no tiny feet stomping towards their sanctuary, seeing as helen's having a sleepover at mack's, and matt and gabby, as a personal favour, offered to babysit the younger two for the night.
getting herself comfortable, carol drapes her arm over her husband's abdomen and curls her fingers around his hip. โย ย now, don't get me wrong, i'm not complaining about getting to have you all to myself for a while longer, but i also know we tend to get distracted and lose track of the time if we stay in bed.ย ย โ as if to prove the point, she dances her fingertips down the line of his apollo's belt with a ticklishly light touch, albeit opting not to venture into riskier territory before going back up.
his love was of tease and temptation - especially on a morning like this, one where they have no children at home to come and claim their (rightful) spot in-between the two parents in the middle of the bed. so he flashes a cheeky grin at his wife, because of course he was willing to risk it. he'd risk it all for her. " we have a whole hour. odds of being late are.. " but then he laughs, because kelly is a very intelligent man, but also one with enough self realization to know that he was going to want to bury under the sheets with his greatest love for as long as possible. there's a small humming, coming from his lips as he pulls her closer to himself.
" well, odds of being late are in my favor. but i'm a man willing to take many risks, and i fear that this one just falls within that exact category. " and then he laughs again, rolling himself on top of her. pressing kisses all over her face with a happy and proud smile. god, he was so in love with her. meeting carol and helen had not only changed his life, it saved his life. he was in the darkest place of his life until that little blonde head of hair ran up to him in the park, and claimed him. just like that.
her hand was such a tease, but now that he's on top of her? he gets to kiss her even more. be the one to tease her back with a playful roll of his hips. " maybe i'll tell boden we're trying for baby four - he can't demote me, i'm a dad. " kelly complains like that sole reason would save him from anything - and honestly? it just might.
* .โง ๏น M. DONNER , there something sacred here between them ... something built in the ruins of death and grief and anger. the easiest thing it does is keep her up late. the midnight moon high in the sky. what she doesn't sayโ what she doesn't think she has to say because haymitch has been inside her walls at this very same hourโ is that she isn't sure when the last time she properly slept was. something wild and rabid and hungry burns away in her core. it makes it hard to sleep. as if her bones are gnawing on themselves. never fed full. too much like the damned, just to realize she has always been the damned anyway. the path of healing weak against her rage. how could she heal when half of her will always be dead? it isn't a luxury, to be able to pinpoint the exact moment in time where she knew thee would always be something burning inside of her. AND IT'S WHY SHE CAN'T SLEEP. ( why haymitch will have her through every long night until the light billows through her curtains at next sunrise ) merilee lives in the dark. and it's a sick thing ... since she used to be all light.
her chest bloats with a breath. a lapse between his words and her own and the words writhe on her tongue. then, you should have stuck to your guns. you shouldn't have had ally's. CORRECTION: YOU SHOULDN'T HAVE LET ME BY YOUR ALLY. โ ย oh, hay ... it's too late for that. ย โ her voice is unnaturally soft. woven in love, in something just for him ... nobody else gets to see this side of her. there isn't anyone left alive who knows of its existence. they whisper about what she could have been like. if she wasn't reaped, would she have been kinder? would she still walk on sharpened knives? bare a tongue of ferocity? she rolls her eyes, then, taps her finger against the glass bottle she'd taken from him. โ ย i go and this comes with me either way. ย โ he won't get rid of her that easily. in his heart of hearts, she thinks he knows that too.
โ ย i don't know if eager is the word i'd used, but you sure seem eager to get rid of me. not that i'm surprised. i thought you'd bare a couple more teeth though. ย โ curfew swallowed the night before she had a chance to venture back across the unpaved road. she could break the rule ... it wouldn't be the first one she's broken, and she's sure it won't be the last. THE FIRST IS STILL A SCAR INDENTED ON HER NECK FROM THE TRAIN RIDE THAT STARTED IT ALL. โ ย i don't think i have many barters with peacekeepers left in me. ย โ she could go until the soul was sucked out of her but she thinks there's less hours until dawn than the peacekeepers would give her. stretching back into the chair, maysilee reaches her foot out to nudge his leg. an innocent gesture of sweet surrender. โ ย so this is a favour of equal opportunity for us both. ย โ
it was like their rot was the same. like the scent of decay was following them around - like everyone around them saw four ghosts hanging out, but maysilee and haymitch knew better. sure, the ghosts just out of their reach were the four ones standing next to them. his ma with her tear stained cheeks as she waved goodbye to him. his brother asking him to come back home. lenore dove with her hands around his neck. he stole her life, he stole her freedom. all for what? for loving him despite the fact that he was a hopeless fool? - he should've kept his head down. he should've been quiet. this had been his last year in the pot of rotten gold. he had gone free, but no.
it was too late now anyways. merilee was gone, and lenore dove was gone. ma and sid burned up in the fire, but whatever was left of them was buried in the night alongside maysilee's other half. maybe she thinks of her as a better half. she'd be wrong. maybe she's right. but to haymitch she only has good sides. riiiight until she takes his bottle. it was the last one in the house, so he was particularly attached to that. he had to go outside in the morning to get more. more loot for his blood money. maybe he'd see burdock and asterid and their little girl - no. he's choking on that image too. another name for someone to announce, and another life to lose for entertainment while what? while he and maysilee stand and watch. " you can't take that from me, i still feel myself breathing. " and it isn't spoken in spite. it doesn't come through gritted teeth. it's tired, he's so tired. he wants to lie down, lie down and fall into an endless sleep. he doesn't want to witness another sunrise.
the nudge of her foot is welcome, she's always welcome, he only lies about that at least seven times a day. but he usually doesn't mean it. if there's one person he doesn't get sick to his gut whenever seeing these days? it's maysilee donner, his co-victor. and maybe she's the reason he hasn't drank enough for his heart to quit on him yet. " i don't think you realize what would happen to me, if they took you too. " he whispers out in warning, before he picks up her foot. giving it a small squeeze before he starts kneading at it to keep his hands busy. when they're busy with maysilee? he doesn't feel the sticky blood so much. " what favor am i doing you? - i'm not sharing that, " pointing to the glass bottle in her hand. haymitch hadn't been drinking enough tonight, because he still cared whether or not he was alive.
do u ever accidentally like someoneโs post who ainโt a mutual because of the based on your mutuals likes posts ๐โโ๏ธ thatโs 4 a.m scrolling for u
