The charactet has not yet been confirmed or denied to be any race by MobEntertainment.
Arguments about it being a cannon fact come from issac Christopherson, a former director of poppy playtime (chapter 1-3) he has not been with Mob for over 2 years.
Until a point where a race is known for him and any other characters within poppy playtime, people designs and ideas are still incredibly valid and should not be made to feel like an attack based on different design ideas for character that have yet to be shown beyond a voice.
by the way i will block minors/presumable minors (based off of the things you post). DO. NOOOTTT like my content if you are a minor BECAUSE I WILL KNOW!!!!!
i think its funny that minors are still liking my nsfw content when they literally have "IM A MINOR WEIRDO!!!!!!" in their bio as if they arent subjugating themselves into 18+ blogs
by the way i will block minors/presumable minors (based off of the things you post). DO. NOOOTTT like my content if you are a minor BECAUSE I WILL KNOW!!!!!
Hiii srry to bother but can you do more Eddie ritterman like writing^^
If you can tyy ( i like ur writing ) & have a good day/night!
i yearn for the mines
you requested this like MONTHS ago and i really started to drift away from tumblr and poppy playtime but like. heh. i guess i HAVE to come back now that chapter five is out... i also dont have a lot of ideas so i might be slow on writing stuff 🤔 dont be afraid to request my inbox is still wide open!!!!
Eddie Ritterman SFW Alphabet (~3k words)
A = Affection (How affectionate are they? How do they show affection?)
When Eddie is at home with you (provided he has time), he pampers you. You're not allowed on your feet unless absolutely necessary. He's cooking for you, bringing you the fabric bin of VHS movies for you to pick one, putting it in the TV for you while dinner is in the oven.
Yes, he will feed it to you. Yes, he will rinse your plate for you. Yes, he will then carry you to the bedroom once the movie is done and bathe with you, focusing much more on your cleanliness than his own. He'll help you dry off, do your hair if you want it to dry a certain way overnight. Tuck you in, climb in right beside you, flick the lamp off after kissing your face endlessly.
B = Best friend (What would they be like as a best friend? How would the friendship start?)
We can assume you probably met at work. Maybe at a work party, maybe you're friends with somebody else that works at Playtime, and you met him there. He tends to be a dry platonic companion, rarely calls or stops by. He's busy, yes, but even when he isn't, you wouldn't be on his mind very often.
But when meetings become more frequent, or maybe you run into each other more often, he likes to fill you in on what's been going on (of course, keeping out the nasty things) at work, he'll tell you how everybody's been doing if you ask. How he's been doing. As time grows, and your relationship grows, he enjoys inviting you (and maybe Leith) over for movie nights, a few glasses shared between just the two or three of you.
C = Cuddles (Do they like to cuddle? How would they cuddle?)
He absolutely adores loveseat cuddles. It's just big enough for you two to be pressed against eachother, his arm over your shoulders, his head resting against yours. Maybe your legs tossed over his lap, or over the arm of the seat so that your back can be pressed against his chest. He loves this especially on days off, where he can cook for you and just sit down, feed you and himself and just enjoy your radiating warmth.
In bed, he likes to lay behind you. He prefers spooning, but that's also because it's one of the easier positions he can slip into when he comes home from work. When you're already on your side, one leg at a 90 degree angle, he can easily mimic that position and slot a thigh between both of yours, and quickly fall asleep behind you, arms tight around your midriff.
D = Domestic (Do they want to settle down? How are they at cooking and cleaning?)
Eddie wants nothing more than to settle down with another. Reheating whatever you'd made for dinner is the highlight of his night, when he can pretend you've just pulled it out of the oven and set it on his plate, even though you're already safely tucked into bed.
Coming home is everything to Eddie. Even though you're rarely awake during the late hours he tends to arrive home during, he knows he can wake up to your gentle face kissed by the orange hue spilling through the blinds. He knows that when the weekend comes, when he has Saturday off (usually), he can put his cooking skills to use and treat you to the same thing he gets every night.
A warm meal, even though it won't ever be top tier. A clean kitchen, a restocked fridge now that he's had a day to go out shopping. He's busy during the week, yes, but he doesn't ever view the things he does for you as.. Work, or an inconvenience. He adores doing these things for you.
E = Ending (If they had to break up with their partner, how would they do it?)
Openly, and bluntly. If he's breaking up with you, there's definitely a reason. And Eddie tends to be a laid back and comfortable partner, trustworthy on most things, so if he's leaving you, it's probably your fault.
He'll keep it simple, maybe ask you follow up questions. He might hint on it for a few days, see if you catch on and leave yourself. He'd prefer to do it that way, even though he's already an incredibly confrontational man. You still had a relationship before that, hopefully a good one that he will miss. He'd rather not be the guy who says goodbye.
F = Fiance(e) (How do they feel about commitment? How quick would they want to get married?)
Eddie would rather lose his life in a work accident (foreshadowing) than have to sign another God damned divorce paper. He enjoys the idea of commitment, but he has to make sure you both mean it, that nothing will go wrong.
He tries to learn every little thing about you before he truly settles down into that far of domesticity.
G = Gentle (How gentle are they, both physically and emotionally?)
He'd never really think past being gentle in the first place. He's a quiet and reserved man who's never had to raise his voice, and he doesn't like to.
He's proper, I would say. Which makes him naturally gentle. He'd never put his hands on a woman, never shout, never manhandle or belittle. He's a man of grounding shoulder squeezes, pulls on the waist to bring you closer for a group photo. And his mind is all the same.
H = Hugs (Do they like hugs? How often do they do it? What are their hugs like?)
Eddie, if he's your friend, he gives quick hugs around the shoulders. Maybe one arm, squeezing you into his side and tugging you close before keeping that arm around your shoulders, maybe walking and talking with you. If he has to leave, it's a small little thing, and he pats your shoulder before mumbling a quick hello and goodbye.
As your partner, he loves hugs around your chest, rubbing your biceps if his arms can reach far enough. If not, your shoulders get the same attention. He likes to hug you in the halls, in the instance you work with him. Seeing you while he's working puts a big smile on his face, he can't help but want a bit of intimacy before he has to keep working.
I = I love you (How fast do they say the L-word?)
Realistically, Eddie wouldn't even consider getting with you unless he knew he loved you. He'll say it right away, the first night you're in bed, the first time he leaves you for the night after you first get together.
If you don't say it back, he won't stop. But if you tell him it's too early, that you aren't ready, he'll nod and back away from saying it any more. But the second you're ready, or you say it first, he'll grin and peck your lips, saying it right back.
J = Jealousy (How jealous do they get? What do they do when they’re jealous?)
He isn't really around to be jealous. He'll think about you when he's gone, and of course, he'll occasionally get the nagging thought in his mind, what if you're bringing other people around while he's gone? He's gone nearly 90% of the day, you have all that time to cheat or mess around.
He won't truly get jealous unless he knows you're the one fucking around. When other men or women climb onto you, if you're loyal, he knows that you won't let anything happen. But when you're going out, doing that on purpose? Looking for other people? All that gentle domesticity is thrown out the window.
K = Kisses (What are their kisses like? Where do they like to kiss you? Where do they like to be kissed?)
His kisses are quick, but sensual. He loves kissing you. He does it every morning before he leaves, whether you're asleep or not.
He likes to kiss your head, your temple, your hair. The back of your hands if they're cold, or your palms to kiss the sweat away. As for him, he doesn't care where you kiss him. His lips, he supposes he likes the most. He doesn't get to feel your lips on his enough, so the long lip-kisses are whole-heartedly appreciated.
L = Little ones (How are they around children?)
Eddie may work at a toy factory, and he may work to entertain children in the long run, but he would prefer.. not to have any.
He's good with kids. He has nephews and nieces he sees, he's had younger siblings. But he would never want to add a child onto the pile of work he already has. That not only would leave him much more stressed and busy than he already is, but with him being gone all the time, that would also make you.. 1: A stay at home parent. 2: Just as stressed as Eddie is, and 3: probably cranky and pissed when he comes home. He just can't risk that.
M = Morning (How are mornings spent with them?)
Eddie is usually up incredibly early. Five AM kind of early. He gives himself about thirty minutes to get ready. He's out of bed quickly, making sure he doesn't leave your forehead or temple unkissed. Then he's in the shower, out of the shower five minutes later. He does his hair, dresses himself, sees if you're awake. Kisses you crazy, regardless if you're awake or not, before he's out the door.
On mornings he doesn't work, he likes to sleep in, of course. On those days, you're usually up before him. Wake him with breakfast, he'll probably insist that "You should have made this for yourself," eat it in a robe, hardly awake. He'll brew himself a coffee, then he'll make you breakfast, too, if you haven't already fed yourself. Then, the rest of the day is just you and him.
N = Night (How are nights spent with them?)
When Eddie comes home from work, he wants nothing but to crash into bed right behind you. Often times, he doesn't bother changing - simply peeling off his blazer, undoing his tie, letting them fall to the floor as he slides under the sheets, quickly falling asleep in order to wake up and repeat the routine the next day.
On days off, he likes movies. Date nights. Whether that's going out to a drive-in movie, a proper theatre, or a fancy expensive restaraunt, or him cooking for you in the kitchen - it's whatever you choose. Even if you want to sit and veg in bed all evening? Sure. He'll get up to grab you snacks, always bringing dishes or trash back to the kitchen to be taken care of. He'll bring you a VHS if you want to watch a movie, read you a book (especially if it's one you've already started, and he gets to read you the climax of the book), massage your back. "It's all up to you, honey."
O = Open (When would they start revealing things about themselves? Do they say everything all at once or wait a while to reveal things slowly?)
He'll reveal it over time. During small talk, he'll mention things, bring things up that you haven't heard from him before. He doesn't think to reveal everything all at once, especially when he takes getting to know people quite seriously.
P = Patience (How easily angered are they?)
He doesn't like to get angry. He says it a lot. He'd never even think about raising his voice at you, shouting at you. Getting mad at you. ..Of course, that's as long as you don't give him a reason to. If you did something deliberately wrong, or something you knew would make him mad, then he'll yell at you.
But accidents, other things, never. You broke something of his? Don't worry, he probably got it at a thrift store a few years ago. His personal belongings mean nothing to him when you're around.
Q = Quizzes (How much would they remember about you? Do they remember every little detail you mention in passing, or do they kind of forget everything?)
Eddie remembers quite a lot. Your favorite foods, condiments you don't like. How you like your coffee, or your tea, or how cooked you like your steak. How firm your steamed carrots need to be. How you like your eggs.
If he's there, and he has the chance to listen, he stores it in his brain. He tries his best to remember everything, and he does a damn good job considering that his mind is usually occupied with a dozen other things.
R = Remember (What is their favorite moment in your relationship?)
Work parties. He loves introducing you to people, he especially enjoyed showing you off to Dr. Sawyer. Everybody knows that fucker can't catch any ladies, or even any men at that.
But besides that, he truly does love letting people get to know you. You're his most prized partner, the only thing that truly matters. He lets Leith know constantly, that if he stops showing up one day, it's because you've told him you.. Oh, he doesn't know, want to run away with him. Elope. Go move to Switzerland, in a cabin, travel the world. Whatever you want to do. Leith despises him for it, of course, Eddie is one of his best workers, the only man keeping everything swept under the carpet! What would the man do without Eddie?
S = Security (How protective are they? How would they protect you? How would they like to be protected?)
A lot of his protective-ness is wasted on keeping Playtime's situation under control, ensuring that nothing gets out to the public, dealing with possible lawsuits or debts, threatening contract workers into doing what needs to be done. He does his job well, but that also means that his jealousy or protection over you is minimal.
Not only is he just, not there to be your wingman, but he also knows that everybody in the state knows who he is, and therefore, they know you you are. You're courted to Eddie M. N. Ritterman, just one of the many CEOs of Playtime Co.. Nobody's stupid enough to talk down on you, or do something they shouldn't.
T = Try (How much effort would they put into dates, anniversaries, gifts, everyday tasks?)
He's very, very busy. Very busy. When he comes home it's usually a routine of eating whatever you made, then showering and heading to bed. Maybe a movie. It depends on his schedule.
On his rare days off, he spends them pampering you. Those are always your date nights. Every second he's at home it's about you. Cooking for you, taking you out, or just spending time at home, alone together. He gets gifts whenever he's out, usually bringing home something because "it made him think of you". Dates are whatever you want to do. Anniversaries, he always takes a week off. No matter if he simply just doesn't show up those days instead of calling in, he refuses to work. He wouldn't miss your day for the world.
U = Ugly (What would be some bad habits of theirs?)
Bites his nails, smokes, drinks. He also has a habit of wearing the same clothes for a few days, especially if he's incredibly busy. Sometimes he knows, he can only get so much sleep, and changing out of it at night, and back into something new in the morning, that takes away from his hours of slumber. So often, he comes home, crashes, then he's up six hours later and right out the door.
He prefers cigars over any other kind of tobacco. And he loves a short, neat glass of brandy or whiskey on his desk while he's filing papers. You've bought him a mini-fridge for his office, which he appreciates greatly.
V = Vanity (How concerned are they with their looks?)
He keeps his appearance simple. Being a blonde (and greying slightly), he doesn't have much trouble with thick stubble that he has to shave, so he can shave on the weekends when he has more time. His hair is typically slicked back and out of his way, and that's as much as he does in the mornings. Shower, do his hair, apply deoderant, brush his teeth, get dressed, and he's out the door after pressing a warm kiss to your still-resting head.
W = Whole (Would they feel incomplete without you?)
Literally, no. He's away from you nearly 85% of the time, he can handle being away from his partner for long periods of time - he already does it.
But, if you were to leave him? Die? Cheat? Find somebody better?? Ghost him?? He'd be devastated. The only good part of every day is coming home to you, even if all he has time for is to slide right into bed and press his chest against your back. Knowing that it's entirely possible that one day, you just may not be there, it's surprisingly something he thinks about a lot. He knows the chances are incredibly low, but they'll never be zero.
X = Xtra (A random headcanon for them.)
Not-so-secretly hates working at Playtime. But, he makes incredible money being a CEO and Head over the Research Wing, so he wouldn't dare quit for the life of him.
He also doesn't leave because he secretly favors arguing with Dr. Sawyer, and, like many others that work at Playtime, he has sick satisfaction in what the Labs are doing and creating. He loves seeing Pierre lose his marbles over little things, adores the twisted smile in his face every time the Innovator gets to sit in an observation room and watch Boxy Boo eat. It's the little things.
Y = Yuck (What are some things they wouldn’t like, either in general or in a partner?)
He can not handle when his partners are pushy, or overthink every little thing. He's already had his fair share of petty wives and partners - he can't handle another person who will berate him every time he steps in the house. Questions like "Where have you been all day", "So who were you with?", they serve no purpose other than irritating him.
Where has he been all day? Work. Who has he been with? Probably nobody, stuck in an office nearly every hour of the day. If they can't handle him being merely a busy, hardworking man, he'll have to kick them, or you out.
Z = Zzz (What is a sleep habits of theirs?)
Sleeps like a rock. Those minimal hours of rest are incredibly important to him, if he can't get to sleep right away, he'll be drooling all over his paperwork the second he gets to sit down at his work desk.
When he gets into bed, he usually does his best to spoon you or pull you onto his chest without waking you, but more than often he quickly slumps into his side of the bed, and quickly falls asleep for another day of work in the morning.
Honestly I don't understand all this hate Elliot suddenly got after the chapter. I'm no way justifying the horrors he did, but it almost seems like some people used to think the man behind the factory with strange experiments since the 60s (ygp, the rat experiment) would be completely innocent 😭 The man behind all the poppy flowers stuff, the man under whose command experiments 1006 and 1007 were created. Of course he was up to something sinister :"D
And even like that, I like him a lot because of how complex he is. He clearly started out as a passionate businessman who just wants to make kids smile (I don't think he'd create such a successful toy business otherwise), but his daughter's death screwed him up so bad he went as far as torturing said kids with inhumane experiments.
I love to see this level of desperation in fiction
to the person who asked for more ritterman... i promise im writing it i was literally writing it earlier but then i closed tumblr so fuck my life i guess
i am under religious psychosis from leith pierre i cannot stop thinking about leith pierre ohh my god . i cannot stop watching emkay and ONLY robin's voice overs just so i can listen to leith pierre talking i love listening to him talking somebody chain me up bro
Some suggestions: I head canon him to be devastatingly ticklish. What about you?
Pranks or annoying him in the factory (I headcanon him to be very jumpy because he’s paranoid) and at home
And I imagine that even though he puts children and staff through unimaginable pain….:he can barley handle physical pain himself. A paper cut? *explodes*
i don't typically made head canons that often i should do this more..
i think for harley though ummm
100% a germophobe... maybe not the worst germophobia can get but he probably has the smallest flat he could find while buying a house so that there's less room which means less to clean and more time to spend doing work
i also headcanon him to be like, really skinny, kind of scrawny like if you laid on his chest it'd feel like laying on graveled pavement because his ribs kinda peek out. i was also pondering that "what if hes just a meth head" because honestly i feel like it kind of fits his personality and the whole malnourishment thing. due to his picky habits he also hardly intakes protein and the nourishment his body actually needs
he is also mysogynistic and probably racist but the people of tumblr would cancel me for saying that
Leith was a relatively honest man when it came to his work. And this, in no doubt, included his co workers, and the way he treated them.
The way he greets a person makes it obvious how he feels about them - simple passerbys or lower levels got little nods, his scientists the same - in other words, he considered anybody who wasnt paid over $40 an hour extremely insignificant. It wasn't like he worked with them anyways.
Eddie always got longer pecks on the cheek than anybody else did. Stella was an everlonging tease about it, going to the point of a hard elbow nudge to Leith's side whenever Eddie entered rooms - to which Leith often shoves the woman away in retort.
Of course, Leith was an overworker whenever the weeks got busier, resulting in empty coffee mugs strewn about his office, his usually nicely done auburn hair much more frizzly, Leith's sweaty hands running through it making it look thinner every time.
Leith starts a busy day, during a busy week, a paper coffee mug in his left hand, while his forearm holds a folder close to his chest. He has too many ideas from marketing teams to look over, and his favorite worker being late on deadlines for what seemed the billionth time. He already has a to do list in his head, one he'll ultimately forget by the end of the day.
Eddie is whom he greets first - dropping off a few folders from Sawyer, most of the papers inside were messily folded and looked like they were threwn into the layers of manilla. Leith huffs as Eddie's eyes drift to the folders, bringing his coffee to his lips as his right hand hides behind his back.
"I can adress Sawyer, if you'd-" Leith cuts him off with a dry chuckle.
"No, no," he inhales sharply, composing himself. "It's fine, Eddie," Leith smiles, Eddie rising from his chair to take the coffee from Leith's hand. He curls his hand and brings the coffee to his own lips, humming. "Bring me one of these, when you have time.." Eddie's thickened fingerprints tap the thick paper of the cup after it's returned to Leith's hand. Leith smiles, - one Eddie can tell he's forcing onto his face by the way his lips curl just a little too tightly - his free hand moving to press against his back, pulling him closer and into a long peck to his temple.
"Sure." Leith speaks through gritted teeth, looking down at his co-worker, whom's cheeks brighten under the feel of Leith's lips.
Leith soon departs from his office, dragging more folders down maintenance elevators, trudging his way through areas under construction to merely make his way to Sawyer's office. Some little un-occupied part of his mind comes to realize why he never sees Sawyer head home - because - who the hell would want to walk through all this just to get to work? He chortles to himself as he thinks that, just starting to walk through the lab.
His eyes land rather quickly on a familiar figure - his mind far too busy spiraling thoughts together to realize what he's really doing - and he wraps his free arm tightly around Sawyer's shoulder, saying his name in a giddy manner as he tugs him close to peck his cheek.
Sawyer tensed the moment he even felt any contact to his form - but with it being Leith, he couldn't even get any questioning out of his mouth before a gloved fist tightens, swinging directly to Leith's face. He stumbles back a little in surprise, but Leith can't even register what happened before the pissy tone of Harley's voice spits out, mumbling curses and insults to the man, while his dress shoes tap on the tiled floor as he stomps away, waving a hand to another scientist to quickly get out of his way.
Leith stares at his coffee cup - now spilt, the strong aroma quickly filling the hall. He wipes just below his nose, his lip slightly torn. He wonders what the hell Sawyer was doing before being a neurosurgeon, for him to split his lip so easily. He hisses to the same scientist Harley waved away, shoving the plethora of folders into their arms without a word, briskly making his way back upstairs to sulk in his office.
That afternoon, Leith spends his time hissing through his teeth as Eddie laughs at him. Seriously. One part of him wants to thank the man for cleaning his wound and bandaging his lip (rather well, too. Or maybe Leith was just under some sort of spell with the other leaning over him, being so close just to wipe the blood off his face), but did he have to laugh at him? There wasn't a single awkward situation Leith could go through without the older male getting a giggle out of it.
Eddie's done cleaning his wound, but Leith still hides in the man's office. Eddie can't stop talking about it - "So he just.. Punched you?" "Nothing else?" "You kissed him?" Eddie bursts out laughing every time Leith answers anything - so he sulks instead, staring at the other with an unimpressed look as he settles into the loveseat near his desk. Leith reminds himself that, unfortunately, this is the man he loves.
I didnt know how to end this off go follow harleysawyerlover they are so stinking cool
umm re reading this and realizing this is kinda too long to be a drabble
It wouldn't pass Eddie's mind unless you bring it up to him. He likes to clean you up quickly, though, because as much as he hates it he's a very busy man and doesn't get to spend too much time with you. He's always believed every second counted.
Once he learns what you enjoy, what you need from him, he's already figuring out ways to do it faster. You try not to be bothered by it - because atleast he's taking care of you. He can't control his work hours. He makes sure you're clean and warm, he's grown used to tossing a towel into the dryer before you to begin so he always has something warm to wrap you in after your almost-burning bath.
B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)
He's never really taken the time to decide if he had a favorite. If you ask him, or bring it up in a conversation, he'd shrug it off and mumble something about your smooth shoulders, the way your hair falls over them, or the way your hair is short enough for him to get a nice view at your stockiness or slim frame.
Your neck, too. He's always dipped his head to peck your neck, or your jawline if he passes by you in work. And even in bed, his nose and lips are flush against the crook of your neck, mumbling in his sleep and tickling your skin when his lips brush against them.
On himself... He'd pick his own shoulders too. Unsurprisingly, sex isn't always on this man's mind, it's.. Rare. He loves his shoulders because you've always been the best at teasing away any kinks or pains with your hands, or even digging your nails into his skin. It drives him crazy. Only because - there's no way he's making you feel this good.
C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)
He isn't opposed to cumming inside, doesn't mind if he gets you pregnant, either. As long as you understand he won't be around any more or less if you do have kids. He isn't opposed to condoms either.
Really, he doesn't care much about where he cums. He supposes he likes whatever you like, and he'll continue to do whatever you like, whatever you ask for right before he's about to cum.
D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)
Oh gosh. He'd never tell you this, literally ever, nor Leith - but in his sparse altercations with Leith at work (while you two weren't together of course, he'd never do that to you), he's found his mind on rather intimate topics faltering between the both of you until it turns into something he wishes it didn't. It unfortunately gets him hard every time.
He'd.. Never tell either of you about it. He'll keep it to himself until the end of time, not even if you both ask about it, he'd still say no.
E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)
Eddie's been with a few, had his fair share of ex wives and fiances. Girlfriends... Work experiences with some... Surprising people. Point being, he knows what he's doing. Probably more than you'd think.
Although sex isn't ever really something he's had time for, when you two do share a fortunate night, his fingers are digging into you in a way you've never really felt before to the point where you'll still be hearing yourself scream his name in the upcoming days. Your very scarce sex truly makes up for the lack of his presence.
F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)
Anything that really lets you wrap your arms around him. Missionary, over his desk if it comes to it, you on his lap, mating press, whatever you want as long as you can dig your nails into him.
He loves it. Staring down at you as your eyes roll into your head, his own lips struggling to keep his drool in his mouth all while your nails are ripping skin on his shoulders and leaving indentations and marks that nobody will ever see. All of this, just for him... He feels like he's dreaming sometimes.
G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)
He's never really done it himself. As per a lot of these things, it never really crossed his mind to be anything other than intimate. You're making love anyway, aren't you?
If you whisper something, or start giggling if he slips out on accident, his eyes typically slide up to meet yours, and he chuckles back before continuing. He doesn't mind little moments like that, but he never instigates them.
H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)
He never has the time for it, but he doesn't seem to be all that hairy anyways. Especially with his age and his hair starting to lighten, it's hard to tell it's there anyway.
He doesn't like to keep long hair or stubble, it gets in the way of his cigarettes and work in general. Thinks any facial hair or hair in his face is a huge bother. He has basic other body hair, armpit hair and leg hair that hasn't lightened down yet. He isn't greying, but his dirty blonde look is defenitely getting more of a.. Pale hay colour, you could say.
I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)
He tries his best. He's never been the best at intimacy or being a lovey person - he's caught up in work a lot and he hates using it as an excuse.
He doesn't remember most times. But he always keeps his hands around you. Doesn't care what he's doing - whether he's fucking you, bathing you, or just sleeping with you, snoring in your ear and drooling all over his neck - you're always in his arms.
Intimacy at work is never something you miss out on either. In a way, he's like Leith. If you're in less of an empty room, he'll settle for one of those cheesy british kisses, pecking both your cheeks while hugging you tight before going back to his day. If it's empty, or not too many people are around, long simple kisses are what he fills the time with before going back to work, leaving you with your duties to continue his own.
J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)
..No. It's never crossed his mind, nor has he ever really gotten hard at work, at home... And when he does, he never takes care of it - he'll occupy his mind elsewhere and let it go away on his own. Unless you intervene.
K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)
Scratching. Absolutely loves the feeling of your nails deep in his shoulders, right when he comes deep inside you, too??
Loves when you tighten around him too. Your legs around his waist, his face, suffocating him in the most obsessive way ever, like you're going to crush him. It drives him crazy, knowing that he's making you tighten up like that, clinging to him like you'll be on death's door if you don't.
Lingerie, when you... take control? No, he'd never like that. Or maybe, he'd never admit he likes that.
L = Location (favorite places to do the do)
Your bedroom, really. He won't say no if you come to his office door in a frenzy - he'd never say no to you, really. He just prefers not to have sex at work, likes to keep it unbothered.
Your bedroom is always his favorite. Easy cleanup if you use a towel beneath you. He prefers not to spend his time at home doing laundry, though. Oh, your couch, too. He even went the extra mile to buy a futon to replace his other couch. He doesn't like the "modern" look of it in his home, but he'd much rather settle for your comfort than making his home look how he wants it.
M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)
Loves seeing you in lingere. Loves when you're straight to the point about it, too. Peeking into his office at work and just straight up telling him what you want, that you're horny and could use some help. God, he's patting his lap so quickly.
Loves when you're tired, first in the morning. Either seeing you shirtless or in a really shitty sports bra, your tits peeking out of them in a careless and slumber dazed way, too asleep to realize they're even falling out. Or when your pecs are sweaty from the hot, shared bed you have. Sauntering into the kitchen for morning coffee, tea or maybe a slice of toast. It really gets his gears going to see you all dazed, your voice low and lots of hums coming from your throat when you speak. I mean, do you want him dead or something? Because he just can't stand it when you do that. That's the one time he'd let counter sex go by.
N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)
Doesn't like sharing you. He's never told you why. He may be into the whole threesome thing with Leith - but he'd never actually do it. You're his to make feel good, his to protect and love. What if Leith, or anybody else in that matter, does it better? And you fall out of love?
Doesn't like hurting you. Spanking, biting, grabbing you too hard, breaking skin or just going too hard in general is something he would never put onto the table, something he always has in the back of his mind while you're fucking. He'd never live it down.
And as previously stated, doesn't like kitchen sex either. The post nut clarity feeling of cringe when he's cooking and remembering you to had sex on that counter is just... He gets goosebumps, really.
O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)
It wasn't ever really something he did when he was younger, in past relationships. One of the many things that never crossed his mind.
He doesn't care whether you suck his tip dry, or even rim him. He thinks it feels good reguardless. And, he doesn't care if he goes down on you. Doesn't matter what hole, how deep he can fit you in his mouth, how much you squirt on his face. He may not be the best at it, and he might have trouble fitting you or finding where your g-spot or prostate is with his tongue. Wondering if its even far up enough. He just wants to make you cum. That's it.
P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)
He likes settling for something between just perfect, and quick. Instead of sliding out almost all the way and slipping back in, like most men would do, he'll slide out just a little and jut his hips back in, going faster and hitting your much needed spots way faster than anybody else could.
He's older. He'll never be able to go as fast as he would if he was younger, but he still does his best for you. If you want something slower, harder, more sensual and gentle, he's all for it, grovelling and just nodding like a dog before doing whatever you want from him.
Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)
Sure. Why not? He doesn't care how fast you cum, how short the sex is. Loves taking care of you. If you're pent up and need a quick orgasm from him at work, he's all for it, letting you slam yourself down onto his cock while he somehow acts like nothing's happening, doing paperwork.
You want him to be engaged? Why didn't you say anything? Did he upset you? Was him not being responsive last time giving off the idea it didn't feel good? So many thoughts would run through his head, spilling out so many apologies and dragging you to the bedroom to make it up to you. To show you that you truly do make him feel good during those quicker times - reguardless of if you were hurt by it or not. He just needs to make sure.
R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)
One of those things he doesn't think about.
Bottom line risks he won't do are things like being seen or heard, public sex or general exhibitionism, hurting you or trying out any sort of kinks like knife/blood/gun play, BDSM or bodily fluid things. He tells you he'll try everything once but that one for him isnt on the table.
If you want to try a new toy, new position or kink that doesn't sound insanely weird or harmful, he totally will.
S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)
He tries to stay between one and three. If he has more time during the night, or the lucky day of a day off the next day, he goes longer and spends more time fucking you, cumming in you until you're limp, spending all night making sure you'll be alright in the morning.
It depends on his work schedule, really. When he has time to come home and fuck instead of just falling asleep, it's one. If he has a longer night at home than usual, it's two. And days off are for three rounds, the next day is all revolved around you. Usually your date night.
T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)
Has never liked toys. Before you were together, he never really knew they were a thing. He grew up in a time where it was rare to have them.
He wouldn't like if you had them. Or if you brought them up in conversations, asking to use them on him, or him to use them on you. Why do you have them in the first place? If you had them before you were together, why haven't you gotten rid of them? Is his pleasure not enough for you to the point you have to resort to toys? Doesn't like them.
U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)
He tries not to. If you like it when he teases, when he takes his time, he'll do so when he has a longer night with you. But he doesn't really enjoy it. He loves taking his time with you, sure, but it's just a few kisses down your midrift, a few hickeys on your thighs, some prep with his tongue. He doesn't like to tease. He's just doing what he has to, leading up to sex.
V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)
Oh gosh.
Never makes any sound in the office. If you're riding him, it's rare he makes any faces minus a few eyebrows twitches, gritting his teeth when he cums. Maybe his single hand around your waist tightening, the other one flipping through papers and scribbling notes down.
At home, he's probably louder than you. So whiny, shuddering and hitching his breath in your ear, and he's only just bottomed out. His fingernails dug into your shoulders, his whole body trembling as he gets used to the feeling of you around him all over again. His nose and lips are pressed flush against the nape of your neck, hiding his flushed, sweaty face from your view until he's finally calm enough to actually fuck you.
W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)
Eddie is deathly insecure of himself.
He's never hurt anybody in a relationship, has never exactly made anybody uncomfortable (unless you include shitty past significant others who'd give him shit for having a high ranking, busy job on that list), but for some reason, he's scared of doing so.
The first few times you had sex, he'd be up for a few hours after you fall asleep just wondering if he did it good enough, if he satisfied you. He always whispers to you while you fuck, just constantly making sure you're comfortable and enjoying it just as much as he is. He isn't just worried about sex - what if he just.. Straight up isn't a good boyfriend? What if you don't like him because he's at work 70% of the time?
He knows he's just fibbing to himself, making too many "what if"s in his head. He knows you love him. You know he loves you... And Eddie likes that.
X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)
Solid seven inches, roughly four and a half in girth. He knows he may be a little big for some people, so making sure you're always comfortable, that you have towels and your best pair of pajamas in the dryer getting plenty warm for you, and overall making sure he doesn't go too hard is his top priority.
He isn't too muscular, more on the somewhat skinny and muscular size. He sits at a desk and reads through files for 70% of his day, so his body portrays that quite easily.
Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)
It's.. Really not all that high. He's always busy with work, and days when he can actually come home and dedicate intimacy or sex to you are.. Pretty rare.
With that, you both have sex atleast once every month. His days off are usually dedicated to date nights or just spending his night with you, taking time showing his love to you. He's never been a sexual man, sex is hardly ever on his mind. It's not that he doesn't like sex, he just... Doesn't think about it.
Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)
On nights where he has to get up bright and early, he usually tries to fall asleep right after (of course, him holding you so tight that you have to actually fight just to get up to use the bathroom isn't unincluded).
On days where he can actually spend the next day continuing to pamper you, he'll spend a few hours cleaning your body and scrubbing you down, drying you off with a fresh, warm towel, helping you do your hair (if you like it done at all, that is) and then slipping you into a pair of his boxers (he loves seeing you in them, really) before pulling you into a fuzzy pair of warm pajamas that came out with your towel - pulling you into bed and putting your favorite VHS into the television until you both fall asleep tossed around in eachothers arms before the movie even ends. Eddie will never be able to explain how amazing the feeling of doing that is. How much he loves you.
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