Until The Curtain Closes — Elsa Mars
Summary: When the love of her life disappears without a trace, Elsa spends years searching for answers. As time passes and her dreams of stardom finally come true, she begins to wonder if any of it was worth it without you.
Word Count: 2,000
Tags: Angst, reader death (not graphic), some moments of fluff
The first time you saw Pepper, her wide eyes were fixed on a butterfly that had landed on the sleeve of her dress. Elsa had been talking to someone else at the time, negotiating and persuading with that effortless confidence. Yet halfway through her sentence, she trailed off. She followed your gaze and found herself looking at the strange girl standing alone near the flowers.
Pepper smiled. It was such an open, uncomplicated expression that something in your chest softened instantly. Elsa glanced at you. You glanced at Elsa. Neither of you needed words.
That evening, Pepper sat between the two of you on the ride back to the grounds. From that day forward, she became yours.
The freak show was little more than a dream in those days. The tents were worn. Money was scarce. Yet despite the uncertainty, you were happy. The three of you were creating something that felt like a family.
Pepper helped you hang costumes out to dry. She followed you around the grounds while you worked. Elsa sang her songs she could never quite remember, but always enjoyed. On quiet evenings, all three of you squeezed together around a tiny table inside the main tent, sharing whatever meal you could afford that week.
For Elsa, it meant more than she ever admitted. The world would come to know Elsa Mars as ambitious and larger than life. You knew the woman beneath all of that. The woman who feared failure more than anything, and who desperately wanted to be loved though she was never entirely convinced she deserved it. You loved her anyway. Perhaps because of those flaws rather than despite them.
One night, long after everyone else had gone to sleep, Elsa rested beside you beneath a thin blanket in the trailer you shared. “You believe in me, don’t you,” she asked quietly. By then, your family of freaks had expanded. There was a real show now, and Elsa took pride in all of her monsters.
You turned toward her. The vulnerability in her voice always caught you off guard. It seemed impossible that someone as bold as Elsa could sound so uncertain. You brushed a strand of blonde hair behind her ear. “Always.”
The smile that followed was one audiences never got to see. It belonged only to you. Years later, after everything that happened, that smile would remain one of your last memories.
The day you disappeared began like any other. You kissed Elsa goodbye before your venture into town for supplies. Pepper hugged you twice because once was never enough. Then you climbed into the truck and headed toward town to collect food, medicine, fabric, and a dozen other little necessities required to keep your makeshift family running. Nothing felt unusual or significant.
If you had known what waited for you, perhaps you would have stayed a little longer that morning. Perhaps you would have kissed Elsa again. Perhaps you would have hugged Pepper tighter. Instead, you left with every expectation of returning before lunch.
You never made it back.
At first, Elsa wasn’t worried. You were late occasionally. A flat tire wasn’t unheard of. Occasionally the townspeople were hostile and you had to go to the next town over. Sometimes errands simply took longer than expected. But when afternoon became evening and evening became night, concern settled heavily in her stomach. By midnight, she could barely sit still and before dawn, she began searching.
She drove into town herself, stopping at every little store and shop. She questioned the shopkeepers, their customers, strangers on the street. Anyone who might have seen you. Nobody had. The following day she found the truck abandoned just outside town. The supplies were still inside, but you weren’t.
Something broke inside her then. The days that followed became a blur of desperate searching. Elsa combed through every road, every field, every ditch she could find. She questioned anyone willing to speak to her and plenty who weren’t. She spent money she couldn’t afford chasing rumors that led nowhere.
When the local authorities stopped caring, Elsa kept looking. People advised her to move on, but Elsa ignored them. Pepper became distraught. Elsa always soothed her and promised you’d be home soon. And that’s why she always stayed in Jupiter. In hopes that one day you’d come back. She wanted to be there waiting for when you did.
When weeks became months, she still refused to give up because giving up meant accepting the possibility that you weren’t coming home and Elsa had never been particularly good at accepting things she didn’t want to hear.
One evening, Pepper climbed into Elsa’s lap inside the trailer. Elsa hadn’t slept properly in days. Her eyes were red. Her hands trembled.
Pepper touched her cheek. Elsa wrapped her arms around Pepper and cried harder than she had since childhood. Because you were gone and she couldn’t find you. For the first time in her life, determination wasn’t enough to fix what was broken.
The years passed. The show grew. New performers arrived one after another. Elsa welcomed them all, but a part of her always remained searching for you. Maybe fate would finally return to her what it had stolen. It never did.
Over time, the search transformed into an obsession. She made herself a promise out of desperation, a bargain. If she made the show successful enough, you would return. If she became famous, you would hear about it and come back. If she reached the heights she’d always dreamed of, somehow, some way, you would find your way back to her.
So Elsa chased success with everything she had. Every standing ovation, newspaper headline and scrap of recognition drove her forward. Her hope renewed, in a sense, but none of it was ever enough to fill the empty space you’d left behind. Even during her greatest triumphs, she found herself glancing toward doorways and entrances, imagining your face appearing in the crowd.
Years later, when fame finally arrived, Elsa stood before adoring audiences and received everything she had once believed she wanted. Yet every achievement felt strangely hollow because the one person she wanted beside her wasn’t there to see it.
Then, eventually, it was too much to bear anymore. Nothing she had done had given her answers. So she prepared for one final performance. Halloween. She knew what would come after.
Elsa expected darkness, maybe nothingness. She just needed an end to it all. She probably had some more good years left, but what were they without you, without her monsters? Everyone who hadn’t been killed by that miserable psycho had dispersed elsewhere. Pepper dropped off at an asylum, the most painful of her goodbyes aside from you.
But instead of the darkness, she found herself standing beneath a familiar canvas. Warm light spilled across the tent, lanterns lighting as if by magic until the whole place was illuminated. Music drifted through the air. Laughter echoed in the distance.
Her eyes adjusted. It was home. Jupiter. The place where she had once been happiest. What cruel twist of fate was this?
A voice spoke behind her. “I’ve been waiting for you.”
Elsa froze. For a moment she couldn’t breathe. Couldn’t think. Couldn’t move. Because she knew that voice. She had spent years dreaming about it, searching for it, and worst of all, mourning it.
When she turned, there you were. You hadn’t aged. You were just how she remembered you. For several seconds neither of you moved. Elsa looked terrified. She wasn’t sure if she could trust that you were real. Mostly, she feared losing you again, real or not.
“You left me.” The words emerged broken and raw. It was the sound of heartbreak. Years and years of it.
You went to her and wrapped your arms around her immediately. “I didn’t want to,” you told her.
“I looked for you.”
“I know.”
“I searched everywhere.”
Your own eyes burned. For years you had watched helplessly. Somehow, from wherever souls waited, you had seen her searching. Seen her grieving. Seen her refusing to let go. If there had been any way to reach her, you would have.
“There wasn’t a day,” Elsa whispered, “not one day I stopped looking.”
You cupped her face gently, knowing exactly the words she needed to hear. “I never stopped loving you.”
That finally shattered the last of her defenses. She cried openly, years of grief pouring from her all at once. Eventually, when she had calmed enough to speak, she asked the question that had haunted her for all this time.
“What happened?”
You led her to a nearby bench and sat together beneath the glow of lantern light. “I had just made my last stop,” you said quietly. “There was a man who’d been watching me.” Elsa’s hand tightened around yours. “I didn’t realize.”
Understanding slowly appeared in her expression. You swallowed. “He’d been following me long before that, or so he told me.”
The memory no longer hurt the way it once had. Time had dulled the terror, leaving only sadness behind. “He took me before I could get back to the truck and come home.” Elsa closed her eyes. “I fought,” you added, a faint smile touching your lips. “You would’ve been proud.”
“I already was.”
Tears slipped down your cheeks. Time to end this tale. “I tried everything I could, but he was strong, Elsa. And the more I talked about you and Pepper the angrier he got. He…he killed me.”
The words settled softly between you. Elsa sat silently for a long moment. Then she asked the question that mattered most.
“You didn’t leave?”
“No. You know I wouldn’t. I spent my last moment wishing I had never left that morning.”
Her shoulders sagged. Years of guilt seemed to drain from her all at once. “I thought maybe you got tired of our life.”
“Never.”
“I thought maybe you found someone else.”
A laugh escaped you despite the tears in your eyes. “Elsa.” The look you gave her made her smile for the first time since arriving. “I only ever wanted you.”
For the first time in forever, true peace settled across her features. You kissed her forehead gently, just as you had countless times before. “God, how I missed you.” Then your gaze lifted toward the distance. “There’s someone else who missed you too.”
She followed your line of sight and a familiar figure came racing toward the two of you. Pepper. The instant she recognized Elsa, her face lit up with pure joy. She barely had time to stand before Pepper launched herself into her arms.
Elsa held her tightly while she hugged her with all the enthusiasm she’d ever possessed. Then she hugged you. Then both of you at once. Some things never changed.
The three of you began walking together through the grounds. Past the same old tents and longtime friends who had gone before you. Elsa kept her arm linked through yours the entire time. It was no longer because she feared losing you. After all those years apart, she simply wanted to be close. So did you.
Ahead of you, Pepper danced to the music that played over the record player. Elsa rested her head briefly against your shoulder. For so much of her life, she had chased fame believing it would finally make her happy. She had spent years reaching for applause, for recognition, for her impossible dreams that despite everything she’d been able to make a reality. But none of those things had ever been what she truly needed.
As the lights of the carnival glowed around you and the people she loved surrounded her once more, Elsa finally understood that. Success had never been the answer. Her home, her love, and her family had all been what truly mattered. And after a lifetime spent searching, she had finally found her way back to it. “Welcome home, Elsa,” you said as everyone gathered together. “Welcome home.”
For @lovingbarson
Forever Tag: @baubeautyandthegeek, @ghostsunderstoodmysoul, @immyowndefender, @valencethefriendlychangeling, @crimsonwidow666, @rebelbossheart, @thedailyspiritualist, @orangeisnttheonlyfruit, @woman-simp, @aperol-with-ivy, @leonoralessoem, @ellepossum69, @trexsuit, @analuw, @luvlesavyy, @malfoyfeed, @aliciabrower, @sparrowspixie, @imaginationismyworldlypleasure, @womenyesplease
Elsa Mars: @iticaboopsyou, @zalera8310, @brienneseveruscalaway, @derry-n, @riveranddoctorsong123, @peggycarter-steverogers, @mars-rivers, @g0thtrash, @callsigncrash, @estesjourney, @babygirlscout
This is pure perfection!!! Thank you for always turning my requests into something beautiful and way past my imagination ever could !
