#olivia benson

[rahleeyah]

Howl - Chapter Eight

an SVU story

TW: n/a

Chapter summary: Elliot and Olivia escape the diner.

Read on FFN

or Ao3

[ghostwritingnightmares]

Chapter 14: Present: On The Other Side

Summary: Olivia wakes up and tries to figure out how the pieces are going to fit together now.

Warnings: hospital setting

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-~-

Olivia wakes up with no idea where she is or how long she has been out. All she knows is that everything in her body hurts. There is a sharp pain in her side that makes it hard to breathe. She lets out a tiny grunt, which makes her realize how dry her throat is. 

“You need water,” a voice with a distinct Russian accent says, which makes Olivia open her eyes. “Let me help you.”

Galina is in a hospital bed that is pulled up next to Olivia’s, so close that there is barely any space between them. The older woman’s vibrant red hair is tucked underneath a bandana that Olivia knows is hiding the bald spot that Elliot forced upon her. She had only seen a glimpse of it when she went to protect the older woman, but it had been burned into her brain. Olivia still can’t believe someone she trusted for years could go to such desperate ends. 

 She looks back at Galina, taking in how much older she looks against the hospital sheets. It was only a couple of weeks since Olivia first met the woman, but she can already tell the stark difference. There is a hallowness in her cheeks, a darkness in her eyes, and a sadness on her lips. It is like she has aged ten years with every day that passes. It shows how much Elliot has stolen from other people, all because he couldn’t let Olivia be happy with someone else. 

Olivia goes to say something, but Galina tsks and hands her a cup of water. “No speaking. Drink this first, my doch’.”

When Olivia’s hand shake Galina leans over to help her take a drink. She gulps down the cup, filling her throat calm a little. When that is empty, Galina fills it up and makes her drink another. After the second one is gone, Olivia finally speaks. 

“I’m sorry.”

Galina tilts her head to look at her while raising her eyebrow. “For what?”

Olivia looks panicked then because she has no idea where to start. There is so much she needs to say sorry for. She should apologize for leaving you alone and not being there when Viola was born. She could apologize for the way that she distrusted Galina from the moment they locked eyes. She could apologize for everything that Elliot took from them.

There are so many things to say, and now Olivia feels like she can’t say any of them. 

“You look exactly like our little star,” Galina says instead, and Olivia’s heart fluttered at the way “our” sounds coming from the other woman. “It’s like looking in a mirror at the woman my granddaughter will be.”

“And you hate it?” Olivia asks instinctively, bracing for the harsh comment. 

Galina shakes her head. “No, it makes me proud. So don’t apologize for whatever it is racing through your mind. I don't want to hear it.” Olivia doesn’t know what to respond, and it doesn’t matter because Galina continues. “I looked you up, you know. The minute malysh mentioned you.”

“I’m not surprised,” Olivia comments, settling back against the pillows for a moment. “Full background check and everything, I’m assuming.”

Galina laughs as she nods. “You are one of the only good ones out there. Viola has a beautiful role model to look up to.”

Olivia feels herself melting but can’t help but add. “Y/N is a role model too.”

“Yes, but her story is…different. It came with a lot of choices that she isn’t always proud of,” Galina reaches for Olivia’s hand. She hesitantly takes it. “Yours is a thing of miracles, doch’. You rose out of the ashes and made something of your life.” 

Olivia looks at Galina’s hand and doesn’t hesitate to wrap her fingers tighter around the older woman’s. “Doch’. My Russian is a little rusty, so Viola has been catching me up. She told me that means daughter.”

Galina laughs again, her face curling into a smile that almost makes her look normal again. “That little girl has been teaching your Russian?”

“I know some Russian,” Olivia clarifies but then looks sheepish, “but yes, she told me that if I was going to get along with Babushka I was going to have to know Russian. When I told her I speak Hungarian, Italian, Spanish, and French, she looked thoroughly unimpressed.”

“That’s my girl,” Galina says, squeezing Olivia’s hand a little tighter. “I’ll teach you Russian, but Viola was right. It means daughter.”

“Th…thank you,” Olivia murmurs, trying to figure out how else to explain the uncontrollable beating of her heart. 

“You saved my life, my daughter’s life, and my granddaughter’s life. I figured it was time to make you part of the family,” Galina smiles, pulling their intertwined hands up to give the back of Olivia’s hand a soft kiss. “Now try and get some rest. Vi and Malysh were going home to take showers. They haven’t left your side in days. They will want you awake when they return.” Olivia tries to take her hand away, but Galina pulls it closer. “No, this stays here. To help me sleep. We both need sleep.”

-~-

Olivia doesn’t know how much time passes before she is gently shaken awake by Galina. The older woman is still holding her hand but has her phone in the other. 

“They will be here soon.”

Olivia’s heart starts to beat uncontrollably. She is nervous and excited about so many things. She can’t wait to see her daughter again and listen to all of the nonsense ramblings that are sure to come out of the young girl’s mouth. However, there is a bigger part of Olivia that is nervous about seeing you. Especially when the words still linger in her brain every time she closes her eyes. 

Hey, no, none of that. You don’t get to make me fall in love with you all over again just to leave me. No. I refuse. You fucking stay awake.

You were in love with her, and while it is everything that she has wanted to hear for years, she doesn’t know where to go from here. She has missed so many years of her life all because she let some man poison her thoughts. Elliot played on her insecurities and made her take the one good thing she had and throw it away. Not only that, but he had been doing it for years since then. He had been hiding letters, the existence of her daughter, and the knowledge that you were out there somewhere, missing Olivia. Everything was still coming apart at the seams, and Olivia didn’t know how to fix it. 

Luckily, she can’t think about it too much because there is a patter of feet and then a large scream.

“Momma! Momma is awake!” Viola says, bouncing up and down.

Olivia can’t help but laugh as she looks over to see her daughter carrying a stuffed animal that is almost as big as her. She looks taller now, which seems impossible in the short time that Olivia has been asleep, but she is sure of it. Her little girl is growing up before her eyes. Viola drops the teddy bear and runs across the small room. You rush in behind her, your good hand full of bags, looking frazzled at how uncontrollable the young girl is. 

“Vi! Be…” you protest, but it is too late. 

Viola jumps onto Olivia’s bed without hesitation. Her small body slams right into the bandages that are still on Olivia’s hip. It hurts enough that she lets out a small grunt, but she doesn’t care. She grabs the young girl, pulling her close to her chest. 

“Hi, my sweet little star,” Olivia breathes, pressing multiple kisses into Viola’s hairline. 

“You kept your promise,” Viola says, tears soaking the collar of Olivia’s hospital gown. “You didn’t go. You didn’t go.”

Olivia feels herself crying as she holds the shaking girl. She does her best to calm them both down by letting her fingers gently comb through Viola’s hair. “I told you, baby, I’m not going anywhere. I’m not going anywhere.” She pulls back slightly to kiss Viola’s forehead. “I love you. I love you so much, my little star.”

“I love you, Momma,” Viola smiles, using her tiny hands to wipe away the tears on Olivia’s face. Olivia laughs when her fingers start to do the same thing. 

Galina only intervenes when a wince betrays how uncomfortable Olivia is getting with Viola sitting on her hips. “Lil star come sit with your babushka. Give your Mommy and Momma some time to talk. Remember that Momma is still trying to recover.”

Viola gives Olivia a soft kiss on the cheek before clambering over to Galina. She curls against her side, not taking her eyes off Olivia.  It is then that Olivia’s eyes finally drift over to you. You are standing in the doorway, bags clutched tightly in your hands. You haven’t moved an inch, and tears are threatening to spill down your face. 

Slowly, with a wobble still in her voice, Olivia finally says. “Hey there.”

It’s two simple words, but they crack something inside you, making you move. You rush to the chair that is beside her bed, dumping the bags. You don’t immediately go to hug her but instead start checking the medicine drip that hangs on her forearm. When that seems okay, you pull back the covers just enough to check her bandages. 

“Does something hurt?” You ask anxiously, still not looking at Olivia. “I should get the nurse and make sure everything is okay.” 

You don’t wait for her response just use your arm that isn’t in a cast to fuss at the blanket you just moved. You mumble incoherent things that you need to do just so you have something to say instead of what you really want to say. 

Yet at the same time you don’t even know what to say. You have been rehearsing it ever since Olivia got put on the gurney and rushed to the hospital. You thought of a million things to apologize for as her heart monitor flattened in the ambulance. Then, for the three minutes that it had stayed stagnant, you imagined every regret and painful moment you had put her through. You had thought about it so much that you were drowning it by the time the doctors told you she had made it through surgery. 

Then, between quiet beeps of the monitors and you analyzing every single breath Olivia took, you realized that even now you may never get the chance to say what you really felt. All of this baggage seemed like too much to come back from, and maybe it would have been better if Elliot had shot you then. Then you wouldn’t have to stand here looking at the love of your life and feel like if you said the wrong thing everything would crash back around you. 

Olivia reaches for your hand, pulling you towards her to stop the nervous fidgeting.  It contains more power than you are expecting, and you topple into her. Your arms bracket her, with your fingers pushing the cast off the bed as you do your best to avoid the bandages that Viola had already trampled over. Olivia doesn’t care, though. All she does is pull up the bottom of your chin, forcing you to look at her. 

“Nothing hurts,” she reassures you. Her eyes are bloodshot from her recent tears, but there is something deeper hidden there that you can’t describe. “Just say it again. Say it again so I know that it wasn’t some elaborate dream I made up to make dying easier.”

“Say what?” You ask, oblivious to what she could be talking about. You just melt into her touch, soaking in the fact that she is looking at you. It has been so long since she has looked at you, and you forgot how desperately you needed to be seen. 

Galina tsk-tsks at your foolishness, grabbing a paper cup and tossing it at you. You turn to glare at her, but she just laughs. “Tell her you have been madly in love with her since the day you left, you idiot.”

You feel the heat burn across your skin when you realize what is going on. You look back at Olivia, your hands shaking as you go to cup her cheek. “I love you, Olivia Benson. I loved you every single day that I wasn’t with you, and I’m so sorry that I let all of this happen to you.”

Olivia doesn’t answer at first just leans in and kisses you deeply. Your brain short circuits and suddenly none of it matters anymore. It doesn’t matter that you had Viola alone. It doesn’t matter that you wasted years of a life you could have grown with Olivia. It doesn’t matter because life is too fucking short to get caught up in the past when she is here right now kissing you like not a single day has passed since she has wanted to be your wife. 

When she finally pulls away, she lets her forehead press against yours. “I love you, and I will never make you doubt that ever again. I’m so sorry that I left you and made you feel so alone. I’m so sorry you had to raise our child by yourself. I’m so sorry for not telling you every single moment of every day how much I adored you.”

Your hands shake then as you grasp onto her hospital gown when you finally get the sense to respond. “You better stop trying to die on me.”

Olivia laughs, pulling you onto the hospital bed so you can curl against her side. “I think I can do that.”

-

Taglist

@writerspirit // @milfslvr // @marvel210 // @impossiblewolf // @violet-amore // @teadah18 // @ffionhxw // @lawolsonlover r // @natromanoff14 // @introvertpan84 // @caitlink26 //

[belovasvault]

Season 7 Olivia Benson, my god 😍

[melschemmentitties]

i saw that you were taking requests, and was wondering if you could write olivia benson smut?

Archive of Our Own ᯓ★ join my taglist

tags: @asolitaryrose3 @badblood1013 @luchmmenti96 @flamesofauburn @infamousluvr @yourmomssidepiece @daddy-heather-dunbar

cw: pure smut, honestly ❤︎

You’re standing in the kitchen, stirring a pot of pasta sauce when the front door clicks open. You’re wearing bike shorts and a tank top, hair in a loose braid over your shoulder, barefoot. It is spring in New York now, the weather is warming up, and the apartment has been stuffy, hence your minimal clothing. 

You look up when you hear her heels clicking against the wooden floor, and you grin. “Hi baby,” you say. “How was your day?” 

She doesn’t answer; she just walks closer and slides her arms around your waist, pulling you close to her. “Mm, hello,” you giggle. “Missed me?” 

“So fucking much,” Olivia says, spinning you around. You yelp, the movement taking you by surprise. She grips your hips and lifts you up. 

“Liv,” you whimper, wrapping your legs around her waist. “Baby, the sauce is gonna burn.” 

“Fuck the sauce,” she says, placing you down on the kitchen island. 

“At least turn the stove off,” you mumble, breath hitching as her lips latch onto your neck. She sucks, hard enough to leave a mark, and you moan loudly. You love having your neck sucked, marks be damned. 

“It’ll be fine,” she insists, her hand sliding under your baggy shirt and palming your right breast. 

“Liv,” you moan, head thrown back. Your nails dig into her shoulders, chest heaving as she twists your nipples while her tongue licks your collarbone. 

She removes her hands from your chest and pulls your shorts down, and you lift your hips to help her. You hiss as your bare ass presses against the cold marble counter, and she smirks. “No underwear, my dirty girl.” 

“Olivia, the sauce is burning,” you whine. Olivia ignores you, pushing your legs open. She kisses the inside of your thigh, right hand holding your leg back with bruising force while her left hand spreads you open. 

“Fuck, baby. Look at you,” she sighs. “My perfect girl, so wet and needy for me.” 

“Olivia,” you whine, needing her to touch you. Cold air hits your clit as she spreads you open, and she plunges her tongue deep inside of you, her nose nudging your swollen bud. “M’fuck!” You moan, your hands sliding into her hair. You grip the brunette curls in a makeshift ponytail and grind your hips against her face, using her tongue to get yourself off. 

She looks up at you, a grin on her face, a twinkle in her eyes as you ride her. “Oh shit,” you groan, legs shaking. “Right there, baby. Right fuckin’ there!” 

She slurps, tongue plunging in and out; she moves her face side to side so her nose bumps your clit repeatedly, and your whole body tenses. 

You cry out, rocking against her face as you climax. It takes over your whole body; you tremble and shake until she finally lets up and kisses up your pussy and to your stomach. 

“Turn. Off. The. Stove.” You mumble, voice shaky. Olivia laughs, reaching over to turn off the heat before pulling you into her arms again. 

“You’re bossy,” she says, kissing you desperately. You moan as you taste yourself on her lips, sliding your hands through her hair as you kiss messily. Her hands hold your ass as she holds you up, and she squeezes the cheeks, bouncing you against her. Your clit drags against her shirt, and you groan. 

“M’gonna fuck you with my strap now,” she says. “That okay, baby?” 

“More than okay,” you whimper against her lips. “What’s got you so worked up, Benson?” 

“No talking,” she says, kissing you again. She pushes you against the hallway wall, sliding her tongue down your throat. “My desperate girl,” she mumbles. “I can feel you leaking on my shirt.” 

“Well, you’re making me very wet,” you whisper as she continues down the hall to the bedroom. She throws you on the bed, smirking as you bounce. You slide your top over your head and remove your hair from its braid, shaking it out. Olivia watches you as she unbuttons her shirt, the charcoal grey material damp in the middle. 

She tosses it aside before unzipping her slacks and sliding out of them. She is wearing a matching bra and panties set, lace, black. She looks sexy, and you spread your legs, sliding your hand between them as you watch her. You dip your fingers into your wetness and drag it up to your clit. 

“Wow, you are excited, huh?” She smirks, watching you. “You want me to fuck you, sweetheart?” 

“Yes,” you sigh, your voice barely audible as you circle your clit. 

“Yes, what, sunshine?” 

She unclasps her bra and slides it off, her full breasts spilling out. You whine at the sight of her hardening nipples. 

“Yes, Captain,” you mumble. “Wanna suck on your tits while you fuck me.” 

“Mm, you know mommy loves that,” she purrs, reaching into the nightstand for her leather strap. She snaps it so the straps make a loud noise, and then she slides it up her legs, tightening it expertly. When the strap is on, it becomes an extension of her. She acts like it is her cock, like she can feel it, and she loves watching you take every inch of it. 

“Ready, baby?” 

“Yes, captain mommy,” you giggle, lifting your legs back and holding them beside your head. 

“My flexible girl,” she groans, smacking the dildo against your clit. “So wet for me.” 

“Please, mommy,” you whine, fluttering your lashes at her. “Need your big cock.” 

“M’gonna stuff you, pretty girl,” she grunts, pressing the head of the toy against your tight hole. She slides in, groaning as if she can feel it, and your eyes roll into the back of your head. 

“Good girl,” she says, pressing her hands into the back of your thighs, pushing you further open as she bottoms out. You both moan as the dildo bumps your cervix, hitting you at such a deep angle you can feel it in your belly. “So fucking deep, so fucking tight,” she groans, pulling almost all of the way out before sliding back in again. Her hips snap against yours, and you stick your tongue out to lick her left nipple as it bounces in your face. 

“Wanna suck,” you whine, tiny whimpers escaping your lips as she pounds into you. 

“Suck, baby. Atta girl,” she says as you hold her breast and slide your lips around the taut bud. “Fuck, mommy loves it when you do that, sweet girl.” 

“Mm,” you whimper, pleasure overwhelming. Olivia squeezes your thighs as she rocks into you, her skin slapping loudly against yours. 

“Gonna cum on my cock, sweetheart?” 

“Yes mommy,” you whine, moving to her other nipple. “Been thinkin’ about this all day.” 

“Me too,” she grunts. “Been thinking about coming home and railing you so hard you see fucking stars.” 

She moves faster, harder, pumping into you so hard it hurts, and your mouth falls open against her breast as pleasure shoots through every inch of your body, making you tingle all over. “Oh fuck. Oh fuck,” you cry out, nails digging into her shoulders. “Livy baby, fuck! Oh, Jesus!” 

“Good girl,” she grunts. She pulls out abruptly and flips you into your stomach. Your chest heaves, your legs tremble as she lifts you so your ass is in the air, and she slides back in so hard it steals your breath. 

“Look at you, little whore. My perfect little whore,” she grunts, her hands pressing into the small of your back. You drool into the mattress, lying there as she pounds into you. The headboard knocks violently against the wall, and you scream into the bed. 

“Does that feel good, sweetheart?” She asks. “Fuck, I’m gonna cum in you, baby.” 

“Yes, mommy,” you moan. Olivia has one of those dildos that you fill with lube, and when she presses a remote, it squirts into you like she is cumming inside of you. She loves it, and truthfully, you love it too.” 

The dildo hits her clit each time she thrusts, and you can tell from the hitch in her voice that she is close. “Gonna fill you, baby. Gonna stuff you so deep you get pregnant.” 

“Ugh, yes mommy,” you whine. “Fuck, I’m gonna cum again! Can you cum with me, mommy?” 

“As you asked so nicely,” she grunts. She smacks her hips into yours repeatedly. Once, twice, three times, and then her orgasm takes over, and she hits the button, releasing the cum deep in your cunt. 

“Fuuuck,” she whines, hips sputtering as she fills you up. Your own climax takes over the second you feel it dripping from you, and you rock your hips back against her, fucking yourself on her cock. 

“Thank you, mommy,” you whine tiredly, heart pounding against your chest as she collapses on top of you. She pushes you down into the mattress, her body heavy on top of you. Her cock pulses deep inside of you as she breathes into your neck. 

“M’gonna stay in you until I’m ready to go again,” she mumbles. “Dinner can wait.” 

“But I’m hungry,” you pout. 

“Fine, we can order pizza,” she says, sliding out. You moan at the emptiness, trying to fight between the feeling of being filled and the hunger. 

“Will you fuck me again after dinner, mommy?” You ask, rolling into your back as she removes the harness. 

“If that’s what you want, my angel,” she grins. “I love coming home to you. I had a terrible day.” 

“I could tell,” you say seriously. “But I’m not complaining. You know you can use me however you need when you come home.” 

“Mm, my good girl,” she says, leaning over the bed to stroke your cheek. “I’m very lucky to have you.” 

“I think I’m the lucky one,” you giggle. “You fuck me so good, mommy.” 

“You’re a brat,” she laughs, climbing onto the bed again and kissing you deeply. “I’m gonna eat you out again while we wait for the pizza to arrive, okay?” 

“Okay,” you say, fluttering your eyelashes at her as she grabs her phone and makes the order. You hold your legs open, both of you watching as the lube (cum) oozes out of you, and Liv groans. 

“Prettiest pussy in the world,” she says. “And it’s all mine.” 

[melschemmentitties]

Got something very yummy in my queued posts :)

[islamck8]

Nick amaro is so gorgeous I just 😢 cant

[speciallesbiansunit]

i miss you all of the time read on ao3

fandom: law & order: svu ship(s): olivia benson/alexandra cabot

summary: olivia benson, alexandra cabot, and the messages they couldn't send. (a collection of "voicemails" left to alex cabot and unsent letters addressed to olivia benson during alex's time in witsec.)

chapters:

i. loss (prologue)

ii. voicemails / love, alex

iii. ghost