So, party-with-a-gas-can told me she wanted to build upper body strength because it would make her work easier. I know her work gets in the way of going to a gym, so I wanted to give y'all some body weight exercises that you can do anywhere, with little to no equipment.
As always with any of these: you should feel like you're working hard, but you shouldn't feel pain. If you feel pain, stop.
If you have any injuries, please don't start an exercise program without advice from a competent physio, doctor or allied health professional. You can injure yourself further and make things worse.
There are videos out there of how to do these exercises with good form. Watch them.
I'm not a health professional. Please take care of yourselves.
For a lot of these, I'm--kind of assuming you know how to do them. If you don't, please let me know and I'll find you a video where someone has good form and link you to it.
And finally: I am quite possibly the unfittest person on the planet. I'm really overweight. I hate exercise and I have significant injuries that stop me from doing a lot of stuff.
I actually love lifting weights though. It's hard, and sometimes boring but I do feel really good afterwards. I'd advise you to lift as heavy as you capably can: it's really good for your bone density. But more than all the fitness/health benefits is the fact that it feels AWESOME to be strong. To be able to pick up that 20 (or 40) kilo weight with no problem to carry it out to your car. To be the one that your parents call when they need to shift furniture.
Let me ask you to give it a chance. If, by the end of three months of doing this three times a week, if you still hate weights then you do you, bbs. Find a form of exercise you enjoy and do that.
Just say you'll do it with me. C'mon.
For all of these exercises, you should aim to do 2-3 sets of 10-15 repetitions. Give yourself a day's rest inbetween. Start off with 2 sets of 10 reps. If that's easy, add more reps, or another set.
Once you are doing 3 sets regularly, drop down to 10 reps and do four sets. Once you're up to 15 of those, then try the next hardest exercise.
1. Push-ups.
First of all, I'd like to say, if you can't do a full pushup, that's ok. Even if you can't do pushups on your knees. There are other places to start!
Draw yourself up tall and brace your abdominal muscles. Lean against a wall and push yourself away with your hands. The more of an angle you lean at, the harder you work.
If that's too easy, lean on the seat of a chair or a table. The lower the surface you're working from, the harder you work.
If that's too easy, go to knee pushups. If that's too easy, full pushups.
The slower you let yourself down, the more it will work your back muscles. The narrower your hands are apart, the more it will work your tricep muscles. The wider your hands are apart, the more it will work your pecs.
Muscles worked Pectoralis, deltoid, triceps brachii, serratus anterior, abdominal muscles, coracobrachialis, and latissimus dorsi. (Visual here)
2. Back exercises
Most people neglect their backs. I, personally, have found these exercises amazing for lower back pain. Particularly if you're a little bigger and you have a bit of a belly, your belly will drag against your spine, arching it. Strengthening the erector spinae will help you stand more neutrally, which might help your back pain.
To start off with: prone Supermans. Lie face down on the ground. Lift one arm and the opposite leg, slowly. hold for a count of two, lower to the ground. Repeat with the other arm and leg.
If those are too easy: Kneeling supermans (or bird dogs). get up on your hands and raise one hand out straight in front of you, extending the opposite leg behind you. Make sure your arms and legs are level with your back--don't hyper-extend.
A harder alternative is: if you have a fitball (which I'd really recommend, they're cheap and useful) then lie down on it. Balance yourself on your hands, then raise one leg at a time so they're in a straight line from your spine. Raise and lower them slowly, pausing for two seconds at the top.
(video here)
If you need still harder, then do the above exercise with both legs together, or while extending the opposite arm.
If you want to make it harder STILL and give your abs more of a workout, balance on the fitball with your hands and perform the same motion.
If you're pulling anything up towards you, you need strong bicep muscles. They're actually probably the hardest thing to exercise at home without weights, but there are ways around that.
Bicep curls--start with a kilo bag of flour. You can up weights from there. Rice is another good thing to use as a weight.
Pull ups. Look, if you're anything like me, you can't do a pull up or a chin up to save yourself. So here are ways to start small.
If you have a park near you, then you can use kids exercise bars. If you're embarrassed to do this in public or the weather's foul, fair enough--you can use the edge of a table, but be careful not to bump your head.
Prone pull ups: Lie on the ground underneath a bar or the table. Grip the edge/bar with your palms facing your face and pull yourself upwards. You do NOT have to pull your entire body. Start with your torso: leave your butt on the ground. The harder you want to make it, lift more of your body.
4. Tricep muscle
This is the muscle you use to pull something down towards you. The easiest way to exercise this is with tricep dips. Perch in mid-air, supporting your weight on a surface behind you. Lower your weight with your arms, slowly.
You can make it easier or harder on yourself by supporting more of your muscle with your legs.
If you can't do this, grab a can of something and move your arm so your bent elbow is slightly behind your back. Have your elbow bent level to the ground. Extend your arm until it's straight, then bring back up again. Repeat.
So, this is a starting routine. I'll be adding to it over time. I'll be doing this. Let me know if you are going to do it along with me.
So, you've spent a week concentrating on trying to get to bed and naturally succeeding, haven't you?
(Just kidding. If you're anything like me, you failed miserably. But that's ok! Keep on trying!)
Now I want to talk about another physical need:
Water.
Pros for drinking water:
Your skin looks and feels better.
Means your mouth doesn't taste like the bottom of a birdcage
Fewer headaches
How many of you genuinely drink enough? You do get a fair bit of water from your food, and tea and coffee do count buuuut they also contain a diuretic, so you're not getting the full benefit. (By all means keep drinking coffee/tea! just, y'know, supplement with water)
The science is here. I find a good rule of thumb to go by is pee colour. Your urine should probably be a clear pale yellow. Anything else, either drink more or go see a doctor. (Also, if you're on medical advice to limit your water, then listen to your doctor.)
So. I want y'all to make a pledge with me. Look at how much water you genuinely drink.
Then tomorrow, drink a glass of water with your meals. Oh, drink more if you're thirsty, but if you're starting from being someone who just plain doesn't drink water, then start with having 1-2 glasses of water with your meals. Do that for a couple of days.
Then if you have morning or afternoon tea, drink your tea, but also pour yourself a glass of water and chug it.
So, if we're talking about improving our lives from potentially feeling like crap, we need to talk about the essentials first. Those are water, food, and sleep.
So: let's talk about sleep.
Lack of sleep sucks. You feel cranky and unable to cope with things. Your circulation is poor, your hands and face look blotchy and you have circles under your eyes. You can't concentrate or understand things as well.
The "average" human requires ~7 to 9 hours sleep a night. But who actually sleeps that much?
I'm gonna take a moment here and say: if you suffer from chronic insomnia, or sleep apnoea or any other medical condition, you're probably better off talking to a doctor. Hell, if you're having trouble sleeping then consult a doctor.
But if you're like me and you just resent sleep because there are so many other things you could be doing or you'll just finish this chapter or only one more episode then this post is for you. (The next day after this situation is literally what I call "the bottom of the bad decision tree". You feel like crap and you know it's all your own fault but that doesn't make it any better. Also, people should fuck off and not speak to you and dear god there is not enough coffee in the world.)
And I have one thing to say.
Quit it.
Sleep is a literal physical need. Are you prioritizing That Awesome Thing over your actual health? It's not worth it. The book will still be there. The TV program will be shown again, or you can record it and watch it later. Whatever you're doing CAN WAIT.
HOW DO I MAKE SLEEP A PRIORITY?
For most of you, you'll just go "I need to be up by x time so if I go to bed at y time, I will get 8 hours sleep." Fantastic, you're done, you don't need to read the rest of this post. Start going to bed at y time and enjoy your sleep! Also, you have my envy at being more of a successful adult than I am.
This is the post for those of us who go to bed at 3am because they get absorbed in stuff and then rush around like a headless chicken in the morning because they don't have enough time and spend the rest of the day feeling homicidal from lack of sleep.
Work out how much sleep you need. Do you sleep in for hours and hours on a weekend? That's probably a sign that you're not getting enough sleep during the week, and you're in sleep debt. If you're not sure, start at 8 hours and see if you still feel sleepy or if you're waking up early. Adjust according to the evidence.
(If you know that you need 10 hours, then take it. Sleep is an actual physical need and people who try to deny it usually end up losing that particular fight.)
Start from the time that you have to leave the house to be at work on time. Look at how much time you require to get ready without rushing. I'd highly encourage you to include time to eat breakfast in there cause breakfast is important.
Then work backwards from there. For example, for me.
Time I have to leave the house:
8:10am.
Time I require to get ready without rushing:
25 minutes to eat breakfast and have a cup of coffee,
5 minutes to brush my teeth,
15 minutes to get dressed,
10 minutes to pack my bag,
10 minutes to feed the cats/change their water/clean their litter,
5 minutes to put the rubbish out ,
5 minutes to wash my breakfast dishes
This is a leisurely morning for me. I can scoff my breakfast in ten minutes, throw on my clothes in five and get my time from out of bed to out the door down to 15 minutes. But it doesn't make for a relaxing morning, and I'm aiming to improve my quality of life not add to my stress.
So. Work out what you have to do in the morning. Add the time up. Subtract it from the time you have to leave the house. Now you have the time you have to be out of bed. So, for me, that's 6:55am.
Are you a person who likes to hit the snooze button ten times? If so, add the (on average) amount of time you spend hitting the snooze button up and subtract it from the time you have to be out of bed.
Now work backwards from there. I need to be in bed by 10:55pm to get eight hours sleep.
BUT I CAN'T GET TO SLEEP WHEN I GO STRAIGHT TO BED!!!
What are you actually doing before you go to bed? Are you looking at a screen with a lot of bright light? Thinking intensely about stuff?
Set an alarm. Establish a bedtime routine. For me, at 10:25pm, I have an alarm set on my fitbit. (I hate the alarm sounds on my phone cause they startle me, whereas something buzzing on my wrist is just like "what? Oh." YMMV, of course) I know that means:
Put down what you are doing.
No, seriously, put it down
No. Not one more stitch. Not five more minutes. Stick the needle in where you are and put it out of the way. Find the remote and turn the tv/dvd player off.
Have a shower.
Clean your teeth
Moisturise.
That's my bedtime routine. Because I know that for me, that means "start getting ready to go to sleep" by the time I actually get in to bed, I'm ready to sleep.
If you're still having trouble, a couple of things to consider.
Would meditating help? If you can't stop your brain from running around in circles like a mouse on an exercise wheel, sometimes meditating can help calm it down.
Are you getting enough exercise? A gentle half-hour walk an hour and a half before bedtime may help. Or try yoga.
A couple of other things. Don't read in bed if you're trying to go to sleep. You're aiming to have your bed be a place where you go to sleep, not where you go to lie while you just finish that one chapter. If you can't sleep, get up and sit in a chair and read under as low a light as you can.
Don't watch TV in bed. Ditto above.
Make your bed as comfortable as possible. Fresh sheets. Wash your bedding. Are you too hot or too cold? Have a comfortable amount of pillows. (And remember, it's generally better to be a little bit too cool than too hot.)
If your significant other (or pet) snores and it disturbs your sleep, don't hesitate to move to a separate bed if you have the space (or kick them out if they're a pet). If they create a fuss, stare at them and say "Asking me to priotize your feelings above my health is not good. Let me have enough sleep."
If your PET makes a fuss at being kicked out, well, that's what water pistols/spray bottles are for.
Spend a week prioritizing your sleep and trying to get eight hours of sleep and let me know how you go!
I will give advice. But that advice will come from, I hope, a place of common sense and I'm requiring you to apply the same common sense in applying it. The advice I give may not work for you.
IF IT HURTS (actual pain, not "I'm sore from working out") OR MAKES YOU UNWELL IN ANY WAY, SHAPE OR FORM, THEN DON'T DO IT.
If they're simple and you know what you want to do and how to start, good on you! Submit a post on here for public accountability! (If you want to keep them private, that's cool too. Send me an email at the email below. I'm happy to send you reminder emails.)
If your goals are not simple and you're working with lack of spoons, or you've got a chronic injury you're not quite sure how to work around, or you don't even know where to start, please feel free to either submit a post to here asking for advice, or send an email to really(dot)notanadult(at)gmail(dot)com
I discuss my eating disorder. As always, take care of you.
So, I'm 37, and fat. I'm recovering from an eating disorder (EDNOS). I've finally gotten past the "starve" part of it, but I CAN'T diet without becoming sick again (and, tbh, if any of your requests are going towards "Help me stick on this tremendously restrictive eating plan!" I'm probably going to have to NOPE out, because I can't deal with it. I'll encourage towards healthy eating, but that's about as far as it goes.)
I have bursitis in my left hip. So far cortisone injections have done precisely NOTHING so I'm trying to remember to take my meds three times a day to keep my hip functional. The trouble is, the meds have to be taken with food.
Yeah. See the problem there?
The larger picture is that the EDNOS is all part of the fact that I am TERRIBLE at taking care of myself. Seriously terrible. And because I'm so bad at taking care of myself, I lack the energy to do the stuff that I want to do.
So: I've got goals that are three-fold.
1. Taking care of myself.
Bed by 11pm each night.
Cook dinner (with veges!) at least three nights this week.
Drink at least six glasses of water a day.
Take my meds.
20 minutes cleaning a night.
2. Getting my crafty thing on.
I have so many unfinished projects. Seriously. SO MANY.
Each day this week, do 30 minutes of one of your unfinished projects. At the moment these are:
Lavender Radiance
The blue hat.
The leafy lace scarf.
Teresa Wentzler's The Castle
The black and gold quilt
Finish up the Raspberry quilt
The vogue shirt. x 3.
The cat flannel quilt
Secret garden quilt
There's more. Seriously, I need to actually dig into and document my fabric stash.
3. Exercise
Iiiiiif my hip feels up to it, I will do:
Lower back exercises twice a day
Walking for half an hour a day (this is the one that may be dropped depending on how my hip feels)
Yoga three times a week. ( doyogawithme.com is GREAT. Free yoga online!)
This list looks overwhelming, but it's basically:
Eat, take your meds and drink water. Go to bed at a reasonable time and do some cleaning each day. Do some craft each day. Do your back exercises each day and walk if you feel able to.
LET ME KNOW WHAT YOU WANT TO ACHIEVE. Let me know what your limitations are. I will work with you to set a goal, small to start with, that will get you towards your goal.
It doesn't matter how many times you've tried and not succeeded. What we do here is reassess, readjust and go on.
