Psychosphere

Welcome to the creative blog of the EdBoard of the Psychology Department of LSR

[lsr-psychosphere]

Home Out of Sickness

by Kasish Ngangom Tug at my Heartstrings, November 2017

If I have to recall how I reached there, trust me, I have absolutely no idea. The 10th boards finally ended, I had a nice long break, and the next moment I was there, huffing and puffing my way up the stairs with those huge suitcases. “No parents allowed in the rooms,” they said. I saw my mom’s eyes, worried; she had planned to arrange my stuff and get my room ready. I told them to go and come back the next day, told them I was big enough to settle everything, only to realise I was utterly wrong. There I was, sweating a bucket and crying a puddle, amidst all my belongings, in a non-AC room on that hot summer afternoon. Everything came back together – I am not going to stay at home with my family, I am going to a different school with no friends the next day, I am not going to have my usual food… and the lists went on. There wasn’t a single thing about me that wasn’t changing. I had a lump in my throat, a void in my stomach, and I felt like the Dementors have sucked out every tinge of happiness in me. And little did I know that that very feeling would haunt me every day for the following one year.  

Homesickness, as they understand, is simply a mild distress caused due to our longing for home and family. But this ‘distress’ was painful, aching, and numbing. “You will cope up. Just stay happy,” they said. But staying happy was my biggest struggle and crying was my tentative solution - the only solution, in fact. “I will adapt, people do so,” I thought. But what does adapting mean, exactly? Gulping down the strange food, communicating to the alien-like people, and not wishing I was at home every single second of the day? I wondered many-a-sleepless night as to when I’d ever be happy again. I wandered in my lost world. Nevertheless, I didn’t stop trying. I started each day with desperate prayers for a good day, made efforts to focus on my priorities, and also to communicate with the people around. I opened up and engaged myself in various activities with my friends. Only when I sent out my own waves was I able to resonate. Coming back from vacations was harder - I had to go through the whole process of settling in again. But each time, it became easier because I was going back to another set of people I love. Evening nostalgias turned to amazing sunset-time conversations and sleepless nights to late night snack-hours (mornings were still hard, though it got much better with the shouting at each other to turn-off the irritating alarms). We tagged ourselves as ‘gharwaale’.

Now, I smile. I smile when I look back to those seemingly endless months, smile at how my friends used to run around the room singing and acting just to cheer me up a bit, at how I used to console myself with a “You are strong” in my diary entry, at those hourly phone calls to my mom telling her that I’m giving up….at every little thing said and done, which now, I realise, is precious, as precious can be. Innumerable forces held me together back then but the strongest impetus was from faith and perseverance. Words were never and would never be enough to describe the stinging pain I had to live with. The search for even a speck of happiness was long and tiring, until I realised that I wouldn’t be able to find the kind of happiness I had back home here, I’d have to create a new one instead! And that’s how my nightmares evolved into fairy tales, and how I built a home out of my haunting homesickness.

[lsr-psychosphere]

अमेरिका का यूनेस्को से अलगाव किसका परिचायक है ?

by Divya Yadav क्रांति की तलवार विचारों की सान पर, November 2017

क्या आपने हाल की यह ख़बर पढ़ी की अमेरिका ने राष्ट्रीय संघ के एक महत्वपूर्ण अंग यूनेस्को (United Nation's Educational Scientific Cultural Organization) से अपने आपको अलग करने का ऐलान कर दिया है? अमेरिकन राष्ट्रपति डॉनल्ड ट्रुम्प ने एक आधिकारिक पत्र भेजकर यूनेस्को को यह संदेश दिया है। अमेरिका के अनुसार उसका यूनेस्को से अलगाव इजरायल के प्रति यूनेस्को का भेदभाव व पक्षपात पूर्ण रवैया है! अमेरिका के इस उद् घोषणा के कुछ घंटे पश्चात ही इजरायल ने भी युनेस्को से अलग होने की घोषणा कर दी है ।इजरायल के प्रधानमंत्री बेंजामिन नेतन्यूह ने अमेरिका के इस निर्णय का स्वागत करते हुए कहा है - "यह एक साहसी और नैतिक निर्णय है क्योंकि यूनेस्को अब बेतूकेपन की पनाह बन गया है, इतिहास को संरक्षित करने की बजाय वह उसे उजाड़ रहा  है"।

यूनेस्को की डाइरेक्टर जनरल इरिना बोकोव ने अमेरिका के इस निर्णय पर दुःख व्यक्त करते हुए कहा है -"यह बहुत ही दुखद है की समस्त संसार में जब भीषण विवाद की स्थिति बनी हुई है ऐसे में अमेरिका राष्ट्रीय संघ के उस अंग से अलग हो गया है जो विश्व में शिक्षा सम्वर्धन व सांस्कृतिक संरक्षण के लिये प्रतिबद्ध है !यह न केवल राष्ट्रीय संघ के लिये हानि का विषय है बल्कि बहुपक्षीय राष्ट्रीय सम्बन्धों के लिये भी!"

पाठकों को यह बता देना उचित होगा की वास्तव में यह ख़बर जितनी सीधी प्रतीत हो रही है उतनी है नहीँ! चूँकि अमेरिका एक विकसित और आर्थिक दृष्टि से सम्पन्न, दुनिया का एक महत्वपूर्ण देश है इसलिये इस घटना का प्रभाव भी वैश्विक स्तर पर दृष्टिगोचर होगा !इतना ही नहीँ अमेरिका यूनेस्को को आर्थिक सहायता प्रदान करने वाले देशों में पाँचवे स्थान पर है इसलिए भी इस घटना का महत्व बढ़ जाता है क्योंकि इससे न केवल पैरिस स्थित यूनेस्को को हानि होगी बल्कि उसके द्वारा विश्वहित में चलाये जा रहे अभियानों में भी शिथिलता आयेगी और वैश्विक दृष्टि से इस संगठन में जो सामूहिकता को ठेस पहुंचेगी वह तो निश्चित ही है!

अब प्रश्न ये है की क्या अमेरिका ने केवल इजरायल का पक्ष लेने के लिये ही इतना बड़ा निर्णय लिया है या फ़िर इसके अंदर और भी कुछ है जिसे जानने की आवश्यकता है!

सच तो ये है की ट्रम्प इतना सीधा हो नहीँ सकता !अमेरिका की नीतियां सदा से ही अपने राष्ट्रीय हितों को लेकर बहुत ही ज्यादा कठोर रही हैं और ट्रम्प के सत्ता में आने के के बाद से तो इसमें रही -सही शालीनता भी ख़त्म हो गयी है! ट्रम्प की 'पहले अमेरिका 'की नीति से सब वाकिफ हैं जिसके अन्तर्गत अमेरिका के राष्ट्रीय व आर्थिक हित उनके लिये सर्वोपरि हैं ! वस्तुतः इजरायल तो मात्र एक बहाना है ,यूनेस्को से अलग होने के निर्णय में भी ट्रम्प की 'पहले अमेरिका 'की नीति ही काम कर रही है! चूँकि अमेरिका अपने आर्थिक हितों के लिये सदा से बहुत ही सजग रवैया रखता है और रख रहा है इसलिये उसका यह निर्णय भी इसी को ध्यान में रख कर लिया गया है क्योंकि वह अपने बजट में यूनेस्को को शामिल नहीँ करना चाहता है! भला वह अपने धन को अपने लोगों के लिये न खर्च करके वैश्विक हितों के लिये उड़ाने की मूर्खता क्यों करे? पाठकों को बता दें की यह आज की ही बात नहीँ है 2011 में भी फिलिस्तीन को यूनेस्को की पूरी सदस्यता मिलने के विरोध में भी अमेरिका ने यूनेस्को को अपने बजट में शामिल नहीँ किया था और इस वर्ष जब इजरायल को विभाजित शहर येरूसलम को कब्जा करने वाली शक्ति के रूप में बताया गया (जो   की सत्य है) तो भी अमेरिका के क्रोध की सीमा नहीँ रही! वस्तुतः वह  इस बार भी ऐसी स्थिति का फायदा उठाते हुए अमेरिक ने इजरायल का साथ देने की ओट में अपनी राष्ट्रीय संकीर्णता की मिसाल एक बार फ़िर कायम करने में तनिक भी संकोच नहीँ किया है!

कुछ लोगों को यह बात कड़वी प्रतीत हो सकती है - क्यों भई! अमेरिका एक स्वतंत्र राष्ट्र है, उसकी अपनी नीतियां हैं ,अपने राष्ट्रीय हित हैं ऐसे में वह जो करना चाहे वह कर सकता है,वैसे भी अपने हितों का ध्यान तो सभी को रखना ही चाहिये!

निश्चित रूप से इस बात में कोई दो राय नहीँ की प्रत्येक राष्ट्र को अपने हितों के प्रति जागरूक व सतर्क होना चाहिये, आखिर में वह राष्ट्र विशेष ही तो उसके अपने नागरिकों का जीवन स्रोत है और वास्तव में जो अपने पैरों पर खड़ा न हो भला उसकी सहायता के लिये कौन आगे आयेगा?निश्चित ही अपनी रक्षा स्वयं करने के लिये तत्पर होना एक प्रशंशनीय गुण है किंतु यहाँ यह बता देना आवश्यक है की यह बात उन व्यक्तियों, समाजों व देशों के लिये उचित है जो वास्तव में अपने आप पर निर्भर नहीँ हैं और अपनी रक्षा आप कर पाने में असफल हैं !जब  कोई व्यक्ति या राष्ट्र विशेष पूर्णतः आत्मनिर्भर व सम्पन्न बन जाता है तो यह उसकी नैतिक जिम्मेदारी बन जाती है की वह अपने सामर्थ्य का कुछ अंश मानवता के हित में, दूसरों के हित में खर्च करे! अपनी आवश्यकताओं को पूरा करने के बाद तो दूसरों का ख्याल करना ही चाहिये ,यही मानव धर्म है और राष्ट्रों के लिये भी यही नीति आदर्शवादी है। अपनी सामर्थ्य को वैश्विक हितों से काटकर अपने लिये ही जमा करके रखना वास्तव में स्वार्थपूर्ण संकीर्णता का द्योतक है जिसका उदाहरण स्वयं अमेरिका ने पेश किया है। ऐसा नहीँ की यह पहली बार ,जैसा की पहले ही कहा जा चुका है, अमेरिका के ऐसे स्वार्थवादी निर्णय दुनिया के समक्ष समय समय पर आते रहते हैं। पैरिस जलवायु समझौते से भी उसने सीधे मुँह मोड़ लिया था  यह कहकर की वह उसकी आर्थिक स्थिति के लिये हानिकारक होगा जबकि विश्व भर में सर्वाधिक कार्बन डाइऑक्साइड उत्सर्जित करने वाले देशों चायना के बाद दूसरे नम्बर पर उसी का नाम आता है! यह वास्तव में बहुत निंदनीय है और आश्चर्यजनक भी की कोई राष्ट्र स्वार्थवादिता की अंधी दौड़ में किस हद तक गिर सकता है जहाँ उसे मानवीय हितों का भी ख़याल न रह जाये! सभी जानते हैं  की अमेरिका आर्थिक दृष्टि से सक्षम राष्ट्र है फ़िर भी उसकी कृपणता की सीमा निर्धारित नहीँ हो पाती !वास्तव में यह उसके पतन का परिचायक है। अपनी आवश्यकताओं की पूर्ति की तरफ़ ध्यान देना उतनी ही सीमा तक सराहनीय है जहाँ तक अपने नैतिक कर्तव्यों का भी ध्यान रखा जा सके ।मानवीय हितों की बलि चढाकर पाया गया विकास ऊपरी दृष्टि से तो बहुत आकर्षक जान पड़ता है किंतु वास्तव में वह हानिकारक है क्योंकि वह चारित्रिक पतन का द्योतक है और जिस राष्ट्र का चरित्र ही गिर जाये वह भला अपने आपको कब तक सम्भाल करके रखे रह सकता है ?इसका अंदाजा पाठक स्वयं लगाने की कोशिश कर सकते हैं!

[lsr-psychosphere]

Adolescent Love and Infatuation

by Tanya Aggarwal On a New Quest, November 2017

Love is a very important part of our lives. It is a pleasant feeling we all love to experience. It makes us happier people and helps us achieve more and promote good health. Every teenager, in his/her life has felt attracted towards another person emotionally. In most cases it’s exclusive to only one person. This feeling is commonly referred to as a crush or infatuation. A teenager feels smitten by a compelling person who captivates their attention for good.

Crushes are of two kinds - identity crush and romantic crush. In both the cases, the young person largely projects onto another person idealised attributes the admirer highly values and wants to be associated with. Crushes have more to do with fantasy then with reality. How many times have you heard a girl say, “Oh, he is my Prince Charming, just like in Sleeping Beauty,” or a boy say, “My beloved, steals my heart away”. Are they not common phrases picked up from fairy tales and romantic stories?  Crushes persist for a relatively short period of time and they soon wear off. But it is because of the idealisation that crushes have such momentary power! A person may change himself/herself completely in order to appeal to his/her crush and to be approved by them. They are intensive emotions which can mobilise people largely. Hence it’s imperative to deal with such situations with sensitivity and maturity. Parents must respect adolescent crushes and not put it down.

I took up this issue because I strongly feel in such changed times, where the society is becoming liberal and allows us to express our emotions, these issues need to be discussed seriously. It is completely normal for a girl and a boy to like or be infatuated by each other.  Earlier, parents didn’t allow such acts as they felt, “What will the society think about us and the family name?” The status of the family is what mattered the most. Love marriages were not encouraged, and expressing love was not considered idea for a mannered boy or girl.

However, today times have changed. Numerous studies done by psychologists have proved that love is an important emotion in a person’s life, and that every individual should get an opportunity to experience this lovely state. It actually helps a person perform better and live better.

However, love has its own setbacks. We hear of innumerable cases of suicides, depression, and murders committed out of intense attraction towards another person. One of the main reasons for such intense acts is if a person doesn’t reciprocate the same feelings as the person who has a crush does. The person may feel heartbroken and start thinking low about himself/herself. During these hard times, the role of parents and friends becomes indispensable. A person may feel better by talking about things to someone he/she trusts and seek comfort from them. Also, it is important to understand that getting rejected is completely normal and okay. It doesn’t mean that something is wrong with them or that they are boring.

Education is the next important step that plays a key role in managing a crush. A person must be taught all about what is a crush and what they will experience through this period.

Taking up a hobby which keeps you busy and engaged helps a lot. It’s fun and relaxing. Positive psychologists have shown that by developing the right attitude and by loving oneself, a person gets the energy to fight through such times and maintain a normal life.

To conclude, having a crush is absolutely normal and that every teenager must have. It is a wonderful experience that must not be missed at any cost!

[lsr-psychosphere]

For you to read, whenever you stumble and need a reason to stand up again.

i remember you - as a sunflower always looking out for the happy the bright that made you feel alive as the waves of the sea calm and yet in motion washing away the unnecessary as a butterfly flying free and filling the sky with colour as the morning dew on the gentle leaves smelling of freshness when did you turn into a wilted flower losing hope so soon when did you turn into a static lake refusing to let go when did you start wrapping yourself up in a cocoon shutting yourself down when exactly did you turn into this person i fail to recognise you oh dear what have you done to yourself did you forget of all that's within you the invincible strength the vessel of love that overflows the warmth that one can feel even when they brush elbows with you don't forget that every time you fall you stand up back again stronger and wiser don't forget how the stars collided to let you be here today how you're a constellation coming down to earth to brighten up the day don't forget that pain is supposed to change you not define you you are still a breath of fresh air making the world come alive

- by tanishka chawla unsent letters, november 2017

[lsr-psychosphere]

The Curious Case of Infidelity

by Tanya Dutta Platonically Speaking, October 2017

Is your boyfriend perpetually talking to attractive girls, who he swears are “his cousins”? Are you too constantly trying to crack your boyfriend’s phone’s passcode? Has he still not deleted Tinder?

Girl, it sounds like you might’ve got a case of infidelity in hand.   

I think I should begin with the most obvious definition – cheating. When would you say a person is cheating? Is it only when they engage in a physical act with someone other than their partner? Or does it include sexting other people? Or perhaps when they flirt with strangers on dating apps or social media, pretending to be single? With the advent of all this technology, the lines really are blurred.

A firm believer of “live and let live”, I try to apply that principle in all aspects of life, to overpower the judgmental bitch that resides within me.  It makes sense to me that every relationship has its own dynamic, specific to the two individuals in it. So when certain things happen in Person A’s relationship that I am not down with, but Person A is, I tell myself to mind my own business.  

In a serious monogamous romantic relationship, staying loyal to your partner is kind of a big deal, if not the ultimate premise on which the relationship is based. The idea of sharing your life with that one special person, opening up to them and rendering yourself vulnerable, and working on maintaining that connection forged between the both of you, is the part of relationships which make them so lovely and infuriating at the same time.

However, it does concern me to see that cheating has blown up in recent times. It is so prevalent that it really isn’t that big a deal anymore. This has lead to two things: a heightened sense of possessiveness, suspicion, and insecurity; and loss of meaning and integrity of relationships.  

The spate of memes and “mockumentaries” on suspicious girlfriends (which is plain sexist, by the way, guys can be possessive and suspicious too), is testament to the first phenomenon. Due to the prevalence of cheating, impositions of constant tests to prove one’s loyalty to their partner to an extent that it stifles them aren’t uncommon.  Being afraid of getting hurt is a very real and legitimate fear, and everyone experiences it at some point or another, but trying to track every movement your boo makes, and having them justify every interaction they have with other people, becomes exhausting for you and irritating for them.

The simple fact that reality shows exist to bust cheating partners and test their restraint is thought-provoking – it makes you realize that capitalists never know where to stop, and it leads you to believe that love is dead.

Everything has gone online, including relationships. Sliding into DMs on instagram, sending (disappearing) flirty snaps on snapchat, and having the privilege to delete chats, has made cheating online… easy. I didn’t bring this up to plant a seed of doubt in your minds, readers, but just illustrate the loss of meaning in relationships, because how important could your relationship be to you, if you’re doing all of the above? Not very, it seems.

Sure, monogamy may not be natural for human beings, but you should probably consider that argument before you get into relationship like that, rather than bring it up after an act of indiscretion on your part.

Now, a big question – what do you do if you know your partner has cheated? The answer is definitely not an easy black-or-white, it’s tinged with hues of grey. Depending on the circumstances, the amount of remorse and other factors involved, one can decide to either break up, or try and work on the relationship. But a third person can never know the situation as well as the two people actually involved, so it’s a good idea to leave it to them.

Moving on to the next big question - how can one not cheat, ever? I read about this rule of thumb that said, if you’re doing something that is even slightly questionable, think about whether you would be alright with your partner knowing. If you’re not, then you probably know the answer. My two cents on this would be to also maybe think about how much you admire and appreciate your partner, and how a few moments of pleasure with another would not be worth wrecking the beautiful bond you share. A last piece of advice which is universally applicable – just don’t be a jerk – works like a charm.

[lsr-psychosphere]

किस बात का बोझ लिए हुए

by Dakshita Sabharwal औज़ार और ढेर सारा प्यार , October 2017

किस बात का बोझ लिए हुए तुम घूम रही हो इस भारी बस्ते के साथ क्यों ऐसे झूम रही हो?

दर्द किस बात का तुम छिपाए हुए हो? फ़र्ज़ किन लोगो का तुम निभा रही हो ?

किस काम की थकावट से तुम अब तक झुकी हुई हो? अकेलेपन की साँझ में तुम क्या उम्मीदें लगाई बैठी हो?

पुरानी हार को लेकर तुम अबतक रूठी हो? आसू पोंछ तुम अब भी आहें भर रही हो?

अपने डर से जीत पाकर तुम आज भी सहमी हो तालियो की गूँज में तुम आज भी लड़खड़ा रही हो...

[lsr-psychosphere]

Once Upon a Time

I think I saw a beautiful sky it was blue and pink and yellow with cotton candy clouds and my heart ached because the beautiful sky will be gone with the sun And it will leave a well inside the hole that already exists in a heart that used to be mine a heart once upon a time.

- by Tejasvini Kumar Psychology Through My Lenses, October 2017

[lsr-psychosphere]

The Blue Whale Game: Dice with Death

by Aanchal Chauhan Home, October 2017

Hope turned into despair. Childhood no longer remained the most beautiful season of life.The playful cries were no longer to be heard. Why?

Is it videogames where you everyday find your child glued to or something else? But what happens when a game turns out to be a sinister threat to your child's life? One such game that has gathered attention for increasing the number of teenage suicides is "The Blue Whale Game", created by Phillip Budeikn ,a dysfunctional junkie with the agenda of cleansing the society of the people whom he claims to be "a biological waste".

But what is so alluring about the game that one is ready to inflict harm upon themselves? Is the game designed in such a manner that it brainwashes the participant to the extent that they commit suicide, or there is another unseen story?

This is a story of isolation created by the so called "well-connected technical world". The game is not a challenge but life in itself has become a big challenge. The belief is that an introvert or an underachiever is worthless, and therefore looked down upon by a society which leaves no place for mediocrity. And this kind of mentality - where depression, anxiety, and stress is a taboo and should not be spoken of - forces a mere 14-year-old child to keep his emotions pent up.It’s the society which is so judgemental about a person that makes him so vulnerable to this challenge.

In such a scenario, taking your life becomes easier than living your life.

Parents and teachers should be vigilant for signs of any drastic change in their child's behaviour. Now it’s time to eliminate taboos associated with mental illnesses and increase alertness to build a society which is open and considerate about mental health conditions.

[lsr-psychosphere]

by Vaishali Gautami Glimpse of Love, October 2017

Concept note: This painting depicts how a boy rescues a puppy from drowning in the flood water. This painting is a personification of humanity which still remains prevalent in the world today, somewhere.

[lsr-psychosphere]

The Vicious Cycle

by Kasish Ngangom Tug at my Heartstrings, October 2017

9 pm last night – News of lives lost in hurricane Irma and of the ones lost in the bomb blasts in Afghanistan.

11 am today – Group messages about a fellow Manipuri guy who went missing and later, out of the blue, announced to have been cremated by the police without even informing the family! “God forbid!” I exclaimed while the void in my stomach expanded. These present stories aren’t the only ones that have come to form a cloud of distress in my head, there were heaps and there will be heaps on top of heaps.

….killings, murders, suicides, natural deaths, deaths by calamities. Indeed, there are innumerable ways in which one can die. Funnily obvious, eh?

Was it untimely? If so, when’s the right time to die anyways? Who is to tell?

Hmph...Death is a labyrinth in itself.

But life… life as we know it, is an elixir in itself, of its own, in its own forms. Why not add some pixie dust in every life, every now and then, here and there?

Up and down. Inside and out. Left and right. Circles and infinities.

Life and Death, those they are.

All these thoughts of mine today compelled me to share a poem I wrote back in 10th standard in a poetry competition, for which I bagged the first prize. So much did I hope people got a bit of spark to live heartily each moment of our lives.

Inspired by Shakespeare’s Stages of Life, here it is –

THE VICIOUS CYCLE

"Humans..." they say, "While the Sun still shines, make hay." So each moment and each day, They strive to hike up in their best way.

Ever so innocent, infants In her lap, enjoying life's magnificence School children loudly wailing But every time a spark of ecstasy lingering.

Dilemmas cuddle them but they endure Yes teenagers, it’s too a short tenure! Funny how they can only understand them When motherhood and fatherhood endows on them.

And then comes a time wonderful When the world is ever so beautiful Oblivion do chill their spines But alas! Dear Death whispers, "Come, there's a world beyond more divine."

[lsr-psychosphere]

॥ मैं खुद से क्यों हार जाती हूँ?॥

by Divya Yadav क्रांति की तलवार विचारों की सान पर, October 2017

होड़ लगाया है मैंने बहुतों से अब तक! जीती भी हूँ कई बार! ठान लेती हूँ जब कुछ करने का, सबकी मेहनत हो जाती बेकार! दुनिया के सामने कुछ करने का जज्बा भी रखती हूँ दूसरों को पीछे छोड़ देने का दावा भी करती हूँ! जिंदगी में कुछ कर गुजरने का माद्दा भी रखती हूँ!

पर

जब बात आती है अपने आपको जीतने की खुद की कमियों से लड़ने की खुद की उम्मीदों को पूरा करने की!

तब मैं हार जाती हूँ, हर बार ऐसा क्यों?

[lsr-psychosphere]

Each day is a new beginning

by Tanya Aggarwal On a New Quest, October 2017

Each day is a new beginning,

Call it a clean state, a fresh start or a new dawn.

A world of possibilities awaits you,

Holding their breaths, until you tiptoe out,

And stamp your foot in the dew,

Leaving a trail of damp prints on the grass.

It’s all up to you.

You don’t have to be held back by past problems,

Former mistakes or old thoughts.

Let your wings of wisdom and simplicity

Take over the sky

And shed only pearls of wisdom.

It is the unknown, that you venture into,

So don’t expect a path

Full of roses.

There will be a rift between reality and utopia

That you will experience.

Take it as a challenge and step up

With confidence, honour and strength.

Stand tall, like the mighty oak tree

Let the world feel your aura.

Like a true fighter

Waging war through all your struggles.

Life on Earth truly is a gift

Every moment we must treasure

It’s the small things that we take for granted,

That become the source of our ultimate pleasure!

[lsr-psychosphere]

A letter to my body, whom I should have learnt to love long back.

by Tanishka Chawla Unsent Letters, October 2017

Standing on the weighing machine, the sigh of relief I let out when I see the number ticking down from a 65 to a 64, made me feel so at peace with myself. It gave me more joy than my favourite dish of pasta did. Made me happier than eating till my stomach was on the verge of exploding. Because when I reach a 60, maybe then I'll start accepting myself. Maybe then I'll see myself as more than someone who just occupies a lot of space. I still remember this one time my mother baked me a chocolate cake, and I tried to resist but I gobbled it up in the end. And how after that, I had to punish myself by running an extra 5 rounds, doing 10 extra push ups and skipping the next meal. I remember how while sitting at the dining table, the sound of the fork screeching on a plate felt better than the sound of my head constantly calculating the number of calories I'm just about to intake.

That day in class somebody talked about a body dysmorphic disorder, which is when you perceive and focus on certain flaws in your appearance. And I wondered if we were, as a society, so definite about the standards of beauty, that for people who fail to meet those standards, we actually had to invent a word of it - ugly. And fat is ugly. Being called 'fat' never offended me, until I learnt it's supposed to. So many young girls and boys starve themselves and go running if they exceed a certain calorie count in a day. After one point, your body doesn't burn fat but muscle, but what difference does this information make to a person for whom compulsive exercising is a routine? So many of them force their fingers down their throat, spend time around toilet bowls just in time before the calories get converted to fat. But who am I to point it out when I'm just one of those people who have been blinded by their obsession to lose weight? 

When I came home that day, I googled 'eating disorder recovery poems'. And I came across something that changed everything for me: "And I said to my body, softly - 'I want to be your friend'. It took a long breath and replied - 'I have been waiting for this my whole life'." (Nayyirah Waheed) 

When I write to you today, my body, I write to you with guilt, with grief. I send out to you a heartfelt apology. I apologize for every time I put you through extensive routines of me running on the treadmill. For doing crunches, ignoring how my stomach would have been constantly clenching in pain. I apologize to you for having been so selfish. Not respecting the life you have given to me. I apologize for having kept your favourite food from you just so that I could see my ribs poking through. But just look at your invincible strength, for having gotten through this maltreatment. Look at me, having realised that I was wrong. 

We've spent enough time living so close, laced up together and yet so farther away from being one. I have spent so long trying to turn you into something you we were never meant to be. You were meant to be happy and full, devouring your favourite cuisine. You were meant to be covered in flab enough to keep your insides warm. You were meant to be given a rest from skipping constantly till you were falling short of breath. Thank you for having been there for me. I promise to have your back and we will get through this together. You were meant to be beautiful, and you are nothing short than that.

[lsr-psychosphere]

This Means War

by Niharika Rawat Pink Freud, October 2017

As someone who runs a popular culture/psychology-hybrid blog, hilariously called Pink Freud, you can assume that I know something about both. As it happens, I indeed do (and I don’t just research a topic on Google one hour before submitting it. Nope, never happens. Not at all) and I engage in frequent discussions about it. Even when I am not, I am one of those people who will scroll to the very top of a Tumblr thread or Facebook comment feed to see what everyone has to say (or scream).

Being as I am a connoisseur of popular culture, I often follow developments in certain fandoms closely, and see how both the general public and the fans react to it. And if you are even a little aware about fandoms, you know exactly where this is going.

My very first article had been about how we fans defend our favourites to death, even when there is something problematic with them. That is natural. In the most commonsensical and psychological terms, we get attached to the things we like, and we see them as representing ourselves. So of course, we will defend them. But sometimes, we maintain this positive bias by bringing down other fandoms. And by bringing down I mean a WWE Friday Night Royal Smackdown with all that cage and ladder shit thrown it.

Yep, things get ugly.

Korean music, or K-Pop as it is called, still continues to be somewhat niche, despite the fact that its global popularity has changed the game for its country of origin and the artists it produces. Korean fans are known for their loyalty and involvement, seen in their customized fandom names, official sites, specialized merchandize and the flurry of voting-based awards that their stans win. But anyone who knows anything more than the horse dance to Gangnam Style also knows that in the small by-lanes of Tumblr threads and Korean news sources, all hell breaks lose, and things often get personal.

The YG Entertainment girl group 2NE1 broke up in 2016 after turbulent times that enveloped all members in problems and scandals. Just a few months before this disbandment, another four member girl group had debuted under the YG banner, noticeably similar in music and style to 2NE1. You can guess what happened. For the first half of 2017, the internet was full of loyal ‘blackjacks’ (2NE1 supporters) criticizing this new group Blackpink for either copying their girls, or for not being enough like them, and saying that the Blackpink girls had it easy as compared to 2NE1, which had debuted at a time Korean music was limited to Asia and in fact had a strong role in bringing it to the global stage. Many felt that the Blackpink girls were walking the easy path toiled by their elder sisters.

(pictured: Blackpink above, and 2NE1 below)

Blackpink fans retaliated in kind, and more with facts than accusations. A musical group often has little to no control over their music and concepts, and if there are similarities, it had more to do with YG using a tried-and-tested formula to gain some quick profit. But that has not stopped the comparisons, insults, and skirmishes that occasionally break out over the internet.

If all this Korean talk is perhaps too niche for you, there is a classic Western debate that you can easily indulge in – Marvel vs. DC. The establishment of the Marvel Cinematic Universe and the DC Extended Universe has brought this war into the forefront, as now even non-comic book readers can have an input. The fact that Marvel has released a string of smash hits while DC movies struggle between blockbuster status and critical reviews does not help the fight either. Hence, the Marvel fandom uses its Rotten Tomatoes scorings and box office collections, while DC calls into its defence its almost equal rankings, the fact that the critical consensus did not mean that the general public did not like the movie, and the small detail that their worst movie won an Oscar, making it more than what Marvel has. (Seriously. Suicide Squad has an Oscar.) But redemptive goddess Wonder Woman has changed the scene, and Justice League may be the tipping point that evens the scales.

But does that stop the fandoms? Nooo. Just try checking out any new trailer for an upcoming DC or Marvel movie. You will always find comments and entire conversations comparing both companies using every possible scale devised by man (and woman). And then there will be the one person saying ‘Why can I not enjoy both?’

Even I ask the same question sometimes, random commenter. And the fact is, you can. In fact, most do. It is only when they see the other thing or listen to the other thing that they make a case for their own side. And if they give inputs without considering the other side, well, that input is worth zero. I really don’t know what makes people fight for their stans and fandoms, apart from the commonsense idea I said above. Even as a BTS fan, I am not a part of the ARMY that goes marching down everywhere to wreck havoc. I understand liking your own things, but to put your time and energy into hating someone else’s likes is a concept beyond me.

But then again, I do fight everyone who says 50 Shades is a good book, so maybe I’m not that much of a level-headed fangirl after all.

[lsr-psychosphere]

Of Friendship and Love

by Tanya Dutta Platonically Speaking, September 2017

In my practical class, we are seeking the answer to a question that is as old as... gendered constructs, I think - can men and women be just friends?

We were quick to say "duh", but our teacher wasn't so convinced. We dove headfirst into research papers to prove our point and boy, our worldviews were challenged considerably. 

The one finding that's fresh in my mind still, was that when studying male-female best friendships, the researchers found that women were less satisfied with their friendships with men, than men were with their friendships with women. [Elkins, L. E., & Peterson, C. (1993). Gender differences in best friendships. Sex Roles, 29(7), 497-508.]

Then it struck me - the Friendzone exists - something I'd completely forgotten about. How can a discourse on relationships and romance be complete without a mention of the dreaded Friendzone?

The bane of every "nice guy's" existence, the Friendzone is defined by Wikipedia as: "In popular culture, the friend zone is a situation in which one member of a friendship wishes to enter into a romantic or sexual relationship, while the other does not. It is generally considered to be an undesirable situation by the rejected person."

Having defined it, I now launch my extremely scientific (read: thought up late at night or in the shower) analysis:

First off, I'd like to debunk some myths. Popular culture makes it seem like women have the upper hand at all times and the Friendzone is just us women being nasty and enjoying all the relationship perks with our poor lovesick guy friends, emotionally manipulating them, and depriving them of the ..*cough* benefits. 

News flash: Girls get Friendzoned too! Big time! Being Friendzoned isn't just about being given the cold shoulder romantically or sexually! It's no fun for anyone involved!

More often than not, it's just the classic case of becoming friends with someone, who you think is really cool; and ending up crushing on them, and after the anticipation and hesitation and the final big reveal, it turns out that they don't feel the same way. However they would prefer to preserve the one good thing you've got going on for yourselves - the friendship! 

If both parties are relatively nicer people, then let me assure you, it sucks for both of them. Maybe it sucks more for you, the person who crushed on their friend, but that doesn't negate the fact that your friend is probably having a hard time too, because they now have to proceed with caution so as to not lead you on, and they could even harbour feelings of guilt, because wouldn't it just be easier for everyone if they liked you back?

Rest assured, it is an unpleasant situation that everyone would understandably like to avoid. I wish my boundless wisdom had pointers on how to avoid it in the first place or get out of it triumphantly but I don't think the spectrum of human emotional experiences can be summed up so easily into a guiding principle that fits all. 

I do however have a thing or two to say to someone who finds themselves infatuated with a friend who’s just not interested.

Starting off with a simple but extremely important one, never forget your worth. If you go out of the way to be there for your friend/crush and they don't do the same for you, try to re-evaluate your priorities. However, if your feelings are getting out of hand, and you just can't handle it, it's absolutely fine to take some time off - I'm sure your friend will understand. Lastly, and most importantly, don't be a jerk. Don't guilt your friend into feeling like a horrible person because they don't like you back. Just like you can't fall out of love with them on will, you can't make them fall in love with you on will. That's just not how it works. 

I realise that to navigate this line between love and friendship is akin to walking on a tightrope, and you're bound to lose your balance more than once, but the experience in itself is rewarding, because hell yeah, that's a pretty rad skill to have.

[lsr-psychosphere]

Am I Disabled or Beautifully Abled?

by Chehak Gidwani The Bizarre Intricacies of the Human Mind, September 2017

Am I disabled or beautifully abled?

This question keeps reverberating in my mind.

I have been suffering from a muscular dystrophy since 18 years and now I have come to a stage where I feel nothing at all.

When people ask me the question, “Do you have any problem?” , I always answer “no”. I put on the garb of normalcy. I act like this problem has not affected me at all. But the reality is totally opposite. It has and it will. Just because I carry it off with a million-dollar smile and pretty face does not mean that it has stopped affecting me.

Eighteen years is a long time. I've forgotten what it is to feel normal. My current situation is my normal situation.

When I see other people managing everything so beautifully, when I am not able to tie my shoelaces, I wonder why I am tailored to be like this.

On second thought, it kindles in me a spark to prove to the world that my disability makes me more mature and kinder to the world.

Let’s burn brighter than the storm.

God makes me stronger and stronger as the days go by. My disability makes me unique. Maybe God does not want me to be a cliche kid waiting for miracles to happen and dreams to come true. He wants me to fight for each and every dream of mine to come true.

[lsr-psychosphere]

रात की रानी

by Dakshita Sabharwal औज़ार और ढेर सारा प्यार , September 2017

Remember those 3 am chats with your friend, those late night creative outbursts, those cravings to conquer the world? This poem is something about that, about those peaceful moments under the moonlight and the fun and animation and the feeling of fulfilment at 5:00 am with the rising of the sun.

- the poem can be found under the cut -

रात की रानी

यह कहानी है उस दिन उस सजी महफ़िल की रातों के ख़्वाबों में ढूंढी मैंने अपनी ज़िंदगी

माँ के तानों से मुक्त थी में फाइनली उन्मुक्त बाबा के खर्राटों से था मेरा एक नया रिश्ता उसकी ताल में मुझे आख़िर मिल ही गया मेरा फरिश्ता

नींद ने जैसे ही मोड़ा मुंह एक काल्पनिक दुनिया ने रिश्ता जोड़ा नीले कलम की स्याही से तराशी मैने अपने दिल की कहानी अपने ख़्वाबों अपने इरादो को दी मैने अपनी आख़िरी ज़ुबानी तात्पर्या अंत से नही बस सूरज की सवली किरण से है