*Samus is to beginning the rookies’ training for their first fight, but some people aren’t taking it as serious as they should*
Joker, whispering: Is that you, Ellen Ripley? Is this me? (chuckling)
Samus, pissed as hell: Who said that? WHO THE FUCK SAID THAT? Who’s the slimy little space pirate shit twinkle-toed cocksucker down here, who just signed his own death warrant?
Samus: Nobody, huh?! The fairy fucking godmother said it! Out-fucking-standing! I will P.T. you all until you fucking die! I’ll P.T. you until your assholes are sucking buttermilk. (proceeds to get Richter by his collar)
Samus: Was it you, you scroungy little fuck, huh?!
Richter, scared: Ma’am, no, Ma’am!
Samus: You little piece of shit! You look like a fucking worm! I’ll bet it was you!
Richter, desperate: Ma’am, no, ma’am!
Joker: Ma’am, I said it, ma’am!
(Samus releases Richter and turns to Joker with a death glare)
Samus: Well… no shit. What have we got here, a fucking comedian? Private Joker? I admire your honesty. Hell, I like you. You can come over to my ship and fuck my evil clone. (punches him in the gut, sending him to his knees)
Samus: You little scumbag! I’ve got your name! I’ve got your ass! You will not laugh! You will not cry! You will learn by the numbers and I will teach you! Now get up! Get on your feet!
(Joker painfully gets back on his feet)
Samus: You had best unfuck yourself or I will unscrew your head and shit down your neck!
Joker: Ma’am, yes, ma’am!
Samus: Private Joker why did you join my beloved Corps?
Joker: Ma’am, to fight, ma’am!
Samus: So you’re a fighter?
Samus: Then let me see your war face!
Samus: You got a war face? AAAAAAAAHH! That’s a war face, now let me see your war face!
Samus: Bullshit. You didn’t convince me. let me see your REAL war face!
Samus: You don’t scare me! Work on it!
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