Death & Rebirth pt. 2
“So let me see if I understand what you’re saying.” Nathaniel chuckled under his breath, but made sure not to move too much as his sister worked on ‘fixing’ his hair. Apparently she had seen the length of it and immediately stated he needed to either allow her to cut it off, or at the very least allow her to braid it. Being so much wiser now, he had elected the later option. “I went into the Palace of the Dead, you grew bored of waiting for me to come out, assumed everything was fine, and periodically checked back here to see if I had come out - hopefully unscathed?” He turned enough to cock an eyebrow at her, and L’telihgo ducked back behind his head, hands firmly gripping the braid she was working on.
“Listen…”
“You can’t even tell me how long I was gone. I thought you were supposed to pine after my poor soul the entire time.” He knew he was being melodramatic at this point, but Nathan was not going to pass up the opportunity to give his darling sister a hard time. “I could have been lost down there for a decade and you would have just gone about your life as if nothing had happened! Would you have told your children I existed?”
“Nathan!” Teli gave a sharp tug at his hair, and Nathan couldn’t help but start laughing at the sound of offense in her voice. “I never thought you’d go in there and come out with an attitude adjustment. I definitely would have prayed to the Twelve for a better result if I had known that was part of the deal!”
Settling back on his chair, Nathan let out a content sigh as he allowed his sister to continue her work. He gazed off across the small bar, eyes lingering on everything and yet nothing at the same time, his smile slowly slipping from his face. When he spoke again, the teasing was gone, and his words sounded empty even to himself. “You don’t want to tell me how long I was gone, do you?” She didn’t answer verbally, only her fingers kept dancing their dance in his hair. “I was gone for moons, wasn’t I?” She once again held her silence at his question, and for some time Nathan simply allowed her to work. “It felt like mere bells down there.” Teli hummed a short sound in response, before her hands stopped and she stepped around in front of him to meet his eyes.
“But you’re here now, alive and well. We should truly get you back before Ms. Ashelia thinks the worst of you - if she doesn’t already think that, truly.” Teli laughed at her own teasing words, but fell quiet when Nathan didn’t return the gesture, nor budge from his seat. “Is aught alright, Nathan?”
“There’s somewhere we need to go first, Teli.” He met her eyes, seeing the concern that crossed her face at his words. “I know you aren’t going to approve, and I know you’re going to hate it, but this has to be done.” She crossed her arms at his words and looked away, a look that Nathan knew meant she expected his words. “Teli, I have to go see L’mahji.”
~~~~~
Nathan had expected his sister to accompany him a fair distance towards their birth tribe, but he hadn’t expected her to follow all the way there. Perhaps she was more curious to see what would happen, or perhaps she wasn’t as confident that he would come out unharmed as he was. Truth be told, Nathan wasn’t convinced he’d come out unharmed either, but he knew that he had to go. He had said it then and he would say it again, he was done running. From his past, from his present, from his future.
Kneeling down to run his hand through the sands of Thanalan, Nathan basked in the feeling of warmth that flowed between his fingers. Closing his eyes, it was almost as if he could see the trails the wind left behind as it raced between cliffs, rocks, and sand dunes alike. Taking a breath, he let the remaining sand slip from his hand before getting back to his feet, sparing a glance at his sister. "You don't have to go with me, you know. I won't take it personally if you'd rather wait here."
"No, I want to go with you." Her voice and words were stubborn, and Nathan knew he'd never convince her to stay behind, so he simply started walking once more. Truth be told, he felt a bit more confident with her there; an odd feeling to have someone on his side when he was returning here.
Though the tribe was nomadic in a sense, they never roamed far from the sands of Thanalan, and locating them took only until midday. Swallowing the desire to turn his back and flee as he had done time and time again, Nathan shook his hands idly at his sides before forcing his feet to move towards the camp. Perhaps if he focused on a point on the horizon, he could enter the camp without a second thought. If he could tune out everything around him, perhaps it would still the fluttering of his heart in his chest that threatened to overwhelm him with each step that brought him closer to the camp. Then again, as he saw a miqo’te rise to their feet where they were sitting at the campfire and turn towards Nathan, he knew the fear he felt was real as his feet betrayed him, stilling in their voyage.
“L’tehz,” he didn’t need to be able to make out the features of the miqo’te that gestured in welcome to him and Teli, Nathan would never forget his voice, “I see you’ve come home to me.” Not to us, Nathan thought dryly, not to the tribe, not to family, but to him. Was he truly this delusional?
“L’mahji.” It was the only word Nathan spoke, but he felt his resolve steel as the word came out of his mouth without faltering, without pain, without trembling. He would never allow him to use his fear against him again. There were more members of the tribe starting to ease out of their tents and huts now, curious eyes glancing from their Nunh to Nathan and back. There was a quiet mumbling of curious words on the air; how long had it been since he had been back? Perhaps before he stepped into the Palace of the Dead, Nathan might have known that answer. Now he found himself grasping for anything that might have told him the passage of time.
“To what do I owe this pleasure?” The last word rolled off his tongue in such a way that anyone else would have heard only a delighted emphasis, but Nathan knew it held so much more. A promise for tomorrow, of pain, of fear, of obsession.
“I’ve come to challenge you.” His words travelled easily across the sand, a harsh silence falling over the camp before him. Out of the corner of his eye, Nathan could see Teli staring at him incredulously. He should have warned her, but he knew she would have stopped him, begged him to reconsider. Perhaps it was brash, but he needed to do this.
L’mahji laughed, and it was still such a delightful sound. It threatened to wrap Nathan’s heart in sorrow, threatened to undo everything he planned out, if only to hear that sound from his old friend once more. Closing his eyes, Nathan took a deep breath and centered himself. The old L’mahji was gone, he had to remember this. Before him stood nothing by the embodiment of obsession and manipulation, dressed in a very beautiful, heart wrenching package. “You?” L’mahji placed a hand on top of his head as he stared at Nathan, his face a mixture of amusement and bafflement. “You who wouldn’t even harm an insect when we were growing up? You, who spent your days in the fields and refused to touch a blade for half his life? You want to challenge me?” There was a snide smirk on L’mahji’s face, but Nathan knew exactly how to wipe it off.
“I’ve beaten you before, and I’ll do it this time with witnesses.” He heard Teli make a small, startled sound beside him, and Nathan heard the sound of faint murmurs on the wind once more as the tribe took in his words. L’mahji’s eyes darkened, his smirk turning closer to a sneer.
“Even if that were the case,” of course he would deny it before the tribe, “what do you want with the tribe? You haven’t been part of the tribe since you were what, eighteen?”
“I don’t want the tribe.” Nathan was pleased that he was able to witness a moment of shock cross L’mahji’s face before he continued, “I’m fighting for myself, for my own freedom. When I win, I want you to leave me alone, to live my life as I choose it, where I choose it, forever.”
L’mahji took several slow steps towards him, as if calculating the risk in his head as he eyes Nathan. He finally stopped a few feet from him, his voice dropping as he spoke. “And when I win, you will beg me for a place within the tribe once more, and you will never leave my side again.”
Staring into the hazel eyes he had loved so much as a child and come to fear as an adult, Nathan felt the first tendril of fear creeping up the back of his throat. Could he do it? Staring into L’mahji’s eyes that held so much promise of misery and hurt, the first beginnings of doubt started to cloud his vision. If he couldn’t do it, he wouldn’t be able to live like this. He wouldn’t be able to return to the tribe, to that life. He refused to be owned as he had once been. Closing his eyes, Nathan breathed in the scent of the desert, of the warm heat that rose from the sand and embraced him as it always had. When he opened his eyes again, he found the hazel eyes before him to be only that: eyes.
“Deal.”
~~~~~
Teli had stated her disdain for his choices, but had given him a kiss on the cheek and promised to leave Thanalan with him once he won, and that was all the encouragement Nathan needed to know she approved. “Just remember to listen, please.” Teli held his staff out to him, and Nathan accepted it with a smile. “Feel Them beneath you, around you, everywhere. They want your freedom just as much as you do.” Her words were quiet, barely above a whisper, and Nathan knew she feared their tribe almost as much as he did. The tribe had come out to witness the fight, including their elder sister, but Nathan knew that L’cidjaa had her own appearances to keep up, tangled in L’mahji’s web as she was. Maybe one day in the future they could come back for her, but Nathan knew she would hate for anyone but herself to fight for her freedom - she was almost more stubborn than Nathan was himself. Almost.
“Well, at least you brought a weapon with you this time!” L’mahji laughed where he was standing with a couple other tribe members that Nathan couldn’t be bothered to remember. They laughed when their Nunh laughed, a sound that Nathan could only hear as forced. Stepping away from Teli, Nathan crossed the line drawn in the desert sand that dictated their arena. He knew the line would be gone before they ever fought, whisked away by the wind to be forgotten, but it didn’t matter. He stood across the mock arena, staff held loosely in his hand, eyes watching only L’mahji as he stepped over the line on his end. “Until one of us yields, then.” He cracked his knuckles, fists wrapped in leather. Nathan had watched him lace it on and knew beneath the layers were plates of steel. One false step, one carefully aimed blow, and he’d be out cold. Nathan couldn’t let that happen.
He didn't dare close his eyes, knowing L'mahji would take full advantage the moment he did. They paced the edge of the dirt arena, movements mirroring each other, each waiting for the other to make the first move. L'mahji reached a hand out, fingers beckoning towards Nathan. "Not so tough now, are you?" He grinned, bouncing idly from one foot back to the other. "Come on, Tehz. Show me what you can do."
Nathan clutched his staff, feeling the warmth of the wood beneath his hands, letting the feeling ground him to the here and now. He didn't need to close his eyes for this, he merely felt the flow of energy through the staff and through his hand. L’mahji rushed him, fist going for a blow to Nathan’s face. He easily sidestepped the shot, shoving his staff at L’mahji and shoving the force of nature at him at the same time. The gust of wind was enough to stagger L’mahji back a few steps, but the Nunh only smiled as he regained his footing. “Blowing me out of the arena isn’t going to win you this fight, love.” He rushed Nathan again, this time prepared for him to dodge, a second fist rounding towards Nathan’s ribs as he dodged the blow to the head. Nathan just barely managed to flick the staff around in time, catching L’mahji’s wrist with the lower end of the staff and sending him reeling away from him. L’mahji laughed as he danced a couple steps away from Nathan, his eyes lit with an emotion Nathan could only describe as pride. “You’re so predictable, Tehz. Even after all these years.” He turned to face Nathan fully now, crouching into a stance Nathan knew meant he would strike again soon. “All you do is dodge and run. You can’t win this fight by merely dodging!” L’mahji practically screamed the last sentence at him, anger filling his eyes as he rushed Nathan once more.
Staring into those eyes, seeing the anger, the animosity, the rage and envy that were buried behind them, Nathan felt himself freeze. His legs locked up, refused to move, and at what was likely the last possible second, he managed to spin the staff to try and deflect L’mahji’s fist as he had done previously. This time though the move was a second too late, and Nathan watched in horror as L’mahji’s fist connected directly with the staff in front of him, metal plate beneath leather ripping through wood in a sound Nathan could only describe as the end, as finality.
The second blow came from the side, connecting with Nathan’s temple, making his world go black. He felt himself hit the ground, could feel his fingers release the broken pieces of his staff before hitting the dirt beneath him. There was a sharp sound of ringing in the air, but beyond that he could almost swear he heard someone screaming. Nathan tried to get to his feet but felt the world give out under him, felt his face hit the sand before he could stop it. Gods, what had he done? What had he gotten himself into? He felt something twist into his hair, and he was dimly aware it was fingers on a hand before it was pulling him upwards, dragging him to his feet. “Say it,” he heard the hiss of L’mahji’s voice in his ear, despite his eyes still struggling to focus on the face so precariously close to his, “tell them you yield or I will drag this out so painfully you’d wish we were fighting to the death.” L’mahji gave his head a shake, and Nathan reached out with shaking hands to shove him away. The other miqo’te let go of his hair, easily taking a few steps back and stretching his arms to either side. “Come then, show me what you can do without your useless Elementals. Or are you going to try and run away again?”
Nathan closed his eyes, trying not to fall once more. This wouldn’t be the end, couldn’t be the end. He was dimly aware of the taste of copper in his mouth, of the feeling of something thicker than water running down the side of his head. He glanced to the side of the arena where L’cidjaa was holding Teli, preventing her from running to him. Tears covered both their faces, and over the roar of blood rushing through his ears and the ringing that refused to soften, Nathan couldn’t make out what Teli was yelling at him, but he could read the words on her lips as clear as if it were the only way he’d ever learned to communicate.
Listen! Listen to Them!
He turned back towards L’mahji, back to the shit eating grin that stood gloating across the arena from him as if he had already won. Nathan touched the side of his head, pulling his fingers back to carefully examine the blood that came away with them. Closing his eyes once more, Nathan knew his sister was right. Even without the staff, he could feel Them beneath his feet. They whispered in the gusts of wind that raced across the desert, They called to him from every plant that forced its way to life above the sand. Nathan touched a hand gently to the pocket where he kept his pressed trillium and he knew he would accept nothing less than his freedom, but more importantly, neither would They. They called to him from the depths of the forest, beneath the crash of the waves of the sea; from every vine that twisted and climbed its way towards the sun, from every creature that scurried across the ground or raced through the sky, Nathan felt Them. He felt Them, and not only did he call to Them, but he listened.
Protect.
Nathan could see in the way L’mahji’s face changed that he could feel the shift as well. They tore the mask of arrogance off his face, leaving the Nunh scared and somehow even vulnerable. He seemed to steel his resolve at the last moment, and realizing he had limited time to finish the fight, L’mahji moved to rush Nathan once more.
Our Protector, We Protect.
The world spun to a slow haze of movement as Nathan reached one hand out towards L’mahji, the other reaching to grab the hatchet he always had at his waist. His eyes locked with hazel across the desert sand, and something in them make L’mahji second guess himself, his feet struggling to stop and backtrack, but finding little traction in the sand. Nathan raised the hatchet, letting out a scream as he slammed the curved blade into the ground, splintering the earth in front of him and parting it like the sea. Dirt and dust filled the air as a cacophonous roar shattered the silence, and Nathan closed his eyes against it all, focusing instead on the feeling of the warmth as it seemed to cover him, embrace him, wrap him in Their safety.
My child. He heard his father’s voice amongst them, a distant sound that melted into the others, but a sound that was there nonetheless. He breathed deeply, and Nathan could almost swear he smelled the Shroud beneath the settling dust of the desert.
“I- I yield!” L’mahji’s voice cracked in the distance, trembling with the words he fought to spit out. Nathan raised his head as he slowly stood to his feet, as he slowly walked towards the voice in the cloudy haze of dust. “L’tehz, call it off!” For what felt like forever, Nathan merely stood in front of the voice, allowing the air to clear as he held his hatchet loosely at his side. He heard the voices start murmuring around him as their eyes started to take in the sight, and Nathan did his best not to react, not to look away from the startled hazel eyes that stared down at him.
Before him stood a tree, and while it was no great beast, its branches twisted around L’mahji, holding the Nunh as if in a lover’s embrace against its trunk. Despite how much he squirmed or tried to pull away, he found no relief, no escape. Raising his hatchet, Nathan tapped the tip of the blade to L’mahji’s chin, stilling any continued movement. “L’tehz is dead. My name is Nathaniel Rhys, and you will address me by such as you yield to me and grant me my freedom. Is that understood?” His voice was calmer than he felt as Nathan stared into L’mahji’s eyes, as he watched the color drain from his face as the realization settled in that he, L’mahji, had finally lost.
“I yield,” the words were choked out, but there was no venom in them, “I yield to Nathaniel Rhys.”
Nathan lowered his hatchet, reaching back to hook it onto his belt before pressing his free hand to the branches of the tree twisted around L’mahji’s body. “Thank you.” He whispered the words not to his old friend, ex lover, captor, but to the tree that had fought so valiantly for him. His fingers shone white with a haze of light before the branches very carefully, delicately unwound themselves, releasing L’mahji to the ground. As Nathan stepped back, several members of the tribe came forward, carefully helping their Nunh to his feet and back towards the camp. The area slowly emptied out, and Nathan watched as each of them passed him, a look in their eyes of equal parts wonder, fear, and respect.
“Nathan.” Teli’s voice was soft from where she called out behind him, and Nathan took a shaky breath before turning around to meet her eyes. Yet it wasn’t her eyes that made him freeze, and Nathan felt his hands start to shake as he stared at the ground, at the roots of the tree that spread out through the desert floor. Nestled between the roots, as if they had always been there, blowing carefully in the gentle breeze, Nathan stared at the small field of trilliums. His sister stood on the outside of the small plot of flowers, hands clasped in front of her body as she watched him take everything in.
“Did I..?”
“We should start our trip; we’ll have time to talk as we walk.” Teli smiled, and Nathan knew she wanted him out of ear shot from the tribe before they spoke about what had happened. They didn’t need to know that he had no clue what he had done or how he had been able to do it. All he knew was that had needed Their protection, and They were here for him.
Carefully stepping through the field of flowers, Nathan smiled at his sister before taking her hand in his. “I have to get home soon. Ashelia will be most displeased with my tardiness, I fear.” Teli laughed at his words, at his smile, at his cheerful attitude, and Nathan couldn’t help but think it was the most beautiful sound he’d ever heard. Leaning over, Nathan pressed a kiss to the top of her head, breathing in the familiar scent of the forest that always surrounded her. "No more running, ever again."
