LETTERS TO THE FUTURE @ltrsfuture-blog - Tumblr Blog

A Letter on Anger

To my dearest future spawn,

Let me be the first to tell you -- IT IS OKAY TO GET ANGRY. It doesn’t mean you have a character flaw. It doesn’t mean you haven’t reached a higher plane of humanity. It means that you are a human with emotions that you are processing and that is totally fine.

Your dear old mom over here actually believed she was never angry, but quick to annoyance. While that’s true, it’s because I didn’t allow myself anger. I didn’t allow myself piping hot, seething rage. I didn’t allow myself to feel it. I didn’t allow myself to let it go. I have held anger in for years only to have it come out as undue road rage or not-so-carefully concealed grudges.

But I am learning to give in and to let me emotions draw me out and it is okay to feel. IT IS OKAY TO FEEL.

Love, Me

A Letter on Asking for Help

To my dearest future spawn,

I will tell you now that today I have made a choice to finally buckle down and take care of myself. I have done so many diets, had so many lifestyle changes, read the blogs, kept the quotes.

But I never looked for help.

I asked for one-off advice and hand to hold for a day, but I never went out and wanted something concrete. True, all I did was finally schedule a doctor’s appointment, but this is where it starts.

You must know that help is always there when you need it. You only have to reach out. Doing the best we can for ourselves sometimes means letting go. It means recognizing our limitations. It means allowing yourself to be taken by the waves and just allowing yourself to float.

Love, Me

P.S. Your mom is doing her best so that you will have her best.

A Letter on Taking Your Time

To my dearest future spawn,

It is okay if you don’t feel okay. There will be days when your heart is a little heavy and doors that were supposed to remain shut creak open. There will be days when you have a silent sigh at the end of every sentence and a mind full of wandering thoughts. There will be days when rain will pour into your empty spaces.

All of that pain is okay. Let it in and then let it go.

There is no rush to happiness. There are no shortcuts to feeling whole. There are just pathways your heart and mind have to take. So walk down it, amble around if you want, but keep moving forward. And when it hurts you’re allowed to stop and rest. You’re allowed to ask for help when you feel you can no longer move. You’re allowed to make mistakes because no one does anything perfectly the first time.

When you feel your heart is too heavy, you can hold it in your hands and tell it, “You’re doing the best you can.”

Love, Me

P.S. Take every step with love.

A Letter on the Eminent Future

To my dearest future spawn,

Life is a series of question and answer. Starting with the relatively mundane like, “What type of gummy snack should I ask mom to buy?” and suddenly escalating to, “What is a 401K? How does credit work exactly? Am I supposed to know how to change my own tires?”

And so, as a warning to you, poopsicle, questions about your future, while well-meant, can never be answered fully or accurately or even satisfactorily. Not all of the questions that you throw out into the void will be answered in kind. Sometimes you whisper into the well of the universe and all you receive in return is an echo,

Life is practically designed this way. It throws us into forward motion, so we are perpetually being pulled into the present -- leaving the past behind and almost grasping the future. Whether it’s at the neighboring room or waving from an opposite shore, the future will never be right beside you. You will always be facing forward into the unknown.

But (and this is a huge “but”) don’t ever let that intimidate you. If there’s one reliable thing about the future is that it is uncertain. Don’t waste your time trying to decode it. Don’t try to fit the vast future into a narrow path. Don’t look into it’s ether and be afraid.

Instead, tackle the future with your ambitions, with a flexible game plan, and with an equal mix of hopefulness and pragmatism. Be comfortable with being uncomfortable. Look towards it with the thought of, “Yeah, I don’t know what’s in there, but like hell I’ll turn my back from it.”

The future will always be there. There is no running from it, only towards. You might as well do it with a smile on your face.

Sincerely,

Me.

P.S. The gummy snack you should choose should always be gummy sharks.

A Letter on Making Your Bed

To my dearest future spawn,

There will be a day when you won’t want to get up. You’ll stay in bed and hope that, for just one day, the world can turn its back so you can keep on resting. And perhaps that day will turn into days that will turn into months that will turn into years that turn into your whole life.

Honestly, It is a scary thing to drown in our sorrows. I’ve waded neck deep in it, feeling the tides lap against my chin and the current sweeping me away. It is terrifying because solid ground seems impossible to find. The distinct possibility that you will float far away from shore.

But you have to remember that all things pass.

This seems so trite in the midst of it all, doesn’t it? It is hard to believe that this heaviness will go away when you’ve probably carried it for so long. All advice in the middle of our suffering always sounds cliche and practically unbearable, but there is some ancient wisdom imbued in those obnoxious phrases.

Life continues to move despite us knowing and the best we can do is to move with it. Ultimately, it is our choice whether we move closer or farther away from what we need from life. Everyday you have to make the decision to be happy and see the world from beyond your fears.

Everyday you have to wake up and make your bed so you don’t climb back inside.

Everyday look at your reflection and know that you are worth it.

Everyday know that each day is an opportunity to change.

And know that at the end of everyday there will always be someone who loves you. You for you and not for anything else.

Sincerely,

Me.

A Letter on Sucking it Up

To my dearest future spawn,

You should know this: your mother here has an incredibly hard time sucking it up. And, if in the future they don't have this particular phrase, you can basically say that I have a difficult time simply accepting things. Especially when my oh so fragile ego is incited. I become very flustered and defensive. Convincing myself more than anyone else that what I did/am doing isn't bad at all or that another person is simply overreacting, but in hindsight I am indeed a jackass.

I am convinced that in the future social media will become even more rampant and pervasive than it is now. Therefore there will be more avenues to have your ass handed to you and you actually deserving it (if you so choose to live a digital life, that is). So please remember that if your ass is, in fact, handed to you on a silver platter and garnished to perfection whether in real life or online, you have to suck it up.

I am not telling you to simply accept what they said as fact. I am not even telling you to not be even a little bit hurt by it because blows to our ego are bound to be painful. What I am politely asking you to do is to consider for a moment what this person is saying. Don't let your pride get in the way of serious character building and life changing experiences.

One of the worst things we can do as humans is assume that we know everything and disregard someone's intellect, feelings, perceptions, etc. The world is vast and you and every other person are made of the things that the universe is built of. How could you not consider someone else's opinions on the matter? Let it in and then let it go, but if something they said resonated with you, woke you up, made you scratch your head in curiosity then follow that lead. Be inquisitive and be thoughtful.

However, there will be times when people just say things that are plain wrong. Things that go against the humanity in other people, things that hurt others, those things that I told you were just straight up terrible. That's when it's your turn to speak up and their turn to suck it up. It's all give and take, my dear. Just choose your battles wisely.

To make it plain, my spawn, listen to others even when it hurts your pride. Let it roll around in your brain for a while and be critical of yourself. At the end of it, you'll find that sometimes they are right.

Love,

Me.

P.S.

Brush your teeth every night. Dentist appointments will always be a pain!

A Letter on True Forgiveness

To my dearest future spawn,

Forgiveness does not occur the moment you say, "It's okay. It's fine. Don't worry about it. I forgive you." Forgiveness does not occur in a certain time frame. There is no guideline or protocol on how to forgive. There is no nothing, Jon Snow. There is only you and your pride. Yes, there is pain. Certainly there will be pain, but it is up to you for how long you will be hurt. It is up to you how long you'll carry that seed of bitterness that was planted in your belly and is now becoming it's own child of anger and bitterness.

When we forgive, we do not do it in a phrase. We do our best to accept the flaws of human nature, the pain that was inflicted upon us, and those who have wronged us. It is actual work. It is not easy to believe in the best in somebody when they've given you their worst. It is a terrible task to let go of anger and hurt when revenge is so sweet.

But, my dearest poopsicle, pain begets pain begets pain. Life is an endless cycle of hurt until we decide that we'll take no more of it. Our egos could not take the blow, our hearts could not handle the pain, our souls are now irreversibly damaged. And yet we cannot dwell in that. If we do, we carry that pain for the rest of our lives. Forgiveness is never about the other person. It is about you and how you will live with what they did to hurt you.

And the only way to keep living is to keep moving. Holding onto hurt is like holding on to your ticket to, let's say, Paris, but never actually boarding the plane to somewhere new and amazing and exciting. You'll be so preoccupied with the stupid ticket that you'll never know what you've been missing.

Accept what has happened and let go. Maybe that way you'll be able to go to Paris.

Sincerely,

Me.

P.S. Take me with you to Paris.

A Letter on Finally Making Peace

To my dearest future spawn,

You will feel free once you finally give them back the baggage you've been carrying for them. Trust me. All of it is worth it. You dear old mother here could practically be a professional camel (terrible metaphor brought to you by Lack of Sleep) for all of the feelings I carry for people far after they are useful.

But just let go, make peace, and live. You'll be better off for it.

Sincerely, Me.

A Letter on Saying The Hard Thing

To my dearest future spawn,

One day there will come a day when you will feel like you have to rip the words out of your mouth in order to say what is important when all you really want to do is swallow them and hide. You see, saying the right thing is always the best course of action, but it almost always the hard thing. Perhaps even the hardest thing. But you have to do it for yourself, for your friends, for your family. Hell, for everyone. Even when it seems like it will solve nothing.

Words unspoken are like weights. Every syllable, every nuance, every damn feeling behind them left unsaid ties itself around your ankles and pulls your further into the deep. I feel that burden now. Its almost too much. It has been clawing at the insides of my skull for a long time now, but the words I needed would always slip away to the next room as soon as I entered.

So please remember to always say what you need to say. Don't let time run off before you can catch it.

Sincerely, Me.

A Letter On Liquid Courage

To my dearest future spawn,

If there's anything you should know, you should know that at 21 years old your mother dear is a total and complete lightweight in regards to alcohol. As in, screaming and flaming drunk within a couple of shots kind of lightweight. But, to my benefit, I don't do many shots of anything.

If there's anything I have a bone to pick with myself it would be my perpetuating awkwardness. It is carved deep into my bone and it doesn't seem to erode over time. I'm the Grand Canyon of awkward and my whole body has been shaped by the sands of time (and the awkward moments it presents). What I hope for you is that you are comfortable in your skin unlike your mother here. I hope that you know that you are a person worth knowing and that whatever strange ideas come out of your mouth are as valid as any small talk conversations ("what course are you in?" "where are you from?" "where did you get your shirt?"). And, even if you don't have any strange ideas and you're particularly adept as witty banter, you are still a person worth knowing and you are you. And being yourself is the best that anyone can get. Really, its true.

You are beautiful and unique and whatever else that Young Adult books tell you you should be. Because it is true. Because every human being is uniquely beautiful and utterly fascinating. By exploring the depths of another person you discover your own. Do not depend on alcohol to reveal yourself and be proud of who you are with or without it.

I cannot deny that it does help. It eases the tension, lowers inhibitions, and turns 5s into 10s (regrettably or not). But what it doesn't do is help you to love yourself when you're sober. It doesn't carry you through the rest of the day when your mind has been lifted away from the hazy fog of cheap rum and lemon green tea chaser. It doesn't reveal to you who you are because who you should know who you are even before the liquid courage melts into your veins and diffuses through your system.

Liquid courage is what it is, but real courage is what's important. Remember that always.

Sincerely, Me

P.S. I was totally drunk or tipsy when I wrote this. I decided to post this because one day you might relate. Or not. Either way we'll cross the generational gap through alcohol!

#letter #future spawn #letters to the future

A Letter on Desperation (Born of Loneliness)

My dearest future spawn,

My dear, really, do not run for the people who wouldn't dare walk for you. Do not blush at the first mention of You and Are and Beautiful. Do not settle for anything or anyone less than what you deserve. I have learned this the hard way. Maybe even the hardest way.

If you find yourself in a new place with new people and a new life than the one you had previously, do not hide in other people. You will not find yourself in their bad habits or their so-called mysticism. You will not find comfort in those hazes of smoke and trailed off sentences. You will not find yourself in the midst of a crowd of people who are too busy looking for themselves. Instead you will unravel who you really are in order to be only a thread in the tapestry of their lives. You will find bitter disappointment and failed expectations. You will disappear and might never come back the same.

Take comfort in knowing that you have been you all along and that no one else's existence excuses you from being you, whether lonely or not. And because you have been raised by me, you will be strong enough to keep your chin up. And whenever you aren't, know that I'll be there to -- if not keep your chin up-- help you save your strength for tomorrow.

Sincerely,

P.S. Eat more vegetables. They're good for you.

A Letter on Past Mistakes

My dearest future spawn,

There will come a time in your life when you will seriously consider choosing the red pill over the blue pill (and there will also be times in your life when your mom chooses to quote science fiction movies from the far off decade of 1990). You will take the road less travelled without realizing that it is less travelled for a reason. You will choose the whole cow's milk over the soy despite being lactose intolerant.You will accidentally order 10 large pepperoni pizzas. You will choose the boy/girl who will treat you like a future ex-girlfriend/ex-boyfriend.

You will make mistakes.

I am not divining the future, but I am stating the simple fact of life: we all make mistakes. Sure, it sounds like a fabulous excuse to do really idiotic things, but, since I assume you're old enough to comprehend this, it is an integral part of life. And now that we've all gotten to this point in understanding that yes, we all make mistakes, we are now at the point of no return.

That is, no returning to commit the same mistake.

Or at least not to relive it over and over again and letting the bitterness flow through your veins and kill you slowly from inside out. Not to be dramatic, of course.

Let your past mistakes be your past decisions. Decisions you've finally learned from. Take a breath and remember that you've learned now and you love better.

You are not your mistakes.

One bad decision, or even a series of bad decisions, does not change that you are you. And "you" is a person who is learning how the world works. You is a person who knows pain and regret and silences that cut to the bone. You is a person who will fall, but keep trying because there are better things out there for you that this.

There are better things for you. Just don't bury yourself so deep in shame and regret that you'll miss them.

Love, Me P.S. Never leave your socks in random cabinets. I did it as a child and I swear to you that its not advisable.

#Past Mistakes #letters

And so I figured

That this is 2014 and that I'm not young forever (as much as my face would like to contradict that fact these old bones are feeling the metabolism going away). And that one day I'd like to tell my future spawn how to navigate through this life. However, I can't very well do that when I'm old and gray and I can't remember what even happened when I was 21 years old. Frankly, I have piss poor memory and I can't remember what I even did last week completely.

This insignificant corner of the internet has now been born, full of letters to the future that I hope will be useful one day.

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LETTERS TO THE FUTURE