thanatos

Kaine, twentysomething, INFJ, existentialist, pansexual internet prince with an obsession for videogames, literature, poetry and the stars. Aquarius. I am an introverted gamer who abandoned all their friends from school because I was too afraid to go outside and face the world. I was afraid of people and I still am. I fall in love with people’s passions. The way their eyes light up when they talk about the thing they love and the way they fill with light.

[clearpills]

[clearpills]

the shape of me

[flowerytale]

Florence and The Machine, from 100 Years Mary Oliver, from Sleeping In The Forest

Vincent Van Gogh, The Sower (detail)

[importantpics]

[scribeherself]

the art of making it matter

light a candle when you work. put on lipstick for the grocery store. play that song that makes you feel like you're in a coming-of-age montage. take the long way home. write love letters to no one. read poetry out loud to your plants. the secret isn't that life is inherently romantic—it's that you can MAKE it romantic by paying attention, by adding ceremony to the mundane, by refusing to let a single ordinary day pass unloved.

[andreativej]

day 11 of 365

I bury you in the morning just to dig you up at night. Grief wins by waiting and my tired bones can give no more. I hear you where you are not. Nothing arrives without you first.

— andrea tivej, daily entries

[broken-hearted-lovers]

the aftermath of love and loss

[creatingnikki]

It strikes me as crazy that one day you’re just supposed to stop loving someone. You’re supposed to stop talking to them. You’re supposed to stop waking up and video calling them. You’re supposed to never hear them laugh or make them laugh again. It strikes me as crazy that you’re supposed to stop thinking about them when you hear their favourite artist or eat their favourite dessert. How you’re supposed to be okay never hearing your name from their mouth again. Tell me, how do people survive it? Tell me, why aren’t people more stubborn in refusing to let go of someone they hold so close to their chest night after night, morning after morning. Tell me, how am I supposed to just move on as if we are strangers again, as if I never knew what it felt like when you kissed my face? When you held my hand? When you cared about my existence? How do I do that? I’m good at pretending… you have to pretend if you want to survive. I didn’t want yet another pretence of indifference towards a human I held to tenderly.

[shesmanic]

i love listening to mitski and crying

[ai-dream]

[symfoni-a]

[pink-heart-writes]

[heavensghost]

forgetting

[becherdireinen]

„Grief, l've learned, is really just love. It's all the love you want to give, but cannot. All that unspent love gathers up in the corners of your eyes, the lump in your throat, and in that hollow part of your chest. Grief is just love with no place to go.“

[shesmanic]

i love listening to mitski and crying

[missinyouiskillingme]

I hope you find someone you can’t live without. I really do. And I hope you never have to know what it’s like to have to try and live without them.

— Kiera Cass, The Selection

[mae0x]

i have to throw up emotionally