clara-christensen:
clara was a little relieved to hear that he really wasn’t there to discuss the intricacies of ex-boyfriends, party makeouts, and the girl code, especially when it was his current girlfriend that made out with her ex-boyfriend at said party. that seemed awkward just in theory, much less in practice. “so you did come for something,” clara surmised, easily abandoning that subject for the more pressing one, giving him a short inquisitive look before she turned to the fridge and grabbed the cream. she watched him with a puckered brow as he took a sip of coffee that she knew was still much too hot without even blowing on it. it suddenly occurred to her that something was really wrong, the cream tipping too far in her fingers until her own coffee was a light beige color. she stirred despite the fact that her coffee was over half milk at this point, the spoon clinking against the sides, her eyes downturned as she tried to ignore the gnawing feeling in her stomach. what could be really wrong? maybe sterling was worse off than she imagined after last night, or maybe one of their grandparents was sick, or maybe someone decided to start looking more closely at the old fires on campus after the frat party…
clara, leaning on the bar across from him, straightened slightly at the mention of how he’d wanted to ‘talk to their mom’ on halloween. while normally clara would’ve been the first to grab at anything, any remainder of her mom, she didn’t really believe that luca would reach her through whatever magic he or his friends could get his hands on. they had a dead mom that they never got to know and nearly everyone knew that about the christensens. that basically made them easy targets for anyone who had any way to convince them that their wishful thinking was true. inevitably, luca would’ve heard her tell him that she loved him and she forgave him and that he was so strong or something for having grown up the way he did, because that’s all he’d ever wanted to hear. and then he’d convince himself that it was really her. in her opinion, even if they could reach her, they needed to leave their mother at rest. especially him. at that was what she’d told him when he’d first brought it up and then stupidly, he’d gone and done it anyways. “you did?” she echoed, incredulousness seeping into her voice. “what, through, like, a spirit board or hypnosis or something? what did she say?”
was it odd that he could already tell she didn’t believe him? the lines of her body as she shifted and formulated whatever she was going to say. stupid Luca who was always so quietly desperate to meet their mother even if the only memories he knew for most of his life came from his sister, standing there. most of which he knew were said to be hurtful. it had been successful of course. it had hurt. still did. even with that desperation, he wasn’t without any knowledge of magic. hanging out with Aurèlie had its perks. hidden books in their apartment she didn’t mind if he read as long as they were the safe ones. he knew enough to be careful so he offered a humorless scoff at her question and shook his head. “more like magic.” he didn’t offer any more of an explanation. it wasn’t his to talk about but he was thankful. more thankful than he could ever describe. no matter where his mind had gone afterward.
“she said she loved you.” he began with because she had. she had looked at him with eyes he had only seen in pictures and told him that she loved his sister. that she loved him. even if it had been a fever dream it would be enough for him. but despite his hate for his father, Luca had never thought, his guilt too strong from childhood. gripping his mug tightly he took another hot sip, tapping his tongue at the roof of his mouth when it burned. every moment he tried to speak the rest of his words died on his tongue. she smelled like Clara always said but it was a ghost of the smell. hidden beneath soil and cold stone. even dead she looked as beautiful as he always thought she would. his fingers tapped and traced on the edge of his mug. “she was beautiful.” finally broke free as he looked at his cup before finally forcing his eyes to look at Clara again. “she said some other things too.” he didn’t know why he couldn’t just fucking say it. fucking tell her he was a piece of shit. that their mother. their mother told him Hans had killed her. but not just her... just like the other rang through his head. “about Hans.”












