; a rampage

Luca Christensen | The Cataclysmic | Son of Prince Hans                  naught but ash

[lucachristensen]

clara-christensen‌:

clara was a little relieved to hear that he really wasn’t there to discuss the intricacies of ex-boyfriends, party makeouts, and the girl code, especially when it was his current girlfriend that made out with her ex-boyfriend at said party. that seemed awkward just in theory, much less in practice. “so you did come for something,” clara surmised, easily abandoning that subject for the more pressing one, giving him a short inquisitive look before she turned to the fridge and grabbed the cream. she watched him with a puckered brow as he took a sip of coffee that she knew was still much too hot without even blowing on it. it suddenly occurred to her that something was really wrong, the cream tipping too far in her fingers until her own coffee was a light beige color. she stirred despite the fact that her coffee was over half milk at this point, the spoon clinking against the sides,  her eyes downturned as she tried to ignore the gnawing feeling in her stomach. what could be really wrong? maybe sterling was worse off than she imagined after last night, or maybe one of their grandparents was sick, or maybe someone decided to start looking more closely at the old fires on campus after the frat party…

clara, leaning on the bar across from him, straightened slightly at the mention of how he’d wanted to ‘talk to their mom’ on halloween. while normally clara would’ve been the first to grab at anything, any remainder of her mom, she didn’t really believe that luca would reach her through whatever magic he or his friends could get his hands on. they had a dead mom that they never got to know and nearly everyone knew that about the christensens. that basically made them easy targets for anyone who had any way to convince them that their wishful thinking was true. inevitably, luca would’ve heard her tell him that she loved him and she forgave him and that he was so strong or something for having grown up the way he did, because that’s all he’d ever wanted to hear. and then he’d convince himself that it was really her. in her opinion, even if they could reach her, they needed to leave their mother at rest. especially him. at that was what she’d told him when he’d first brought it up and then stupidly, he’d gone and done it anyways. “you did?” she echoed, incredulousness seeping into her voice. “what, through, like, a spirit board or hypnosis or something? what did she say?”

was it odd that he could already tell she didn’t believe him? the lines of her body as she shifted and formulated whatever she was going to say. stupid Luca who was always so quietly desperate to meet their mother even if the only memories he knew for most of his life came from his sister, standing there. most of which he knew were said to be hurtful. it had been successful of course. it had hurt. still did. even with that desperation, he wasn’t without any knowledge of magic. hanging out with Aurèlie had its perks. hidden books in their apartment she didn’t mind if he read as long as they were the safe ones. he knew enough to be careful so he offered a humorless scoff at her question and shook his head. “more like magic.” he didn’t offer any more of an explanation. it wasn’t his to talk about but he was thankful. more thankful than he could ever describe. no matter where his mind had gone afterward. 

“she said she loved you.” he began with because she had. she had looked at him with eyes he had only seen in pictures and told him that she loved his sister. that she loved him. even if it had been a fever dream it would be enough for him. but despite his hate for his father, Luca had never thought, his guilt too strong from childhood. gripping his mug tightly he took another hot sip, tapping his tongue at the roof of his mouth when it burned. every moment he tried to speak the rest of his words died on his tongue. she smelled like Clara always said but it was a ghost of the smell. hidden beneath soil and cold stone. even dead she looked as beautiful as he always thought she would. his fingers tapped and traced on the edge of his mug. “she was beautiful.” finally broke free as he looked at his cup before finally forcing his eyes to look at Clara again. “she said some other things too.” he didn’t know why he couldn’t just fucking say it. fucking tell her he was a piece of shit. that their mother. their mother told him Hans had killed her. but not just her... just like the other rang through his head. “about Hans.” 

[lucachristensen]

nate-thana‌:

He gave a humorless chuckle as he greeted the other male, stepping back so that he could actually come inside. Nate was home alone then, Liv out taking care of things, and him needed to rest a bit more before he could really be out and about. “Yeah, well. I’ve pretty much settled that if I’m going to do anything that’s going to get me killed, you should really be there. It’s just nicer that way.” Though he had promised Liv that he wasn’t going to do that again, it was a promise Nate wasn’t really sure he would be able to keep, not if the boy needed him like that again. Still, just the thought of going back there, of letting a spirit rip through his body to get to this side again, it sent a shiver down Nate’s spine. He wasn’t afraid of the dead - he was the son of the god of the underworld after all - but there was a difference in being afraid and wanting a healthy distance between yourself and that world. 

Nate pulled back further into the apartment then, expecting Luca to follow him as he moved to sit back down on the couch. He leaned back, letting out an exhausted sigh before his face grew serious for a moment. “Really, Luca, I’m alright though. It wasn’t - it wasn’t nothing rest couldn’t take care of and I’ve been doing plenty of it. Believe me. Liv hasn’t really let me leave here, not until she’s fully looked me over and giving the clearance. Exhausting really. People here in Auradon care too much about other people, you know that?”

even if the joke was nearly forced, it had obviously been enough to receive a ghost of a chuckle. it was good enough for him. seeing Nate up and about, soothed something in him. allowed a piece of him to relax in the other isle dwellers' presence. quietly, he followed into the apartment. shutting the door behind him. his eyes traveling across the walls, noting the different things that proved it wasn’t just the son of hades living there. soft touches. “well, i am glad you’re alright.” he admitted after silence fell over him. as it tended to do. it was more comfortable in silence. “but i don’t think it is that they care too much. just that it rubs off.” was added when he moved to take a seat. his mind thinking over all of the various ways he was.. figuring more out about his own emotions. 

on the one hand, he hated it. hated how he could pick apart some of the emotions he never paid attention to. they were ghosts of what they were meant to be. hidden under wildfire of rage he had safely hidden behind. it had been safe. but it wasn’t anymore. almost like he had been hollowed out by what he had done to himself when he had only been consciously doing it to everything around him. on the other hand, maybe it made him feel more real. put something tangible in his mind that wasn’t just burning him alive. running a hand through his hair, he offered a slight smile smooth out the silence he offered again. “honestly, i just wanted to make sure you were good. see if you had a good break.”

[lucachristensen]

clara-christensen‌:

clara knew something was wrong before luca even took a single step into her apartment. maybe it was some innate ability that came with being siblings, and irish twins at that. or maybe it was just the fact that luca had texted her with a proposal to ‘hang out’, knowing that even if that was his intention, he wouldn’t have said that. the christensens didn’t usually keep things that simple. so she picked at her sweater as the coffee maker gurgled behind her, waiting for luca to arrive at the door after she’d already buzzed him in. she knew she was going to have to ask him what was wrong even before she set eyes on him, and after she’d slid the chain lock out of place and opened the door to her apartment she shared with dev, his tumultuous expression only confirmed it. “it’s christmas break,” was all she responded, giving him a questioning look at his strange politeness before walking into the kitchen. 

she poured coffee into the mug she’d painted alongside orion, and set aside a plain one for her brother’s use if he wanted to help himself to the coffee, figuring he’d not prefer one adorned with flowers. “what’s wrong with you?” she asked, not liking his change in demeanor. clara was still recovering from the ball the night before, her hair still curled and her head dully aching from all of the champagne, and she didn’t really feel like drawing luca out from within himself. out of sheer muscle memory, she began to spoon multiple lumps of sugar into her coffee before she hesitated, having to guess. “you’re not here to like, lecture me about making up with riley, are you?” she couldn’t imagine luca involving himself in her friendships like that, but then again, she couldn’t imagine him bothering with someone like riley in the first place either. 

was he made of clay? could he shatter by the slightest of touch in the right direction? topple to the earth with a great crash and left to decay. something as empty as he had been feeling for more days than he wanted to count. buying himself some silence, he took advantage of the cup she left out for him. quietly pouring coffee if only to keep himself busy for a moment. Luca didn’t know how to start. but he heard her ask what was wrong with him. everything. everything was wrong and he still didn’t have the words to say it out loud. seeing her in person pushed away the small bit of peace from the night before. turning he leaned against the counter with a shrug. he hadn’t come to tell her to forgive Riley for something he still thought was more than a little stupid. but maybe it was the weight of everything else on his mind. kissing an ex-boyfriend was trivial. maybe when he was done she would wish that was why he had come. 

instead, he was going to talk about the smell of orchids and black amber. a scent that had been quietly haunting him for days. hidden beneath the smell of wet earth and the taste of blood on his tongue. “no,” he finally answered as he moved a little closer. the warmth of the cup seeping into his bones and alleviating just a little bit of the chill that seemed to constantly linger in his mind. “i didn’t come for that,” was added as he leaned against a chair near hin. his gaze falling on the black liquid he was holding. like some sort of abyss even when it was so confined. he wanted to get lost in. lost and never found. taking a drink from his cup, he relaxed at the scorching liquid, almost like it grounded him at the moment. 

what was the saying? rip it off like a bandaid. more like tear it off. bring his flesh with it and bleed out. leave nothing but something raw behind. “you remember when, before thanksgiving, i said i was thinking about trying to talk to our mother?” mom. the word switched on his tongue. it had always been a soft subject between the two of them. her blame carved somewhere in his soul. part of his heart torn out and held hostage for years. “i did.” 

[lucachristensen]

littlerileyfitz‌:

“You are so very welcome.” She wasn’t a pro at reading Luca, in fact, most times she thought she knew what was going on in that mind of his, she was dead wrong. But the one thing she had gotten good at understanding, is when Luca needed space. Maybe not from her, but from others. From crowds and people, their useless gobble, and their invasive questions and pointless conversations. She knew he could only handle it for so long, but if she saw a finger so much as twitch, that meant he needed some alone time. It’s why she had gotten him his drink, and why she had suggested the go get some fresh air. He had come here for her, she knew that, she wasn’t an idiot. He wasn’t someone who wanted to go to balls and galas, especially now when she could tell he was processing something life changing. And so she was going to make sure he was comfortable tonight. Not pushed into conversations he didn’t want to be apart of, or stay later then was necessary just so they could get one last dance. She wanted this night to be as good a memory for him as it was going to be for her, and that meant maybe not trying to have the most picture perfect night, and instead just see where the night took them. If they left within the next thirty minutes, then okay.

As he took her hand and began to lead them out of the main ball and towards one of the glass doors that led to the cool winter night, she suddenly remembered how bare her shoulders and arms were. It seemed like Luca took notice too, because his jacket was being draped around her to protect from the cold. It earned a smile from the blonde, and she gave his hand a squeeze in thanks. Once they were alone, she moved closer to him. She put her drink on the ledge of the balcony, and then did the same with his own so she could grasp both of his hand sin her own. “I know. And I want you to know I really appreciate you coming tonight.” Leaning into him, she pressed her head against his chest and signed, moving to wrap her arms around him. “We don’t have to stay much longer, if you don’t want to. I just wanted to put on a pretty dress and dance with my boyfriend.” She pulled back, smiling up at him as one of her hands softly ran along the lapels of the black suit. “Who looks so handsome, by the way.” He truly did. It had been a struggle not to just kiss him the moment she had gotten in the car earlier that night.

he didn’t fight her when she reached for his glass and placed it on the ledge of the balcony. shifting his body so Riley could press against him, he relaxed at her touch. breathing in that soft scent that was what he had come to associate to her. something to trigger the memory like rose, soothing like chamomile with a hint of summer sun like lemon. Luca was pretty certain he could try to name it for hours. pick apart what she triggered in his mind when she would settle her head against his shoulder. “we don’t have to leave yet,” he offered softly, wrapping his arms around her to mirror her movement. the feel of her hands running down the front of him teased a smile from the corner of his lips. boyfriend. yes, he could handle that. let the world know he was with her without a single fear. despite what he knew of his father. how that shadow still clung to him in the darkness, he couldn’t touch her. that mattered. 

she was ethereal. exactly what he used to think and now knew a princess could look like. her hair always spun like a little bit of a fairytale.. “thank you,” finally shifted over his lips as he raised a hand to brush a soft strand of hair from her face and place it behind her ear. “you look amazing.” was added but he could have said more. could have told her more. describe how just looking at her in a dress like that, in a room like they were in echoed the past in a way that made his heart shift like it wanted to crawl into his throat. the feeling no different than the very first ball they had danced together at. however, he had more of a name for it. Luca understood just a little better what his mind had wanted to say. why his skin burned from where he touched her. not just touched but memorized.  “one more dance after this. then we can leave.” even if he still wasn't the best dancer, it was one more moment to have etched into his bones so he could remember it when he didn’t want to recall anything else. 

with a breath in he moved to pull her close, rest his forehead against her’s while taking in a breath. there it was. just a little sliver of peace. “then maybe we can get real food because the food seems to always fucking suck at these things.” a smile pulling at his lips. 

[lucachristensen]

the building wasn’t special. it loomed over him like many brick structures did but there was something different about it. the shadow more imposing. almost as if to say it knew why he was there. somewhere he truly didn’t want to be. was it worse that he had taken so long to come to a decision? did it make it mean anything less? taking a drag of his cigarette, Luca just quietly stood in the shadow looming above. as if his thoughts had taken on an outward form and twisted into something ugly. something he could finally see. was it worse that he was doing it the day after the winter ball? something so festive and fun. it was the one night where for a few hours, his heart had seemed light and then he had seen Clara from across the room. the first time he had seen her since before Thanksgiving and it was almost as if he couldn’t breathe. he had run into Sterling and Kaela. their conversations or lack of them burned into his mind but he had been able to avoid her with expert precision. she was the one he had not wanted to speak to the most and yet, the only one he wanted to speak to first.

still, he didn’t let himself walk over the night before. they both stayed on their sides and he focused on Riley with him. the shining smile she gave when he danced with her as if he had nothing to hide. there were so many things he was hiding but not her. never her. the dance was simple. her dress was perfect and for a few hours, he could finally breathe. for weeks it seemed as if he was being crushed by a weight he wished he didn’t have a name for but he did. so terribly he did. it tasted like grave dirt on his tongue. but he pushed it aside. danced with Riley and marvelled over it all. the night was something glowing and radiant. until it wasn’t. until he lay in bed with sleep alluding him. Queen Mab, what’s she. Riley laid in his arms, his mind a whirlwind in the dark that shook his breath from his chest. the earlier conversation he had with the blonde helping him decide what he had to do next. in the present, he was taking the last drag of his cigarette where he stood in front of the building because his dreamless night had forced him to a decision.

looking at his phone, he verified that Clara agreed to hang out before making his way to the door and letting her know he was there. a quick buzz up and he could feel that weight again. but at the moment it was different. instead of weighing on his chest it breathed down his neck, shivers running down his spine. was it the feeling of walking to the gallows? but it wasn’t death that awaited him but truth. reckoning. something he usually was so ready to give but it made his mind stutter. soon enough he was in front of her door and it was open and he was staring at the sister he wanted to talk to the most but also avoid for as long as possible. “hey.” was all he could offer at first, his words low like gravel tumbling over his lips. how could he look at her and tell her she was wrong? he hadn’t killed their mother. their father had. their father. “hope you weren’t busy.” @clara-christensen​

[lucachristensen]

littlerileyfitz‌:

“Okay I got us some drinks.” Riley spoke as soon as she was a few steps away from Luca, holding out the whiskey he had requested, her own champagne flute in hand. Riley wasn’t the type of girl to finish an entire bottle of champagne, but she did like a few glasses at whatever royal event she was attending. Smiling as the bubbles hit her tongue, she looked out at the palace, taking in tonight’s events. She might’ve sounded like a broken record at this point, but it was kind of crazy to think of how drastically things had changed in a year. Last time she was at a ball, at little bit over a year ago, she had come alone, dreamed of a perfect prince of a date and left early when those dreams were crushed. And she had danced with Luca, a moment that she could look back on and easily say had been one of the stepping stones to understanding her feelings about him. But now, now she was here with him, and it was nice. He looked so so handsome it made her heart flutter every time she laid eyes on him. 

Of course there was a little voice in the back of her mind saying to check in on him every few seconds, which she knew would probably get annoying if she acted on it every time she had the thought, so instead she just pushed those instincts down. That being said, she knew Luca and she knew he didn’t like being around crowds of people on a good day. Maybe it was time they took a breather. “I saw some doors that look like they lead outside. Want to get some fresh air?” @lucachristensen​

quietly he watched the people move around him. his posture defaulting to something he had been taught so long ago. etiquette was something their father seemed to think they would know on the isle. of course, he ignored it after the age of nine but before that, he soaked it in like a sponge. Luca may not have been a fan of balls or overly large numbers of people, but he could act like he was meant to be in one if he chose. usually, he didn’t want that. didn’t want to feel the way his muscles remembered something a man he hated taught him. gods he hated him. sighing to himself, he tried to push away the thoughts that curled at the top of his spine. waiting to swarm his mind again. the night was meant to be something good. something light. Riley looked, beautiful. as if on cue she came back with a drink in her hand for him. the whiskey upturned the corner of his lips. the little things she seemed to remember. “thank you.” he offered in his usual low tone but there was a warmth to it that no one had gotten from him in days. he didn’t feel warm. 

Luca barely had time to take a sip of the drink before she mentioned doors. doors that could be to a little bit of freedom of the crowds. so far he had avoided any siblings that may have been there. but from what he had heard, Sterling certainly wasn’t going to be. there was a twist of something in his gut that he couldn’t or maybe refused to name. instead, he clung to her offer with a soft nod. “that sounds amazing.” he admitted without any heat but moved to slide his free fingers in her’s so they could walk to the doors in question together. it occurred to him only as they got to the doors that there would obviously be a chill to the air. releasing her hand. he shifted to take his coat off only to drape it over her arms and moved to intertwine their fingers again. he could already feel the blessed chill from the air outside. “there’s always so many people,” he mumbled softly.

[lucachristensen]

sterlingchristensen‌:

he knew luca was a tortured soul, had he been raised differently maybe he would’ve looked out for him more, but the cards were dealt how they were. sterling couldn’t change that, he couldn’t travel back in time to try and save his brother from himself, so he lived his life the best way he possibly could even if it meant hurting others he was supposed to care about. sterling and luca just never could see eye to eye, verbal arguments that quickly escalated to violence. it wasn’t like the girls could stop them, and it wasn’t like hans would, enjoying the chaos it seemed for many of their younger years. the youngest and the oldest, throwing blows, the memory felt like decades ago. did auradon just make time go by faster? was there some fucked up enchantment over the isle that just made time go by slower, making them live in misery longer and longer.

nowadays, they just sort of avoided each other, honestly sterling wouldn’t be able to tell you what was going on in luca’s life. for some reason, actually thinking about it made him a little off put, wondering now what was up with his brother. especially once he looked down at him, noticing a lack of fire behind him per usual. he looked tired, stressed, noting the way his eyes had slight bags under them. he was suddenly a little worried inside, not enough to show it or admit it, but it was the same feeling he had when he got that text about clara. he never hated his siblings, just strongly disliked them, but at the end of the day….they were his family. silently watching as luca held out the pack, he grabbed one before his brow rose as his brother offered him a light.

typically he’d view this as a trap, a way for his brother to light his hair on fire and burn him to the ground. but the more he looked at him, the less he saw that malicious intent behind his hues, he just looked exhausted. like he wouldn’t even be up to fight back if he made that move, so he let him light the end as he took a slow drag. still no words audible from luca’s lips, he paused before glancing at the space on the bench beside him. quietly, he cleared his throat and moved to sit there, letting the silence swallow them up for a moment. finally, about halfway burnt down on his cigarette now, he exhaled the smoke from his lungs before finally glancing over to luca, “…..you know, normally by now we’d be at each other’s throats.” sterling offered, flicking the ash from the end of his cigarette before speaking more, “which means, something must really be on your mind?”

why did he move through his mind like a cemetery? walking past gravestones like they were meant to be there. remnants of the pieces of himself he thought long gone. Luca remembered the scent beneath the smell Clara described their mother as. something that chilled him. the hairs on the back of his neck he finally put a name to it. it was how the grave dirt smelled. Luca had wandered through the sad little cemetery on the isle more the once. still, he was unsure how any could find it a fitting resting place. even for the villains. but he wondered what it would be like. would there be peace in it? was it endless torment? did the murdered find a resting place fit for the crime committed against them? could they see each other? did they shift amongst one another, showing their scars from life? speaking of the things they had lived and seen. if so, did their mothers know each other? did they look upon each other and share a silent type knowledge? were they proud of them?

the thought moved through his brain like turpentine. waiting to catch fire. waiting to burn him alive. what was left to burn? hearing his brother speak he was reminded. a twinge in his chest. a little boy that had wanted to hear that question so many times before. there was plenty of humanity left in him. it was the very reason he held on to words that begged to be spoken. not yet. maybe never. maybe he would clutch it to his chest for the rest of his life. curve it into his ribs as a secret they could never hear. one day bring it to his grave and tell his mother all about it. finally taking a drag of his cigarette he breathed in slowly. allowing the noxious smoke to fill his lungs. one step closer. thinking over what Sterling said, he left him in silence.

it was an odd question. one that had a lick of anger rolling up his spine but it didn’t make it far enough. swallowed back into the abyss. what would he have done before? clench his jaw? glare a hollow glare? debate pulling out the lighter again and trying to see how quickly he could catch flame? maybe. Luca couldn’t bring himself to do it at the moment. limbs tired and emotions raw he just took another drag before speaking as he breathed out. silently begged for mercy from himself. “there’s still time,” there was no heat in his words. no threat like there should have been. just something empty. like he was filling the space between them. he was. he didn’t want to sit next to him. didn’t want his existence to taunt him. but there he was. living his life without having all of his beliefs answered. his worst thought of himself soothed but leaving grave dirt on his tongue. 

“go away.” he finally mustered up after an amount of time he hadn’t been counting. still, they were hollowed out. like a carcass from a hunt. like he had been. with no one but himself to blame. 

[lucachristensen]

TEXT MESSAGE ✉️ LUCA 🖤🥰🖤

Riley: Really!? Okay perfect. Would you want to drive together, or meet there? My car is back in Tangleton but we could always rent a car if we want to go together. Much safer if we plan on drinking too.

Riley: you know I think you look good in black. So I have no issues with it.

Luca: really.

Luca: we could take a car there. just to be on the responsible side.

Luca: black is a good color.

Luca: did you pick a dress?

[lucachristensen]

TEXT MESSAGE ✉️ LUCA 🖤🥰🖤

Riley: Kind of. Yeah.

Riley: I might’ve already went looking at dresses.

Riley: but I promise if your not up for it, it’s fine.

Luca: let's go.

Luca: as long as you can deal with me wearing black..

[lucachristensen]

sterlingchristensen‌:

It’s not like he talked to his siblings regularly, in fact he couldn’t remember the last time he even saw Luca anywhere. He’d seen Clara at that party when he picked her up after he got a text about her being shit faced, which ultimately turned out to be because of some enchanted potion in the punch. He saw Kaela on Halloween night at the Duckling, which was a….pleasant exchange of sibling-like conversation but he was a little busy with Beatrice for the evening. But Luca? He’d always been an enigma amongst his siblings, disappearing with no regard, not that Sterling could give a fuck about it but it was an obvious fact. 

He never really celebrated Christmas, not even last year when he was on campus and there were shades of red and green everywhere, he didn’t understand it. It’s not like on the Isle they had big holiday celebrations, but this year was sort of different. He was dating someone, for starters, and she’d probably celebrated Christmas for her whole life so best to get her something right? But he had no idea what she’d even like, which had him aimlessly walking through shops with a bit of frustration at the crowds. Maybe he should just order something online and hope it got here in time. With a heavy sigh he pushed out of the shop and begun walking before he saw his younger brother on a bench. 

Luca was smoking a cigarette, which made him now want one, and he pursed his lips together as he made eye contact. But that was it, just eye contact. No snarky comment, no underhanded insult, just a look and then he looked away. Interesting. So he walked over easily, motioning to his brother, “Got another one of those?” Sterling questioned with a raise of his brow, hands stuffed into the pockets of his jacket as he stood in front of him.

silently, Luca found the words to curse the gods in his mind. was it punishment? for all of the terrible fucking things, he had done? did they finally decide it was time for him to deal with it all? no longer could he hide under all of the fire that burned in him. the simplicity of breaking things when all he wanted to do was break himself. no, he didn’t want that to happen. that wasn’t true. but that didn’t mean that wasn’t what happened. for all of the loud and external ways, he showed it, sometimes, sometimes it was silent and inward. it was tearing at his own mind in the nights he couldn’t sleep. it was blaming himself for things he now knew where never him. the crushing loneliness when he read a happy fucking fairytale and all he wanted was an ending like theirs. 

but that could give way to something numb. something hollow. a person could drown in it all. without a word, he dug into his pocket, pulled out the pack of cigarettes to offer Sterling one. with a second move, he offered his lighter, a quick switch with a finger had the flame burning softly. glancing at his brother for a minute, he really looked at him. the flame dancing near him in a way that maybe Luca had imagined before. setting everything he ever enjoyed a flame. his big brother. he wondered if he realized he was shit at it? that every memory he had of him was empty. broken. did it matter? did he care? maybe he should want to hurt him. after all, he always thought he did. burn his world to the ground like it seemed Luca’s was. 

most days Luca didn’t think about it. it didn’t influence his decisions or keep him up at night. as of late, however, it was different. like his mind was trying to decide if telling them would be worth it. if they would care. if they would want to know. would it just be cruel to change whatever they thought about their lives? Sterling was the eldest. Hans’ boy. a fucking shit brother when he needed him. if only hate was so easy. but it wasn’t hate. it was cold, empty, and crushing. without thinking about it he took another cigarette for himself because, fuck why not, and lit up. the previous one already disposed of. putting everything back in the pockets they belonged in, he leaned against the bench again with sighed. the cigarette sitting between his fingers. idle. silence swallowing his will to speak. 

[lucachristensen]

TEXT MESSAGE ✉️ LUCA 🖤🥰🖤

Riley: Hi.

Riley: I don't know if you saw, and I totally understand if the answer is no because I know they aren't really your thing and things have been difficult lately so why would you want to be around all those people. But did you see the announcement of the Winter Solstice Ball? And is it something you would potentially be interested in going in?

Luca: hi.

Luca: yeah, i'm interested.

Luca: would you like to go?

[lucachristensen]

kaelachristensen‌:

the flush of people back into auradon city was as welcomed as it wasn’t. she didn’t go home, or really do anything over the short break aside from worked, which was fine by her. simple. easy. though it seemed that as people returned, they brought this feeling that… something was off with them. it felt like she was waiting around for shit hit the fan, and she was in the dark as to what, exactly that was. it went beyond just the christensen lot - but everyone. when things are going too well, they are doomed to implode, right ?

she had noticed luca before he did her - her silent steps seldom betrayed her presence. the elder scanned the shelves for a bit before approaching, eyes illuminating when they met his. it was often that she didn’t really know where she stood with her siblings - often their interactions were a deck of cards and she never knew what she would be DEALT. with luca, however, things were a little bit more predictable. he’d speak if he wanted to. wouldn’t if he didn’t want to. if she played her cards right, she could gather some semblance of how he’s doing, but she knew to never push him. 

there was no ‘surprise, you’ve found me’, or some dry comment that he’d usually make when she’d stumble upon him. so today was going to be a day where he didn’t want to talk. “okay,” her voice was BARELY above a whisper, her tone patient. she couldn’t shake the feeling that there was some sort of… heaviness in the air as she sat beside him, plucking out her own book. so she’d sit in silence with him. it wouldn’t be the first time. unlike him, she actually got to reading, though every page or so she’d glance upwards to look at her younger brother. there was something stirring around in that head of his - there always was, but she couldn’t help but feel this to be different. she let’s the silence remain for a good while, as if to give him the opportunity to speak if he wanted to. after about a chapter or so, she dog tagged the corner of her book, glancing upwards. she wasn’t sure if she’d even heard him flip a page since she’d sat. “how was your break?”

when she sat down with only a soft okay that rang through the air, it occurred to him that there was something to hate about it all. not her. it wasn’t hate the wore down his soul when he thought about her or them. it was the comfort he took when she just accepted his silence and sat. there was this part of him. a small little part that still remembered wishing they were a family like all of the books he read as a child. when the silence was crushing. when all he wanted was her to say something. Luca hated that he craved it. but the only reason he did was because of a terrible father that did nothing to breed that sort of feeling among them. nothing but twist them into what he wished. even after leaving that house and living everywhere but in that dilapidated mansion. the feeling of it all still clung to him. probably always would. 

running has hand over the page he was on, he hadn’t even read a single word. instead, his mind continued to wander until his sister spoke next to him. something soft, barely taking up space between them but enough to get his attention. “it was fine.” he started in a low tone. almost like he wanted to whisper. keep his words to himself. glancing towards her he notated that she was actually looking at him. “went camping.” he added, he almost had to force it out. even the simplest of statements were tainted. gazing at her quietly, he traced her face before looking back to his book. did she look like her mother? did she have her smile? her eyes? did she ever wonder about her? Kaela had been old enough to maybe remember a little bit about his mother but he wondered if she remembered her own?

thinking about it made his throat run dry. if he told her, would she thank him? would it answer something in her soul? was there a single part of her that needed to know? or would it crush something? irreversibly ruin a piece of her? Luca wasn't sure he could bring himself to do it. not with a chance it could. no matter what had ever happened between them in the past. how her silence did nothing to stop the rage he held in his lungs. breathing it out. recklessly. impulsively. the pain that clawed at him every time nothing. ever. changed. that was before. now, he didn’t want to make her feel a thing close to that kind of pain. “yours?” 

[lucachristensen]

looking at his phone again. he saw that Nate had read the text he sent him. within moments the door buzzed and he was allowed to walk into the building. Luca had a nervous hum to his limbs as he took the stairs slowly. he worried that his friend wasn’t nearly as okay as he thought after it all. maybe there had been complications. maybe it had been something that required a price. he had read Aurèlie’s books. he knew somethings had a price and he hoped it wasn’t something the fellow isle dweller would need to pay. there was a shiver that rolled up his spine when he thought about it. if anyway should pay for it it was him. he knew that. the thought made him pause. he wondered if in a way he was? 

there was a terrible feeling, like a shadow towering over his consciousness. constantly. he hadn’t spoken of what happened since the day it did. the words like a mixture of ash and blood on his tongue. while it burned it choked. Luca couldn’t bring himself to say it to the people that it would matter to the most. finally making his way to the floor he was meant to be on, he continued to the door with a quick knock. the man on the other side and Aurèlie were the only people that knew. he hadn’t told Riley. he hadn’t spoken to Mimi. his words just silently bounced around his brain with nowhere he would let them go. 

when the door swung open, he let out a relieved sigh he could finally stop holding. seeing Nate soothed something in him. he wasn’t dead. so, that was a fucking bonus. “nice to see you up and about.” he eyed him for a minute. a smirk twisting the edge of his mouth but barely making his eyes he was certain. “good to know you didn’t agree to do anything else that could have been a terrible idea without it being for me or at least me being there.” he joked lowly. @nate-thana​

[lucachristensen]

there was a chill to his bones as he breathed in the brisk air. the sun the only source of warmth while he leaned back on the bench. his shift had Tiana’s had ended over an hour ago. his legs taking him on a walk when he could have easily gotten into his car. that still sat in the parking lot back at work. instead, it had been a good idea to just fucking walk. aimlessly into the city. bringing his cigarette up to his lips, Luca took a deep breath in, felt the sting of the cold before he pulled the smoke from his lips and breathed out.

part of him had the feeling of aimlessness. he imagined like a ship with no rutter. no way to guide himself. a feeling so similar to how he started his summer. but there was one major difference. then there had been too much. so much in his mind, it hurt. too much for one soul alone. but it wasn’t that at the moment. it was.. as if there was nothing else but a few. only a few that he knew were ones he didn’t feel very much before. not before he started to pay attention to what was under the rage. as if life had forced him to and now he didn’t want any of it. he wished it was just hate and anger. he wished it wasn’t something deeper and harde to understand. 

almost like poetry. how under the ash of rage he found something raw and bleeding. it tasted like blood in his mouth. taking another drag he forced the thoughts of melancholy out of his mind. or tried to anyway. whatever effort Luca was putting forth to organize himself, he was left at a loss when he accidentally made eye contact with someone he really didn’t feel like seeing. Sterling. his brother. fuck. part of him wanted to scream at him what he had learned since he saw him last. see if there was a single piece of him that was willing to acknowledge that he too was just as messy. just as destroyed as the rest of them. but that part of him that didn’t hate the elder brother held onto it tightly. because it wasn’t hate that clawed his throat when he saw him. it was something else.  

something not so clean and easy to understand. something more abraded and giving way to ash. Luca offered no words. no, acknowledgement but that quick bit of eye contact as he looked away and took the last drag of his cigarette.  @sterlingchristensen​

[lucachristensen]

it was with a book in hand that Luca found himself sitting in the bookstore that was off the beaten path of other college students. one frequented by him more often than anywhere else. the pages were worn and torn in a way that was comforting while he quietly read. his mind on everything but the words in front of him. he hadn’t gone back to the isle when given the chance. he hadn’t gone to Tangleton when invited. instead, he had sought solace in the quiet of the forest. what he had been a little surprised about was that Riley had come with him. at first, he had been worried. all he wanted was silence. he didn’t want to talk about things or work things out but she had let him be as quiet as he liked. it had been, nice. 

being back at school was not. the people were suffocating. the sounds annoying. an itch crawling up his spine that was deadly quiet. it was almost painful but it was better than the hollow feeling that echoed his thoughts. his mind not wanting to think about what still hung on his tongue. clung to his lungs. the secret he knew and part of him wanted to speak it. scream it to the sky. let every sibling hear it. but another part of him. that one that remembered he didn’t hate them. it was something else that curled through his bones when he thought of them... it swallowed it down. buried it deep until he could decide. 

on instinct he looked up around him and saw a familiar figure. Luca hadn’t seen Kaela when she walked in. but the moment she had been in his vicinity his eyes flicked up like he had been expecting her. maybe he should have. that was how his life worked wasn’t it? she found him when he was begging for silence. as if that was how they could speak to each other. 

biting his lip he just looked at her for a brief moment before turning his eyes back to his book. no greeting. no growled out words for her to leave. just that part of him crawling through his bones looking for solace when he was certain he would find none. still, the comfortable chair next to him was empty and maybe she would take it. maybe it would mean something. @kaelachristensen​

[lucachristensen]

littlerileyfitz‌:

So it had been a few hours of radio silence, hours that obviously kept her on edge, but she was trying not to worry. Things had just been really great lately, with Luca, and there was always that small part of her brain that would tell her it was only going to be that great for so long. But she tried to ignore it. She kept herself busy. She bleached her hair. She started watching a netflix documentary. It was all good. So when her phone vibrated and she saw a reply from Luca, with the text bubble going for a good ten minutes straight, her stomach dropped. What if he decided this wasn’t wanted. What if he realized just how different they were and maybe he just… didn’t think it clicked like they wanted it to. Those damn three dots did absolutely nothing to help her anxiety. His text though, that helped. He wanted her to come over. He wanted to see her. She let out a sigh of relief before grabbing her bag and throwing a few overnight things in there before slipping out the front door.

It didn’t take long to arrive at the apartment he shared with Aurèlie. She pressed the button next to their apartment number and waited to be buzzed in. Once inside the building she found their door, and smiled at Aurèlie when she let her in. It was a soft smile and a quiet greeting sent towards her pink haired friend before walking towards Luca’s room, noting the lack of certain knick knacks or vases that might once have been displayed around the apartment. Brows furrowing, she found the door to Luca’s room and knocked slightly before letting herself in. “Hey.” It was dark, and felt her way towards the bed because it was definitely going to take a few minutes for her eyes to adjust. “Everything okay?” She let her bag drop near the edge of the bed before sitting down, feeling around on the covers before finding his arm. She wasn’t exactly sure what was going on, but she could fell the weight this room held. So she found his hand and softly squeezed it, letting him know that whatever was happening, she was here. @lucachristensen​

in the minutes since he had text, Riley. he had almost forgotten he had. it was silent, in the dark of his room. he knew that Aurèlie was outside of the room, somewhere in the apartment but for a short time, in the darkness, he could feel utterly alone. but there was something calm in that feeling. no, maybe not calm. empty. like for once in his life, he was void of rage. void of all of it. no sadness. no clawing feeling trying to break out of his chest or tear his mind apart. just this haze. an empty mist he didn’t need to look through. just had to sink in. Luca was blissfully happy to do that. just stay in the dark. not say a word. not until he had to. 

his thoughts were pulled away while he laid there. hearing his friend greet someone. reminding himself that he had told Riley she could come over. that he didn't’ want to see other people but he was still willing to see her. was he really. before she walked into the room, her soft scent filling his room. filling the silence he thought that maybe he really was. “hey.” he spoke lowly. raw disuse from laying there. apparently, the day had been rough on him. “just a heavy day.” he provided softly, gently squeezing her hand, pulling her back to him so she could be next to him. 

he just wanted to bury his head into her side. breath as deeply as he could and sit there. in the dark and quiet. it had been so frighteningly easy to admit to himself that he had always enjoyed her scent. something with rose. calm like chamomile. fresh like lemon and the sun. but Luca resisted the urge so she could lay next to him. waited for her to get settled before he did just that. as much as he loved what he knew to truly be his mother’s scent. he wanted to replace it with something else. replace the memory with a scent that didn’t hurt. he didn’t say another word. 

[lucachristensen]

aureliefacilier‌:

A smile slide on to her lips when she heard him chuckle. It was light but it was something. She watched him as he answered her. She lifted her arms as he shifted in his place. Her fingers going back to his hair as soon as he settled down again. “I can imagine she is a real stunner if you two look like her.” was offered softly as she looked down at him. As much as she knew that this experience had upset him. She was glad that Luca got to see his mother. She knew what that felt like. Seeing someone you’ve only ever dreamed about meeting. It’s bittersweet but worth the pain just to have a memory of what they looked like. She’d had pictures her whole life. Luca and Clara hadn’t. 

She let out a deep sigh when he spoke up again. His words from earlier echoed in her head. It wasn’t hard to believe that Hans had been the end of their mother. Not Luca. But it was one thing to suspect it, and another to hear it directly from your dead mother. “Well,” she started to speak. Trying to fashion her words together. She had never cared for Clara. But that didn’t mean she was completely heartless when it came to the girl. She was Luca’s sister and she knew deep down he cared about her. “You just tell her what happened, what your mother told you. That is really all you can do.” she chewed at her lip a bit as she thought about it. “There is no easy way to tell someone something like this. So it better to just be upfront and deal with the consequences as they come. She may not be happy to hear it, but later she will be thankful you told her. Or at least I hope she will.” 

listening to Aurèlie speak, he tried to reconcile what she was saying with what he figured would happen. Luca could tell Clara. he could explain the entire moment. but there was a strong chance she wouldn't believe him. maybe she would think he was fucking with her. maybe she would think he was trying to place the blame on someone else for something he had done. when had she ever appreciated anything he had done for her? but that thought halted his thoughts. it made him think harder on it. when had he ever done something for her? not just digging into their mother and their grandparents. just something for her? for any of them? he could hope she would appreciate knowing but what if she didn’t. what if none of them did. 

for the briefest of moments, he toyed with the idea of not saying anything. let it weight on him. let him take it to his fucking grave. just the thought had a pain twisting in his chest. Luca could do that, couldn’t he? he kept enough things to himself that it would be easy. enough secrets that they didn’t need to know. just add one more. what was one more? taking a shuttering breath he told himself he could do it. it didn’t matter what it meant. he already hated their father anyway. almost like it came naturally. they all seemed to have some sort of soft spot for him. or maybe not a soft spot but connection. something. a willingness to listen enough. different and varied between the three of them but he didn’t. he didn’t have to take that from them. didn’t need to.