s h a m e

Lucas - Phoenix - 519

[lucasxcavallero]

xrowansmithx​:

“Yeah, it’s a huge moral debate. There’s no guidebook on what it means to save people, at times I wondered if wiping out those that fed on others, through blood, sex or murder was the right thing to do. To ultimately protect humanity but the way loss echoes, the haunting that I saw in everyone’s eyes who watched as their loved ones faded to nothing before them, nothing about that feels right. It’s genocide, we don’t get to play god just because we have power. I felt helpless when the veil fell, I heard you lost your wife. Are you okay?”

-

“I felt haunted, so that’s one way to put it. Though I think you raise a question that no one wants to answer, and that no one really wants to face. We may not be gods, but we have the ability to stand for those who cannot compete with the others within this world. I don’t think a man on the brink of suicide would like it much if you told him it wasn’t your place. Because that’s the other end of the spectrum, isn’t it? If you won’t kill the man who wielded the sword, then why bother with the other? Hypocrisy is what everyone will fall back on if they can.” Lucas shook his head, looking down now, “I am now that she is back. There is no life without her.”

[lucasxcavallero]

virajxsoteira​:

@lucasxcavallero

A low whistle rang out through the night as Viraj stepped out of the alleyway, a handkerchief moved between his palms and over his fingers as he disposed of the blood that had splattered all over his skin. Another suit ruined. The vampire made an exaggerated effort to sigh, it was a shame, but at least he’d found an excellent tailor and designer in town to replace the ones that he soiled. “Lucas?” Viraj greeted brightly, why Ana had chosen someone so inherently good was beyond him, but they were brothers in a sense. In-laws. He was just happy that he’d never had the misfortune of having to meet Lucas’ side of the family. “You might not want to go back there, I have a habit of making a mess of my food.” 

-

Ana kept the worst company, that had never changed. Lucas could practically feel the vampire’s presence, and how darkness seemed to trail after this one specifically. “I didn’t know you were in town, VIraj.” If only it could have stayed that way. He managed a small smile, even though he was less than impressed with the fact that the vampire had just killed someone. “You know, after what happened with the veil, you should probably stop patronizing this city. I could’ve been someone else.”

[lucasxcavallero]

anaxcavallero​:

It would be far easier to accept this as an agonizing trick of the Acheron, some horrifying illusion of what she desired most only for eternal damnation to rip her back into the inky blackness. But gods, Lucas feels so real and she cannot help from running her fingers along every inch of his face, neck, shoulders–– ensnaring the phoenix within a tight hold. The blood passing through his veins, a rising heartbeat… it’s all a comfort that she believed would never come again.

“I’m here,” Ana confirmed into his shoulder, if not a little dubious and bewildered herself at the realization. Beyond him, she gazes to the rug below and neither smells nor locates the crimson stains from her final death. “How long was I gone?” No doubt time passed at a far different rate in the living world, but she couldn’t be certain. Days? Weeks? Months? “The veil cannot fall again. If what I saw is what Mateo saw…” Their figures release long enough to pause mere inches away, his face held between steady palms. “He will never endure that again.”

Lucas held Ana against him, the reassurance that she was there finally settling in. She was back, and he was no longer miserable. It was as if time turned back, and this was a second – no, third – chance at their life together. “Two weeks,” he breathed out, almost like it had been longer. The fire was beneath his fingertips once more, and his soul yet again felt at place beside the vampire’s. A strange thing, perhaps, that his other half was the complete opposite of himself. 

“What did you see?” he prompted, his fingers now stroking her cheek. Ana’s eyes were clear, the same shade he knew them to be. Pictures were all he had for two weeks, and he knew he could never live without her. “Whatever happened, it’s been...reversed. I wasn’t here moments ago, like you, but it looks like something changed time itself.”

[lucasxcavallero]

xrowansmithx​:

“Of course, I wouldn’t know a different way.” It would have driven her mad not knowing if he still had breath in his lungs or not. The bay had been shaken by so much loss and deaths had occurred that weren’t even in direct relation to the veil, such as their creator and Erik’s. Deaths that she was informed of after the veil was resurrected again. She couldn’t sleep and everything hurt so she just wanted to be with the people she cared about. “I’m okay, all those that have died have returned. I have something good to focus on, with being maid of honor to Noah and I got an invitation to another summer wedding. This doesn’t feel over though and I’m scared of getting too comfortable. How are you doing?”

-

Rowan looked like she’d been through hell, but Lucas didn’t want to comment on that just yet. Abilities like their own came with much responsibility, along with guilt. “We’re meant to save people, and it’s difficult when that’s the opposite of what we can do. Especially when something like that happens. I don’t think any of us were really prepared. But you’re here, and that means something.”

[lucasxcavallero]

olivierbraam​:

closed starter for @lucasxcavallero​

“So I think I might change up the menu a bit. I don’t think people are fans of all the experimental stuff anymore. Or are they? I don’t even know.” He was capable of cooking whatever. However, people nowadays wanted more. Olivier couldn’t truly blame them. When he had been growing up, he had not been the kind of person that would pay or charge a lot for food. This restaurant was his pride and joy though. Could he truly change it? Maybe that was why he enlisted the help of his dearest friend. “Never mind that. What are you writing lately?”

Lucas was staring at the restaurant’s menu, trying to decipher some of the words on it. The idea was quaint, that’s for sure, but it wasn’t like Lucas wanted to try everything – some food was an acquired taste. “I’ve been writing the history of Spain within California from the 1650′s to the 1800′s. Really, really fascinating stuff. Do you want a copy of the book?”

[lucasxcavallero]

@xrowansmithx​

“Thank you – for checking in on me a while ago.” He’d been less than the ideal company, too caught up in writing down every memory he held of Ana into his notebook. The human mind was fragile, and he wasn’t sure how long his would last when his world had lost most of its color. But the veil was back, his wife was returned to him, and he and Rowan were phoenixes once more. “Are you doing okay?”

[lucasxcavallero]

@petrichorxathanasios​

“Was the fall of the veil everything you had hoped it would be?” It was an honest question, one that didn’t hold a hint of the disappointment or sorrow Lucas had felt weeks prior. Ana had been returned to him, and the phoenix was able to let go of the resentment he’d been feeling. He was never one for pettiness or vengeance, it tired him. 

[lucasxcavallero]

anaxcavallero​:

It was a fitting end for a monster she supposed. The endless darkness and torment of the River Acheron, an eternity of loneliness caught in its inky depths wherein she could only witness Charon’s boat as it passed to ferry across brighter souls than her own. Eventually one passage would contain Lucas and therein might lay her final torture from the gods, knowing that he existed in Elysium and could not hear as Ana cried out to him… Separated permanently…

And then all at once, she stood in her living room beside the phoenix yet again, not a single breath in her lungs and compelled by a power only known to the undead. No blood, no searing pain at the expanse of her bare throat. What cruel vision was this? To grant her not even a second chance at life, but a third and perhaps final. “Am I alive or are you dead?” While she maintained that what appeared too great to be true often was, there was a reality to Lucas’ figure. The heat in his cheeks, a repetitive heartbeat which seemed to flicker in ways that her own could only manage in spirit. 

“What’s happened?” Immediately seeking answers to reassert control over a situation so far out of her hands, but oh how quintessentially Ana. A dubious expression is all that stands between the vampire and her spouse, so unwilling to believe any fortune in her favor while still… still hoping on some level despite it. @lucasxcavallero​

His world had lost its color when Ana had died in his arms. It was almost like as she had taken her last breath, she’d stolen the rest of the air from the room as well. The phoenix had been human, and alone. Mateo was dead, and he’d did as Ana had asked. He’d taken them both to be buried beside each other – in a way that he knew Ana would have wanted. He’d carried on with his writing, but as he’d told his wife, all of his happy stories were of her. The words did not flow as easily as they had once before, 

Their home was ready to be sold, the walls no longer echoing with Ana’s laughter. Her smile no longer present in his life. Lucas did not wish to live there without her, and it seemed that the moment he dropped the keys into the new owner’s hands, time stood still. He was thrown back into his living room, no blood staining the rug. 

Fire danced beneath his fingertips, and he suddenly felt the presence of another soul that was as familiar to him as his own. “Ana,” he breathed, looking down at where she sat up from the floor. He moved closer, reaching out to pull her into his arms, “You’re here,” he breathed, tears already pooling in his brown eyes, “I don’t know – I don’t know what the hell just happened, but you’re here.”

[lucasxcavallero]

anaxcavallero​:

Without vampirism, there is not enough strength in her slender body to fight against Lucas’ decree that he intends to stay beside her. Through sickness and in health, hadn’t that been their vow? His loyalty is compelling as always, but the pain in Ana’s neck is rivaled only by the squeezing within her chest at the thought of Mateo. “He can’t be alone in this, he doesn’t––” He doesn’t deserve that. “I never let him die alone.” In his turning, she remained close by as both a watchful protector and assuage of loneliness. Ana had felt it herself long ago, those harrowing first moments without anyone to truly guide her from that point onward. The fear and confusion undoubtedly gripping her only progeny now must feel overwhelming, even amidst her own destruction she feels nothing except shame for not protecting Mateo from this end. Why couldn’t they have found the cure before the storm? Must he suffer the consequences of their arrogance in believing time was a luxury? “Mijo…“ It’s the only time Ana will ever call him this, and he isn’t even present to hear the pleading affection in her tone.

“No, I want you to live.” She gasps, one hand reaching up to clasp at the maroon scar now threatening to unfold her gruesome history all over their living room. Once it happens, she will be unable to speak and so Ana states her point quickly. “If this is your last life here, I want you to spend it beautifully. Smile, laugh, drink and eat to your heart’s content all over the world. Write in that ridiculous notebook until your fingers no longer work.” Settling onto the floor against their sofa, her free hand cradles Lucas’ face. Would he travel to where they met in México? Walk the ruins of Machu Picchu and tell them what they made of her? She had truly been the most self indulgent person for the entirety of her immortal life, but Ana never clung to that where Lucas was concerned and she held no intention of starting now. His life after this would be his own, it must be. 

“You are the only person who ever saw any good in me. The only one. And I love you for it, for this,” her palm slides down to press over his heart. Perhaps the greatest in all the world, so full of room for misfits and the undeserving. “You can’t allow my end to darken what I love most about you. Swear that you won’t become me, Lucas. Swear it.” Her throat is paper thin now, an hourglass meeting its final grains of sand.

-

“I’ll find him, amore,” Lucas promised, taking Ana into his arms. He lifted her up, sitting down now with her cradled in his lap. He would find Mateo, bring him home as well. That much he could do for Ana. The young vampire had grown on him as well, a life that seemingly was cut short. Ana’s was as well, and life was hardly fair for the two of them. Lucas could hardly imagine a life where he didn’t hear his wife’s sweet voice, her cunning smile – it seemed like a dull life, one that wasn’t going to be filled with the same bright light. Did Ana even know how she lit up his life? How she brought the air with her into any room he was in? For a man who could see the world from above, it meant little to the world that Ana held in her palms. 

Ana’s hand against his cheek makes Lucas lift his own. Pressing her touch to his cheek, he holds on to it. He would always hold on. He’d always been the stoic type. His happiness was only a reflection of Ana, but he would always listen to her. He’d always try his best to do what she wanted, no matter what. “I will live, Ana. I will do all you want me to, and more,” he murmured, managing a smile even as a tear slipped down his cheek. “But I want you to know that all of my happy stories are of you. All the love I pour into my silly little notebook...will always be a reflection of you. A pale one, but I try my best,” he breathed, pressing a kiss against her palm. Lucas would write only about Ana, as he had before. His scribblings of stories of what they had done together when they were both young, and promises of a distant future. He had wanted to take her everywhere – see the world once more. Away from Corinth Bay, away from those that wished to harm all of them. Even now, he could only think about how he would have her memory to live for. There had been a point in time where he had thought a family would be it for them; they would have each other, and slip into their own world without a care for the rest of it. 

Lucas pulled her closer, even as her fingers dipped to press against her chest. “You know I don’t like to swear,” he teased her, managing a final smile for his wife. If he couldn’t be strong now, then there would be no point in continuing on. For Ana, he would do anything, say anything. “You are so much more than you think. You always have been. I swear I will do all that you say, and more. But you’re it for me. You’ve always been it for me. You have my heart, and you take it with you, love. Take it with you – because it has always belonged to you.” 

[lucasxcavallero]

anaxcavallero​:

They don’t know his name. Which rendered the mystery individual just shy of useless and time had run out, there would be no cure for herself or Mateo… Lucas is pleading against the finality, his heart nearly crawling up the narrows passage of his throat to protest, but Ana merely clasps his hand in her own. Lifting it to bestow an imprint of her lipstick, any movement pauses in tandem with the world around them falling utterly silent. 

So, so quiet. She only knew of nights this empty in her youth, before the modern world tainted peace with every tantalizing sound known to man. 

“It’s done.” Her gaze does not falter from Lucas, both awaiting the effects of whichever side of the veil has assured their outcome. The unfamiliar pain in Ana’s chest is her first inclination, like choking and desperation all at once, pleading for a reprieve that can only be granted by–– she inhales sharply. Again. Again. It registers that she’s breathing, but only enough to keep herself above water because as soon as the concept of mortality is known, its fragile nature becomes apparent as well. 

Her throat, blistering red while the gash across it darkens with every passing moment, depicts the natural order of things. How she should have died in that grassy field outside the city walls, what was meant to be her end. Such a horrific way to perish for a second time. “You have to go, find Mateo… Leave.” Ana had witnessed the gruesome death of loved ones before, she could still recall the scene of Lucas being slaughtered hundreds of years removed, and never did she wish the same experience on her partner. “Lucas, please.”

-

Their hands were clasped together once more, the dichotomy between the vampire’s cold skin and the phoenix’s warmth ever present. But that’s what they were. They were the duo that was unexpected, and the two people that beat the odds of being together. Even when they had been wrenched apart by death, giving up his life for Ana was something that Lucas never regretted. And now? He would’ve given up every life he had to spend just another day with his wife. Too many had seen him as kind to a fault – and her? She was the villain that they wished to paint with all things gone wrong in their own lives. 

Lucas watched as the first breath hit Ana’s lungs for the first time in centuries. He reached out to steady her, but they both knew that he wouldn’t be going anywhere. The color and warmth seeped back into Ana’s skin, and it left Lucas’. No longer could he see the vampire’s cursed soul. Instead, she was just Ana. His wife. The truest love he’d ever known. “No, you know I can’t do that.” He put his hand against her cheek, meeting her deep gaze, “I promised that I would never leave you again. And I won’t do that again.” 

Ana’s love was at least the one consistent he’d known. He’d traveled everywhere searching for her, and they’d had each other now. He was not going to leave her. The spanish that left his lips was familiar to them both, “You are everything to me, Ana. My life was never complete until I met you. Even when I became what I was, you were the one who showed me that life was worth experiencing with someone by your side. And every moment that we’ve had – I wouldn’t trade it for anything else. I’d give my life for yours if I could – over and over again.”

[lucasxcavallero]

anaxcavallero​:

The rain pelts their window with increasing force, nearly liquid hail in its efforts to shatter this world as Apep no doubt ripped the veil apart. A cure for vampirism was not so easily found, least of all in this mess, and idly her fingers rise to touch along the phantom pain in a slender neck. An indicator of the end. “Is your cure offer still good?” Ana’s voice taunts, but only to mask the unbridled ferocity behind her gaze. She remains within these walls and tempered only by Lucas’ proximity; the very concept that their final moments were limited. “Our time is running out, mi amor. I think we need to have that chat about what happens after.”  @lucasxcavallero​

“I haven’t been able to find the source. More vampires are human, they speak of a man but they don’t know his name.” The phoenix had shifted and searched high and low, flying through the city without finding anyone to give him more information. Lucas still refused that this was the end. While whomever was attempting to take down the veil had clearly started the process, it would not be finished. Lucas had faith that the gods would not allow their creations to fall like this. “Ana, no. We can’t have this conversation. A life without you had already been difficult enough, don’t you get it? Thinking about it again – I can’t do it.” 

[lucasxcavallero]

anaxcavallero​:

“I love you.” Not one person looked at Ana the way that Lucas did, with hope and expectations of a heart that long ago stopped beating for anyone but him. “You expect me to be cured in the eleventh hour?” Frankly, Ana lacked the fortitude to even admit that she had considered it, the idea of seeking out a cure in the final moments for herself and Mateo. To give them an opportunity to survive if all else failed. While she loathed the concept of relinquishing her power, Ana had always been a survivor first and foremost. “It’s a last resort and we don’t even know if it could work. But if that’s how you want to spend whatever time we have left, then try. Tell me what you find and I’ll… consider it.”

“And I love you,” Lucas murmured, pulling his gaze away from hers for a brief moment. The talk about humanity made him wonder if that was something that she even wanted, and the phoenix was never one to hold back a question from his wife. “I don’t know, Ana. But I would like to think that if there was a cure, if there was some way to get you out of Hektor’s debt and from Persephone’s clutches, that you would do it. However...I would never make you do something you didn’t want to. Would you get a cure if you could?”

[lucasxcavallero]

oneiroixnemesis​:

Every attempt they had ever made at cooking was a complete and utter failure, at least, that’s what everyone they had ever cooked for said. The sardine tacos had been inspired but no accounting for taste, usually. “If Kiera has ever served it at Kiki’s, maybe, but I usually just order everything on the menu and gorge myself until I feel like this body is going to burst.” It was fun, passed the time, they hadn’t for a while now, Noah didn’t like sitting around and waiting for the spirit to finish five to six pizzas. “Vampires and cubi I could understand, but me? What did I ever do?” Nemesis asked, somewhat dejected, “I don’t suppose you have any God-stopping ideas?”

-

“Is there something that’s your favorite?” Lucas gave them a small smile, continuing to slave over the stove. Jokes aside, he did enjoy cooking. Ana humored him, and he was glad that the oneiroi would as well. “Not all vampires and cubi decided to become what they are. Those that enjoy it, though? Maybe it was what the fates decided for them a long time ago.” The phoenix paused, glancing at Nemesis again, “I think your kind is an unexpected casualty.” Lucas wasn’t sure there was any other way to put it. “Your magic and your existence is so reliant on the veil. Just like it’s the only thing keeping Ana alive.”

[lucasxcavallero]

anaxcavallero​:

Of course there in the furious hurricane of her grief remained Lucas, a steadfast pillar who kept the vampire upright even in the worst of circumstances. “You’re the only person in this world who’s ever seen the good in me.” Whatever little remained. “There will be no freeing any of us unless a cure for vampirism is found.” And even then, Ana refuses to concede that she would ever take advantage of it. Perhaps in a final hour when all else seemed lost, to keep from vanishing in the destruction of the veil and with the knowledge that her enemies would either dissipate or become human themselves. “We need to discuss it,” she whispered as their features parted from the kiss. “What happens if the veil falls and I’m on the wrong side of that.”

“I’m not the only one, I’m sure. You’re more than you think. Than I think probably, too. You know I’ve always seen the good in you – I’ve seen you for who you are. A passionate woman who is steadfast in her ways. There is no guilt behind ambition. Those that scorn it are just afraid of their own shortcomings.” He put his hand on her cheek, shaking his head, “No. There is no discussion. It won’t happen, Ana. If there is a cure for vampirism, I’ll find it. The veil won’t fall, and you won’t be taken with it. Hektor has taken much from this world, and he won’t take you from me because of this veil.”

[lucasxcavallero]

anaxcavallero​:

“Remind me again why these originals are even useful.” Despite the bitterness in her voice, Ana’s expression softened almost imperceptibly as Lucas coaxed the vampire to face him rather than using their mirror as a conduit. For the best, their bathroom counter might have been in need of replacement if she clenched it any longer. “Besides giving me you, of course.” Were it anyone else, Ana would have forced away their affection, but this was a safe place to crumble. “What horrific person was I in my last lifetime to deserve this one?” Perhaps it was a cyclical prophecy: the gods stole from her and she became monstrous as a result. Repeat ad nauseam. “I’m tired, Lucas. I’m so tired.”

“They created the only creatures on earth that could stop the cubi.” He knew Ana’s question was rhetorical, but in true Lucas fashion, he’d answered it anyway. Pushing some of her hair behind her ear, he met Ana’s gaze. “You know I believe that you deserve the world.” It was true, and no matter how much good luck he tried to give his wife, it seemed like the world and the gods were against that as well. Leaning forward, he pressed a kiss against the vampire’s lips, “If I could take this pain away, I would. If I could free you from Persephone’s grasp, I would. And I won’t ever stop trying.”

[lucasxcavallero]

oneiroixnemesis​:

“I didn’t think she’d mind.” Nemesis admitted, they wondered how it was that Ana had ended up with such a nice man, but they supposed it was a bit similar to their own situation with Noah. Phoenixes, it seemed, were willing to look past a great deal in the name of love. Their smile brightened, “I would love to stay for dinner - what are you making?” Nemesis, like Ana, did not need to eat but they thoroughly enjoyed the process. “We were going to talk about the whole veil thing,” they made a gesture of slicing their own throat with the face to follow as a small gag left their lips. “trying not to die and all that.” 

Nemesis was a funny one – Lucas found it mildly amusing that the oneiroi didn’t pick up on social cues, despite their age. Did they just live blissfully ignorant? Most likely. “I’m making Albondigas. Have you ever tried them?” The phoenix turned on the stove, watching his meal come to life slowly. He leaned back against the counter, a frown on his face now. “Yeah. That’s quite the topic, isn’t it? We’re discussing everything. Especially after the party. The last thing the world needs is the veil to fall. The idea of having no vampires that harm others, or cubi that take souls – it’s enticing to many people. But it’s not right.”

[lucasxcavallero]

oneiroixnemesis​:

@lucasxcavallero​

The spirit had let themselves in, they were hoping to run into Ana, but so far the house was empty. It had all the look and feel of a regal upper-echelon with all the look and feel of… Well, the regal upper-echelon. It was bigger than anyone needed and Nemesis could almost picture Ana hiding bodies under the floorboards if they weren’t so certain the smell would inevitably upset her. The man that Nemesis knew to be Ana’s husband was one that the spirit knew as well, he’d healed their soul almost a century prior. Still, they were surprised to see him despite the fact that this was obviously the phoenix’s home as well. Lucas obviously had immaculate taste in women. “Oh, hey Lucas.” They smiled, “I was looking for Ana, is she around somewhere?” 

Lucas was mildly surprised to see the oneiroi in his living room. Did they even knock? “Nemesis. I didn’t hear you knock or...come in.” The phoenix idly wondered if Ana had told them they had free reign of their home – or if boundaries just weren’t a thing. “She’s not here, but she should be back soon.” He gave a small smile, walking towards the kitchen, “Are you hungry? Thirsty? I was planning on making dinner.” Even if Ana didn’t need it, she humored him most of the time. “Or is there something I can do for you?”