𝙵𝚕𝚘𝚛𝚊𝚕 𝙰𝚏𝚏𝚊𝚒𝚛𝚜 @lucex-nxn-urx - Tumblr Blog

What if God doesn’t want you to find a perfect person, but an imperfect person that will draw you closer to Him? What if God desires you to marry a person with flaws to expose yours? What if God wants to teach you the value and life found in committing to one person forever, Not the exhausting pursuit of searching your entire life to find the perfect person? https://www.instagram.com/p/BzjQBkphUjGmPFEEFrYMbXmNPGIxxrxG062Ym40/?igshid=1sc3ncc3vv7jz

oldfarmhousefallfeatures

goodnight

Days of with my baby girl are spent adventuring, shopping and having lunch together 💕 —— We headed north this morning to watch big brother play some basketball in Mililani... froze our okole off in the cold azz wind! —— Then we spent about an hour walking around @maris_gardens admiring the new addition and all the pretty plants... and I ended up splurging on a String of Pearls plant that I’ve been wanting for a LONG time! So happy I finally own one 😍😍😍 thank you Tanya for talking me in to it lol “expensive” is my favorite word... means it’s WORTH IT 😏😉 —— Now we’re at home having lunch and then gonna take a nap! This day off has been much needed and I’m so happy I got to spend some good quality time with my baby. These are the memories she will remember forever. 💕 ——— Have a good weekend 💋 (at Mari's Gardens) https://www.instagram.com/p/BtrlCOshr509MkcCmqudj3-Rnug_5etRNM4W5U0/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=3xd25mh6cwnh

All the compliments and the “wow!” and “omg so beautiful!” and “I’ve never seen it look so beautiful before!” compliments on my department this week has been... overwhelming. I’m humbled and so grateful that you guys appreciate the hard work and extra effort I put in to make this holiday special from beginning to end for my valued customers. — You guys have no idea how much sweat and tears are shed behind the scenes to get this front end looking BOMB for you. Thank you so much for your love. It truly means sooooo much to me as the head of this floral department. - THIS IS THE REASON I CAME BACK! This is what I LOVE to do. Being in charge and making people’s day by creating beauty with my own two hands... it changes lives and I can see it in your eyes when you watch me build from scratch the beautiful arrangements and bouquets you request me to custom create for you. —— Today was a hard one. This holiday is STRESSFUL. It takes SO MUCH prep and organization and SO MANY HANDS to make it go smoothly... I had a break down this evening. Like... hyperventilating, Rubin-my-makeup-crying, hiding in the warehouse type breakdown because some stuff is not going how it should and as the Manager it falls back on me... and if you know me well, you know that I HATE. to fail... but more than that, I haaaaate to ask for help. I’ll do it all on my own if I have to. But today I just couldn’t. I worked almost 60 hours this week on top of being a full time mom and homemaker. It got me. The Devil made his way in and made me believe I wasn’t meant to do this. Multiple times I said “fuck this.” Multiple times I swore under my breath that I was gonna quit.... but in my breakdown I cried out in prayer and asked God “Am I really supposed to be here?! Am I doing the right thing? Is this really what you need me to do?!” And he said “YES. YOU ARE IMPORTANT. You are VITAL and you affect lives in ways you will not know. Only I know. And only I WILL know. But you need to be here.” You guys. I got chicken skin and immediately stopped crying and said I GOT THIS. ——— Truly. Thank you so much for your love and support. Without you guys idk if I would have come back nor would I stay. So thank you♥️ https://www.instagram.com/p/BtpsIugBDVh_GB42GUF923xUlLtsBycx_zR07Q0/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=19y4d0bg7cywp

Feeling real witchy today 🖤🔮✨ https://www.instagram.com/p/BtoW5UFBKASpFkgqSTb3PyjmX6eqwzJn-TLQW00/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=gemwk516z1ma

Happy anniversary

This was by far the best anniversary we’ve had yet.

Had dinner and drinks at DB Grill in Kapolei and then we watched The Upside.

The food was amazing as always but instead of us scrolling through our phones, this time we talked about our future plans. Goals we have for each other. Things we want to achieve together. Wedding plans. Family plans. It was so nice to be just us two alone for one night. We haven’t had a night like this since Adrianna was born...

It’s been five years since he first nervously asked me to be his girlfriend in the booth of an Outback Steakhouse with nothing to offer but the shirt off his back and the love in his heart. it never has been nor ever will be about money for me. I’m only after his heart and lucky me! I have that and so much more. I’m so proud of the man I’ve watched him become over these years and I always say this, but I really am excited to see the phases he goes through as a man, my husband and life partner until we are old and gray.

Chanandoah Kealiiheleokekai Brester thank you so much for tonight. It was much needed for both of us to reconnect 💕 I love you. Happiest Anniversary. Cheers to the future with you, forever.

(Also want to say very special thank you’s to my sister Desiree for watching Adrianna. And thank you to Chanan’s friends, Augie and Mel for the dinner reservations ♥️ you made this night more special than you know)

The greatest man I’ve ever been blessed to love and be loved by! I love to make you smile and laugh and I pray that we are given an eternity together so I can make sure you’re happy forever 💕 I love you so much @chanandoah. I’m so lucky to have you.

Rip jeans like we rip hearts

I will not be another flower picked for my beauty and left to die. I will Be Wild, difficult to find, and impossible to forget.

#toalltheboysivelovedbefore

I wasn’t ready and it was never your fault. One day you will finally love someone that loves you in ways you could have never imagined 💕

wnq-writers

It’s December, and I have learnt that you can be both strong and fragile, all at the same time. So, when you feel like you have fallen apart so many times before this year, don’t forget the strength that has always been holding you up.

melodramatlc, writing prompt #72, write about December

(via wnq-writers)

I Tried To Drown Myself

I tried to drown myself when I was 12 years old and then suffered and recovered in silence and secret... still... 14 years later, at least once every year, I go through a stage of depression where I try to push away all the people who love me and destroy everything physically and symbolically in my life... because i would rather be dead in that moment.

But every time I go through it, I tell myself... the Future You is going to be SO PROUD that you were stronger than this.

Depression is an illness. Suicide is a symptom. Sometimes it’s the last one.

#depression #suicide #strong #recovery

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