My last letter to you…
You said you loved me every chance you could, it felt like an obligation created by habit than true expression. Those words were fluent in your vocabulary because you knew I longed to be loved. You spoke with ease, you comforted me when I feared the world around me. I was timid at the thought of change, so you coming and going didn't spark a reason for debate, you always came back so that was my reason to stay, my reason to wait. I didn't think of the miles between us or the life you lived without me, I only dreamed of us, we were the only story I replayed. I was emotionally manipulated by your use of words I failed to see the let downs in your actions. I was fooled by your charm I failed to see the toxic cycle forming. I was vulnerable, weak, and yearning... your bait to keep destroying me while making me believe we were closer to being, except we could never be. You were the worst for me. You broke down the walls I worked years building. I let you cross boundaries I couldn't hold in place. I made you my safe place and without you I felt indisposed. I craved you and you played on me and even played me. You had this whole universe without me. You were my hardest heartbreak but my greatest lesson of love. You taught me love shouldn't ever lead to my own demise. You taught me love should always start within. You taught me to love in the most unhealthy way would only destroy me. There was always a reason for us, it just wasn't what I wanted. The attachment was always one sided for a reason, it was to teach me to love with boundaries and proper foundation because in order to be embraced I had to be loved and not allow anyone to demolish me in the process.
