Kinda Emo @luciensvent-blog - Tumblr Blog

This college shit. Really kind of rough. Not the experience i expected and I feel warped. Or put in a box. Or on display. Or a million other fucking things to explain a severe and enduring apathy. I want to feel alive. I want to fucking feel anything. Instead i hear static noise all the time

Hahahaha this shit lame. Im good. Still get bummed every now and then but overall im doing okay. Cant believe i stooped that low over some dumb shit. Bye

Yeah yeah yeah

I miss you. Could you have guessed?

7.26.17

Ok update. Had a lady. Lost her. Sad about it. She was 4 years older than me. She was artistic and lovely. She was kind and caring, supporting me no matter what. I could have loved her. But its done now. Im sad, but not broken in the slightest. I just miss what could have been. Poor love lost..........

Dont care enough to diss you anymore. You obviously still want me to react, to care. I dont. Do your thing, accept your role in life. Im going to live mine.

I get along without you very well Ive forgotten you just like i said i would Of course i have But to hear your name Or your laugh To see your face Or your smile What a fool am i To think my aching heart could kick the blues I miss you sometimes Not often, But sometimes Because ive forgotten you just like i should Except perhaps in spring But i shouldn't think of anything Or you For that will surely break my sore heart in two

SOMETIMES I FEEL LIKE ITS NOT FUCKING WORTH IT AND ILL NEVER GET THERE. FUCK

i want to hit myself on my head until i can no longer see or breathe I want to slam my face into the concrete Until i feel better I hate myself. It can never be undone and i have negatively touched so many lives. Im sorry. I was selfish and i played the victim too many times. Means nothing now but i still wish it could be different.

IM DEPRESSED

I dont want to let go I dont want to let go I want to tell you im sorry and i want to help you. I miss what we had but its not coming back. Im sorry.

#emo today

Bad dream 1.17.16

Vi was dating blue. My dad ci kieran and i went to a restaurant and vi was acting kinda flirtatious and it was confusing and shitty. Kieran didnt help or pay attention at all and neither did my dad. I told vi to stop acting like that, tht i just wanted them to act how they normally would. I think it worked. I dont care much if vi dates blue. I dont have a very high opinion of blue. I don't think hes a very solid, dependable, and responsible guy. But when the idea comes in a dream form it feels almost more realistic and hurtful. I just dont understand Again. We were almost friends. I guess vi holds his opinion in higher regard than whatever friendship we may have had. Oh well.

Why the fuck am i still fucking emo!? Its been Months!!!! What the fuck!!!!!

We were so much and now were nothing. Its all empty. I guess thats the natural progression of things. I wish we could have shown all the "young love never lasts" people something different. Now, not even a hint of friendship. You were on my handlebars and you were so mad and we were just kids. Im sorry. I never want or wanted to hurt you. I was an idiot.

Been in a funk for the past few days and i cant shake it. I feel lazy and self deprecating.

Dam im emo

i wanted to share life with you real bad, but you've made your choices and friendships clear. Dont pull me back again, i dont want to stop.

healingsuggestions

if today didn’t really work out let’s just try again tomorrow

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