Because I know no one gives a fuck and I feel like answering questions.
1.) Would you have sex with the last person you text messaged?
The last 3 people I texted are my dad, mother, and sister. In other words, fucking no. I don’t have people to text who aren’t my parents (my sister was a fluke, I talk to her like once a year during holiday times).
2.) You talked to an ex today, correct?
I have gone out of my way never to come across my ex again. I haven’t seen or heard from her since she left me over 5 years ago. I don’t wish to ever come into contact with her again.
3.) Have you taken someones virginity?
My ex and I lost our virginities to each other.
4.) Is trust a big issue for you?
It don’t know if it’s possible to trust anyone on this worthless rock.
5.) Did you hang out with the person you like recently?
There are no people in my life. That I like or not. My life is empty and devoid of life.
6.) What are you excited for?
I’m going to an anime convention at the end of April that I’m hoping I’ll be able to enjoy, though I’m doubtful. In the near future, my mother will be moving out of our house and my father will be moving in. I’ll be staying here. In some ways, it’s going to be awesome. In other ways it’s going to suck really bad.
7.) What happened tonight?
It’s 11:23am, tonight hasn’t happened yet. Last night, I watched a couple episodes of Da Vinci’s Demons (I’m a season or two behind in every show that I watch. If you try to spoil any of my shows for me, I will murder you. With a plastic spoon.)
8.) Do you think it’s disgusting when girls get really wasted?
I think it’s disgusting when anyone gets wasted. Regardless of gender. I can’t stand being around people who are drinking. It makes me extremely uncomfortable and I just feel like.. embarrassed for the person. Alcohol turns otherwise grown, adult, respectable people into essentially giant infants who can’t stand on their own, can’t speak intelligibly, vomit, do stupid things, etc. It’s really off-putting to see an adult behaving like that. I’ll never understand the appeal and I’m not interested in trying it to see for myself.
9.) Is confidence cute?
I don’t know if cute is the word I’d use to describe confidence. Confidence is attractive. I’m pretty sure that’s a scientifically proven thing. It’s probably why I’ve spent my life alone. I have no confidence. Either that or I’m ugly. Or a shitty person. Fairly certain it’s all of the above. And more.
10.) What is the last beverage you had?
The only beverage I drink anymore is cherry pomegranate V8 Splash, unless I’m at a restaurant, in which case my first choice is always root beer. Otherwise I just get coke/pepsi. Rarely I make up some strawberry milk or have some chocolate milk or hot chocolate. Those three are probably my favorite beverages, even though I never have them. I can’t really drink too much milk these days. I seem to be developing a slight intolerance to lactose, and so I just tend not to drink it. Plus, I can’t stop when I drink chocolate or strawberry milk. It’s like they don’t quench my thirst, so I just keep drinking it and drinking it until it’s gone.
11.) How many people of the opposite sex do you fully trust?
There are only two people in my life at all now who aren’t my family members. My best friend I’ve hardly heard from in the last year. She’s been busy with her job, her boyfriend, and the several other friends she lives with. The other is a college friend. He and I clash all the time and never seem to agree on anything. We mostly just game together online, but even that usually ends up with my being completely enraged at him at some point. There are one or two other people who rarely pop up for a moment to say a thing or do, but that’s basically it. I’m largely alone now. I know none of this answers the question that was asked here, but I felt it was important to really show that the answer to this question doesn’t really matter, since there’s such a small pool to draw from.
12.) Do you own a pair of skinny jeans?
The only pants I own are about as far from skinny as you can possibly get while still being pants and not a dress. My pants are all extremely baggy Tripp pants. I am in desperate need of new pants, though, and I’m not sure what to do about it. These kinds of Tripp pants are extremely expensive now and they haven’t been “cool” in 20 years. I have no idea what to replace them with though.
13.) What are you gonna do Saturday night?
The only thing I know of on Saturday is I think that’s the day Black Sails airs. So with any luck, I’ll be watching that.
14.) What are you going to spend money on next?
I have a Humble Monthly Bundle subscription and I just bought a Photoshop subscription a couple days ago, so those will probably be the next things that come out of my bank account.
15.) Are you going out with the last person you kissed?
I’ve been single for over 5 years. I can’t imagine that’ll ever change. I am useless and invisible. There’s nothing here for anyone to want.
16.) Do you think you’ll change in the next 3 months?
There’s a lot of pressure right now on me to finally get a job. If that happens, my life will change dramatically. If all goes the way it’s supposed to and my father moves in here, I may try and get a cat. I’m in fairly desperate need of a companion and a cat is probably the only option I’ll ever have, so. That could change things a bit for me as well.
17.) Who do you feel most comfortable talking to about anything?
I always felt comfortable talking to my best friend about absolutely anything. She’s just too busy these days. But that’s life.
18.) The last time you felt broken?
I haven’t stopped feeling broken since my ex left over 5 years ago. I just am broken. I don’t see that changing.
19.) Have you had sex today?
I probably don’t need to say it at this point, but as you could guess, I haven’t had sex in close to 5 and a half years.
20.) Are you starting to realize anything?
As Trump gains support, it makes me realize more and more that I’ve been right all along. That the world truly isn’t worth saving.
21.) Are you in a good mood?
Take a guess.
22.) Would you ever want to swim with sharks?
I have no interest in being around aquatic life of any kind for any reason.
23.) Are your eyes the same color as your dad’s?
I have no idea what color my dad’s eyes are. I don’t know the color of anyone’s eyes. I didn’t even know it was odd not to know until my ex said it was. I tried to call her bluff and then she listed off the eye color of every person we mutually knew, including all of my family members that she’d met. I don’t know why I don’t notice anyone’s eye color. I’m probably just broken.
24.) What do you want right this second?
Love.
25.) What would you say if the person you love/like kissed another girl/boy?
There is no such person right now in my life. If there were, I’d be jealous and hurt.
26.) Is your current hair color your natural hair color?
It is.
27.) Would you be able to date someone who doesn’t make you laugh?
Laughter isn’t everything. If her other qualities make up for the lack of humor, why not.
28.) What was the last thing that made you laugh?
I’m not sure. Could have been the Venture Brothers, John Oliver, the Game Grumps. Those are the main comical things I can think of that I’ve seen recently.
29.) Do you really, truly miss someone right now?
I miss Luciene, my best friend, and another friend or two. I knew they’d all be gone eventually. But it still sucks. To say the least.
30.) Does everyone deserve a second chance?
Obviously not. Some people are just shit. Some people shouldn’t have been given a first chance. Cheaters, murderers, rapists, etc. etc. The people that break your mind, your body. Fuck ‘em all.
31.) Honestly, do you hate the last boy you were talking to?
I hate that many of these questions are repeated in every one of these question lists. And I hate how stupid some of them are. Why would anyone be talking to someone they hate? It’s such an oddly specific, unlikely question. Why even ask it? If I hated someone, I wouldn’t be speaking to them. So no.
32.) Does the person you have feelings for right now, know you do?
There is no such person.
33.) Are you one of those people who never drinks soda?
For most of my life, soda was the only thing I ever drank. I switched to cherry pomegranate V8 Splash a few years ago and now that’s all I drink. I try to avoid soda except at restaurants where there isn’t much choice, really.
34.) Listening to?
My Dying Bride.
35.) Do you ever write in pencil anymore?
I do everything digitally that I possibly can. Google Docs are the greatest.
36.) Do you know where the last person you kissed is?
Probably at work.
37.) Do you believe in love at first sight?
You can’t love at first sight. You can only lust at first sight. You can’t love someone you don’t know.
38.) Who did you last call?
My mother. I was picking her up at the airport and trying to find out which door she was waiting at.
39.) Who was the last person you danced with?
I don’t know how to dance. But I was made to dance with my ex and her sister at her other sister’s wedding like 6 years ago. They were bridesmaids and there was a song where the bridesmaids were required to dance with their significant others. My ex’s sister didn’t have a boyfriend at the time, so I danced with both of them.
40.) Why did you kiss the last person you kissed?
Because we were being naughty naughty naughty.
41.) When was the last time you ate a cupcake?
I ate part of a cupcake I didn’t care for that my dad got at Perkins a month or two ago. It was some kind of chocolate cupcake with some sort of strawberry filling (I don’t like fillings) with chocolate frosting and mint chocolate chips on top. The frosting and chocolate chips were good. Didn’t care for any of the rest of it.
42.) Did you hug/kiss one of your parents today?
I haven’t kissed a parent since I was little. I don’t know if I’ve hugged a parent since I was little, either. I can’t remember a time.
43.) Ever embarrass yourself in front of a crush?
Probably many times. But I haven’t had a real world crush since high school. I know when I was in like 7th grade, I was talking to a girl behind me before English class was to begin. She said “You’re blushing” and kind of smiled. I said “I am?” and felt embarrassed because I could feel that I was. I think that ended it, though. I never blushed when talking to girls again after that. Not that talking to girls ever really happened to me.
44.) Do you tan in the nude?
I don’t tan and I don’t understand the appeal. My skin is what it is. I accept it as it is.
45.) If you could, would you take back your last kiss?
No.
46.) Did you talk to someone until you fell asleep last night?
I’ve hardly talked to anyone in months.
47.) Who was the last person to call you?
I got 3 calls like half an hour ago that were probably all related to my massive student loan debt that I’m not paying. The last actual person to call me would have been one of my parents. Unless you count the hospital calling me about my test results.
48.) Do you sing in the shower?
I probably would if I lived alone and had music playing that I knew the words to.
49.) Do you dance in the car?
No. At most I might bang my head a bit for a few seconds. But you can’t really sustain that while driving.
50.) Ever used a bow and arrow?
In high school gym class. It was fun.
51.) Last time you got a portrait taken by a photographer?
Class photos for 11th grade.
52.) Do you think musicals are cheesy?
Musicals just are. I don’t like generalized statements. They could be, they could not be. Each has to be taken on its own.
53.) Is Christmas stressful?
Yes. I hate holidays.
54.) Ever eat a pierogi?
A what?
55.) Favorite type of fruit pie?
I don’t eat pie.
56.) Occupations you wanted to be when you were a kid?
I wanted to be in the NBA. Now I hate sports. Funny how things change so much.
57.) Do you believe in ghosts?
No.
58.) Ever have a Deja-vu feeling?
Not that I know of.
59.) Take a vitamin daily?
No.
61.) Wear a bath robe?
No. Though ask me again in a few months and that may change.
62.) What do you wear to bed?
Because I live with my mother and she sometimes enters my room while I’m asleep, either because she doesn’t know I’m asleep or to drop an item off in my room or to wake me to help her with something or any number of reasons, I wear whatever I was wearing that day. I don’t own any form of pajamas. Once my dad moves in and my mother moves out, I’ll be home alone 95% of the time (because my dad is a truck driver and is only home 6-10 days a month) I expect to return to wearing nothing to bed, like I used to when I was younger and had my door locked at all times.
63.) First concert?
Technically, Weird Al at the Minnesota State Fair, shortly before going into 7th grade. First metal concert was 40 Below Summer, Fear Factory, Chimaira? (I can’t remember if they were there or not), and Slipknot in like 2005.
64.) Wal-Mart, Target or Kmart?
There hasn’t been a Kmart in my area since I was little. My parents always shopped at Wal-Mart, so that’s where I always went. I’d probably consider switching to Target now, but the one in my town literally closed like a week or two ago. I didn’t even know it was there until very recently. It was way off on the other side of town where I rarely go. Not that I ever really leave the house.
65.) Nike or Adidas?
I couldn’t care less about either of those companies if I tried.
66.) Cheetos Or Fritos?
See above answer.
67.) Peanuts or Sunflower seeds?
I don’t eat either of them.
68.) Favorite Taylor Swift song?
I’m not aware of having ever heard a song from her.
69.) Ever take dance lessons?
Nope.
70.) Is there a profession you picture your future spouse doing?
I can’t even imagine having a spouse.
71.) Can you curl your tongue?
No. Fun fact: The ability to do so is genetic. Either you can do it or you can’t. It can’t be learned.
72.) Ever won a spelling bee?
I don’t think I’ve ever participated in one. I probably wouldn’t do well with it. I am terrible at thinking and speaking at the same time.
73.) Have you ever cried because you were so happy?
I’m nearly incapable of crying. I’ve not been able to cry, no matter how sad or depressed I feel, even when I wanted to. There are only two occasions that successfully caused me to cry since I was in 5th grade. Both times were my ex leaving me 5 years ago and 6 years ago respectively. Otherwise, the last time I cried was when I was in 5th grade and I came home from spending the night at my friend’s house to find that my parents had given away my cat.
74.) What is your favorite book?
I really haven’t read any books since grade school. I’m inclined to say The Lovely Bones because that was a really good book, but at the same time, fuck that soul-crushing book of feels.
75.) Do you study better with or without music?
I’ve never studied, so I don’t know.
76.) Regularly burn incense?
Never really have, except when asked to by my mother when I was little or a couple times when asked to by my ex.
77.) Ever been in love?
I wish I could say no.
78.) Who would you like to see in concert?
My Dying Bride, Swallow the Sun, Dimmu Borgir, King Diamond, The Faceless. I’m sure I’m forgetting some. Honestly, though, concert going may be passed. I didn’t enjoy the last concert I went to, even though the bands put on a great show. I think something in me may have died.
79.) What was the last concert you saw?
Butcher Babies, ..shit, I can’t remember what the next band’s name was. It had the vocalist from Killswitch Engage in it but it wasn’t Killswitch Engage. Down, and Black Label Society. Fun fact that my cousin (who I went with) and I learned at the concert: One of the guitarists for Down looks EXACTLY like that same cousin’s dad, if my uncle had a beard.
80.) Hot tea or cold tea?
Never really had tea. I’ve had like a swig or two of whatever random bottled tea here or there across my life time. I don’t remember caring for it at all, but I know there are many kinds of tea and I don’t know how those bottled teas compare to the kinds you prepare yourself or anything. I don’t know anything about tea.
81.) Tea or coffee?
I’ve never had coffee, but I’ve always hated the smell of it, so I assume I wouldn’t like the taste either. Perhaps some day I’ll give it a chance, but today is not that day.
82.) Favorite type of cookie?
My mother makes numerous types of treats and I don’t know if I could possibly pick one over the others. But then again, her chocolate chip cookies are the best in the universe and have always been a part of my life since I was very little, so I think I’ll have to go with that.
83.) Can you swim well?
I can stay afloat and travel short distances. I’ll never win any awards, never make it to shore if dropped 30 miles out, but I’ll never drown in a pool, at least not from an inability to swim.
84.) Can you hold your breath without holding your nose?
Are there people who can’t? Or do you mean going underwater without holding your nose? I used to always hold my nose when going under water when I was little, but I stopped doing that in my teens and haven’t done it since.
85.) Are you patient?
I seem to be a lot more patient than most people. At least for most things.
86.) DJ or band, at a wedding?
As a man, weddings aren’t something I think about. I’ve always been told that women spend their whole lives planning their wedding. For that reason, if I ever get married, I intend to leave the entire thing to my soon-to-be wife. Whatever she wants. It’s her day. I’m just there to make her happy and come out of it with the love of my life on my arm.
87.) Ever won a contest?
No.
88.) Ever have plastic surgery?
No. I don’t think I could ever willingly do that, unless it was some big thing, like reconstructing my face after a horrible accident or something. Modifying my body has always just seemed like a horrifying concept to me. It kind of disturbs me to imagine it. I really don’t know how others do it.
89.) Which are better black or green olives?
I’ve never had either. They look gross, so I was never willing to try them. Yeah, I’m one of those people.
90.) Opinions on sex before marriage?
Have all the sex you want whenever you want (as long as you’re safe and are not hurting anyone and have consent and all that). In fact, waiting to be married to have sex is a pretty terrible idea, in my opinion. Sex is an important part of a relationship, whether you like it or not. Waiting until you’re married to find out your partner is terrible in bed or doesn’t link up well with you would be pretty bad. Like imagine you get married and then find out your new spouse has some bizarre kink that you’re way not into but they can’t get off with out it. That’d be some serious shit. You should really know every aspect of your potential spouse before you decide to make a (supposed) life-long commitment to them.
91.) Best room for a fireplace?
I.. just.. don’t care.
92.) Do you want to get married?
No. That dream died when someone I never dreamed I’d ever be without turned their back on me. No matter how much I feel I love someone and that they love me in the future, I can’t imagine how I could ever trust them not to eventually leave. Hell, my mother and step father have been married for just over 10 years. Now she’s getting ready to divorce the cheating piece of shit. I doubt I’ll ever get the chance, but I would love. But I don’t know how I could ever trust anyone not to leave. Or to cheat. I honestly don’t feel there even is such a thing as a person who wouldn’t cheat. Everyone I know has cheated on someone, or at least a few have been cheated on. One person I know has been all 3. Cheated, cheated on, and been the one someone cheated on their significant other with. I couldn’t take being cheated on. Even though I’m pretty sure I was. At least I didn’t realize it at the time. I don’t think I’d have survived it.
