just watch me

Xander Tarquinius | 24   how much did they have you bleed; how long did they make you suffer; how low did they force you down; how dark did they tint your dreams?

[lucklessxander]

discordandglory‌:

Cat had been carrying order forms for several of the cohorts, as well as a manifest for the head of the forge. However, spotting Xander on her way across the fortress, Cat’s curiosity got the better of her. Hurrying over to her friend, she smiled gently at him. “It’s good to see that you’ve managed to make it back to the Camp. We need everyone we can get.”

Glancing up at Cat he returned the small smile with a slight incline of his head, “Made more sense for me to be down here then stuck in a house somewhere.” He said with a shrug. Nodding a the stack of papers in her hands he asked, “Off somewhere important?”

[lucklessxander]

Xander really hated stairs these days, he hadn’t realised how hard they were to go up when one leg didn’t work like it used to before. Which was why he had moved back into the fourths baracks the first chance he got. No stairs to struggle up there. Throwing his bag on to one of the empty beds Xander let out a satisfied sigh and stretched out his back, feeling an even more satisfying cracking. It didn’t take him long to unpack before he was grabbing his new walking stick with a sneer and making his way back out, heading in the direction of the makeshift armoury. He might not have been able to fight but he could at least attempt to help with the weapons.

[martiemcfliest]

Magic Lamps || Martina & Xander

Date: February 28th, 2018

Martina and Xander sit down and work on maintaining their weapons. For the first time in a long time, they are able to shed the seriousness that war caused. They work on a very serious business proposal. 

Keep reading

[lucklessxander]

the-best-brock-star:

“Any idea how this happened? No one’s told me yet what exactly caused this insanity.” Brock waited until Xander came over to him and he nodded. “Yeah. If you don’t mind.” He lifted his arms, which were now ending at his forearms. “Can’t exactly do it myself.” He opened his lips a little for the straw.

Shaking his head Xander picked up the glass, awkwardly holding the straw for the guy to more easily take a drink. This was not how he expected to spend his dad. “I’ve no idea. They don’t really tell me much these days. But from what I can gather, I don’t think they know how it happened.”

[lucklessxander]

the-best-brock-star:

“Fucking gods, I’m sorry.” Brock looked totally dismayed. He nodded at the man. “Yes. I’m slowly becoming a cats litter box. It feels so weird.” He lifts his arms a little, the edges that are still flesh and bone fall off a bit as they turn more into a sand. “If this thing isn’t fucking fixed soon, I’ll be gone.” He turns his head to the side. “This might be bad to ask, but would you mind giving me that.” He nods his head towards a glass of water with a straw. “Can’t really do it myself.”

Xander shrugs a little, all things considered he’s pretty sure he got off lightly on the curse front. He’d past someone shouting about not being able to see and now he was in a room with a guy literally turning into sand. Rotting food seemed pretty easy. Even if it did mean he couldn’t really enjoy anything. “I’m sure they’ll get it sorted out soon,” he knew it didn’t exactly sound reassuring, more like a fact but it was the best he could manage. “Huh? Oh, yeah sure,” getting up from the bed he walked over the table and picked up the glass, “Do you uh, need me to hold it for you?”

[lucklessxander]

the-best-brock-star:

@lucklessxander

For the time being, until Cat or Bran could find a better place to put the sand-man, a name no one had dare yet use for him, Brock was put in one of the wards for all Romans who had been affected by the roaming curse. He was alone until now, as the guards had decided to room him with another cursed man. “What’s it done to you, friend?”

So far, his transformation into a pile of grains had been slowed. His hands were all but gone, and he was losing his feet as sand rested at his ankles. He’d lost the ability to move, but could still feel the sand as if it were a part of him. 

To say Xander was frustrated would be an understatement. When the curses had first hit he hadn’t immediately seen difference to himself and had assumed - wrongly it would seem - that he was fine. And then he grabbed a quick bite to eat as he hobbled to his next post, and the food at tasted wrong, like it was decomposing on his tongue. So they’d thrown him into a ward to be with the other affected Romans. Limping to the empty bed in the room Xander looked warily at his new ‘roommate’ as he sat down with a small sigh. “Food rots in my mouth,” it seemed so trivial to say as he watched what appeared to be grains of sand over taking the others body. “Is that sand?”

[lucklessxander]

discordandglory:

“War doesn’t kinda suck, it fucking sucks,” she agreed nodding and pausing at his admission. “They blew up the armoury and killed most of the third cohort, on top of being responsible for the destruction of possibly the oldest symbol of Rome that we had left. They’re dangerous and this isn’t even their home. They can’t just come and take what isn’t theirs.”

Xander listened to what she said and nodded slowly. He knew all this. And he knew he hated them for the destruction they had caused to his home, were still causing. But it all suddenly felt too much. And hadn’t they themselves once nearly destroyed the Greeks home? Letting out a sigh he said, “I know all that but...I don’t know. It just feels like no one is really going to win this. Either way we’ve all lost something we wont get back.” 

[lucklessxander]

discordandglory:

“If we don’t work for something, what value does it have?” 

She paused for a moment and sighed. “I hope that everyone who needs it is given the time that they need to heal, however as you said, this is a war. We do not always have that luxury.” Pausing for a second, she pullled her hair back into a tight bun. “No, but they represent the spirit and the will of Rome. Isn’t that what we’re fighting for?” 

Xander wasn’t sure what to say to that, but he knew that he didn’t like that he had to work so hard for something that had come naturally to him on a few weeks before. “War kinda sucks doesn’t it?” The words came out before he really thought them through, but there was no taking them back now as he gave her a closed lip smile and sad head shake. And while he was on his role of speaking truth Xander shrugged at her, “Honestly Cat, I don’t know what we’re fighting for anymore.”

[lucklessxander]

discordandglory:

Having felt her own wounds heal over the course of the war, but wounds were the only way to win wars. “Healing from wounds like this is a difficult and tedious process, if there were a way to do it more easily, but things that come easily aren’t always worth it.” Pausing for a second, Cat ran a finger over the outline of the pommel of her sword. 

“Take your time, there’s no need to cause yourself anymore pain, allow yourself to heal and return to us when you are ready.” Pausing for a moment, she dipped her head and sighed. “Minor skirmishes along the battle lines, but for the most part not much. The senate are working on a master plan of some kind, not that they’ve elected to share it with me of course.”

Xander wanted to call bullshit on that. Healing from a wound inflicted during a war shouldn’t have to be a long strenuous process. That’s what the fighting was supposed to be, recovery shouldn't have to feel like a second fight. But he held his tongue and instead gave her a small nod, not particularly wanting to get into a discussion about it anyway, “I suppose so.”

“Do you think anyone has enough time to heal properly? It’s war. I’ll rest when it’s over.” Or when he was dead in the ground. But he didn’t say that out loud, instead he frowned at her next words. “One day they’ll learn that keep things a secret from the rest of us doesn’t actually affect the final outcome. They’re not even the ones out there fighting this damn war.”

[lucklessxander]

discordandglory:

Pausing for a second, Cat noticed Xander pause, stumble and then swear. She had read the report that he had been injured and she had even sent her condolences to the Tarquinius family for their loss. An injury like this could spell disaster for a soldier, though she was certain that Xander would find a way to rectify this problem. 

“How is the injury healing?” she asked quietly. Injury was another casualty in this war, but she wouldn’t allow one of Rome’s loyalists to feel the pain of an injury. Pausing for a moment, she looked at him concerned. “Do you think that you’ll be back on active duty soon?” 

He could sense someone watching him, and was glad when Cat merely spoke to him and didn’t offer any assistance. The last thing he wanted right now was pity or help. Especially from someone he knew. “Slowly. And painfully,” he said through gritted teeth and he got on to his knees.  With a grunt and another hiss of pain Xander pulled himself to his feet, wobbling sightly as he tried to find his balance again without the support of anything. 

Taking a few deep breaths through his mouth, out through his nose, Xander found his balance and finally, actually looked at Cat. He gave her a closed lip smile, just a small tug at the corners of his lips. It was the best he could muster up. “I plan to be back as soon as I can. Another week at least.” Xander knew that would be pushing it, but he couldn’t stand to be doing nothing for another day. He need the distraction. “What have I missed around here anyway?”

[lucklessxander]

Xander hated bed rest. He hated being told to ‘sleep, rest, you need to get heal’. He especially hated the way his father had been to visit him once, seen he was alive, shook his head in disappointment and left. Xander really hated not knowing if the disappointment stemmed from him still breathing or from him having gotten injured in the first place. He really hated that the answer could be either option. It had been one long week of bed rest, followed by an even longer week of his mother fussing and his sister gossiping. But had pulled himself out of bed that morning, leg aching from it’s wounds, but determined to get back to work. There was still a war to be won and Greek to be...well Xander wasn’t sure what was to be done about the Greeks anymore. As much of their blood now covered the ground as the Romans. His mind still called for a fight, for more blood, for revenge. But Xander was pretty sure his heart was trying call for a different path.

The walk into Camp was painful and slow, but he made it. He took a moment to rest outside the still destroyed armories, sitting on a overturned bucket that had been abandoned as attention had been dragged elsewhere. Stretching his leg out in front of him Xander winced as muscle and skin pulled beneath bandages and sweatpants. If he focused in on the pain, he could remember the exact moment he felt the sword slice through his calf, his thigh. Whatever had been on the blade had made the healing process slow, even with the help of nectar. With a sigh and a grunt, Xander stood up, biting his lip hard as he put weight on his leg again. He took all of half a step forward before his leg gave a sudden pain full twitch and he gave out, sending him falling the floor with a startled gasp. “Fuck,” he hissed out between clenched teeth.

[ledger-heath]

In your life sometimes, you feel such a big change coming on and you feel you’re trying to go back to how things were.

[lucklessxander]

sxnoftrivia:

Marcus shook his head at the pack of cigarettes. He used to smoke socially, but after smoking too many too fast, the taste now makes him feel sick. He did, however, pull a packet of M&M’s out of his pocket and bit it open before offering them to the other kid. “Oh wait,” He said quickly, pulling the packet, “I’m Marcus Acardi.” he presented the packet of M&M’s back to the other, “Now it’s not taking candy from a stranger.” He remembered the rule that he had learnt once as a kid. Not that he was allowed any sort of candy as a kid anyway. 

M&M’s were the last thing Xander expected the other boy to offer him and for a moment he just stared at them with his brow furrowed before blinking away his confusion. “Oh. Uh Xander Tarquinius. Nice to meet you,” he said with a polite smile and small nod. Xander hesitated a moment before swapping his cigarette to his other hand and reaching into the bag for a few M&M’s. “Thanks. You’re in the first, right?”

[lucklessxander]

discordandglory:

“No,” she said and shook her head, “If I start smoking real cigarettes then I doubt that I’ll have the energy to stop and that is an extra voice that I could be doing without.” She swallowed a cloud of smoke and exhaled through her nose, sending it shooting out in two individual spouts of smoke. “I’ve noticed the good work that you’ve done for Legion, it is impressive to say the least.”

“Got a stronger will power then I do,” was all he said, tucking the pack back away in his pocket and tapping ash off the end of the one in his hand. Xander wasn’t sure why the smell of smoke calmed him and made his mind feel quite, but it did. Maybe he should find a healthier coping mechanism. Maybe yoga? Xander shrugged, not sure how to take that compliment? Statement? “I’m just doing what I have to and what I’m told is all.”

[lucklessxander]

sxnoftrivia:

Marcus had been training a few Cohort members the whole day, and with countless responsibilities being placed on his shoulders, even a son of Titus needed to escape for a second. “I’m not here to do either of those.” He said as he collapsed down onto his haunches alongside the other. “I don’t even know which Cohort you’re in, so it’s not like I have the right to reprimand you. Besides, I’m here, doing the same thing as you, escaping.” 

Xander didn’t recognise the boy who had joined him, but that didn’t matter right now. As long as no one was here to reprimand him Xander was fine to keep the company. Escaping. That was a strange way to put it, but he supposed the boy wasn’t wrong. They were technically escaping the strain of rules and order and war. Pulling out his packet of cigarettes he offered them to the other boy, “Want one?” 

[lucklessxander]

canemnecredite:

With the shortage of Centurions left in Camp Jupiter, Adriana had been struggling to balance overseeing the Fourth and working towards the reconstruction of the armoury. Though it was doubtful the beloved establishment would be entirely resurrected in the midst of the war, it was imperative that they salvage what they could, clear the rubble, and set up a temporary shop to manage the distribution of weapons. With the shortage caused by the armoury’s destruction and the limited influx of resources, they would need to be systematic about where they were entrusting their arms.

While running back and forth between responsibilities, Adriana had been leaving the Fourth in the capable hands of her senior legionnaires. It wasn’t the most exciting job, but they (for the most part) had seemed ready to step up and lend a hand. She wasn’t shocked when she turned the corner to find Xander breaking for a smoke. Honestly, who didn’t need a break these days? “Reprimand you? Hardly.” Slow strides brought her over to where he stood. Sighing, she leaned back against the wall of the building and rested her eyes, if only for a moment. “On the contrary, I rather envy you. I’ve hardly had time to break, let alone sleep.” After blinking her eyes open, she turned them in his direction. “I know it’s not the easiest job, but believe me, I couldn’t be more grateful for your help.”  

He gave Ardiana a tight lipped smile at her words; despite everything going on it still felt a little awkward to talk so candidly or to be caught doing something he probably shouldn’t be so close to the barracks. “You can tell,” Xander winced as soon as the words left his mouth, “I mean, you look tired is all. Not bad. Just...just tired.” He took another drag of his cigarette before anything else came out his mouth to make the situation worse. With a shrug he slowly turned his eyes back in her direction and gave her another smile, though this one was more relaxed and honest. “Don’t mention it. Couldn’t just leave you in the lurch, it’s probably hard enough when there’s two of you.” Xander trailed off, not sure if he wanted to broach the subject of their missing centurion or not.

[lucklessxander]

discordandglory:

The past few weeks had been difficult for Cat, swallowing she reached into her pocket and pulled out the e-cigarette she had sheepishly bought. She couldn’t keep smoking cigarettes but she needed something to keep her going, so a cheap vape had done the job. “I don’t give a shit what you do in your free time, I’ve seen the good work you’ve done, if you were pulling legs off of a grass hopper I’d look the other way, I’d be concerned, but I’d still look the other way.

At the sound of a voice he recognised Xander relaxed a fraction - not that he’d been too tense before hand. After the last few weeks he had stopped really caring so much about what people thought of his bad habits. Raising an eyebrow at both the e-cigarette and the comment about grasshoppers Xander said, “I’d hope you’d be a little more than concerned if there wasn’t a war going on. I can give you a real one if you want.” He waved his own cigarette in the air a little.