summary: it is a truth universally acknowledged that a fast driver must be in want of a girlfriend—oscar piastri just didn’t expect his to be a twitter menace.
author’s note: jam is just a nickname that yn goes by online, which is good for security on the internet. stay safe kids !
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liked by landonorris, yourbestfriend and 20,838 others.
yourusername: girl date w/ bffname. jam, books and the winter air. what could be better?
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user1: WAHT?!
— user2: omg she wasn’t joking she’s actually that gorgeous.
user3: sorry you’re so pretty i’m taken aback. i assume that all ppl who argue online r hideous trolls but you’re clearly not. sorry. i apologise.
user4: did u buy your namesake?
— yourusername: ofc!! spent my paycheck on new ones. i’m the proud mama of two strawberry jams 😽
user5: LANDO LIKED YOUR POST
user6: literally drop the skincare routine rn or i’m calling the authorities.
– yoursername: genetics + water + spite <3
user7: girl what books did u get i need the haul
– yoursername: east of eden, the glass castle and some other classics!! i’ll post a proper vid later if you’d like <3
user8: lando liked… HE’S WATCHING.
– user9: he’s been watching. oscar is shaking.
user10: okay but imagine arguing with someone online and then finding out they look like this. i’d delete my account.
– user11: user3 already went through all five stages of grief in these comments.
user12: winter air is nice and all but i feel like oscar should be here warming you up just saying!!
friend: girl date and no invite?! feeling betrayed rn …. 😓
— yourusername: ur in australia but i apologise. we should have walked through land and sea. next time i see u i owe u a matcha for the trauma babe 😞
— friend: a decent apology. i accept it 😽
user13: she fights, she reads, she stuns… what CAN’T she do?
– yoursername: parallel park.
user14: not me zooming in to confirm this isn’t an ai-generated model.
– yoursername: sorry to disappoint, i’m very real and very chronically online.
subject: you’re invited – race weekend with mclaren
hi jam,
we hope you’re well. we’ve been following your incredible f1 content and couldn’t help but notice your… passionate defence of a certain quiet australian. it’s safe to say the team (and the driver in question) are fans.
we’d love to invite you to join us for the upcoming grand prix weekend as our guest. paddock access, behind-the-scenes moments, and yes – proper tea and snacks included.
let us know if you’re available and we’ll sort everything on our end, including travel and accommodation. we think you’ll have a lot of fun.
looking forward to hearing from you.
cheers,
the mclaren team.
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liked by alexandrasaintmleux, yourbff and 45,838 others.
yourusername: hotties make some noise! (all u haters that say matcha tastes like grass r BABIES!!!)
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user1: i would recognise my goat’s hand anywhere… by touch alone, by smell; i would know him blind, by the way his breaths came and his feet struck the earth. i would know him in death, at the end of the world.
— user1: my boo bear. my king. my reason. my oscar.
— user2: lando get off ur burner.
— user3: ICB LMFOAJDHEISJDN ?!38393&:
user4: jam ily. u taste good in matcha too. multi-use queen <3
— yourusername: says the most gorgeous girl in recorded human history. omg blushing rn 😝
user5: u could say cement tastes good and i’d try it.
user6: jam you’re so fine it’s honestly starting to feel like a personal attack
user7: OSCAR DATING AN F1 OBSESSED GIRL YASSSSS
— user8: me and jam as the mclaren wags. i can see it now.
user9: the middle pic is giving “soft launch” and i’m spiraling
— yourusername: it’s giving “he paid for the matcha so i had to post him”
user10: is ur name really jam?
— yourusername: not legally or professionally or personally but yea :)
user11: the way jam is so unhinged on twt but is the sweetest ever on ig needs to be studied….
— user12: like on twt when she threatened to pull up on that guy who was saying awful things about oscar and he deactivated all his socials??? vs on ig where she goes to farmers’ markets like a granny 😭
user20: if oscar doesn’t soft launch you back i’m rioting
— yourusername: pls i’d settle for him texting back within 3-5 business days
— user21: NOT OSCAR FUMBLING BAD BITCHES NOOOO
— user22: @/oscar GET UPPPPPP!!!!!
— user23: WTFFFFFFFFF STOP THIS MADNESS @/oscar
— user24: if i had a baddie like this i would do anything she asks… jam says jump? i say how high… oscar u need that energy NOW!!!!
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