useful/fun character development questions for couples
there are a lot of “otp questions” lists out there but I just wanted to make a list that was specifically helpful for writers, especially for working out the technical stuff of conveying Romantic Love. so, here ya go, stuff to answer for each character
What, specifically, was the catalyst for their physical attraction (if applicable) to the other character? In other words, what in particular had them like “Oh, they’re…hot…”
Does this change over time? What things do they find “hot” about their partner after they’ve been together for some time, and have had more time to, well, notice and appreciate?
By contrast, what was the moment that first made their ~heart~ Soft for the other person? Not necessarily a conscious realization of “I love this person,” but a moment that had them like “Oh…I adore them…”
Does this change over time? What will always reliably make them melt with how much they adore the other character?
How do they consciously realize that they like the other character? Does it take them a while?
How do they react to the realization that they like the other character? Is it an “oh my god I’m never going to think about this again” thing, or are they pretty comfortable with it?
Do they (or would they) pursue the other character’s affection, and if so, how? Do they tell the other character how they feel? Try to earn their admiration? Woo them with romantic gestures? Flirt with them, skillfully or otherwise?
What do they think about romantic love? Do they have baggage surrounding it? Do they idealize it? Is it an object of longing and wanting, or were they really not thinking about it until they started falling for the other character? What are their expectations like?
What do they think about commitment? Is a long-term partnership the goal? Are they thinking about building a life with their partner, or are they focused on the present?
What scares them about entering a relationship?
What fears, past traumas, etc. would be hardest for them to talk about with their partner?
How much independence do they prefer in a relationship—do they want to share their lives as much as possible with their partner, or do they prefer to mostly do their own thing and let their partner do their own thing?
What is their go-to for making a partner feel loved?
What makes them feel loved? Would they build up the courage to ask for it?
What, for them, constitutes a level of intimacy that they would only rarely share with someone? This can be physical, emotional, etc.
If they had the ability to just spend free time with their partner, what would they do? Would they go out or stay inside?
Under what circumstances would they want to be left alone by their partner?
They’re going through something incredibly difficult—perhaps they’re very sick, have lost a loved one, or have gone through a traumatic event. Do they ask for or accept support and care from their partner, or try to isolate themselves?
Are they okay with public displays of affection? Do they like them?
When would they say “I love you?” Do they say it first? Do they say it often, or is it reserved for special moments?
If sex is something that would be part of a relationship for them, do both or either of them have prior experiences? If not, how do they feel about it?
What does sex mean for them? Socially, religiously, what attitudes are they bringing with them? Is “virginity” something they care about? Do they want sexual experiences to occur within a certain “level” of relationship, or does that not really matter so much to them?
How comfortable are they talking about, and openly communicating during, sex?
What would their partner do that would really turn them on, perhaps unintentionally?
They accidentally hurt or upset their partner. What happened? How do they respond? What do they do to make their partner feel better?
They have an argument with their partner—what is it about? Do things stay respectful, or is there some shouting and accusing going on?
They have to apologize to their partner. Is this difficult for them? How do they approach it?
How do they feel about the prospect of parenthood? Do they plan on it? How would they react if they suddenly found out they were going to be a parent?
What compromises are they making in their relationship?
What completely petty topic (music taste, favorite food) do they find themselves completely at odds with their partner about?
What little thing do they find incredibly (though harmlessly) annoying about their partner?
How do their friends react to finding out they’re a couple? Do they have lots of mutual friends? Did their friends know, perhaps before they themselves did?
Under what circumstances would they feel jealous?
Under what circumstances would they feel protective?
Would they get a pet? What kind? Who brings up the idea, and who takes a little longer to convince?
