Lhucii's Berlogg

Welcome to the blog of a twenty year old British transwoman. I'm Lucy, female pronouns and I live the majority of my life pretty stealth so if you ever see me please bare that in mind!

[lucycadence]

I still can’t believe that this has happened. It was something completely out of my control and i’ve just lost every little bit of confidence I have. I don’t really want to go in to detail on my public blog, but free to ask questions. Over the last few days i’ve been constantly misgendered and it’s so utterly demoralising. My friend is helping me with a GoFundMe to help me get a proper wig fitted that will be suitable for full time use. The link for the GoFundme is:  https://www.gofundme.com/296fpv8 If anyone can contribute even a small amount or even signal boost, it would really mean the world to me. Thank you, Lucy <3 

[lucycadence]

Tattoo in Thailand such a good place to get HIV/AIDS... most needles/equipment is 2nd hand there... there`s always reports of infections on Google it... ps, there 2 new versions of HIV that are drug resistant... and something much worse than HIV/AIDS too...

Don’t worry. My tattoos where done in high end studios back here in the UK. So no HIV for me. Unfortunately however, I did pick up Zika virus while out in Thailand :(

[lucycadence]

Oh, I also got my first tattoo too, a thai fairy emerging from her cocoon. <3

[lucycadence]

Surgery Day: 42

So, I guess I have a bit to write about! First thing though, i’m sorry for not keeping the bog updated. Once I got out of hospital I was just pretty much asleep or busy all the time and the blog fell by the way side. But since the last update, everything’s gone well and I’ve continued to heal well. Only problem i’ve really had was the damage of being sat down for 14 hours on the flight home. When I went to dilate again after the flight, I was a bit shocked by the amount of extra swelling. It seems to be going down a bit now though. Since returning home, things have been pretty normal, other than having to get three dilations in a day. Which is starting to become far more difficult and painful. General pain has gotten worse too, as nerve endings reconnect, you feel a lot more and it just all hurts. I’m going to be uploading a few photos from Thailand soon. Anyway, i’m too tired to type, so bye!  Btw, feel free to ask any questions :) - Lucy

[lucycadence]

Surgery Blog

Hey, I've been lacking a bit on surgery Blog updates now, it's getting a but difficult now with all the dilation and checkups. Also being very tired. So I'm really sorry I've not updated in a while. But I should get a other post up tonight covering the last few days :)

[lucycadence]

Nine days post op and feeling fucking amazing.

[lucycadence]

Surgery Blog: Day 6

The doctor came to see me first thing in the morning, at around 5:30 am to check that my packing incident hadn’t caused any damage, and luckily, it hadn’t! It also meant that i’d skipped the process of having my packing removed and the doctor decided to move me straight on to dilation a day early as everything was looking good. He also decided to remove my catheter to see if I could urinate as my urethra was looking pretty good.  My first dilation was interesting. And pretty damn painful, which is obviously to be expected. Shoving 7 inches of glass into a cavity that was very recently populated with organs is never going to be pleasurable. After the half hour of insertion, I was taught how to properly clean up after, a process which I quickly forgot. (oops!) After the dilation, I really had the urge to go to the loo, probably the pressure of the dilator, who knows? So off I went to the toilet aaaaandddd.. success! I could urinate! First try and I get a good steady flow. News good enough I could go back to the hotel a day early! An opportunity I most certainly took as I was so damn sick of the hospital. I got picked up at around 1pm by the clinic mini bus and taken back to the hotel, where a nurse helped me unpack my things and got me ready to dilate again. Luckily, my dilation went well again and I was a lot more with it this time so I retained a lot more information. The nurse also asked if I’d be up to the beach trip the following day, something I wouldn’t have done if I hadn’t been out of hospital a day early. I wasn’t sure if i’d be strong enough for it but I knew my mum really wanted a chance to go to the beach so I said yes. Having been up so early, I was utterly shattered by around 6pm and ordered some food from room service, that I forced myself to eat, purely because I can’t take my pills on an empty stomach. I then tucked in to bed and slept through until the morning. The last few days have been a whirlwind, but it's left me feeling just so incredibly happy and relieved, I can now look in to a mirror naked and for the first time in my life, genuinely smile.  ~~ Lucy <3 

[lucycadence]

Surgery Blog: Day 5

Today was finally the day I had my dressings removed and got to see downstairs for the first time.

The doctor nurse came along at about 8am to remove the dressings and check for sensation, which seems to be very good. I got a good look with my little mirror and it’s fair to say, it’s not pretty! Very swollen and covered in stitches, but that’s to be expected so soon post op. The nurse then slowly got me up out of bed, which was a massive relief after laying in the same spot for so long and she then walked me over to the bathroom to have a shower. Moving to the shower was a tricky process due to the very stiff legs and catheter, but I got there. The shower felt amazing. And it was such a relief to finally wash my hair and have a little bit of private time to inspect my new anatomy. Afterwards, I dried off and got back in to bed for another snooze.  I woke up again at around 5pm and for the first time, I needed the loo. So I called the nurse and she got me up and took me to the toilet. However, while doing my business, my packing (internal bandages) fell out in to the toilet bowl, followed by a lot of blood. I knew these weren’t meant to come out for another few days yet and the amount of blood really scared me. I called the nurse again, and she reassured me it’s not the end of the world and is actually fairly common. The toilet incident had left me pretty shaken up and in a lot of pain though, so I was given another morphine shot and I drifted off too sleep and slept through the night.

~~ Lucy <3

[lucycadence]

Surgery Blog: Day 2 - 4

Time for another update. I’m condensing these days in to one post as not a lot has really happened. After surgery on Wednesday i’ve done nothing other than lie in bed watching National Geographic, talking to friends on Facebook and sleeping. It’s pretty boring, but the doctor says not getting up for the first week is important for the healing process.  The last three days have all been the same, breakfast at 7am, bed bath at 8am, lunch at 1pm then dinner at around 7pm. This wouldn’t be too bad, but the hospital food is AWFUL.

This was last nights dinner of ‘chicken with vegetable’

Luckily though, Dominos Thailand’s website both has the ability to place orders online and has an English setting. Woo hoo! Sorry that this update has been lacking, but there’s just not been much to post about. My dressings come off tomorrow and i’ll get my first look, so that should be a more exciting update. But ta ta for now! ~~ Lucy <3

[lucycadence]

Surgery Blog: Day 1

The Big Day!

Sorry for not updating yesterday, after coming round from the aesthetic, there was no way I was going to manage a blog post.I was was woken up at around 5:30am after a really good night sleep. I was expecting to be like a kid on christmas eve, but I actually slept really well which was great. But when I did wake up, I was so thirsty it was awful. And for some reason, I wasn’t even allowed a sip of water. So frustrating. From this point on, a nurse stayed with me to help me through prep, basically making sure everything is properly washed and disinfected, getting me in to my gown, etc. This took a couple of hours and I was finally taken away for theatre at 8am.Arriving in the theatre was quite daunting. Being surrounded my people, none of which speak good English, examining you and preparing all sorts of tools around you. One of the nurses inserted a cannula at this point and explained that I have to wait for the surgeon and anesthetist. They arrived shortly and the anesthetist started to prepare his equipment and told me to count down from 10.Then next thing I know, I’m in a different room, surgery’s all done. First thing I did was ask a nurse for the time, and she told me it was about half past three. A huge relief for me as that meant my surgery had only taken 5 hours, the amount of time it should have. I was then wheeled back to my hospital room and went to sleep. Only to be interrupted by the hourly blood pressure and temperature checks.So i’m pleased to say, so far, so good! I should be writing the next instalment later this afternoon to catch up, but until then, see ya! ~~ Lucy <3

[lucycadence]

Surgery Blog: Day -1

So, day two.

Last night I really couldn’t get to sleep. Pretty sure it was a mix of jet lag and nerves. I gave up trying to sleep at around 6am and just got ready to go for breakfast.

Breakfast in the hotel was interesting. I never knew rice and fish for breakfast was a thing. This culture really does fascinate me. In the end all I ate was a a sort of fried scrambled egg and some strangely sweet bread.

After that I went back to my hotel room and got my bits ready for my week long hospital stay. I got picked up at noon and driven to the hospital for admission.

Once I got checked in to the hospital, I was pleasantly surprised to find that there’s a dedicated SRS ward and my rooms rather large, with WiFi and a TV (even though National Geographic is the only working English channel).

I had a small lunch at around 2 o'clock and then finally managed to get some rest. Next, I was woken up by the anaesthesiologist at about 7 o'clock for a brief discussion over what type of anaesthetic will be used. Shortly after he left, a nurse came in to do some more pre surgery prep, this time in the form of an enema which I was initially dreading but it really wasn’t too bad.

Then finally, I got back in to bed, wrote this blog post and now I’m going to try and get some more sleep before the big day tomorrow.

~~ Lucy <3

[lucycadence]

Surgery Blog: Day -2

Hey, welcome to the first post of me blogging about having surgery. Yes, I know i’ve been very quiet and haven’t mentioned it yet, but yes it’s happening. And in two days actually! My date is the 17th of February. I’m having full SRS with Dr Suporn in Chonburi, Thailand. I’m already there and today was my first day of appointments. I could have started this yesterday but a post about a 13 hour flight and checking in to a hotel is no fun. I’m going to be here for 4 weeks as I need to recover enough to fly home at the end. Luckily I have some company out here in the form of my Mum. So here we go, this is what I got up to today. I got picked up from the hotel lobby at around midday and taken to the hospital for my first pre-op checks, nothing major; blood test, height, weight and a chest X-ray. This would have all been straight forward but the nurses didn’t speak any English and it’s quite hard to say ‘take off your bra and stand here’ with only hand gestures.  After that, I got a lift over to my surgeon’s clinic where I filled in all my paper work, met my surgeon and was introduced to my ‘Thai Boyfriends’, a set of glass dilators which i’m sure i’m going to soon become very familiar with.  I also had a brief psychological test which was interesting as the psychiatrist spoke very little English and he formed his opinion on nothing more than two pictures I was asked to draw. Hmm..  Also while at the clinic, I met a whole host of other trans girls who where recently post op and we had a good chat. It was great to get so much advice from people that had just gone through what i’m about to. We also made plans to eat together in the hotel’s Chinese restaurant as we’re all staying in the same hotel. Dinner was interesting, eight of us sat around the table tucking in to some lovely authentic cuisine while loudly discussing our genitals. It’s fair to say, Mother was a bit mortified! After that, I had a nice chat with the boyfriend on Skype and now i’m curled up in bed writing this blog post. I’m going to try and keep this updated as regularly as possible, but I’m sure there’s going to be days where either nothing happens and it’s not worth writing about or I’m really not feeling up to writing. So that concludes my first surgery blog post! Woo! See you tomorrow!  ~~ Lucy <3

[lucycadence]

Yes, I deleted my last post.

I’m still here though, and doing okayish.  Anyway, Merry Christmas to all my lovely followers! And people should IM me! I like this new feature :)

[lucycadence]

Happy birthday to you! :)

Thank you! <3

[lucycadence]

Yay, happy birthday me :)

[lucycadence]

lol my last post was 4 months ago.

[lucycadence]

Do you ever post any full nude pictures of your gorgeous sexy body?

Nope. I really don’t think there is any need to post naked photos. If I did it would just be to fuel the trans fetishists and while it may gain me a few followers, it’s certainly not worth selling my dignity for.