[lucyjvan]

Yellow green and blue, i write birthday letters for you, with your favorite colors, singing your favorite songs, hoping you'd choose me for once, holding me close. To see me through and to know the truth— That it is not I who loved you first, but will always be the one who will love you more.

Though you may need not want me, always the least, always the last— i still long for you to be the mother you never were.

[ghostwritingnightmares]

[fervi-g]

Autumn Sonata (1978) dir. Ingmar Bergman Lady Bird (2017) dir. Greta Gerwig

[regretfulgirls]

Me after any interaction with my mother

[lucyjvan]

If only i could squeeze myself hard enough to fit right into her heart, tolerate the throbbing agony some more while i bleed my own to death then maybe— Just maybe, she'd love me the way i want her to.

[lucyjvan]

Jealous of the butterflies that were patient enough to wait for their wings to grow

[lucyjvan]

I'd often look back at every memory we've created in such a small amount of time and i always remembered it like it was yesterday.

God forbid i'll ever forget.

[lucyjvan]

Her heart ached for the future they could've had, the dreams that were crushed by reality. A whole beautifully written chapter crumpled up and thrown away— like a glass that was meant to be shattered into pieces and break their hearts.

How can one love someone so much it hurts?

[lucyjvan]

My mother will love everyone else before she loves me