diluere

lu han / leon. vanguard — prostitution.

[luhanxmi-blog]

❝ alpha hotel

[angereve]

the cold rolled over his skin in small waves that pricked and pulled, seemed to cool, seemed to freeze. daehyun met this with restraint–he hated the days where he’d patrol in weather that went against him, whether the frigid winter or a pestering rain. those were the pair he could least stand, though, at least, the area he was watching was quiet, perhaps even peaceful. it left him with little to do other than observe the passing crowds, eyes always vigilant for any signs of suspicion. at times he even played with the doves, fed them the rest of his sandwich; sometimes he’d look at his watch, which always ended in the grueling reminder of how slow the seconds unfolded.

he was in the middle of counting, noting that his shift was about to end, when an unfortunate bump against a civilian sent him into a quick apology for the mistake, a quiet hope that everything could be settled without anger. yet, when he looked, his brows knit together and his head tilted; his brain remembered to work, tried to tell him from where he knew him. it hadn’t been the first time he’d seen him, perhaps somewhere else, some time ago, though he couldn’t recall details. and he blinked, confused at the man’s word, caught off guard–there was an empty spot in his mind where, he was sure, was important information regarding this person.

“sorry, but why would we need to talk?” he answered, his confusion genuine. “if it’s about the bump, I’m terribly sorry, i wasn’t watching my steps. but other than that i don’t see why we would need to talk.” after a short pause he added carefully. “do I know you?”

[luhanxmi-blog]

luhan stared. instead of flipping his shit, he tried to shrug away the incredibly offensive implications, but they clung onto him like a leech. he was memorable — hell, if his services weren’t enough, he would be thrilled to be remembered for some spur of insanity. anything was better than being forgotten. what was even more humiliating was that he recognized the other without a blink. maybe it was a good sign. luhan was rarely fit into a fool’s suit, but there was no knowing how many people this guy had shared his bed with. 

his nostrils flared as he released an even exhale. “i went batshit crazy over a watch last time we saw each other,” he stated unapologetically, refusing to show his mortification with this position. frankly, he was still irked by the fuzzy memory. he needed an explanation; closure. the number of times that minhyuk had twisted him into some psychotic manic outnumbered the fingers on his two hands (and he hadn’t lost any quite yet). 

briefly, he considered whether it was unlawful to drag an officer away from his post. surely executing any force on a policeman was frowned upon. even if he could be arrested for one hundred and one reasons right now, he was dimwitted enough to fret over a small shove. strangely, he was conscious of authority. so, with a subtle tilt of his head to the side, he raised a brow. this wasn’t a conversation that he wanted to have in the middle of the sidewalk.

[mixcarnage-deactivated20170825]

[text: 루한] You’re not very helpful

[luhanxmi-blog]

[ sᴍs ➟ ᴊsᴜᴄᴋ ] and you’re not very friendly, but you don’t see me complaining

[ sᴍs ➟ ᴊsᴜᴄᴋ ] anyway, what do you want?

[luhanxmi-blog]

[text: 루한] where are you?

[ sᴍs ➟ ᴊsᴜᴄᴋ ] aye i miss u too

[luhanxmi-blog]

[txt] Are you dead? [txt] Been a while since i last heard from you [txt] take care of yourself okay.

[ sᴍs ➟ ᴛʀɪᴘʟᴇ ᴀxᴇʟ ] are you missing my handsome face

[ sᴍs ➟ ᴛʀɪᴘʟᴇ ᴀxᴇʟ ] image attachment

[ sᴍs ➟ ᴛʀɪᴘʟᴇ ᴀxᴇʟ ] bring me lunch in exchange for that quality artwork

[siwonmi-deactivated20171003]

Coffee and Compliments

[siwonmi-deactivated20171003]

There were few moments in his life when Siwon was truly grateful to his condition. His blood pressure was so low that the young man found that he grew cold quicker than most people in his immediate surroundings. Thus, the young man often found himself wrapped in various layers when entering public places. Air-conditioning being his enemy number one. But, it was in moments as such, when his foolishness had managed to bring the dark haired lad into a rather odd scenario, that he welcomed the fact that his body did not agree with many temperatures. Before Alia truly realized what he was doing, his fingers found the edge of his sweater and he was peeling it from his body.

The long sleeves slipping off of his arms, and winding the cloth’s way over his head the young man immediately extended his arms to offer it to the slightly shorter individual that stood before him. He felt the corners of his lips arching into what appeared to be a hopeful smile. One of those smiles that Siwon often kept solely for those who touched his heart. It was soft, and nothing like the wide grin that usually framed his features. It had nothing daring within it, there was nothing but remorse in his expression. Within an instant his teeth began to graze his lower lip. Gnawing on his lip, as he always did when put into a situation that made the lanky individual feel more nervous than he should have been, he did his best to keep his head low.

Shoulders inching upwards he felt himself going into more of a defensive stance, mainly by the way that his eyes were widening by the instant. Siwon shifted his weight slightly before shaking his head vigorously, remaining where he was with his hand extended, the sweater offered to the other, and his arms bared against the air-conditioning which seemed to whirl cold air through the room. Within a few moments he could feel his skin grow colder, goose bumps rise against his arms, and he did his absolute best to ignore their very existence.

Instead, the man’s dark orbs quickly found the others. “I’m so sorry– no, no, it’s fine. I uh– I mean, no thank you I should by myself a new one. Uhm– if you want you should change into this– I mean–” and that was when his rather stuttering speech broke off yet again. It was difficult to keep his eyes on the others, mainly because he felt as though the ground should have swallowed him alive towards that very instant. If only that had been possible, then the next words would not have been leaving his lips, “I mean that looks like it hurts, and I am so sorry– and yeah.”

It was moments like these when the dark haired individual wanted nothing more than to be swallowed by the earth. Why couldn’t coherent sentences leave his lips? And why did these things always have to happen to him? Siwon felt terrible, he felt guiltier than was humanly possible. And the fact that the shorter individual was being so kind to him, did not help his heart calm itself down whatsoever. And so he simply remained there, teeth grazing against his lower lip once more before lowering his head in the hopes he might disappear where he stood. Note to self: find a new coffee place and get a grip.

[luhanxmi-blog]

To be honest, Luhan was grateful that an ugly masterpiece of coffee was staining his shirt. With this stranger feeling indebted to him, there could be no dead end. Normally, he would practice a more practical method — but hours of flirtation and faking it took a thorough toll on his wellbeing. Things were aligning quite favorably today considering he had entered this place in low spirits. Even if he tended to get paid for his company, he didn’t think himself grand enough to reject other opportunities. Anything and everything could work if he pulled the strings just right. Luhan did not fancy being alone. 

Yet, these bouts of stammering from the other party were rather unproductive. So, he took the liberty of swerving the conversation in a better direction. “I’m Luhan,” he introduced himself as he fully ignored the attempts at an apology, although he rejected the sweater with a bemused smile. “I have something else in mind.” Something alike a coy smile appeared on his lips, and he mentally assessed how old the taller could be — certainly not a high school student, probable to have a place of his own. All the cards he flipped over looked pretty, but there was no subtle way to go about this.

“Wait here.” Luhan stepped aside for a brief moment to get his drink, holding it out for the other to take. “And put that back on. You’ll freeze.” The chastisement was a tad playful, but he was serious. The goosebumps on the man’s arms were visible from where he stood. Again, he glanced down at the spill. “It’s not that hot anymore, so don’t worry. Besides.. I think I can pull off this look.” If anything, it would remind his new friend of the obligation he had towards him, which lead Luhan to his next point.

There were many things Luhan was ashamed of. Hell, he could write a list longer than the US Constitution. Being forward was not one of those things. There were no downsides. This confidence cut things to the chase and saved his pride. Both time and reputation were very important to him. “Do you live near here?” The question wasn’t posed in a conversational way. It was almost as if there were a dozen follow-up questions that he was eagerly withholding. He could only hope that this sap was too naive to realize the implications.

[luhanxmi-blog]

❝ black and white

[siwonmi-deactivated20171003]

A wandering smile appeared upon Siwon’s lips, a smile that was directed at right about anything in his surroundings. His dark orbs wandered from one object to the next, one glimmering dress to the next. From one mask to another, finding each more stunning than the one before. It was a beauty, the sort of beauty that was able to steal one’s breath entirely. The ballroom had stolen not only Siwon’s breath, but also his heart. Never, in his life had he witnessed something so mesmerizing. The way that the bodies moved in tact with the music, the way that the people seemed to engage in their own matters. Usually Siwon despised being in a room with so many people at once, but right then and there, nothing seemed to matter than the arm which he was holding onto and the music that surrounded them.

His smile only seemed to grow from one second to the next as the lanky man dared to sneak a glance at the young man whose arm he was holding onto. Fingers curling around the texture of his sleeve as Alia could not restrain himself from staring in awe. Head tilting to the side ever so slightly he felt both his cheeks and the tips of his ears turn into a light shade of pink~ it was solely a taint of pink, but he knew that the increase of colour in his features would not end there. He realized as the heat was growing stronger in his face so was the redness and then the dark haired man averted his hues towards the decorations in the room, rather than concentrating on his heart which was beating so fast it was bound to leap free from his chest.

Nodding ever so slightly he felt his lips part ever so slightly as he glanced up towards the massive chandelier which seemed to grace the room with light. “Is it that obvious?” A soft giggle escaped his lips right there and then. Nodding his head ever so slightly he found himself adding rather timidly, “N-no, I uh– I have you to thank for this.” Siwon began to gnaw on his lower lip as he did so often when feeling rather flustered, “Thank you for bringing me with you– it’s so beautiful, everything is so beautiful.” And that was when the blush on his cheeks could no longer be classified as pink, but rather as a bright shade of red.

[luhanxmi-blog]

By the time the other was finished speaking, Siwon’s cheeks were a shade of scarlet akin to the gowns swirling around the dance floor. Luhan found it endearing, and he pulled his date a fraction closer. A twinge of sadness throbbed at his heart when he considered the reality of things. Even if their intimacy and affection were progressing day by day, he knew that everything would shatter when Siwon discovered the truth. This could be their last moment together, and he often reminded himself of this. Yet, whenever it nagged at his mind, he bit his lip anxiously and tasted blood.

His feelings towards Siwon were nothing simple. With anything, even if he claimed that he didn’t care, he did. Luhan cared a lot. Selfish as it was, this man made him feel normal — Well, as normal as someone like him could feel. For once, Luhan did not have the reoccurring notion that he was being used or manipulated. There wasn’t some prize at the end of the tunnel for Siwon, and that was an incredible thought. Of course, he was aware that no one could like him for him. This naive and stupid boy liked him for who he was pretending to be, and Luhan’s fuse was running short before the guilt ate him up and he snapped.

Luhan was monstrous, and however he managed to smile proved it. “Everything is beautiful, hm?” He repeated this phrase thoughtfully, testing it out for himself. His grin widened as he turned more towards the other. “Including me?” Teasing Siwon was irresistible. Same with flattering the poor boy. “I’m nowhere near as beautiful as you, though,” Luhan muttered regrettably, although his overblown ego thought differently. What Siwon didn’t know wouldn’t hurt him, but it was keeping him out of the know that was the problem. 

[luhanxmi-blog]

22

22. “Do you want to tell me what really happened?”

Transluscent liquid rolled out on the floor, steam rising towards them. Additionally, shards of glass intermingled with the piping hot tea. Luhan literally spilled some tea, and it was not as satisfactory as he had imagined it. God knew he did not have the cash to patch everything up with the “you break it, you buy it” policy. Maybe he could worm his way out. “Wow, how could you knock everything over like that?” Luhan spouted in some fake-amazed voice, although his astonishment was only one layer deep. “You should really clean that up.” His voice shrunk with this last sentence, trying to inch away from any livid backlash fueled by his clumsiness. 

[luhanxmi-blog]

*crosses fingers that these shall be uncomfortable* 13, 19, 27, 43

13. “I don’t think your arm is meant to bend like that…”

Luhan studied the other’s expression, highlighting and underlining the most beautiful parts. Siwon was his most cherished piece of literature — he was so easy to read, no ambiguity or cliffhangers. So, he chuckled, almost in dismissal. “Does it freak you out?” Based on his dim memories from childhood, some of his joints had always possessed a certain degree of hypermobility. It was an interesting party trick. Still amused, he relaxed his arm to ease the other’s dismay. “If you’re going to react like that, I’m not sure if you’ll want to see anything more.”

19. “So, instead of helping you, they ran off the moment they saw what was happening?”

Basically. This was conveyed with a dismissive shrug, picking at a loose thread on his sleeve. Siwon’s bottomless innocence and purity was off-putting at times. If Luhan even alluded to his secret life, he knew that he would lose everything. Siwon couldn’t handle it. This tiny story was a test, and the boy had lost. Truthfully, it was more than a brief confrontation past midnight, and Luhan got away with much less than a stolen wallet and phone — but that probably seemed like the greatest evil possible to the other. Luhan had never been mugged — not of physical belongings, at least.

27. “How could you be so careless?”

The puddle of dark coffee on the kitchen floor swelled up with time, crawling over the unmarred tiles. “I was trying to make you breakfast!” Luhan explained defensively, although he was secretly snickering as the other fretted over the mess. By breakfast, he generously meant pouring Siwon a cup of coffee. Apparently, Luhan was a klutz. He shuffled closer with a sorry pout on his face, somewhat leaning into the taller man. “I’ll make it up to you, okay?”

43. “Pain is the only thing I’m familiar with.”

Serious subjects rarely dawned on their conversations. So, Luhan assumed that the other was messing around. “Same,” he responded dryly, his tight smile not reaching his eyes. Siwon was always cheerful and bright around him, and he couldn’t fathom anything else. In the end, he knew he would hurt his unsuspecting victim, and the thought twisted his insides. It was almost excruciating. Almost. Luhan wondered if it would hurt himself more in the end, and he believed that would serve as a fair penalty when it came.

[luhanxmi-blog]

❝ black and white

Thump, thump, thump. The steady beat of his heart and the commotion inside were one, and Luhan could not decipher between the two. Maybe it was the rush of thick blood in his ears, or maybe it was the warmth of his date beside him — whatever it was, the man was disoriented. A film seemed to splay over his vital senses. No matter how fervently he swallowed or blinked, it stuck. Something felt off — and he hated himself for the level of vague this statement broke. He was no psychic. Something was bound to happen with the scum from each separate lousy batch congregated in an enclosed space. Luhan could almost feel the slime seeping through his tuxedo when he imaged how many members of rival gangs were brushing against him so carelessly. Subtly, he pressed in closer to Siwon.

Kwon Siwon was something else. Normally, Luhan accompanied these events as an ornament, paid to please. Besides, the only big-shots that could afford the reputation to receive an invitation were wielding some serious dirt on their peers. As sweet as gossip was, he had a feeling Siwon would be even tastier. If innocence had a face, this individual would be the one to wear it. Whenever they were together, the purity that radiated from Siwon fostered a bundle of warmth within Luhan, and he liked it. Normally, his efforts to preserve his identity were minimal. When compared to the recent happenings, his doings weren’t that illegal. In fact, he operated in a field of petty crime when placed beside a murderer. Yet, when placed beside Siwon, he was the murderer.

Somehow, they migrated to the perimeter of the crowd, because he was unsure about what his partner was comfortable with. “I have a feeling this is your first time at something like this,” Luhan guessed through a smile, feeling his cheeks push up against the mask. When he had picked the other up, his tongue had been tied. Complimenting Siwon on his appearance seemed pointless, because him and the whole world knew how goddamn dashing he was. It always made Luhan chuckle nervously, like right now. “Uh— So, thanks for coming with me.”

[luhanxmi-blog]

lu han · masquerade 2016

“hey, siwon. i think you’re suffering from a lack of vitamin me.”

[luhanxmi-blog]

22

22. “Do you want to tell me what really happened?”

Luhan was no snitch. If he blabbed about it now, karma would shove a rake up his ass later. “Want to?” His eyes bore into the girl as he dissected the wording, shaking his head dismissively. She was young — too young. This upper-hand inflated his confidence, and he muttered underneath an airy breath, “I don’t particularly want to do anything for you.” If she had the bucks or influence, he wouldn’t have any choice. Acting high and mighty was a privilege for Luhan, and it only grew more with each year. Maybe he would be kind and offer some advice. “Are you interested in a tip?” His brow raised with his own suggestion, leaning forward with a wicked smile. “To get anything you want — anything in the world.” She wasn’t ugly, and he could certainly pretend she was some goddess if it wormed his way out of this confrontation. “Open your legs, and act pretty. Works every time.” 

[luhanxmi-blog]

13

13. “I don’t think your arm is meant to bend like that…”

“No shit,” Luhan spat out through a clenched jaw, pretending like salty tears weren’t pooling in his eyes. The man damned his corneas for producing such a belittling substance. It didn’t even hurt — Okay, he reconsidered that as he twisted his wrist a fraction, groaning as his tendons voiced their disapproval. One blink and he would be doomed. “Hey, are you going to help me out or not?” Maybe the aggressive route wasn’t wise when his fate was in the other’s hands, but his fingertips couldn’t grasp anything calm when his joints were dislocated beyond repair. This never happened to him, and he probably needed to google this shit to steer clear of the hospital. Luhan did not need a fat bill to roll in the new year. So, he abandoned his pride. “Can you search this on your phone or something — please?”

[siwonmi-deactivated20171003]

Coffee and Compliments

[luhanxmi-blog]

siwonmi:

Coffee was the means by which Siwon was still in existence. And so, after a tedious day of work, the young man found himself pushing open the door to one of his favorite coffee places. It was comfortable, small and never over-filled. So, it was just the way that Siwon liked it to be~ and above all, they never seemed to crank up the air-con as much as most places did. This was rather helpful to the young man that appeared to live with the terror of constantly freezing. Pushing up the sleeves of his oversized sweater, the young man set down his bag, before wandering over to the counter.

With a soft smile and nod of his head he greeted the person on the other side of the counter, after a short interaction and sharing how their day had been so far, the young man continued to order his café latte, as he did every day. Truth be told, Siwon was in that coffee shop every day, it was a part of his routine walk home. The young man would always leave his work place, take the slightly longer route through the park and then wander into this very coffee shop before leaving to walk down the last few houses towards his own home.

With a soft smile towards the employee, the dark haired fellow took hold of his coffee before making his way through the room and towards his table. However, before he had managed to make his way over to the spot he had originally claimed as his own, he found himself stumbling over his own feet. This was nothing uncommon for the young man, he was rather uncoordinated. Which often made him wonder how he was able to have feeling for something as delicate as technology and be able to work side by side with electronic devices without causing a massive problem.

It was in that very instant that the young man caught himself, before stumbling into a figure that seemed to be slightly smaller than he was. By doing so, the momentum had caused the content of his cup to fly forwards and within a moment a gasp had escaped his own lips. Hues widening as the young man immediately let his cup drop to the ground entirely. He sprung forwards, grabbing hold of as many napkins as he could find, before pressing them to the other’s shirt as quickly as it was humanly possible.

“I am so sorry! I am really sorry, are you okay? I am so sorry!” The young man began to ramble as he clumsily attempted to clean the mess he had created. “I’m so sorry– oh god I am so sorry.” The apologies would never end, or so he feared. Glancing towards the other’s eyes he felt himself growing smaller and smaller by each instant that passed, “I will absolutely come up for the damage I have caused, I am terribly sorry, sir.”  

A bell jingled overhead with his entrance. God dammit. Luhan locked his eyes forward so he wouldn’t roll them, finding the merry tinkle utterly tacky — or maybe it reminded him of the bunches of bells on the wreaths his mother always hung on their front door around Christmastime, signaling his every arrival and departure. Whatever the case, it induced a sour churn in his stomach, and he almost lost his appetite. Nonetheless, he had finished a night of honest work, and he needed some caffeine to survive the remainder of this long day. For someone like him, nights were long, and days were longer.

His eyes squinted on their own accord as he peered at the menu. A coffee shop accessorized every street corner, so he was far from a regular at any one place. Because of this, ordering was always a chore — especially when he had awoken twenty minutes ago. Luhan sleepily rubbed at his right eye, hand balled into a little fist. Of course, this only caused the edges of his vision to bloom with black afterwards. His eye hurt — but that was likely the least of his troubles. His lower back ached and his clothing was well-soiled with unknown substances. Simply, he felt dirty. Though, when he thought about it, there was never a moment when he felt clean.

Eventually, he had worked his way to the front of the line and ordered a drink, heading off to the opposite side of the counter to wait. Purposely, he twisted his body to weave through the flock of strangers. It was funny. His life revolved around physical contact, but he cringed away from harmless touching and invasion of his personal space. If there was no exchange or reward, it was unnecessary. Additionally, Luhan was rather unused to this manner of contact, and it tugged at some unwelcome memories — like a hooked fish with the line pulled taut, reeling in for the prize.

It was when he was innocently standing there that all hell broke loose. One second he was fairly calm and dry. The next second, scalding hot coffee was dripping down his front, creating an oh-so pretty decoration of brown abstract art. Luhan almost flipped. This stranger’s face saved the poor guy. Even with his abdominal muscles tightening in opposition to this extreme temperature, Luhan was fixated on this face. It was distressed and panicked. Yet, the flare of Luhan’s rage dwindled as he watched the other helplessly dab at his soiled shirt and sputter nonsense. Mentally, he cursed at himself for being weak and pathetic before a pretty face, because this individual deserved a knee to the balls.

It was uncomfortable. Luhan’s face contorted into something similar to a wince as he peeled his shirt away from his skin to somehow cool off, breathing out too passively, “It’s alright. I’m fine.” Luckily, he was trained in concealing his emotions, and he could be considered an expert. He glanced over as his drink was called and placed on the counter. “You can have mine,” he offered with a slight nod in that direction. Then, with a quiet chuckle, he added, “It’s my fault for standing here.” Like hell it was his fault. Both of them knew whose fault it was. However, Luhan could see there was more to gain than lose in this situation.

[luhanxmi-blog]

❝ alpha hotel

@midaehyun​

there were puddles on the street — to be more precise, they were collected in the grooves that followed the dip of the curb, outlining the crooked sidewalk. it wasn’t raining. luhan assumed that these pools of rainfall were leftover from the morning, but he wouldn’t know. it was noon when the man had rolled out of bed. even if the air was particularly dry, it was cold. his hands burrowed deeper into the pockets of his coat and the toe of his boot sent a splash of water forward as he crossed the street. a certain dreariness seemed to shadow him, and it made his chest feel heavy. he couldn’t swallow it, and he inhaled deeply in hopes to expel it from his body, but that only shoved the feeling into his stomach. he would blame it on monday.

noise from the heart of the city filtered into its outskirts, and luhan could distinguish the far-off sound of a police siren. in a way, it was comforting. after all, there were a number of policemen in the area, and he prefers to know a handful of them are a way’s away. even so, this thin thought was already slipping from his head as he more or less rammed into another person. with glazed over eyes, he blinked. the impact disoriented him, and he fought to focus his stare on the individual before him. it wasn’t in luhan’s nature to apologize, but the blue of the uniform that blurred in the edges of his vision caused him to lower his head a little. just his fucking luck. 

luhan never bumped into people. it seemed too cliché and clumsy, and he was neither. besides, he didn’t plan on making a fool out of himself by walking into a stranger and falling in love and etcetera — that happened, didn’t it? maybe it could happen, although he happened to recognize this officer — his brain malfunctioned as it registered that word: officer. “oh my god,” luhan muttered in disbelief, now staring unashamedly at the other man. right, just his fucking luck. screaming would probably be inappropriate in such a public setting, and he was well trained in acting properly. so, he breathed evenly to calm himself down, still sensitive to that weighty feeling in his gut. finally, he decided. “i think— i think we should have a conversation.”

[mijaerim-blog]

random number generator!

every week or so your lovely admins will have a meme up that’ll last seven days! so go wild with them and have fun! (feel free to use this meme as a form of character development or as a foundation to plot with each other if you’re having trouble! go crazy guys!) and as stated in the rules, any sort of meme should be posted/reblogged by either an admin or a mod. under the cut there are fifty questions. send someone a random number (or numbers) between 1-50 and the muse has to answer them!

remember to reblog this if you’re interested in receiving a question!

– and remember to send one to everybody!

Keep reading

[luhanxmi-blog]

❝ within you

@mixminhyuk

the walls were blank. luhan noted this common theme through stardust-ridden eyelashes, blinking slowly. again, he had forgotten to remove his contact lenses, but there was never a convenient method of storing them on nights like the last. he would rather have them fuse to his eyeballs than subject his partners to the grotesque sight of him prying a mucus-y sheet from his eyes — not cute. anyway, the walls were blank. no bed he shared with another belonged to a room with character. maybe it was better this way. the plain and simple made their exchange less personal. if a collection of horror novels or outdated action figures littered the room, then the other person would suddenly become too human. leaving wouldn’t be so easy.

the mattress creaked underneath his weight as the male swung his legs over the side, standing to gather the articles of clothing that had become acquainted with the floorboards. the clothes didn’t feel like his own anymore — or maybe it was his skin that felt foreign. either way, he was looking forward to a hot shower. perhaps he would treat himself to a cup of coffee on the way home (aka to whichever friend would be hospitable). luhan breathed evenly as he shoved his phone into the pocket of his worn jeans, sparing nothing more than a glance to the man in bed. the sheets were white — blank, too.

he let himself out. self-consciously, his fingers mussed in his hair, hoping that his walk of shame would be less shameful if he appeared in control. he had been doing this for six years, and it never was. luhan stood in the empty hallway, surrounded by nothing but blankness. the man took a minute or two to compose himself before proceeding to the elevator, thumb jabbing into the button with a downward arrow. he shifted uneasily as he waited. this exact moment — which he oddly faced every morning with a sense of deja vu — this moment was when he felt the most alone. 

[sekairis]