Assignment Overload!
Wondering how crazy I am going to be in the next 3 weeks. Exams and papers, can you not come at the same time?Â
Then there are clinical compliance(s) are always lurking somewhere in my head.Â
So much pressure so much stress so much anxiety so much shittttttttt. BUT, shits are the things that always bring us closer to the reality of life. So, I guess I gotta dirty my hands and feet to crush them. It’s just gonna be like the finals week in the last two years; I survived the exams and papers and presentations without thinking too much about them. Looking back now I don’t even know how I managed to overcome all those things.Â
And the thing with thinking is that when I think/contemplate about something for too long, I become obsessed with it. I let it get into my head, and it starts screwing my brain both negatively and positively depending on the situation. But, regardless of the negative or positive affects, thinking does teach me some good things. If I don’t think, how would I understand the matter whether it be my approaches, feelings, or the value of the things that I think about? Even sitting here thinking and writing this post when I have a mountain of assignments do me some good things: formulate my own perspectives on the subject of “thinking.” When they say “Don’t think too much about it,” that perhaps doesn’t apply to many situations because although the act of thinking a lot might affect me negatively, I can still learn something from all those thoughts. Thinking a lot isn’t bad, I just have to time it perfectly. That means not to zone out when I am in class / meeting patients, and that doesn’t mean that zoning out is the absence of thinking; actually it’s quite the opposite. As long as I think, I can learn something whether it’s a new thing or just the confirmation of my own existence in this world - “I think, therefore I am” (Descartes). Maybe thinking is the only thing that you do “too much” and still be helpful in someways.
But then, I just can’t stop thinking about something that’s greatly meaningful/hurtful to me, so to time my thinking is nearly impossible in these occasions. It’s these times that make me do stupid things, especially when I was younger than I am right now (19). Focus is essential in everything, and when one can’t be mindful on what he’s doing, nearly 100% of the time, the result would turn out to be unwanted. But, is it his fault that he can’t properly do the work? Yes it certainly is his fault, but not entirely his fault because there are outside factors that affect his thinking and indirectly decreases his ability to work. Isn’t that the reason for forgiveness? Anyway, I have been engulf in the act of thinking, so I strayed from the reality of life, which is the overload of school works!!!! Arggg Grrrrr
 Kamisama, Please miraculously boost up my physical and mental energy!!!