Personal growth is such a strange thing. During high school I was neurotic at best, constantly trying to manipulate social situations so people would like me, or faking who I was as a person to fulfill other people’s expectations. My anxiety was so severe even thinking of losing a friend (of which I did not have many) would cause me severe panic, and I never thought that state of always being on the edge would end.
And yet, today I feel so much more confident in myself. It’s not like I don’t still have issues; to be honest, life’s given me more issues than ever before. But now fear isn’t my reaction, nor am I often anxious to the degree I used to be. Instead, I’ve begun to learn to take things in stride; I’ve also learned that, ultimately, hiding who you are doesn’t achieve anything.
Throughout life, the relationships you develop inevitably lead to the ‘happiness’ everyone seeks. Though that concept of ‘happiness’ is indistinct and varies from person to person, accepting that you are not limited by other people’s perceptions is a factor that often goes unrecognized. Societal pressures are a dime a dozen, and many individuals will enforce those pressures on the basis of normality. And yet, the question must be asked; if everyone were normal, where would we gain inspiration? Complying and abiding by the same standards despite each individual being unique is quite simply unproductive for the individual, and achieves nothing other than perpetuating the modern societal pedagogy. To be true to oneself and ignore what is ‘standard’ in the world at large has been the path that has led to frequent happiness in my life.
Consider exactly what a ‘standard’ implies. The minimum capacity at which we, as a society, find acceptable behavior is dictated by these standards, and sets a bar for most individuals to aspire to. However, to attain these standards, the individual must conform to what is collectively viewed as ‘good’ behavior. This begs the question; what behavior is good? To imply that our culture is rooted in ideal behavior of a society is inaccurate, as evidenced by factors like homophobia or sexism. This is even more evident in foreign nations, where Sharia Law is imposed in the Middle East, Russia federally persecutes homosexuals, among a host of other instances. This implies that in the United States, we have a higher general standard of living that accommodates for a wider breadth than Iran or Iraq, and our standards perpetuate that standard of living quite well.
This, in essence, is a negative feedback loop. Where a given demographic may feel persecuted in the Western world, those individuals are frequently still offered a significantly better situation than women in the Middle East or gays in Russia. And yet, our society is either not satisfied with this level of acceptance, as certain norms perpetuate antiquated prejudice that has infected our culture, or simply are ignorant to the world around them. Both of these issues intrinsically focus on external factors, particularly in regards to compliance with what is ‘right’.
I propose that happiness is not found in this way. Through viewing a large, rampantly negative scope, the world seems like an awful, heinous place lacking empathy or mercy. And yet, when we look at the smaller frame of reference, we see massive progress from eras past, directly contrasted by the prejudices still evident in the remaining portion of the world. Ultimately, this progress we have participated in achieves something; all of the little bits and pieces of development for women, homosexuals, or even races conglomerate to a victory, at least in comparison to the world at large. This then begs the question on whether or not more is to be gained from developing a fixation on the grand scope of humanity, or focusing in the individual developments of a culture. One becomes curious if happiness is simply a state of being, or an inevitable right everyone is entitled to.
In my personal experience, I find that the individual developments lead to happiness, rather than the doom and gloom present in the world. Through using personal developments (such as becoming more adept at dealing with my anxiety), I have grown much more significantly as a person than through focusing on the broader, less definitive issues. Perhaps this is how we progress society further, through focusing on individual issues that are capable of being dealt with, rather than addressing the grand scope problems of racism, homophobia, or sexism. Perhaps societal development cannot be equated to an individual person, but the current state of stagnation certainly gains nothing from tight lipped philosophers searching for validation. Rather, those philosophers must develop theory to then validate. In this regard, perhaps something more specific is the proper course of action.
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