malady

Mel | I just want to fall asleep under a tree on a moonlit night |

[angelicguy]

me and the boys have a couple of chains wrapped around the sword in the stone hooked up to mikes toyota tundra gonna pull that fucker out like a tooth.

[seaweed-station]

Me and the boys misunderstood the arcane nature of the stone and now the Toyota is king of England

[carnival-phantasm]

In love with this random guy who had a lock slapped on his storage unit for not paying its rental and not only did he ignore management and took his stuff out without paying, but also chose to steal the lock itself and send it to the LockPickingLawyer along with a confession letter

[carnival-phantasm]

X

[we-are-ninja]

@theoutcastrogue

[chibikuroneko13]

cant believe you didnt include the full sentence

[foone]

People always focus on the "lockpicking" part of his name and ignore that the lockpicking lawyer is, indeed, a lawyer, and can tell you exactly which crimes you committed in getting this lock to him

[cal3ris]

is this gonna get me fired you think

[prokopetz]

You are an unreliable narrator because your coping mechanisms for your deep-seated trauma forbid you from acknowledging the reality of the situation. I am an unreliable narrator because I sincerely have no idea what the fuck is going on.

[syn4k]

"lock in" is probably one of the most important phrases to enter the public lexicon in the 2020s

[joyflameball]

[irisharchaeology]

From a 9th century Irish manuscript, the phrase ‘massive hangover’ (Latheirt) written in the ancient Irish text Ogham. The monk must have been having a very rough day…..

Source 

[be-bhinn]

The exact translation is “ale killed us” which is somehow better

[waifu4waifu]

im sorry but what other anime can like replicate the absolute cinema of death note. the omnious latin chanting. the blatant mental health disorders of every single character. the saucy trombone as ppl drop dead. the swoosh of the pen, hand jerking around, arm fully extended. the fucking helicopter shootouts over literally a notebook. the dark catholic imagery. the typeface. the significance of a single letter. the sexy lesbian goth model with a bubbly personality and undiagnosed bpd. ok. the autistic honor student who has to be god or else he really is a criminal. the autistic detective who immediately solves the mystery and nobody believes him. the dramatic irony of every aspect. the bury ur gays trope. the bury most of the cast. the diabolical laughter of a shinigami with a gay earring and snatched waist with a crippling apple addiction who set up the whole show. random bondage. ok. doomed yuri. doomed yaoi. everyone who uses this book is doomed.

[enki2]

[vanguard]

"don't post that, what if an employer sees?" personally i think employers need to stay the fuck off their employees' social media lmao

[vanguard]

stop normalizing employers invading employees' privacy ❤️❤️❤️

[theragamuffininitiative]

Alright I want to know something here:

the 🙃 emoji means (approximately)

silly!*

ugh!*

secret third thing you will explain in tags*

Voting ended onJul 10

*if comfortable doing so, you may include your age range/generation in the tags for helpful demographic data

kindly reblog for bigger sample size, thanks!

[purronronner]

[johnnycrass]

[childanddamselfly]

[the-uncanny-dag]

[whyenn-reader]

"ingredients you can pronounce" i can pronounce anything

[pyronado-moved]

Please stop trigger tagging with #epilepsy tw/cw/warning/etc.

I need every single person to understand how horrible tumblr’s tagging system is

I go into the tag for epilepsy and its all flashing lights. We can’t use our own tag because people without epilepsy fill it up with improper warnings.

Use ‘flashing’ in place of ‘epilepsy’ in your tags. You aren’t warning people of epileptics, you’re warning us of flashing lights. Please please tag properly. Epileptics say this endlessly and constantly and it’s ignored. You are risking lives by doing this.

Here’s proof of what I mean:

THIS POST IS 100% OKAY TO REBLOG, I ENCOURAGE PEOPLE WITHOUT EPILEPSY TO ESPECIALLY DO SO!

[bebx]

I should be allowed to use fuck if I know as an appropriate and professional response to a work email

[bebx]

“if you love this character then you must make him happy in your fics, right?” wrong. the horror. suffering. internal hemorrhage. hospital. immediately

[hometoursandotherstuff]

How I found out that my cockatiel was a girl.

[sandersstudies]

Every time you go in a public place and something ISN’T disgusting it’s because somebody cleaned it. Every time you feel comfortable using a public bathroom or sitting at a restaurant table or setting something on a gas station counter or playing on a playground it’s because somebody cleaned it.

Thank you to everyone who cleans the world, especially those who are underpaid and under appreciated.