Really long but funny joke (please read and share)
(I used three friends names/ifunny usernames for it)
Falso and Impulse are working together on creating a new building. Falso, being the genius of the two, is in charge of creating the actual blueprints and getting the logistics of the building and such. Impulse, being the... less smart... *cough*... of the two, was put in charge of just simply counting the bricks to be used in building the structure.
Impulse gets right to work, wanting to really impress falso. "One brick, two, three, four..." he keeps counting as the day goes on. "Fifty six, fifty seven," however, suddenly he stops. He came across a BLUE brick. Stunned, he brings it to Falso and, sounding a bit frantic, shows her the miscolored brick. Sighing, Falso simply tells Impulse to chill out cause sure, its the wrong color, we just wont use that one.
Feeling a little better, Impulse goes back to counting bricks. "133, 134, 135..." they work in peace and quiet for awhile when Falso hears Impulse taking shaky breaths. "What is it??" "...theres another one..." "another what, impulse?." And impulse said softly, "another blue brick.."
Falso, getting annoyed at this point that Impulse is getting worked up over literally COUNTING BRICKS, takes a deep breath but still sounds stern in saying "put it aside, and keep. counting."
Impulse agrees and counts on as a plane flies overhead. "243, 244, 245..." then comes across ANOTHER blue brick. By this point, he is completely in hysterics because bricks arent supposed to be blue and he runs up to Falso, bawling his eyes out and holding out the blue brick. "YOU KNOW WHAT, IM SICK OF THIS. YES. SOME BRICKS ARE DIFFERENT COLORS BUT JUST DO YOUR DAMN JOB!" and Falso threw the brick into the distance. The end.
What, you didnt like that joke?
Fine, fine. Heres another one
So Jeremy has a friend. A best friend, really. They do everything together. They eat together, go to school together, play together, even bathe together!
His best friends name- is Quackers.
That's right, Jeremy's best friend is a duck.
One day, Jeremy races Quackers home from school and wins because, well, ducks have tiny lil legs, and when he gets home and into his room to start homework, his mom comes in. "Jeremy darlin, i gotta tell you somethin, and you're gon be real sad but I'm 'fraid its a done deal."
"What is it mama? Whats wrong?"
His mother paused. "We're moving... to Vegas."
"Thats awesome! Theres like, casinos and hot chicks there!!! And like, cool drugs!"
"Yes but theres a problem... Quackers has to stay here." Jeremy's heart dropped. Flashbacks of his whole life with his best friend danced before his eyes as tears formed and spilled.
About an hour later, Quackers finally waddled into Jeremy's room, to find him crying on his bed, blasting Adele's "Someone Like You."
"Quack What's wrong??? quack," the duck asked.
"Quackers.. we're moving to Vegas.."
"Quack, Thats awesome! Theres like, casinos and hot chicks there!! And, drugs, like, well, QUACK!!"
"Yea there's all that but there's a problem.. you can't come with us."
The boy and the duck cried together all night, blasting sad music.. "nevermind I'll find someone like youuuuuu..."
They moved the very next day. Sending their belongings in rental trucks, the family took a plane. Once at the airport, right outside the plane, Jeremy had to say his final goodbye to Quackers. "I'll never forget you, little buddy." They hugged and cried and Jeremy boarded the plane, crying his eyes out and getting similar looks as an infant on a plane would.
As they lifted off, he waved to Quackers through the window and watched as his best friend disappeared for the last time. About half an hour into the flight, while dramatically looking out the window while listening to music like he was in a music video, Jeremy sees something in the distance.
Is it? Could it be? It is!!!! QUACKERS! Jeremy smiles to the point it hurts and watches Quackers fly alongside the plane, right outside his window. Until, he falls back a little, and a little more, and is eventually just a speck in the distance, and nothing.
Jeremy, not at all to the appeal of the other passengers, cries some more and starts singing sad songs aloud between sniffs.
They eventually land and the sad boy gets off the plane, looking into the sky in memory of his best friend.
Suddenly, theres a speck.
Its getting larger, closer.
Is it??? It is!!! Quackers made it!!!
Jeremy is beyond happy and can't wait to be reuited with his best friend! Even the duck is smiling as he gets closer and closer! They're about to reunite and touch, wing to hand, when...
A blue brick falls out of the sky and kills Quackers, the end.
yousharknotpass
kaledo-art
gummygunk
origamiaround
turnnoffyourmind
