headcanon (again)
Sometimes when they’re on leave on Coruscant, Jesse and Kix hit up 79′s and Jesse proceeds to get Kix so thoroughly wasted that he loosens up enough to start ranting about all the shit he deals with as the team medic. Jesse swears he does this out of concern, because Kix carries a lot on his shoulders without complaint and doesn’t get the chance to unload very often. The fact that these conversations are usually hilarious is merely a bonus.
“Yes, just get up and start walking around two minutes after having your hip dislocated. That’s fine.”
“He kept trying to get General Skywalker to cauterize the wound with his lightsaber… and I’m pretty sure Skywalker was actually considering it.”
“I treated Hardcase eight times last month. Eight. That’s twice as often as I saw the guy who got his leg blown off on Malastare. If he doesn’t quit the stupid stunts, he’s going to end up dead.” “You’ve got to admit, though, that thing he did with the speeder and the flamethrower looked really cool.” “…yeah, but don’t tell him that, he’ll do it again.”
“So it wasn’t the worst possible time to find out Rex has terrible reactions to painkillers, but it was in the top three.”
“Since it was Fives’s ridiculous idea in the first place, I made him be the blood donor.”
“I don’t know what they’re teaching about triage on Kamino these days, but if one more shiny thinks nothing of coming up to me with some minor complaint while I’m wrist-deep in someone’s hemorrhaging thoracic cavity, I’m going to perform an impromptu bowel resection with my blaster.”
“NO, WE’RE NOT HUMAN, WE’RE JUST CLONES -” [furiously trashes Krell for twenty solid minutes]
“Then he bit me, because apparently my hand was too close to his face. Seriously. He bit me. All I was trying to do was figure out if his skull was fractured or if he was just concussed. I think I know why the Wolfpack can’t find a full-time medic.”
“I’m explaining that his large intestine kind of just ends so if he eats anything he’ll get to find out what sepsis is like and he really needs to let me put the IV in, and instead he guilt-trips me into pumping him full of antibiotics and painkillers and sending him right back out into the field. Because that’s a fantastic idea.” “He’s from the same batch as Fives. I don’t know what you were expecting.”
this is the only post i have about my precious medic son, and in light of the occasion, i need to reblog it.
I can see this happening.
Knowing a medic... yep, a completely yep!
