Gale Dekarios and his respect for women
It has become increasingly common in certain circles of discourse to dismiss Gale Dekarios as an “incel” or to accuse him of misogyny, based primarily on surface-level misinterpretations of his demeanor, his failed romance with Mystra, or his initial "arrogance." However, such takes fall apart when you actually delve into his relationship with women throughout the game. When examined holistically, Gale’s character is not only deeply shaped by his reverence for women, but he is, in many ways, a man defined by them.
Let’s begin with the obvious:
1. Mystra
Gale’s entire identity as a wizard is shaped by his worship of Mystra, the Lady of Mysteries, a goddess who not only governs magic but also represents the divine embodiment of the Weave itself. His desire to please her is not rooted in blind servitude or entitlement, but in reverence, devotion, and a sincere need to be worthy. The rupture in their relationship breaks him (not because he was spurned, but because he failed in her eyes).
Rather than rejecting her divinity in anger, Gale continues to refer to her as his goddess. There is no bitterness, only regret and longing. He blames himself, not her.
2. Morena
Gale proudly claims his mother’s surname, Dekarios. This is not just trivia, it is narrative choice. It speaks volumes about the figure who raised him. We hear nothing about his father and perhaps by design. The person Gale claims, honors, and symbolically identifies with is his mother.
3. Tara
Even Gale’s most loyal companion, Tara, is female. Gale never belittles or dismisses her, but listens to her, even when she challenges him. Their relationship is playful, but deeply respectful.
The idea that a man would form his closest companionship with a magical female creature, one who scolds him and still follows him across Faerûn, hardly aligns with any definition of misogyny. She's basically his second parent.
4. His Dream Guardian
Gale is notably the only origin character who refers to the Dream Guardian as "she". This subtle but significant detail shows how he relates to femininity even in liminal, psychological spaces. It’s not just that he can project a female identity onto the Guardian, it’s that he chooses to.
5. His Reactions to Female NPCs
Take, for instance, the scene with Mayrina. While other characters show skepticism or even irritation toward her plight, Gale immediately expresses concern:
"She's a pregnant lady in distress, we can't just stand by and pretend she's not here."
This moment reveals his instinctive protectiveness and empathy, particularly toward vulnerable women. He doesn’t question her intelligence or her choices, he simply believes she deserves help.
Another subtle but telling scene is with Isobel at the Last Light Inn. Gale’s interactions with her (especially if you let him speak) are marked by concern and measured respect. He doesn't undermine, or try to dominate the conversation. He listens, asks questions, and is genuinely invested.
This probably isn't as important to my point, but I just want to mention his protectiveness/concern for children, most of them in the game, female: Arabella, Mol, Yenna etc.
6. His Respect for Female Companions
Gale’s interactions with the women in the party are often gentler, more complimentary, and emotionally open than those with the male companions. I could list an abundance of dialogue examples, but I'll save that for another post perhaps.
Meanwhile, Gale’s interactions with male companions (like Astarion or Wyll) are often tinged with sarcasm, rivalry, or distance. While not hostile, they lack the warmth and admiration he reserves for women.
With that said, Gale Dekarios is not a perfect man, but he is a profoundly emotional and thoughtful one. His arrogance masks deep insecurity, and his charm belies years of shame, grief, and loneliness. What is undeniable, however, is that women occupy a place of importance in his life, not as objects of conquest, but as guides, caretakers, protectors, friends, and potentially lovers.
To reduce him to an “incel” is to ignore the text in favor of a meme. At the heart of Gale Dekarios lies a deep and abiding reverence for the divine feminine.
To dismiss his love for Mystra as toxic entitlement is to misunderstand heartbreak.
And to overlook the way he trusts, follows, and loves women is to miss the deeper beauty of Gale Dekarios entirely.
