wishedeath ft. youngjin !
it wasn’t necessarily rare for youngjin to lose, but it still managed disappoint him every time. though it often meant he had suffered a great amount of damage during the fight, he could barely even focus on the pain and healing when all that was on his mind was how he could win next time. it was times like these where it was great to have someone by his side to cheer him on and help take care of whatever it was had happened to his body — even when it was obvious that her only wish was for him to quit, to find a normal job and never make her worry again. but like with a lot of addictions, quitting was not as easy as you would think. of course he had tried and promised her the world, but at the end of the day, he would always go back to it. nothing felt as good as the adrenaline running through his veins during a match: some would go as far as calling it a high, sure felt like one.
heavy steps lead him backstage to a tiny room filled with cardboard boxes and empty beer bottles, his stuff almost getting lost in the mess. the lonely lamp hanging from the ceiling barely working, it made finding what he needed a million times harder. his normal routine after a night at work was to wash his face and other parts of his figure that might have needed a cleaning with the help of a tiny sink located in the corner of the room before getting changed into something comfortable, collecting his possible earnings and heading home. if getting hurt worse than he could handle on his own, he knew a doctor with a home office always willing to help when needed. luckily, youngjin hadn’t had a reason to visit him for a while.
‘ i almost got him. ’ said words came out of his mouth as his first response when he saw seola walk in. for some strange reason he had this need to explain himself to her, even though he knew she didn’t care. after many a conversation he had learned that her first priority was making sure he was fine, not if he took home another victory or not. she was different that way: some friends he had made along the way only ever spent time with him, because he was good. born to fight, if you will. and whenever he lost a battle you could see it in their eyes, how disappointed they were. fair enough, youngjin felt the same way.
uncertainties had become a DAILY fixture in her life. uncertain if she would keep her job , uncertain if she could EVER earn a degree , uncertain if she could ever reach far fetched dreams ( day dreams filling mind when day’s were too rough ). the one thing , among perhaps two , that she was TRULY certain of was her love for youngjin. and the subsequent worries that came with it. hearing his voice after a particular GRUELING day ; promises kissed upon skin ( wiping away the worries that nestled within bones ). and if only her love for him could be enough : it wasn’t , not when she had to FIGHT against the high he was always searching within bloodied cages. love would NEVER be enough ; a lesson they both had to learn. would she ever get used to the ROARS that filled the small space , the way it vibrated against skin , shaking her to the core ( eyes always glued on to the warrior within the cage that had stolen heart ) ?
brown hues wide and filled with awe mixed with heavy present worry. flinching whenever a hit landed on him and cheering ( to her own surprise ! ) when he did the same to his opponent. praying that it would END quickly : perhaps being the only one there that wished for a such a thing. squished in between much bigger bodies does seola TRY her best to follow youngjin along the ring as if her presence would STOP the impending doom of a hit TOO hard ; fears that someone would take him away from her then and there. and then IT happened ( the spectators jeering loudly , some happy , some disappointed as curses flew around ). and seola ? her heart seemed to STOP for a second , holding breath , before yelling for him to stand up ( voice drowned out by the victory cheers of those that supported his opponent ). and she knew even before youngjin stood up and left the ring that DISAPPOINTMENT burned his soul.
with hand bag held tightly against side , heeled shoes clicking upon the worn out floor , does she push herself through the sea of bodies. heart sung the song of ANXIETY as it filled her body with dread at what she would FIND in the little room that had become the STAGE for many of their encounters. the sound of her heels hasn’t even DISAPPEARED yet or his voice reaches her ears ; apology hidden within words she had heard too many times. hand runs through , what at this point had to be disheveled , dark locks ; tugging loose strands behind her ears. when their eyes properly lock does seola shake her head , brows furrowed , lips holding a frown.
❝ you almost had him ? ❞ she repeats : voice surprisingly even and perhaps that was the FIRST sign at how close she was to becoming desensitized to it all. walking closer towards him does she drop her bag upon one of the many card boxes that littered the room. quiet she is as she SEARCHES for a clean rag near the sink , the sound of the faucet opening and a gentle stream of water soaking the rag the only other noise in the room. ❝ but you didn’t , did you ? ❞ hands wringing the rag to hide the way fingers shook ( trying to collect herself ) & when she turns towards younjin she doesn’t try to hide her disappointment.
❝ i thought you wouldn’t stand up again. i thought ... ----- i thought this was it , youngjin ! ❞ frustration lacing voice , rag wrung between hands , as body ( defeated and tired ) leans against the skin.