Sadness is such a powerful emotion. It swallows you. There is nothing you want to do more than just disappear, evaporate and become a cloud. Or cry relentlessly, curled in a ball, without even knowing anymore why you are crying. The feeling of loneliness drenches your bones. It overwhelms you and surrounds you, making it hard to breath. It lingers in the air around you, like a trail of darkness from your cloak. You can smell it. Your core is polluted with dark stormy weather. All you want, is somebody to hold you or for you to cling onto them tight and never let go, so they could tell you that you’d be alright and your inner demons and dark stalk will never take over. Yet instead, you put on nice clothes, you smile and make those around you laugh. Maybe you’re too arrogant, may be just too scared or simply you are afraid that your sadness is contagious, to tell, to ask for help. Day changes into night, sun into the moon, summer into winter and nobody notices how slowly you are decaying and dying inside. You can’t eat, you can’t sleep, you can barely smile and you don’t care if its warm or cold, sunny or raining.. or that you haven’t washed your hair for over a week. All you want to do is stare out the window and protect others from the feelings you’re all too familiar with. You are lost and the sky is falling and the walls are closing onto you and you can’t breath. You might even have a psychotic panic attack. So you step in a cold shower wearing all your clothes and watch the water droplets drain you as if slow motion and beyond your control, hoping it will bring you back, back to the people, back to the world, back to reality, far away from your inner rotten eternal nether of black. You realize you have so much anger never told, never spoken, never understood, you wish you would know how to scream, how to scream for help, until your voice box is no more..but you never screamed, never shouted. You simply don’t know how, you always silent scream and people don’t understand. It breaks your heart every time people leave you again and again, when they promised they will stay. But you take the blame, because you lied. You hid away the demons that possess you. Perhaps you tried to send them signals for help, you silence screamed from the depth of your soul, hoping they would hear. But they did not. It’s all your fault. It’s all because you lied. Yet when people are here to stay, you push them away. It’s all because you lied. You hate yourself yet you can’t really be something else. So you lie their fiercely clinging onto your mannequin, listening to the darkest deepest bass lines, which sounds like the cries from the depth of your soul, whilst the tears stream out of your eyes. You can’t move. But for once you have to take care of yourself because no one else will. At the end of the day you’re always on your own, facing your rotten soul. And it doesn’t matter if you scream because no one will hear. You need to learn to take care of yourself first too, because you will never be somebody’s priority and even if you are, you’ll get rid off them. You need another cold shower, yet more you need a thunderstorm, pouring rain, stormy weather. Maybe then you’ll hear the sky crying too.
izzy806
janainaart
2087
vaporwave
kianamaiart
tangentwithtanner
pixelskylines
stormborns
