d e s t r o y e r

Private & Selective Kanda Yuu Roleplay Blog.

[yoursixwordstory]

To this day I blame myself.

(via yoursixwordstory)

[bacon-of-hope]

Jaw set and teeth gritted, Allen focused intensely on Kanda – trying to find hints of a lie, trying to find evidence of deception within his words, features, posture. His entire body was a bowstring pulled taut, ready to snap – the anger bubbling in his veins was a welcome distraction from the overwhelming dread that was making him feel sick to his stomach. He may not have found a lie in Kanda’s response, but he struggled to believe that that was all there was to it. Kanda had been forced into this war, a victim to the Order’s megalomaniac experiments, chained down and tormented again and again, and not once in his life had he been free – Allen struggled to believe that he would so easily give up his newfound freedom for a war he had never wanted to fight. Why follow the Order willingly after all that they had done to him – to them? 

“You were supposed to be free!” The words tore from his throat in a snarl, mismatched hands finding purchase against Kanda’s chest and pushing, trying to force him backwards. His eyes stung – grief for the two second exorcists who had led such miserable lives burned in narrowed winter sky eyes, threatening to make yet unshed tears spill over. “I can handle this myself! Why the fuck would you give up your freedom again? You were finally …”

[lxtusblossom-blog]

For a brief moment his head ducked, briefly hiding his eyes under the fringe of his bangs. His lips curled into a deep frown as he found himself unable to keep looking into the other’s eyes and denying the truth. He’d already admitted it once - but he wasn’t sure if the words could ever come so easily again. Nor did he want to shoulder Allen with the guilt that he knew the other would stupidly put upon himself. It was easier for them to just be angry with one another, they were good at that. 

When he was pushed away Kanda surprisingly stepped back - hands slipping from their grip and head still partially bowed. He could have been free, he knew that. But his own guilt sat so heavily in the pit of his stomach, demanding some sort of action that Kanda knew he could never ignore it. Nor could he just live with it and spend the rest of his life pretending he still had something he needed to do. 

Raising his head, a forlorn smile briefly showed at his face - an expression of acceptance and melancholy. He knew exactly what he was doing by coming back after all. 

“Dumbass, you aren’t able to do this by yourself.” 

Allen was strong, but the fourteenth, he could never control that on his own. If he had said something earlier, been less wrapped up in his own hatred then maybe - but now he had to help in a different way. “I was free, and  this is what I decided to do. So you can deal with it. You aren’t getting rid of me, I’m not afraid to beat you into submission.” Everyone tried to stop him, but Kanda had made up his mind. He was going to see this war through to its end, to help Allen, and hopefully that heavy weight of guilt in his stomach might dissipate one day.

[angstmemes]

Basic Angst Starters

because sometimes what’s left to the imagination is much more terrifying.

“Are you feeling alright? You don’t look it.” “I just heard something… Something bad…” “Why didn’t you tell me about this?!” “What’s all this blood?!” “Will you tell me what the fuck is going on?” “Don’t give me that look! It wasn’t my fault!” “You should probably sit down for this.” “Please tell me you forgive me!” “I can’t live without you!” “Oh god, It was a mistake coming here… I’m sure of it.” “What the hell happened to you?!” “Where have you been?! I’ve been waiting for hours!” “You promised you wouldn’t do this anymore!” “I knew not to trust you!” “What’s that in your bag…? Is that–? Tell me it’s not!” “Is this what a dislocated shoulder feels like?!” “How could you do this to me?!” “Wake up! Wake up!!! You’re having a nightmare!” “I feel weird… what was in that drink…?” “I don’t want to leave you, but you’re not really giving me another option.” “Please… you’re scaring me…” “Ssh, I heard something again. How aren’t you hearing it? It was loud… and getting closer.” “Are you okay in there? You’ve been so quiet.” “I came as soon as I could! Did he/she get to you already?” “I don’t know whether I want to do this. I don’t know whether I CAN do this.” “Do you remember anything?” “You have to tell me who did this to you!” “No, no, I’m not alright. I’m definitely not alright.” “What’s your fucking problem?!” “Are you crying?” “You’re freaking me out! Please calm down!” “I’m leaving. And I’m not intending to come back.” “You… are dying?” “Did you drink the whole bottle while tripping? Seriously?” “Do you have a deathwish or something? Jesus!” “Ever been held at gunpoint? Want to know what it feels like?” “Stop screaming! Shh, calm down! You have to keep quiet!” “When’s the last time you slept?”.

[almabooma-blog]

“Don’t give me that look! It wasn’t my fault!”

such angst | accepting!!

             ❝ No, you’re right. It wasn’t. ❞

       It was the Order’s, it was God’s, it was the fault of the universe itself and fate’s strings that wound tight, choking around fragile limbs and hearts that faintly beat to fight, to cling to a life whose stage was littered with glass shards and burning coals ( whose actors danced on the strings of a wicked puppeteer ). Alma couldn’t help but think that it was his fault, as well.

       The thought is just another instance that carves pain in hot lines on some already wounded thing deep in his chest and he found his throat warring to produce a sandpaper laugh. He’s breaking now ( so broken; you glass child ) and the engine, the furnace beneath his soul will soon grow quiet no matter what ire tinder and hatred, desperation fuel is shoved its way. Because that’s all he was, right? An empty thing, a silent house, a wind-up toy who dragged himself up on two feet and forced the crank, grinding and clattering, to move because Yu can’t find out can’t give up until the mud drags him down and swallows him whole. Because who cares about the body; it’s the soul.

       Another fissure crackle, another shuddering sigh. The little akuma is on his knees now and, yes, he finds that he is okay with the thought of dying. The house will stay quiet and still.  ❝ Yeah, it really wasn’t your fault, Yu. So don’t be sad. ❞

                    ❝ Instead, I’d like if you could smile. ❞

[almabooma-blog]

       There’s life in his eyes and power in his veins ( dark matter coursing through blood, sizzling under his skin like sparks, like sentient licks of flame ) and, more importantly, Alma Karma is awake. He’d been set adrift in that dark place that was ‘not living but not quite dead’ for years, so very very long, and now he can blink his eyes, feel the ground beneath his feet, and see the world that had kept on turning while he’d laid caged. And now what he sees— is a familiar face.

      In the space between one moment and the next Alma’s right arm came up to seize Mugen’s blade as it whistled through the air with lethal intent and caught it, fingers claw-tipped and the clash of Innocence and Dark Matter flashing blindingly bright before grinding out a hiss akin to hot metal doused in ice water.  ❝ Yu. What a nice ‘good morning’ gift, ❞  The boy turned akuma’s voice is left untouched ( unwarped even as the cheshire grin he next flashes displays fangs to match dagger hands ).

                    ❝ Not happy to see me? ❞

[lxtusblossom-blog]

The force of the other’s hand wrapping around Mugen stops it in its place - forcing Kanda to plant his feet on the ground just so he doesn’t slide against the pressure. The other’s strength is immense but usually Akuma are always strong - this doesn’t come as a surprise. 

Hearing Alma’s voice, twisted by darkness, but Alma’s all the same is a surprise. 

Blue eyes widen in surprise and horror, the hair on the back of his neck prickling almost violently. No, no he did not want to believe that the akuma in front of him was actually Alma. Even if there was no explanation for why it would have the other’s face. After all, Kanda had mutilated the other to the point of not being able to regenerate he had been sure of that. 

                         “ Go die ! “ 

The words burn in his throat like acid. Those were were never ones he’d want to say to Alma but if he tried to say anything else it might bring him to his knees. Twisting Mugen in Alma’s grip, knowing it would burn harshly, Kanda kicked his ankle out to sweet the akuma’s feet out from underneath it. 

                     “ Sick fuck, wearing his face !” 

[lxtusblossom-blog]

man i wanted a bleach verse, a tokyo ghoul verse and a pokemon verse. because honestly i just love shoving kanda into situations that would make him slightly angry and very annoyed.

[timothy9587]

[bravxryy]

                        I’m suspicious of E V E R Y T H I N G.

                                     I’m a l w a y s suspicious of everyone around me.

                                 Someone I met yesterday could be an A K U M A today.

                                                  ‘Cause that’s the type of thing we’re up against.

[lxtusblossom-blog]

i know i have a couple of drafts i owe people namely inkxpapers and i will be getting those done as soon as I get home from class today ~

[quatuordeciim-blog]

       It was a sizable relief to no longer have his shirt choking him from under the armpits but the sharp glimmer of irritation still remained embedded the fair haired exorcist’s gaze. Was he planning to make another escape attempt? Duh. That far from quelled his displeasure at being caught and vigorously manhandled like Kanda still seemed intent on doing. The temptation to simply invoke and claw himself free with a flourish of cape was a strong one, but instead Allen moved on to grit his teeth and push out words in a hiss between the walls of enamel.

             ❝ Have you taken a single look at the things that are after me? Plural! And I’m not stupid, either— whatever you might think. I know that the Order wants to see me back in chains, ❞  Friends, dear comrades, the family he’d managed to find for himself; it hurt like glass churning in his heart with each frantic beat to imagine that many of them would now see him as the enemy, some dangerous and wild creature, but that didn’t matter. It wasn’t their fault. To stay was to sit and wait for death, and Allen Walker would not stand still.

       He began to actively pry at the swordsman’s fingers with his own thin digits.  ❝ I also know that you’re just here to kill me if I lose, but I don’t need the hovering. ❞

[lxtusblossom-blog]

                      “ I have seen what’s after you, first hand.                          Because you fucking ran away last time                         they all showed up!” 

It was almost laughable really, the idea of the Order wanting Allen in chains. They were all already chained to the organization, prisoner’s of their own ability and usefulness. But he understood more than anyone what the other was running from, it wasn’t as though Kanda was going to drag the other back juts to be locked up. That wouldn’t accomplish anything .

He might have been tempted to let Allen pull his fingers off his collar one by one, if not for the words that fell from the other’s lips. They made Kanda’s ears ring and his vision practically go red with anger. 

Which was why he felt no guilt in tightening his grip and giving the other one more good, harsh, shake. He didn’t want to kill any more of his comrades. One had been enough, and that was still so fresh in his memory. His teeth grit hard, trying to hold back the words that burned his throat.

                       “ That isn’t what i’m here for. But you’re making                          killing you a very tempting idea. I’m not going                          to kill anyone else for the Order’s benefit.” 

Akuma and Noah aside, Kanda was here of his own will and for his own reasons. If he had to kill Allen to keep the other from hurting others, he might resort to that. But that was the last resort for this venture.

[karmaalma]

[almakegasutenshikarma-deactivat]

Take a good look at Alma’s face.Why…does he look like that?I don’t….get this at all

ariataki

[bacon-of-hope]

The display of violence to the wall next to his head returned the glare to Kanda at full force – Allen got the message, but that didn’t mean he was going to let Kanda stop him ….  … if he could help it. His resolve was one thing, but his physical state another; weeks upon weeks of running and hiding had taken its toll on the teen. He wasn’t eating nearly enough out of fear of drawing attention towards himself, the bags beneath his eyes spoke volumes of sleepless nights with the occasional hour spent in a restless, nightmare-drenched doze; the fear of not waking up as himself was anchored too deep within his aching bones to allow more than that. Not to mention the akuma who remained hard on his heels no matter how little he rested … 

Frankly, Allen was beyond exhausted – at this point he wasn’t sure if he could get away from Kanda if the swordsman really didn’t want him to leave.  Gritting his teeth at that thought, he tipped his chin up and used every inch of his height to its fullest, uncaring of the blade to his throat that wasn’t going to seriously harm him anyway – he may not be as tall as Kanda, but he could feign enough confidence to make up for it. 

By the time the swordsman had finished speaking, Allen was shaking with helpless anger, a sinking feeling weighing on his chest that had been brought forth by the realization of just what it meant that Kanda had willingly returned to the Order and accepted the General’s rank, only to blatantly act against their wishes now. For Allen’s sake. 

There was no way to mask the dread from his chilled words when he spoke up eventually, his trembling voice mirroring his body. “… Kanda … if this is why you returned to the Order, I’m going to punch you in the face.”

You were supposed to be free, you bastard …!

[lxtusblossom-blog]

He was not Lenalee, he couldn’t judge just from looking at Allen whether or not the other was exhausted or not. But what he could tell was that the other exorcist wasn’t using his full strength to fight back against him - and that alone was enough to tell Kanda that the other was run down. The white haired exorcist would never let himself be pushed around and held against his will if he could help it. 

The other’s words stung, causing him to jerk back in a brief moment of astonishment. Kanda hadn’t thought his motives were that transparent - but  he wasn’t going to let Allen figure them out this easily. It didn’t take hearing the other’s threat to know he’d hate to realize he’d been a large part of why Kanda found himself in the position he was in now. 

“Don’t flatter yourself.” Kanda snaps automatically, shaking his head at the other’s supposed stupidity. But the fact was he could not have just gone about his life peacefully after what Allen had done for him, especially after knowing the other’s fate was perilous in the hands of the Order who wanted him dead and to use him at the same time. 

“I want to end this war just as much as everyone else.” 

It was the reason he had been created, the reason that Alma had died - and if he could end this war it was the least that he could do to right the wrongs that had happened to them and make sure they didn’t happen to anyone else.  So he wasn’t lying, but Allen had already guessed one of the main reasons he had returned.  “And for some stupid reason, we’ll probably need you if we want to end it for good.” 

[saudadc-blog]

            “… Ah, that makes sense,” he acquiesced after a moment,             azure hues further scrutinizing the visage of the Exorcist             standing before him. “I will have someone prepare a room             for you, then.”

[lxtusblossom-blog]

                  He gives Bak a faint nod, as much thanks as he could                   manage. Looking around for a moment, lips pressed into                   a thin line Kanda seemed to grow even more tense the                   longer the silence dragged on. “Its too quiet without that                   old man around.” 

[kuchiikibyakuya-deactivated2014]

[lxtusblossom-blog]

kuchiikibyakuya-deactivated2014:

H A P P I N E S S

[lxtusblossom-blog]

bacon-of-hope:

Silver hues reminded more of the colour of sharpened blades as they met Kanda’s in a glare, his teeth gritted and his body tense. Defiance was the prominent emotion within Allen’s chest, and it was mirrored in his stance, in the fingernails leaving crescent marks in the palms of his hands as they clenched into fists. “What the hell, Kanda?!”

This whole situation was difficult enough, why couldn’t they just let him go? They were only getting themselves in trouble with the Order and blindly running into a danger he couldn’t protect them from. His gaze flickered to Kanda’s arms, studying the position they were in – finding an opening to escape and waiting for the right moment to take advantage of it. “Just leave me alone! What’s it to you, anyway?!” 

I don’t want your help, I want you all safe.

When he saw the other’s gaze move away from his face and to his arm instead Kanda made sure to slam his fist against the wall right near Allen’s head. A bid to draw the other’s attention away from a likely plan to escape and back towards him instead. 

                         “ Because, I’m not going to let you do this on                            your own.”

Not after everything Allen had done for him and Alma, not after the white haired exorcist had nearly sacrificed himself in order to make sure he had at least a few good moments.  Sliding Mugen closer to the other’s throat he narrowed his eyes threateningly at the other exorcist. 

                        “ You’re just going to make things worse if you try.                             Everyone is trying to kill you or capture you, and                            you can’t fight them all off on your own.”

But now, Kanda could at least keep the exorcists at bay.

[zephanerosis-deactivated2020112]

                        [ TIME ] and [ TIDE ] wait for no man

[zephanerosis-deactivated2020112]

          “Neither are his. Really, we’re more alike than you give us credit for.”

[lxtusblossom-blog]

            “ I don’t care if his smiles are fake, yours are more dangerous.               Because none of us know what the hell you’re doing with him.”