love like before

lydia parker. 33. screenwriter.

[lydsparker-blog]

jameswt​:

𝐥𝐲𝐝𝐢𝐚 𝐩𝐚𝐫𝐤𝐞𝐫.​​

            he  hummed  along  as  she  sang  her  part,  smothering  her  with  soft  kisses  wherever  he  could .    “  oh ,  carter .  you  know  carter ,  right  ?  ”    he’d  much  rather  rest  his  head  on  her  neck ,  though  considering  their  difference  in  height ,  it  would  put  a  strain  on  his  neck .  he  settled  for  the  top  of  her  head  instead .    “  wouldn’t  let  me  go  until  i  took  a  shot,  that  turned  into  seven  …  or  was  it  ten  ?  i  lost  count .  ”    he  laughs  softly  in  his  drunken  haze .    “  hope  you  two  didn’t  miss  me  too  much ?  ”    his  hands ,  those  which  were  wrapped  around  her  waist ,  moved  over  to  the  sides  of  her  stomach .  it  had  grown  the  past  months .  the  thought  of  being  a  father  hadn’t  ever  crossed  his  mind .   he  didn’t  have  a  good  one ,  therefore  he  was  terrified  he’d  become  it  —  some  things  were  hereditary  after  all.  

lydia couldn’t help but let small giggles escape her lips as he places soft kisses along her skin. peace coming over her now that he was home. “yes, i know carter” she replied as she looked up at him, a hand coming up to caress his cheek gently “see, that’s why you have me there. i keep count for you and i whisk you away when it’s time to come home.” the brunette leaned forward on her tiptoes to leave a soft, lingering kiss to his lips “oh we did. alfred and dorota only keep me occupied for so long. i’m going stir crazy here and i wish i could be out having fun with you” she let her body sway slowly “i’m glad you enjoyed yourself tonight, you deserve it. you’ve been working so hard and soon we’ll have a crying baby at night and we’ll forget what nights like this were like.” there was no denying how frightened she was, her own mother had given her up like it was nothing after her birth. she was thankful for the people who took her in, she had a decent life but she was certain that she would go to the end of the earth to make sure that their child had everything they needed. she was going to try her hardest to be the mother she always wanted. “are we still going to dance like this even after she gets here?” lydia’s hand covered one of his, it amazed her to know that she was growing a part of both of them. soon there would be a third set of feet running around and causing mayhem and she was counting down the days until then. 

[lydsparker-blog]

for the last four years it had become a weekly tradition, thursday nights were set aside for dinner at james’ residence. early on they had decided it was merely a way to dedicate two hours of putting work to the side and just being around good company, unfortunately that rule seemed to be hit or miss. lydia had gotten done with her meeting early and stopped to grab a bottle of wine before heading over to the familiar home. her first stop was to say hello to alfred, drop him off his favorite cookies, next was to present the flowers she had brought for dorota and tell her about her week. ( not having a close relationship to her adoptive mother and never knowing her biological mother made lydia gravitate towards dorota. she had become extremely grateful for her over the years. ) hearing music coming from the sitting room lydia rolled her eyes, knowing full well that jessie was in there. she walked in slowly and looked over at him, pulling her glasses off “well if i would have known you would be here i would have brought you 

@fknjessie​

[jameswt]

𝐥𝐲𝐝𝐢𝐚 𝐩𝐚𝐫𝐤𝐞𝐫.​

lydia grinned widely “why be one thing when you can be it all?” she teased as she took a bite of the sandwich “no” she shook her head “it was sleep walk, johnny and santo, no?” she asked as she finished chewing her food “either way i found all of our old records so they are both in there” lydia’s eyes widened a little when he asked what they were waiting for and that they should play it. it wasn’t a bad idea, in fact it warmed her heart to think maybe if they took a small jump back into their past that their creativity might start up again. deep down though she couldn’t help but dread the sound of the vinyl playing on the record player, the last time they had done this was a night that should have carried the start to beautiful memories and instead it just left an empty pit in her stomach. she couldn’t let him see it still bothered her though. lydia jumped off the stool and moved over to the living room, wiping the dust from the old cover before she placed it on the player. the gentle sounds filled the room and the brunette looked over her shoulder at james with a soft smile “brings back memories.” 

           “   it  does .  ”    he  agrees ,  nodding  his  head  in  sync  with  the  melodies  that  filled  the  room .  “  stars  shining  bright  above  you ~  ”    he  sang  playfully .  he  wasn’t  the  best  singer ,  but  he  had  a  voice  decent  enough  to  carry  the  right  tune .   “  night  breezes  seem  to  whisper ,  i  love  you ~  ”   he  opens  up  his  palm ,  beckoning  to  share  a  dance  with  him .

—  1954

“  birds  singing  in  the  sycamore  tree ~  ”    he  sang  whispered  quietly  behind  his  pregnant  wife’s  ear .  he  was  a  little  drunk ,  he’d  just  came  home  after  a  wrap  party ,  he  reeked  of  alcohol  and  had  come  home  to  lydia  playing  records .    “  dream  a  little  dream  of  me ~  ”    he  sang  a  pitch  higher  in  an  attempt  to  make  her  laugh .  he  grabs  her  from  her  seat  and  pulls  her  to  dance  with  him .    “  it’s  your  turn  —  it’s  your  turn  darling !  ”    he  exclaims  in  drunken  vigor,  before  resting  his  head  on  top  of  hers .  

[lydsparker-blog]

hearing james beginning to sing she couldn’t help but grin widely, it had been so long since she had heard him sing and it warmed her soul. her arms crossed over her chest for a moment while she watched him, seeing his hand reach out to her she sighed and made her way to him, taking his hand and placing the other one on his shoulder as she moved closer and they began to sway. 

           1954

lydia had been home, working on a script and resting as per doctors orders even though she so desperately wanted to be out celebrating with her husband. it was getting late, the moon and stars were shining brightly out the window as lydia changed the record over. not even a few seconds later she felt a presence behind her and she couldn’t help but jump as she turned around to see james. “you startled me” she laughed as he began singing. how could you ever be mad at somebody for scaring you when they looked and sounded as good as james, even if he was inebriated. allowing him to pull her up from her seat, she wrapped her arms around his body, keeping him close as she rest her head against his chest. “say "night-ie night" and kiss me” she sang “just hold me tight and tell me you'll miss me” - “while I'm alone and blue as can be, dream a little dream of me” she shook her head at him, pushing his fallen hair out of his face “we missed you, how did it go? seems like you had fun, you smell like it at least.” maybe it was the hormones zooming through her body but the smaller woman kept her arms tightly around him, not wanting to ever let go of him, she had missed him so much that day and he was only gone for half the day. 

[lydsparker-blog]

jameswt​:

𝐥𝐲𝐝𝐢𝐚 𝐩𝐚𝐫𝐤𝐞𝐫.​

            “  stubborn ,  but  generous .  ”    he  corrects  himself  as  he  picked  up  the  other  half  of  the  sandwich  he  was  offered .  “  hm ?  ”    he  raised  a  brow  as  he  bit  into  the  sandwich .    “  dream  a  little  dream  of  me,  ozzie  nelson ?  ”    he  answers  as  he  chews  on  the  portion  sandwich  he  bot  off ,  devoid  of  any  decadence  and  table  manners  he  usually  held  around  other  people .  he  swallows  it  down  and  continues ,  “  what  are  we  waiting  for  then ?  ”    he  insinuates  a  little  trip  down  memory  lane .   “  should  we  play  it  ?  might  get  the  creative  juices  flowing . ”

lydia grinned widely “why be one thing when you can be it all?” she teased as she took a bite of the sandwich “no” she shook her head “it was sleep walk, johnny and santo, no?” she asked as she finished chewing her food “either way i found all of our old records so they are both in there” lydia’s eyes widened a little when he asked what they were waiting for and that they should play it. it wasn’t a bad idea, in fact it warmed her heart to think maybe if they took a small jump back into their past that their creativity might start up again. deep down though she couldn’t help but dread the sound of the vinyl playing on the record player, the last time they had done this was a night that should have carried the start to beautiful memories and instead it just left an empty pit in her stomach. she couldn’t let him see it still bothered her though. lydia jumped off the stool and moved over to the living room, wiping the dust from the old cover before she placed it on the player. the gentle sounds filled the room and the brunette looked over her shoulder at james with a soft smile “brings back memories.” 

[demergats]

upon  entering  the  party,  the  ingenue  quietly  recalls  the  bitter,  jaundiced  tone  her  mother  used  to  use  to  describe  them  .  of  course,  the  bitter,  failed  starlet  rarely  got  to  go  inside  .  her  bitterness  had  been  a  direct  consequence  of  ostracism,  after  all  .  but  sometime,  she  got  a  small  glance  inside,  and  it  reminder  her,          (          and  by  proxy  cathrine,          )            of  all  the  things  she’d  never  have  .  but  in  an  alternate,  surprise  ending,  cathrine  suddenly  has  it  .  she’s  entered,  and  has  been          (          for  the  most  part          )          welcomed  into  the  very  the  room  her  mother  wasn’t          —          and  has  quickly  learned  that  it’s  not  simply  the  bitter,  cold  place  her  mother  described  .  no,  it’s  just  drenched  in  gold  and  glamorous  talent,  and  cathrine  can’t  help  but  feel  terribly,  terribly  small  .  so  bright,  perturbed  hues  desperately  search  for  something  familiar  to  cling  to  .  still  quite  fresh  to  the  scene,  the  young  ingenue  hasn’t  mastered  the  task  of  socializing  among  the  masters          :          still  starstruck  by  the  people  she  not  long  ago          (          and  still  does          )          refer  to  as  her  heroes  .  so,  upon  finally  spotting  someone  familiar,  she  quickly  gears  straight  for  them,  no  matter  their  confused  dynamic  .          “          hi  .          ”          she  introduces  her  presence  to  lydia  softly,  eyes  clearly  screaming  for  help  in  the  wrong  place  .          “          sorry,  is  this  strange  ?  i  just  …  i  don’t  actually  know  anyone  else  here  .          ”

          (          @lydsparker​          )

[lydsparker-blog]

as much as lydia hated how much of a fraud people were at these things. they acted as though they loved each individual they spoke with, when in reality they were just kissing ass. the last thing lydia would ever do was kiss up to someone who had no respect for her. it wasn’t everybody there that was a total asshat, but there were a few, she just knew to keep away from them. the woman looked down at her watch “one hour and then you can leave” she mumbled to herself before looking up, at the exact moment she locked eyes with cathrine and swallowed when she realized she was heading her way. “hi” she said with a hint of curiousity in her voice “well to be fair, we don’t know each other either” she reminded the younger girl. considering how they were first introduced, it was better if nobody knew that and it stayed between them. lydia could tell the girl was scared and who would she be if she just left her for the wolves? “you can stay by me, that’s fine. how’d you get invited to this anyway?” bringing the crystal glass to her lips she took a drink from the liquor.  “you know, i’m sorry, we haven’t even met properly,. i’m lydia” 

[lydsparker-blog]

jameswt​:

𝐥𝐲𝐝𝐢𝐚 𝐩𝐚𝐫𝐤𝐞𝐫.​

              “  i  forget  how  stubborn  you  are ,  lily .  ”    he  laughs  in  amusement ,  when  he  caught  her  mumbling .  although ,  he  did  appreciate  that  he  listened  to  her  and  sat  still  while  he  whipped  up  something  to  eat .  it’s  been  a  while  since  james  had  prepared  something  for  someone .  he’d  undermined  how  domestic  chores  were  soothing .  the  hustle  and  bustle  of  his  life  made  him  forget ,  it  seems .  good  thing  he  still  knew  how  to  prepare  a  sandwich ,  and  once  it  was  done ,  he  placed  the  plate  in  front  of  her  —  the  sandwich  cut  horizontally  into  two  separate  acute  triangles.    “  bon  appétit,  ma  chérie .  ”

“how could you ever forget such a thing?” the sarcastic tone just peaking through enough, she couldn’t help it, there was no pretending around james. he’d known her too well and there was never any hiding around him. as she sat perched up on the stool she was hypnotized by the way he moved around the kitchen. it had been so long since anyone had cooked for her, even if it was something as simple as making her a sandwich. where life used to once be filled in so many parts of a home now it was dull and lonely. a mental note was added, cook more; find the little joys again. lydia was quickly snapped out of her daze when the plate was placed in front of her, she clasped her hands and smiled up at him “merci” the words came out cheerfully as she picked up half the sandwich and smiled “eat the other half, please.” she motioned to the remaining half before her eyes lit up “i forgot to tell you, i came across our favorite record today. well used to be favorite. the thing was so dusty, i don’t think it’s been played since we divorced.” 

[lydsparker-blog]

odettevalencia​:

that was fair. odette certainly wasn’t going to stand back and let someone else perform in her place. not if she had anything to say about it. “in that case, we better get to work,” she grinned. she nodded. that made sense. honestly, it wasn’t all too different than her own writing. different subject material, different formatting, but writing happened when writing happened. “sounds familiar,” she said. as the next words stumbled from lydia’s mouth, she stepped forward, putting her finger square in her chest. “none of that talk. washed up? no. i will accept none of that. you are far from washed out, and you will be invited to the table as long as you live,” she said, pulling the script in front of her face and beginning to recite the lines lydia had written. 

lydia appreciated the pick me up, it was nice to have a subtle push, not somebody hanging a deadline in front of her face or the condescending comments that came from the heads of the production companies. in all honesty nobody pushed lydia like she pushed herself, she wanted to be at the top or no where else. she made a promise to herself as a little girl to never let her past define her. anything was possible. “thank you” the woman said kindly, pressing her lips together in a soft smile. as odette began to recite the lines lydia listened carefully and took notes on where edits needed to be made. after one run through of the lines lydia excused herself to grab a bottle of wine that was inside “this is the only way we are going to get through this.” she said as she appeared again, pouring them both a glass before she sat back down. 

[elisabetholsens]

Alicia Vikander as Isabel Graysmark in The Light Between Oceans (2016), dir. Derek Cianfrance

[lydsparker-blog]

jameswt​:

𝐥𝐲𝐝𝐢𝐚 𝐩𝐚𝐫𝐤𝐞𝐫.​

               as  soon  as  the  stick  was  returned  to  him,  he  secures  it  between  his  lip  before  grabbing  her  hand  to  heave  himself  up .    “   don’t  talk  nonsense .   ”    he  couldn’t  imagine  having  another  writer .  sure ,  there  were  some  he  had  worked  in  when  he  couldn’t  get  a  hold  of  lydia ,  but  he  always  gravitated  toward  her  —  always  asked  for  her  input  in  whatever  he  did .    “  it’s  just  writer’s  block ,  or  you’re  just  tired ,  or  you  just  need  a  good  sandwich .  ”    he  pulls  her  away  from  the  cabinets  and  directs  her  to  one  of  the  stools  on  the  island .    “  you ,  ”    he  directs.  “  stay  put .  let  me  sort  it  out,  okay  ?  ”    he  asks,  working  around  the  kitchen  as  if  he  owned  the  place.    “  still  like  your  lettuce  shredded  ?  ”

lydia groaned quietly to herself, she hated when she derailed from her writers train, it was always so hard to get back on. she’d been working herself to the bone and she wanted to do good, not only for herself but for james also. “you can sleep when you’re dead” she mumbled under her breath the same moment he pulled her away from the cabinets. her eyes glared up at him as he told her to sit down “you do make the best sandwiches and i’m starving.” the smaller woman sat atop one of the stools she had in her kitchen and watched him work effortlessly to prepare them something to eat. a smile appeared on her face upon hearing his question “wow you remembered something so small...but yes. thank you.” 

[lydsparker-blog]

odettevalencia​:

odette swung the door shut behind her and quickly moved to her side, looking over the script in question. “it sounds nice so far,” she stated, taking it so she could perform the lines. “and what would happen if you didn’t have the next big script ready at all times?” she asked, stretching a bit as if she needed to to prepare. “and what about when this one is finished? do you immediately move onto the next?”

lydia smiled softly to herself as odette complimented her work so far. it wasn’t that she always needed reassurance, but it was nice when it came from somebody who didn’t create movies for a living. “well then somebody else would step up and make the next big then. while i’m all for that, i can’t let myself not at least try.” the woman shrugged as she turned to face her friend more “i’m always working on a couple different things, whichever one i feel the most inspiration for at the time is usually how i decide which one is next.” she exhaled as she thought for a moment, the next words coming out quietly “i just can’t give them a reason to say i’m washed up and cut me out. as long as i continue to write quality content, they have to keep inviting me to the table.” 

[lydsparker-blog]

starletmades​:

          ❛   𝐈'𝐕𝐄   𝐀𝐋𝐖𝐀𝐘𝐒   𝐆𝐎𝐓   jokes   ———   both   as   a   defense   mechanism   &&   to   make   you   laugh   .   it’s   what   they   pay   me   for   .   ❜   broderie   dress   light   in   smoldering   californian   heat   ,   she   tilts   her   darkened   sunglasses   atop   her   blonde   head   .   the   airy   breeze   of   the   hollywood   hills   a   stark   difference   to   her   beachfront   views   .   ❛   i   have   the   bare   bones   of   script   idea   ,   doll   .   though   nothing   any   serious   producer   would   want   to   make   into   a   talkie   .   ❜

Lydia grinned at her friends words “what i would give to be able to joke as a defense mechanism” her eyes glanced down at the page as she drew another x through half the page “if i ever decide to write a tragic comedy, i’m coming to you for help.” the brunette sent a playful wink as she leaned over the table, interested in what ideas Marina had “you don’t know that, all it takes is one person. what’s it about?” 

[filmgifs]

You mustn’t give your heart to a wild thing. The more you do, the stronger they get, until they’re strong enough to run into the woods or fly into a tree. And then to a higher tree and then to the sky. Audrey Hepburn as Holly Golightly in Breakfast at Tiffany’s (1961) dir. Blake Edwards

[lydsparker-blog]

jameswt​:

𝐥𝐲𝐝𝐢𝐚 𝐩𝐚𝐫𝐤𝐞𝐫.​

              “   lydia,  darling.  ”    he  took  the  cigarette  hanging  on  his  lip  to  sit  in  between  his  fingers  instead .  what  time  was  it  ?  he  wondered,  and  how  did  they  end  up  on  the  floor  .    “  you  know  a  new  writer  is  not  an  option  for  me  .  ”  he  moves  over  to  her  side .  “  maybe  we  just  need  a  break  .  ”  he  suggests,  looking  over  at  the  clock  :  three  a.m.    “  maybe  make  a  snack  in  the  kitchen  ?  ”

this always happened, a giant brick wall would show up and lydia would hit it full force. she wasn’t sure how long she’d been writing or even what day it was anymore. she sighed seeing james look at her, reaching for the cigarette from his fingers to have a drag of her own. maybe it would help clear her mind. the smooth smoke invaded her lungs and calmed her for a moment before she returned it to him “maybe it’s what you need. a fresh new writer who’s got stories to tell. I’ve done told all mine I’m afraid.” the brunette set her glass down “a snack does sound good, what are you thinking?”lydia asked, reaching for his hand to help him up before disappearing into the kitchen to rummage through the cabinets.

[lydsparker-blog]

odettevalencia​:

meeting with lydia to read lines was one of odette’s favorite activities. she was no actress by any means, but that was half the fun. being behind the camera and memorizing lines was never going to be her life, which made the line reading a once in a lifetime experience. frankly, she’d read some lines that went on to be performed by big actresses before many had even seen them, and there was a certain thrill in that. with a fling of the door, odette grinned widely. “don’t sound so troubled, babe! you always get it sorted out.” 

lydia was thankful to have such a good friend like odette, sure she wasn’t an actress but she read the lines well enough for the writer to hear the words spoken aloud. she’d never ask an actual actress to do so, they’d get attached to the part and more than likely they’d never be the one to actually perform the lines. “you’re not wrong, i’ll get it sorted if it’s the last thing i do. i just want it done sooner rather than later. i’ve got to have the next big script ready at all times.” 

[lydsparker-blog]

lydia loved nothing more than to sit in her backyard, surrounded by the few farm animals that she had wondering around. her recent move to the newly built home in the hills provided enough space for her to have a couple furry friends, to help not make her feel so alone. the chickens had just passed by her when she noticed a figure walking into her back gate “i hope you’ve got something i can read, if not a script then at least tell me you’ve got some new jokes.” 

@starletmades​

[lydsparker-blog]

the words weren’t forming on the page correctly and frankly, lydia was close to pulling her hair out. she leaned back in her seat, taking a drink from the glass of wine she had poured. “i give up, writing is no longer easy for me” she complained to the man sitting next to her “jamie, you’ll need to find yourself a new writer. i’m sorry darling.” 

@jameswt

[lydsparker-blog]

lydia had four pages that needed to be read through, she couldn’t quite find the correct placement for some of the lines and she was waiting patiently for odette to walk through her door. like clockwork, the girl made her presence known through the front door. the brunette’s eyes floated up from her sheet to make eye contact and point at the end of the table “i’ve got them waiting for you, i’ve got to get them figured out, they are keeping me up at night.” 

@odettevalencia​