More B. Dylan Hollis quotes without context for funzies:
Her name is Mildred.
‘Serve on lettuce.’ Lettuce not…
ITS ALREADY MULCH!!
We got onion and garlic, the hallowed powders of middle America.
This is why we don’t perform lobotomies anymore.
I’m using butter because I have standards. …..do I?
Oh fun! They’re individually wrapped.
Thank you… dead lady.
Are you feeling Victorian? I’m feeling very Victorian.
Don’t worry, there’s still a half cup of walnuts, ‘cause when it’s bad it might as well crunch.
First, we crush the hopes and dreams out of a half pound of vanilla wafers.
It’s vintage, so I rock with it, even though it’s loud and objectively distasteful.
WHY IS THE SUN SO BRIGHT?? …did they drop the bomb?
First pulverize a cup of coconut. …..that’s rice.
How do you make a ginger snap? Insult his hair color.
Someone didn’t change their motor oil.
Do not put this on a warm crust—the city of Pittsburg will throw rocks through your windows.
I can guarantee your grandpa will love these.
To think I have a college degree…
Suggest lard to me and you’ll be shortening your lifespan…
Good morning. …it’s not.
