A reflection.
Revisiting my tumblr 4 years on makes me realise what a desperate case I was (potentially still am... sometimes). High school was meant to be the time of my life, where I had all of these friends and social activities and in some ways it was the best and in others I can still picture myself screaming on the inside everyday and banging and crashing on the way up the driveway and through the gate for the last time. I learnt so much in school- not nearly enough about logs (later discovered and successfully dealt with in second year of university), but about heartbreak (both from friends and someone who i thought was my best friend) and about what I could deal with and what I should not try to keep dealing with. But it wasn’t until after school that i really learnt, what it felt like to be free, to actually find myself (god I struggled with that), to miss people especially people who used to be in your life. I learnt that I was a ok on my own. That it’s fine to be who you are and not to apologise. It sounds corny but god it’s so damn true. I learnt that sometimes it’s okay to break down and to feel what it’s like because hiding it and plastering it on a tumblr hoping someone would save me is not going to happen and I need to always remember to save myself. I wonder if I should laugh or cry at how far I’ve come. And I wonder if younger me would be proud of who I am now but then I remember younger me would of told me to get on with it because life is now and in-front and not behind us.
